Best's and worst's

Fiona - posted on 05/03/2010

Both the best and worst was meeting my partner in high school; because that led to all the other bests in my life (love, children, travel, home ownership etc) but also meant that for half of my life now I have been a half of a whole and defined by our relationship, never really experienced single life, missed out on many experiences (boo hoo, I know poor me, what a hard life *sarcasm*).



But, if meeting partners or having children is excluded then the BEST would have to have been finishing my nursing degree and working in a profession that I loved and was passionate about and skilled at. This gave me such a sense of self and purpose as well as a financially secure future and career options.



WORST was the sudden death of my father in law last year, two months before the birth of my first son. Seeing my partner lose his father just as he was preparing to become one was the saddest and most heart wrenching thing. His dad was like a father to me, so loving and accepting and generous in spirit. My life is so much poorer for his passing and I am saddened everyday that my son never got to meet this wonderful man.

Emma - posted on 04/27/2010

Ok thinking about it a little more I have to change mine.
I would say the worst was the entire year 2004, Everything piled up on me in that year.
in the short version:
My dad died the day after we had a huge fight on the phone, yet another long term relationship went up in smoke, i had it intervene with my mom who is a paranoid schizophrenic, who wont stay on meds, realising that as she has cut off all other family members the buck stops with me regarding taking care of her, I got burgled, and they stole the keepsakes that i had of my dads, was the victim of a home invasion thankfully got out alive, had my contractor threaten me and stalk me, got warned by a security guard at work that everyone knew i lived alone and where i lived, started to have panic attacks and fell into a very dark hole depression wise (i still function when depressed so know one noticed how bad it was) Made some really bad decisions regarding men that made me feel worse about myself. Was drinking way to much Basically had a really shitty year.

My best is still meeting my hubby as i think we saved each other from ourself's as we where so brutally honest about ourself's and where both at the point where you take all or nothing the good the bad and the ugly. and my cat as i got her at the end of 2004 and she needed me as she was a rescue kitten so snapped me out of the downwards spiral, to this day that cat sleeps with me.... and gets spoilt rotten...lol

Charlie - posted on 04/27/2010

Worst ? miscarriage late into my first pregnancy far worse than Nearly killing four of my friends in a car accident and being raped finding out my mum and dad have cancer at the same time all though the last one rates as second worst after miscarriage .

Best was my best friend dragging me to the city to live when i was 19 if it wasnt for her i wouldnt have had the career , the money , the parties , the friends , the travels all of which brought me to meet my amazing fiance , if it wasnt for her i may not have ever met him and we wouldn't have Cooper .

Jennifer - posted on 04/26/2010

The worst day would have to be the day I was raped. The months leading up to it and the first year after, "date" rape. He was my first boyfriend and was abusive from the start. I should have left him long before that, I was beat all my life so I did not think anything of him doing it, until that night when he wanted more then to just hit me. The first year after I wanted to just disapier, I felt it was somehow my fault like I was just born to be treated that way.
The best day other than my girls and my hubby (he was there for me after, the first one I told months after.) Would have to be the day I decided I was worth more then that. "Nevermore" its my personal motto nevermore will I allow anyone to degrade me, nevermore will I be a victom. I am Jennifer not Jen who is the scared child cowering from her mothers fists, or a mans touch!
I may not like to be touched by many people and I never will but I am not so closed off that I can't hug those I love and care for. I can cuddle with and make love to my husband with out feeling threatened and so I am strong. There was a time I felt those things were impossable for me.

Meghan - posted on 04/26/2010

awwww thanks! yeah I know...I went to counseling for about a year after it happened...I feel better but there is always going to be the "What if's" in the back of my mind...

Rosie - posted on 04/26/2010

that horrible meghan!! you do realize that this all comes back to that blaming victims thread. it is not your fault, he chose to do what he did, and you are not responsible for what some psycho chooses to do. cyber hug!!

