BF leads to better behavour in children

Sherri - posted on 10/24/2011

I have read every single post on this thread K.

You are very much entitled to your opinion but you do not have the right to judge or put down others who do it differently then you.

K - posted on 10/24/2011

hey read some of the other posts on here if you i think i am cyber bullying

Kellie - posted on 10/24/2011

A lot of what she's spouting is false too Nicole, and I agree with the hiding behind one letter for her name comment. It's why people like her don't upset me, besides being confident in myself and my parenting, bullies have no power against me.

Nicole - posted on 10/24/2011

Kellie, I absolutely agree!!! I have seen K's posts showing up in several breastfeeding posts and, as a breastfeeding advocate and a lactation counselor, I feel that her type of comments does NOTHING for breastfeeding advocacy. Comment's like those from people like K hurt our work and force many to shut down when hearing positive things about breastfeeding.

I also find it funny that K is hiding behind anonymity by using one letter for her name and no picture. Screams "cyber bully" to me...

Kellie - posted on 10/24/2011

K is trolling Breastfeeding threads and posting nasty stuff against Formula feeding Mum's. So I wouldn't waste my feelings on being offended by her.

Good Day! - posted on 10/24/2011

Wow. K, I hope you don't find yourself in a situation in which you are forced to stop breastfeeding and give your baby formula. The fall from your pedestal is going to be hard, and it will hurt.

Sherri - posted on 10/24/2011

Has zero to do with truth or facts and everything to do with unnecessary judgments.

So I was selfish for going back to work with my first two putting them on formula because I had no where to pump for the 9hrs a day I was away from them.

I was selfish for having children knowing that I would still need to go back to work full time after they were born. Good to know that I opted to be a mom because I was selfish because my options were to never be a mom or be a mom that worked.

K - posted on 10/24/2011

They see things differently to me because they don't see( or want to see) truth or facts !!!!

Sherri - posted on 10/24/2011

Well that is your opinion and I think you are unnecessarily judgmental and it is very sad that you would judge parents as less than you because they see things or do things differently than you.

They are not bad parents, doing anything wrong and still want the same things as you do for your children at the end of the day.

There are many reasons for using formula and no they are not excuses and it isn't your business to judge them or anyone else for them.

K - posted on 10/24/2011

If people need to go back to work then maybe they should pump their milk or breast feed before and after work and bottle feed formula during the day...they had 9 months to think about this didn't they??? Personally I think if you have to work full time and have a daycare raise a 3 month old (newborn)baby then maybe it was a bad time to have that baby !!! . Babies need their parents to raise them,not strangers. (just a thought but i realize that SOMETIMES there is no choice) just as i know that occasionally there is no choice but to bottle feed,I think it is VERY occasionally though and formula is heavily over-used and so are the excuses for using it.

Sherri - posted on 10/24/2011

K - it isn't always a selfish act to bottle feed. What about parents that need to go back to work full time by 12wks. What about parents who can't breast feed. Really it is a selfless job and breast feeding vs. bottle feeding is not one of them.

K - posted on 10/24/2011

I think people who bottle feed should think VERY seriously about what they are doing..if you think of something as simple as...Babies don't have their chicken pox vaccine at birth so they have absolutely NO immunity to it !!! ...If you are around someone who has it(and you don't know because they have no spots yet)..your bottle fed bub is very likely to get it. If you are breast feeding,they are very unlikely to get it because they have your immunity. Now if you think about the suffering of a little baby with chicken pox and still think your choice to bottle feed is justified then I'm sorry but you really are selfish...you can prevent a lot of pain and suffering for your baby by breast feeding but you care more about your OWN PAIN AND SUFFERING OR CONVENIENCE...I thought parenting was supposed to be a selfless job!

K - posted on 10/24/2011

I find it kinda funny that so many people seem to KNOW that their bottle fed child has the highest IQ...Really? ...did you go get them an IQ test at 1 year old or what ??(The IQ will pretty much only be tested through a study on breast fed v bottle fed babies and children anyway) Come on,who do you think you are kidding? And i guess they have NEVER EVER EVER been sick in their whole life either !!!! Not even so much as a sniffle !!! and they are so bright they are going straight from kindy to high school !!! Soooooo over the excuses,it's the same ones over and over again and people still seem to think it's believable. No one is saying that EVERY breast fed child is healthier or smarter than a formula fed one but studies(and there are many) have shown that in GENERAL,breast fed babies have a better start in life(and a healthier future) even if you forget about everything else,you know that bottle fed babies have NO immunity...that's a no-brainer! ... obviously because breast fed babies have their mums immunity,doesn't mean all bottle fed babies will get sick but it does mean they are much more prone to getting sick. Stop getting so offended,if you really believe you have nothing to feel guilty about then why take offence to legitimate studies??? People are just stating the truth...the truth hurts though doesn't it ???? ...or even better,find some studies that find that formula is just as good as breast feeding !!!! ..oh that's right...they don't exist !

