babysitting/fees

Julie - posted on 05/08/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hi moms! I would like to run a question/scenario by all of you and get some feedback! I had been using the same babysitter for 8 years and my husband and I thought we had been very fair with how we paid her. (5/hour for one child, if it were both it was 10/hr) She was living at home or going to college (this current school yr) and living in a dorm. She is transferring to a college basically in town for the next school year and could live at home or in the dorms. She is choosing to get an apartment so she can be on her own. She recently sent me a text stating she would no longer accept 5/hr for one child and that she expected minimum wage (7.50) because now she has to pay rent. (She also stated that minimum wage is a law!! not for babysitting in Wisconsin!)Anyway, I basically said I thought we had been fair and her incurring more expenses was not our problem. It would only had been for one month until our oldest daughter was out of school for the summer. She will be living at home this summer and can walk to our house it's so close so there's no gas or anything to worry about. I didn't budge and now she has called me ungrateful, manipulative, etc. Was I wrong to stand my ground?? I can't go to my boss and ask for more money because i want to enhance MY lifetstyle!! any thoughts are appreciated!! thanks

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Jennifer - posted on 05/15/2012

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Oh and do you provider her meals while she is there? Thats another consideration. I encourage you to work with her as far as teaching her compromise and tact as that will be something she will carry with her for the rest of her life. She is feeling the waters of her independence and she made a clumsy approach, but if you can make it about encouraging her growth as an individual (and still find backups).. then rest assured she may start babysitting for the lower wage becasue she is treated well and learn some good lessons in the process. Either way, tell her how much you appreciate her (and why) -- be specific.. leave the door open that if she wants to ever earn extra income that you liked having her and perhaps on the side of another job.. You have to let her go or else yours kids welfare get caught in the middle of a power struggle.
And relationships are too valubale for that..

Jennifer - posted on 05/15/2012

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Minimum wgae laws is for employees that claim taxes. She must claim her job on taxes in order for that to be valid. Plus, does she have a degree in childcare? She is valid in asking of course and of course its up to you.. but technically no she cannot slam you with any minimum wage law if you pay her out of your pocket and she is not filing taxes. I would remind her that with both kids she is making $10 an hour.. perhaps ask if there is another way you could accomodate her needs or else if she is really that good of a babysitter (which those are HARD to find) then perhaps pay her that wage for the youngest and less for the oldest. You can look up what daycare providers charge and she is actually paid quite well. Perhaps what she is really needing is something more consistent which comes with the territory of having her own place.. maybe encourage her independence by recommending that and then offering her time with you as well as a second job if fitting so it would double her income?.. either way I would start looking for a back up(s) as it seems she is wanting to stretch her wings a bit and assert her independence (which is GOOD!!).. offer your support to her during this time and rest assured she will at least leave with a golden impression of the family who "let her in".. :) I hope you find something that works. :)

Kelina - posted on 05/14/2012

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If she expects minimum wage she's in the wrooooong field lol. Where I am I believe t's about 2.50 per child per hour. and that's in a licensed facility. It might be a bit more, maybe 3.50. hmmmm, pay 7.50 to have someone watch one child or pay $7 to have someone watch them both. Think I know what I'd choose. It's difficult especially when you want your child to be watched in your own home, but I really think she went about this the wrong way and you had every right to tell her no. I'm also wondering if she's like this with you, then how is she with your kids? and if you give in to this or don't and she's still working for you, how will it affect the way she treats your kids? or talks to them about you?

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Janice - posted on 05/15/2012

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Your sitter's approach was wrong for sure, very rude. Where I live the average sitter is paid around 8$ an hour for one child and then a dollar more per hour, per kid. That is the rate for just an occasional sitter. I think if she is awesome AND it seems like 7-8$ is the norm in your area than you may want to keep her otherwise ind someone new. Also if you do want to keep her, you need to let her know about the tax laws that others discussed and let her know that your only considering a raise because of how long she has been taking care of your children.

Sherri - posted on 05/13/2012

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You were more than fair. I pay my sitter $5 an hour and she watches all three of my kids. I feel that is really fair. She should be lucky as heck that you were paying her $10 for 2. She also was very immature in her approach to you.

I am thrilled to hear you held your ground, good for you. So now instead of making anything at all she shot herself in the foot because she won't get anything at all.

Also I am a daycare provider and I only make $4 an hour for 1 child and 1/2 price for every subsequent child from that family.

Dove - posted on 05/09/2012

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Have you been paying her the same rate for 8 years? How often is she babysitting?

I don't necessarily agree with her approach and certainly don't agree with her attitude after you said no, but I do childcare for one family and my rate is $10/hour whether it's just one of the kids or both of them. I did childcare for one family a few years ago at $5/hour and would never work for that little again unless I was being paid $5/hour for each kid and was watching multiple children.

Bottom line though, if you like her, want to keep her, and can afford the increase (which if you pay $10/hour for 2 kids...why couldn't you?), pay up. If you can live without her, find someone cheaper and don't worry about it.

Tabitha - posted on 05/09/2012

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It really depends on what you get paid per hour. I only pay $3 per hour but the hours are short and not very often. I think it should just be a set price per day rather than hourly. You are definitly right to stand your ground on this though. Just because she has more bills to pay does not make it your responsibility. If she has bills to pay and cant afford them she needs to find a job that can pay those bills not demand more money from you. I would call her the ungrateful and manipulative person not you.

Julie - posted on 05/08/2012

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i forgot to add, had she approached me differently (more adultlike) I may have been open to meeting her halfway. I was kind of floored that SHE decided to charge me more!

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