Meghan - posted on 04/26/2010

I know...I almost didn't even want to put it, but I thought I would be honest since everyone else was...its still scary to think about when I do...he got the death penalty but it will be a lonnnngggg time before that will happen he get something like 5 appeals so it will be somewhere close to 15 years before it will happen...I posted the link for anyone who is interested the story above...and the story will be on tv on May 3rd, I declined interview for the show just because I don't want to keep reliving it but its an interesting story none the less and I think they are allowed to use my media coverage without my permission...



The episode of Solved--Extreme Forensics featuring Jodi's Case will be on:

Monday, May 3, 2010



8:00pm - 9:00pm



Investigation Discovery Channel (ID)



Channel for Cable is 104 OR 2104

Channel for Dish Network is 192

Channel for Direct TV is 285

Channel for att Uverse is 260

Sunny - posted on 04/26/2010

Meghan thats awful! I dont know what to say after reading that....

Meghan - posted on 04/26/2010

Worst thing...I was stalked and almost murdered a little over 2 years ago instead of me it was another girl, I wish it wouldn't have happened at all...I always feel badly for her family and sometimes feel guilty that it was her.
http://www.jurorthirteen.com/GeneralCate...

Best Thing...Living alone for 2 years...I really think it helped me grow as a woman and be very self reliant. I love to think back on my single days and how much fun I had with all of my friends.

Alison - posted on 04/26/2010

Being bullied in high school was the worst because I was stalked by my abusers for months. It continued on and off to a lesser extent for the whole duration of high school (about 3 years).

Accepting Jesus as my personal savior was the best.

Passing my driving test is up there as one of the best because I failed on more than one previous attempt.

Sunny - posted on 04/26/2010

My worst would be when i was 16 my mum had a mental break down packed up her stuff and went on a round the world trip with my grandmother for 4 months leaving me with a total of $400 and 4 kids aged 13, 11, 6 and 13months. It was the hardest thing i had ever been through. Having no food, no money and 4 children to look after with no help (plus i was a heavy drug and alcohol user at the time so stopping without warning was really hard) I was very lucky to have a wonderful community that came together to help us, with food clothes and christmas presents for the kids (it was 3 weeks before christmas when she left) The worst day was going into the bank with all the kids trying to get out some money (i had $5,000 id saved from working part time) only to find out that my mum had put a lock on it so i couldnt touch it until i was 18 or had her signature. I burst into tears and they asked me if i knew where my mum was so they could ring her and open the account that way all i said was she was in another country and had no idea which one! I lost 15kgs and when mum came back i was hospitalized for a week.
The best would be my best friend Marc. I love him with all my heart. He was the only one i told for years about my abuse and rape and he helped me to trust men again and fall in love. He has been there for me every day since we met when we were 12. Id hate to think of how bitter my out look on life would be if i had not had him in my life.
I love my life and i love my past. It has made me who i am and gives me hope for the things to come, both good and bad.
@ Stephany i understand about the cancer! I had skin cancer at 9 which help me to fight ovarian cancer 2 years ago and cervical cancer last year :)

Amber - posted on 04/26/2010

My worst would be just about every memory I have of my father when he was drinking....which was about 90% of my life.
My best day (aside from meeting my hunny and having my son) is a tie between two days. One would be the day my mom left my dad...and the other would be the day that I finally got the guts to tell him to go to hell. I had told him that I was pregnant and that I had moved in with my boyfriend (I obviously hadn't talked to him for a long while before that...) He told me that he needed to meet my boyfriend and that if he didn't approve that I would be moving in with him....I told him over my dead body! I'd already lived with my boyfriend for 6 months at that point and he is wonderful and supportive. The only person who I can fall asleep next to and not have nightmares about my early childhood...the man who taught me that I don't have to be afraid to have children because good fathers exist!