JuLeah - posted on 05/25/2011

Well, you can assume the BF baby has a mother, is held while feeding, and develops a bond as a result.
This happens too with bottle fed babies, but we also have to factor in the kid fed in hospital cause they are ill, or the kids in an over crowded day care, or the kids with a parent who sticks the bottle in, props it up with a pillow and walks away. Many other factors to consider

Amy - posted on 05/25/2011

don't get banned!!! :)

But really, I did feel awful for a long time. Even fearful when pregnant with my son that I'd have the same results. But, he just latched right on and went to town .Was a bit difficult first couple weeks, but without the docs/lcs and all that, we did it ourselves. who knew??

Love is love. Love makes us grow. Love keeps us going and love is what guides us to be well behaved and to respect others. Not what's inside a boob or a bottle. Peace, y'all.

Tah - posted on 05/25/2011

Hearing that you, Amy, and people like you were made to feel that way pisses me off. Uuurrrggguuu...I'm going to get off here for a few because if I write what I want it'll be deleted and I'll be banned....

Amy - posted on 05/25/2011

Yeah.........I'm one who got made to feel like shit. I tried two months with daughter. I even gave up pain meds after c section. Yep, screw me and my lack of dedication to trying to nurse my daughter. When told by docs and the lc nurse that it wasn't going to happen....Again to feel like a failure. Thanks to meeting people like Tah, I don't let it get to me as much. I ate like a hog, drank so much i felt flooded, took teas, herbs....oh my god, all the things i did. pumped until i was bleeding, nipple sheilds...seriously?? I guess I was a lazy mom who should have tried harder. I do regret not knowing now what I knew then. I have two smart, healthy, happy kids. One basically formula fed or bottle fed since she never latched. one strictly breastfed. both great kids and i love them.

Tah - posted on 05/24/2011

Whatever Cynthia...you sound ridiculous, judgmental, condescending, and I feel sorry for the women you harangued as a contact because your assumptions on here are based on nil and you are truly making an ass of yourself. You are going on and on and saying nothing that is of any value. If a mom wants to bottle feed just because then that is her business and has nothing to do with her level of perseverance. You don't strike me as a person with any empathy so get over yourself......btw....I breastfed all 3 of mine with relative ease and it's women like you give us breastfeeding moms a bad name because of your lack of compassion, but you have plenty of judgement to make up for that so not to worry. Who cares if a mom formula feeds her kids. Please tell me how it affects you......waiting......waiting.....waiting.....that's what I thought, it doesn't.



I would hate to know how many women you have made feel small, insecure and like failures...shame on you. I'll keep the word I wanted to type after that in my head....

Cynthia - posted on 05/24/2011

Um if you don't drink sufficient fluids to support your body's general health AND enough fluids to produce sufficient breast milk YES your milk will either not come in (how much fluids did you have to drink after you gave birth to replace bodily fluids lost during labour)
If you have hang ups about breastfeeding at all you will probably have problems breast feeding, If you have insufficient oxytocin you will not have a let down reflex, If you give up on the third or fourth day you may be a victim of baby blues and your method of coping is to bottle feed hey what ever works for you! There are LOTS of reasons that affect the ability to breast feed if your lucky you find solutions on your own, through a nurse, through an experienced mum, through a nursing group, a doctor a midwife whatever, and if you aren't lucky that way you bottle feed. you do what you have to do . But don't blame your bad luck, lack of knowledge, poor doctors whatever on those who have made a go of breastfeeding and immediately want to problem solve with you. THEY have learned persistance. you will learn persistance some other way thats just the way it goes, be glad you were born in the last 130 or so years of the advent of the bottle be glad your a person who bottle feeds because you love your child and not one who does so she can stick her children in a crib with a bottle to go do the dishes, vacuuming, laundry. YOUR child as well as most breast feeding moms all love your children enough to sit down with your child and meet its needs before meeting your own and THAT my dear is a successful parent.
I am sorry you had no one to empathise with you and be there for you at one time I was a contact in my home community for mums having trouble with breastfeed, and I was pleased to be able to help often with just a phone call. As far as I am concerned mothers should help mothers free of charge after all theres enough of us out here. I will always be thankful for the story of a professional woman who supported my efforts to nurse simply by validating my choice to nurse my children as long as THEY need it and me.

Joy - posted on 05/24/2011

I don't buy that there's any link between FF babies having more behavioral issues. I also don't buy that FF babies are doomed to have weight issues or IQ issues or attachment (with Mommy) issues either. What I do believe is that any mother who gives her baby(ies) formula, is 100% doing what SHE feels is best for her baby and for her and that it's really nobody's business.

Cynthia - posted on 05/24/2011

Good parents are good parents whether they breastfeed or bottle fed. and behavioural issues have more to do with how much previous exposure a parent has had to children previous to having their own, and to how effectively they themselves were or were not parented, a part of which especially if we were not parented well is our determination to BE better parents than our own. and if we were well parented our determination to do as good a job.

I think we are more likely to have behavoural issues if 1. our children have health issues, 2. if for some reason we feel sorry for our child/ren, 3. think parenting comes naturally (rarely) 4. if we have false expectations of our children at any of their stages of development, 5. have trouble empathising yet still holding to rules boundaries and limitations at each stage of their development (and yes I'm quote the Dog Whisperer 6. if we abdicate our role as parent,(kids need to know someone is in control (though we many not feel like it often :) ) 7. If we do not provide the necessities of life and limit the luxuries/privileges, 8. if a child never has to strive for priveliges. 9. if our child doesn't feel they are contributing to the life of the family and may thus already have a sense of entitlement or feel unneeded or unwanted.

Amanda - posted on 05/24/2011

Re the doctor who feel formula should be by prescription only, etc.

One of the biggest problems women have with breastfeeding is that there isn't really as much support as there should be. I firmly believe that if breastfeeding were looked upon as a normal thing, a good thing, a best choice thing, that women who try it would have a much easier time of things.

Daniela - posted on 05/20/2011

Well, five days and one stomach bug later and I can't even follow up because all of Morgan's posts seemed to have been deleted.
I suppose I'll just answer Tah: firstly, I didn't make a sweeping generalisation, I referred to those who had posted before me and than said that I had come across this kind of pattern in other breastfeeding threads before. Second, 'no one has a problem with posts breastfeeding...' is not a sweeping generalisation? Third, please don't compare me to a 'breastfeeding nazi' (kind of offensive term by the way), I am happily located in the middle, which is why this is pissing me of so much. If others were coming on here saying 'See, this is why MY child behaves sooo much better than all the others' I'd find it just as annoying.
Also: 'Studies like this just add to the pressure on these moms...'. Yet again, no one does any study on anything to make anyone feel bad. We study things because we are curious about them or because they are important. Fair enough, I picked a bad one for my vent, as the article was more than vague on pretty much everything, but that's not the point. Knowledge is power, but it can be uncomfortable or hurtful. Do you really think that formula companies don't pay very close intention to studies like that, in order to improve their product and then advertise it accordingly. How is this a bad thing?
Anyhow, if you hadn't gotten so hung up on my last line, you might have noticed that I was actually agreeing with you and did put it down to parenting.
I just wish at least once in a while we could talk about something like this without all the anecdotal 'But I did this hence this is all nonsense' kind of crap. It'll be kind of refreshing...

Amy - posted on 05/19/2011

yep. pretty much silly study. it's parenting. I thought that's what i was saying. shit, maybe not. lol.

Tah - posted on 05/19/2011

Amy, I think it's crap. When I had tavier and was breastfeeding, I had to go back to school, so I pumped and when he went with his aunt or his father, he had bottles of breast milk. Now, I know women who stay home and breast feed and their kids are rotten, IMO it has to do parenting..point, blank, period. We can all say we know this one or that one, but the truth of the matter is that studies like these are one sided and give people what they think is a leg to stand on as they tear others down.

Toni - posted on 05/19/2011

Wow that is some stereotyping Morgan, I know several women who have chosen to FF without trying BF with some of their children (or all in the case of only children) but they still engage their child and discipline them and spend time with their child. I really don't think your stereotyping is right at all.

Amy - posted on 05/19/2011

I do have some relatives who chose to formula feed simply because they could toss the baby and go off and drink and party. Yeah, more to do with parenting than bottle vs breast.

I tried like MAD with my daughter. So many factors contributed to bottle feeding. NICU stay/hole in heart/c section/inverted nipples/docs and LCs telling me to throw in the towel. I stayed at home with her. She was bottle fed. I understand that some women take two days and go...eh, screw this, toss a bottle. But holy cow was that horrendous..."Trying" and not succeeding and then made to feel beyond awful about it all.