Suzette - posted on 04/26/2010

lol @ LaCi ;D Loving it so far... minus the tornado alerts. Being 7 mo's preggo and running to the laundry room for cover when you hear the warnings outside... soooo not fun!!!

Belinda - posted on 04/26/2010

Worst...being told you have cancer
Best...They were WRONG!

LaCi - posted on 04/26/2010

off topic: *high fives suzette* WOOO go KY! ;D

Jessica - posted on 04/26/2010

Hmm my best and worst kinda go hand in hand as well... the worse things I ever did/have happen was to lose who I was to someone else. I was dating a Mormon guy for a year and the was probably the worse year of my life..its odd how thinking you love someone somehow makes your mind think it's ok for them to treat you a certain way. Because of his religion I was put down, pressured and condemned right, left and center. SO breaking up with him was by far the best thing to happen in my life, I am back to who I am, and it feels damn good to be me. :) Now I married to a wonderful man, who loves my mind, body and soul for everything that is me.

Jocelyn - posted on 04/26/2010

Excluding husbands and kids? Hmmmm... I really don't know. My best and worse go hand in hand. Getting pregnant was the worst thing to happen to me (or so I thought at the time; I've since changed my views :P lol) And become a drug addict was also the best/worse thing. If I had never become a drug addict I would never have gotten clean and therefor would never have met my hubby, had kids or gone back to school (well planning to anyways). And currently my husband is unemployed, which is horrendously stressful and we are going so far into debt I think we'll never get out, but on the other hand I found a job bartending and I am having so much fun not having to be a SAHM, getting to socialize with adults and doing the things I use to love to do BC (like karaoke!). As much as I would love for only good things to happen, there does have to be balance in life. If you never have the bad then you never know how truly good the good is ^_^

Rosie - posted on 04/26/2010

thank you stephany!! i just read your previous post and am amazed at your strength!! i'm so happy that you have been able to find the good in the bad as well. a very inspirational story. this thread is making me cry, god danged pms!! lol!

Ashley - posted on 04/26/2010

Well, all of my bad decisions led me to my husband...so while I wish I wasn't such a partier before then, I wouldn't change it. I don't regret my abortion, but I sure as hell regret the way I was living to have that be the best decision. That really helped to change my life really, it gave me courage (after a couple of months) to leave my loser boyfriend and try things with my "what-if" guy who would become my husband. The best of course would be finally getting to be with Jeff. Because of him I gave up drinking everyday (haven't had a drink in soooo long since I was breastfeeding and am now pregnant) and I don't smoke anymore, and am just happier. I noticed being with him has decreased my depression.

Teresa - posted on 04/26/2010

Worst: Being cheated on and abandoned w/ no money, no help, no plan for future survival, two 6 year olds, and a newborn.



Best: I know you said no kids, but my son. After 2 miscarriages and all the crap mentioned above.... he literally saved my life. As much as I love my girls and can't imagine a single second of my life w/out them.... w/ all the pain I was going through I WOULD have given up if I hadn't been pregnant when my life that I knew was completely destroyed and WOULD have given up w/out having a newborn that needed me every second.

Suzette - posted on 04/26/2010

Stephany, thank you, though I have to say that while my biological father was/is a real piece of work... I wouldn't change the way things were for anything. It led to me having a wonderful Dad and many great experiences, along with those that were bad. But the bad is what helps mold who we are while the good balances it all out!



I think that you're right about people who have to deal with so much, it makes them appreciate the wonderful things in life that much more.



I don't know if I would have the strength to go through your situation, but I have to say that women who have that kind of strength deserve one hell of a vacation!!! I hope you take a few minutes a day to at least relax!



I'd love to say just one thing to those out there who are rude to people who have special needs, or children with special needs, I honestly believe that they need to do just one thing in their lives, (the rude ones that is)... "I'd love to see the world from your point of view, but there's only room in your butt for one head and yours is already jammed too far up there. Have a lovely day!" I wonder how they'd react to that one. Maybe it'd make them think twice before opening their mouths to someone they didn't know again.

Stephany - posted on 04/26/2010

Kati and Suzette- I am so sorry that you both had such horrible bio-dads, but it's nice that you each had positive experiences with stepfathers. Dads can make or break a daughter's image of men like no other being on earth.

April- I have never understood why people feel the need to diminish the spirits of other people. I have two special needs sons and I can't believe some of the things people say to them and to me about them. People can be real jerks, but I'm glad that you met your husband who has changed your outlook a little.

Carolee- What a great way to remind yourself to be strong! Its awesome when someone has that experience of becoming empowered!

Thanks, ladies! It's amazing how very much people are capable of enduring. I find that those of us who have had to deal with so much are often the ones with the biggest hearts, though, so in that sense I wouldn't change a thing. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, and the reason I lost so many pregnancies was to make me appreciate the sons I now have that much more, and to love them no matter what.

Jenny - posted on 04/26/2010

The worst thing in my life was the day my dad died. I was 6 years old and my brother was 10 months. It was a car accident when he was running into town for parts at a demolition derby we were attending. That set off many years of living in poverty and not having my mom around alot as she was either working or out somewhere.



The best thing was buying our house. I love having a home base for my family that is our's alone. It is small and my kids share a room but I love it and it has such positive energy. I never again have to look for a rental with two APBT's. I never have to settle in again and see a for sale sign on the lawn months later. It brings a sense of permenance and stability to our life.



My second best thing will be when I finally get my bike license and buy a Harley Davidson. :)

Suzette - posted on 04/26/2010

Kati, it sounds like you had a biological father similar to my own.... step dad's like yours and mine (who we both refer to as Dad) are the best!!! I wish that more people could have experiences like you and I have with step parents like that. =) I'm glad that you had such a wonderful experience with one, like I have, that has shown you that not all men are such abusive jerks. It's hard to pull out of that cycle when it's something we're shown so young. (I wuv my Daddy too!!!! LOL)

April - posted on 04/26/2010

The worst thing that ever happened to me was losing my hearing at the age of 3 from mengititis, which I almost died from.



It's true..what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...but I never imagined how much hate/prejudice I would experience. Everytime someone said something or did something, a little piece of me died inside.



I'm an adult now and have thicker skin, but can't help to wonder how my life would have been different. Would I have been a fantastic singer? I loved singing and music!



The best thing that's ever happened to me was finding true love. When you're put down so often by others, you begin to think no one loves you (besides family). When I met my husband, that all changed!

Carolee - posted on 04/26/2010

Well... I'm just going to lump from ages 6-24 as my worst experiences and label it "abuse" (multiple kinds from multiple people, including myself). The best thing that happened to me (with the exception of kids and husband) is the day that I finally got my tattoo. It's a tribal dragon, and it is my daily reminder that I will NEVER again allow myself to be abused in ANY way! That was the day that I finally realized my worth as both a woman and a human being.

Rosie - posted on 04/26/2010

i think the worst thing that ever happened to me was having to live with a maniac drunk father for the first few years of my life. his abuse has made me question everything a man does, and had messed with my mind so much that i was yearning for any type of attention from a male, leading to my more promiscuous years. although my bio-dad affected me that way, i believe i would've been a lot more fucked up if it hadn't been for my step father (who i'll call dad for the rest of this conversation) whom i consider the best thing that ever happened to me (other than the obvious, hubby and kids). from his example i have learned that there are men out there who can treat women with respect and let their voices be heard, without running around the house with an axe screaming that they are going to cut your head off, demanding it from them. making them so scared, that they give you fake respect. respect that's not earned, but given out of fear. i now know thanks to my dad, that it is possible to have a child (that's not even your own) and not beat them for getting up to go to the bathroom, or for putting too much sugar on your cereal. and that it wasn't my fault or my sister or moms fault that these things happened to us, if it was, he would've done then to us as well. i know from my dad that even though my oldest childs bio-dad left him, like my bio-dad left me, i wasn't left terrified to death that my son would feel overwhelming hurt from not having a dad. i knew it possible that someone would love him, like my dad loves me.