I don't think it matters if you bottle or breast feed. Make choices that are best and as long as the parenting is there, should see good behavior. Even then, that's not always the case.

I do understand what morgan is saying about how some kids who just happen to be on formula get tossed anywhere and everywhere and it's difficult for them to get down the groundrules of life with so many rules from so many different people as opposed to one solid caregiver [be it a relative, parent or a daycare where it's consistent with parents' views].

And not all formulas are equal. Do they consider this behavior starting age 1-12 when most kids are on formula? Don't get me wrong, breastfeed as long as you want, but formula is expensive and we got off that ASAP. Is there really a BAD behaved child under a year old? Not usually. under a year they cry because they are hungry, ouchy, pooped or uncomfortable. So.....? conclusion: silly study.

Tah - posted on 05/19/2011

I think I'm officially disappointed in humanity..

Tah - posted on 05/19/2011

By George I think Ive got it...see, I was sitting here trying to figure out why it's so easy for people to assume things..even though we know what happens when you assume, why would anyone assume that people who bottle feed don't care as much about their children...why do think they are just doing what's easier for them and assuming they are selfish...and it struck me.....they are so condescending and judgmental because they are insecure in some area of their life. So what do insecure people do?.....well misery loves company and they pick issues such as how you feed your kids....and they say anything they can to make moms, whom they could be supporting and encouraging, and rip them to shreds. They make them feel like their way is wrong and their kids will be some unruly, sickly, menacing kids all because she chose to do what was easier for here..which is crap by the way and something someone which limited exposure to life would say, so that she can feel superior to someone...that has to be it. I don't see any other reason why someone would knowingly say offensive things in such a sensitive subject, especially when in all actuality, it's no ones flipping business how you feed your child and why you chose that method. I guess for some people, encouragement for people whom love their children just as much as anyone else, no matter their Childs milk comes from is too much to ask.....

Tah - posted on 05/19/2011

Well, very judgemental and one sided, And if you know moms that bottle feed because it's easiest your experience is probably very limited. I thought that is what you were trying to get across, but I was sure hoping you weren't one of those moms who make people who bottle feed feel like they are selfish and don't care about their kids..but alas.....I was wrong and am disappointed...but hey I thought I'd sleep after getting off work this morning, but the window guy came just as I was dozing off..hey, neither of you knew any better I guess....

Tah - posted on 05/19/2011

Morgan...I'm not understanding..clarify please....

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 05/18/2011

So what's wrong with my still BF 2 year old "spirited" child? lol I think (most) people are well aware of the benefits of breastfeeding. What we need is a better support system to help moms reach their breastfeeding goals.

Kellie - posted on 05/16/2011

THANKS Tah!

Amy - posted on 05/16/2011

i love you, tah. sniff.

Tah - posted on 05/16/2011

Well firstly Daniella...Noone has a problem with post with breastfeeding in it...that's ridiculous, also to say it's those who have had trouble is a sweeping generalization and insensitive which proves my point. I had no problem breastfeeding..made milk, babies latched on, pumped milk..heck, leaked milk. Don't know if you've read some of the bf debates and conversations in different communities lately with bf Nazis telling women how formula should have to be prescribed, they should have to present a valid reason, how if you bottlefeed you are selfish and if you had trouble you just didn't try hard enough....it's simple minded and insensitive and it makes mother's, by their own accounts, feel pressured to do it and like failures if they don't or just don't care to.



Studies like this just add to the pressure on these moms and make them feel worse when what they need is support, when I hear how some of these moms are belittled, judged, torn down,condemned and how they sit up crying and pumping for hours on end to feed a baby who is crying while hungry because some article like this or insensitive asshat(thanks amie t) who reads these articles made them feel like dirt it pisses me off and I'll come to any discussion, debate or family dinner with their mom, aunt, cousin or friend they invite me to to defend it, and encourage them....

Kaleigh - posted on 05/15/2011

Yeah my son was BF and then bottle fed...and he's my little dr.jekyl mr.hyde so there ya have it lol

Amy - posted on 05/15/2011

judging by my kids tonight, i'd say it's true. lol. But really, i think people pull whatever statistics they want out to prove their ideas and cases. Good parenting creates good behavior.

Krista - posted on 05/15/2011

My son was bottle fed and he's a VERY well behaved child and he's nearly 4. He says excuse me, please and thank you, doesn't push and does what he's asked.