i wuv my daddy!! :)

Suzette - posted on 04/26/2010

@Sara, You're welcome. It is pronounced Mee-nah, and thank you! I haven't heard the song Liza Jane in forever! I love the older country songs, some of the newer stuff is okay too, but I think the older stuff is better. :)

@Stephany, wow! I agree with the other ladies here, you are definitely a fighter and very strong woman!

Emma - posted on 04/26/2010

Wow Stephany
you are one hell of a fighter, im so glad your got to have your baby and really glad your survived cancer. your an inspiration in persistence and resilience.

Good Day! - posted on 04/26/2010

Wow Stephany. You are a strong woman!

Lady - posted on 04/26/2010

WOW Stephany, I never thought anyone would say that having cancer would be their best thing, glad your okay now and all the best for the next load of surgery. Your a very strong woman to have gone through everything you have and still find good, I send you a virtual hug and wish you happiness!!

Erin - posted on 04/26/2010

My best thing would be me deciding to go back to school at 30. It's been quite a ride so far. It's sometimes not easy seeing all of these young people around you but it will be worth it someday. I really don't have any worst moments, nothing tramatic or bad has really happened. Besides losing family members that I miss alot.

Stephany - posted on 04/26/2010

Hmmm....this is a hard one! Like Sara, my worst is when I lost pregnancies. We lost 5 before we had my oldest son, two of which were twins (so lost 7 babies total). Some of the pregnancies were well into the second trimester, one at the beginning of the third trimester, and each time I felt myself deflate more and more. I never thought it was possible to be so defeated, depressed, grief-stricken, hollow, and yet so driven to do one thing- have a child. Every moment of every day for several years was spent thinking about how or what I could do differently than the time before. We gave up trying after the 5th loss and decided we'd wait a few years and adopt. We conceived our oldest two weeks later, refused the medical interventions we had received with previous pregnancies, and gave birth to a happy, healthy baby boy at 36 weeks! :D
Since you stipulated that the best couldn't be having our children (and I'm going to forgo the best being that I met my husband- too easy), I would say that it was that I had cancer as a child. I was diagnosed with a Whilm's tumor in my left kidney when I was 9- a highly treatable form of childhood cancer. My kidney was removed and I underwent chemotherapy for a very long time, but I survived. Last April I started having my period constantly. I bled for several months straight before I finally got the reason- I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer with growths on both ovaries. My doctor told me that they wouldn't be able to tell what stage it was until after the hysterectomy, but she warned that constant bleeding is an end-stage symptom and she prepared me for the worst. I woke up after the surgery in the recovery room and my doctor was standing over me with the hugest smile! The chemotherapy I had undergone as a child affected my ovaries in a way that made them over-react to the cancer, so the "end-stage" symptoms I had been experiencing were misleading and I actually only had stage 2A. Surgery cured me. I'm young (I was 24 then) and without those symptoms it's likely that I wouldn't have been diagnosed until it was too late. I later found out that I have the BRCA-1 gene for breast and ovarian cancer and I'm going to have an optional double mastectomy some time in the next year. Having cancer as a child (and the subsequent treatment) saved me from dying from cancer this time around, and is going to allow me to pre-empt another cancerous invasion. Best thing that ever happened to me (besides kids and husband!).

Emma - posted on 04/26/2010

@ Sara
Yip i should of excluded hubby's to lol
Im so sorry to hear about your miscarriage but im glad to hear your doing well.

Emma - posted on 04/26/2010

@ Shannon
funny one of my best memories was in Vegas,
My dad took me for a weeks holiday for my 21st, I had great fun but the best bit was spending some time with my dad just the 2 of us, plus i love the Bellagio fountains they are so cool.

Good Day! - posted on 04/26/2010

Thanks Suzette! Her name is actually Eliza Grace but it comes out Liza or little Liza or sometimes Liza Jane (old country song). How do you pronounce Mina? Very beautiful. And thanks for the encouragement!

Suzette - posted on 04/26/2010

Sara, I have a cousin named Liza, I thought it was such an unusual name and have only heard it now twice! It's a beautiful name. =) My little girls name is going to be Mina (it's German in origin and means Love). I'm sorry to hear about your recent miscarriage... I hope you get your second little bundle of love soon!!!

Good Day! - posted on 04/26/2010

Haha, you should have probably excluded kids and husbands!

My best friend got married almost six years ago. I was a bridesmaid and standing there at the rehearsal looking at the line up of groomsmen, I counted them to figure out who would be my escort. I secretly thought, "yes! I got the cutest one!" We got married a year later! So that, in addition to accepting Christ (I sense some rolling eyeballs...lol) would be the bests.

My worst would be my recent miscarriage and struggle to get pregnant again. I'm perfectly healthy and I know it will happen when it's supposed to, but I want another baby already! Though I am more than happy with my "little 'Liza". I'm going to kiss her right now!

Suzette - posted on 04/26/2010

Let's see, the worst led to my best, like many of yours!



My worst was when my brother committed suicide in June 2006. (it's awful to say that that led to my best... but here's what happened, in a nutshell.) My mom and I both became severely depressed, I moved back home thinking I was helping her, but we wound up helping each other through severely horrible times. My grandfather then fell severely ill and I was left watching my parents home and property while they moved in with my parents. (I was there for almost an entire year alone - minus when they'd come out and take me to get groceries - I don't have a license due to my seizures.)



My husband and I had been extremely good friends for almost 5 yrs at that point, we started talking quite a bit after he got back from a tour in Korea (he's military). Unexpectedly, we fell in love and decided to get married last June. Again, unexpectedly, my grandfather died 6 days before the wedding date. (We couldn't reschedule because hubby is military and you do things when the military basically allows for leave and such. We went on with the wedding even though the wake was the day before and the funeral was scheduled for that day... it was one of the most emotional times I've ever gone through.)



I moved from Arizona to Kentucky (where my hubby is stationed) and now we're expecting our daughter in June of this year. =)

Krista - posted on 04/26/2010

Best would definitely be meeting my husband. As well, best would be when I landed my previous job, as it changed my entire career trajectory for the better. If I hadn't gotten that job, I would probably still be stuck in a call centre somewhere.

The worst thing would be when my best friend died in the Air India bombing when I was nine years old.

Lady - posted on 04/26/2010

The best thing apart from my children was definatley my husband, the worst was probably my grandad dying when I was 12. Before and after my mum and dads divorce he was the most important male in my life and his dying lead to my mums depression and mine and a whole load of other bad things happening in our lives. I still miss him to this day and am tearing up just writting this.

Shannon - posted on 04/26/2010

Wow.. I have LOTS of worsts....The entire time I lived in Vegas bad things were happening, of my own doing of course. I can't pick just one..
Best thing (since we can't choose our children) would have to be when I got my German Shepherd dog, Barley. I got him when I lived in OK 3 yrs before I moved to Vegas. I loved him so so so much. He was my best friend. He was so smart. He was my child.... He died about 5 yrs ago.. :-(

Emma - posted on 04/26/2010

My worst thing led to my best thing ....lol
I was the victim a home invasion which led to me moving to the other side of town which if i had not done i would not started to manage the bar across the road from my new place, that my now hubby frequented, and the best thing was meeting my hubby.

LaCi - posted on 04/26/2010

I don't really have a worst, anything negative that has impacted my life is irrelevant in comparison to so many others. Best is probably meeting my boyfriend, he's fantastic. ;)