My daughter was breast fed and is equally as mild mannered as her brother, although she's only 10 months old. I really don't think how you feed them has anything to do with their demeanor. I believe it's how you raise them and how young you start at attempting discipline. At 10 months old, my daughter is already forming a good grasp of the word "no".

Rosie - posted on 05/14/2011

i have trouble believing ANY study regarding the benefits of breastfeeding after finding out they don't control them carefully or at all. or even claim breastfeeding has benefits of your child not dying, when some of the means of death in these "studies" were injuries. formula feeding causes your kid to fall off a table?? ok....

Daniela - posted on 05/13/2011

Ah well, I said this before, but I'll just give it another shot. Why are those of you who had trouble breastfeeding forever so bitchy about every single post that as much as has the word 'breastfeeding' in it. The research did not say that YOU don't bond properly with your child or that YOU will have a child with behavioural issues. And even if you did, it could also be one of the children who have such issues regardless of feeding practices. No one does research to have a go at formula feeding mothers, like no one does research into the effects of daycare to have a go at working moms (like myself) or research into the effects of TV exposure, just to make you feel rotten every time you turn the telly on. I'm sure you all spend great quality time with your babies and have a close bond. But if it's about the time you spend with your baby and possibly the skin-to-skin contact - you just don't have a choice in the matter as a breastfeeding mother. Honestly, I sometimes think that's a total pain, like when I want to prepare dinner or am in the middle of cleaning the bathroom. I have more than once seen people prop a babies bottle though and leave them to it by themselves. Then there are moms who will hold the baby as if they were nursing. There is just a much broader spectrum of how you can feed/hold your baby and how much time you spend in such close contact. If I'd venture a guess I'd think that's what probably makes up the difference. So if you don't prop your baby's bottle, plonk it in the corner and walk off, why are you all so offended? And even if one day someone finds out beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is some component in breastmilk that has this kind of effect, than that's just the way it is. ALL moms get it in the neck once in a while because of all sorts of shit and formula-feeding moms are by no means a persecuted minority, so PLEASE stop acting like one. It's getting old.

Alison - posted on 05/13/2011

I've heard this as well, but don't know if there's anything to it. I BF my and there does seem to be a bit more of a connection between him and I than friends who went directly to formula. Who knows? There are some who cannot BF for medical reasons though.. so I don't know that it's neccessarily fair to say that they may have behavioral problems b/c they couldn't. Hard to say! :)

Candi - posted on 05/13/2011

yeah that whole "better behaved child" went out the window with mine a looong time ago. lol. My older two are pre teens. There is no good behavior with that age. haha

Kellie - posted on 05/13/2011

well you'd have a FF baby, but a BETTER (according to all the info out there) one as she still got Breast Milk so a better behaved child for you looooool!

Candi - posted on 05/13/2011

My middle child couldn't latch on, so I had to pump. She still got breast milk, but from a bottle..so what statistic would I fall under?

Kellie - posted on 05/13/2011

IMO that implies a compromised bond with FF babies. It is also is another stab at those who FF their babies.
I managed her on the boob for 4 days until they decided to not work, I don't see or feel that I had/have anymore or any less interaction with her either way, except the action of her suckling from my nipple rather than a teat from her bottle.

Brandi - posted on 05/13/2011

I don't think the article said that FF moms get a compromised bond with their children. It simply stated there is more interaction. I get that.

But there are too many other factors, imo. How long were the BF children nursing? Their socioeconomic status is another big one. This is probably just one study that means nothing.

Jennifer - posted on 05/12/2011

There is this lady whom I told I was still breastfeeding (because they had all forgotten that I was on the exclusive bf package only because they couldn't cover the brand of formula I was using for my child because my child started reacting to the one they do cover) and it was hysterical. HERE's something for a BF article! Keep in mind that this is for my younger daughter who has been growing like a weed since she was born, and 98% (just pulling a number out of my butt) of people think she's older when they ask me how old she is because she's big for her age. I made a comment to her about how big my daughter is and she said, "Yes, you know, you can spot a breast fed baby from across the room!" I had to do my best to keep a straight face and ask (as sincerely as I could muster), "Really?" What I was really thinking was, "Really? Well, then, you sure can't spot them when they're right next to you!"
I didn't even bother to read the article lol. At first I thought BF stood for Boyfriend hahahaha. Because of the benefits of the breast milk I wanted to bf so my children would get the antibodies, but I also bottle fed because breast milk is just not enough! With my first born I bf shorter than my younger one (which I think was bf maybe 1 1/2 months or so) because one day I was laying there for 20 minutes getting absolutely nothing accomplished except for feeding her, even switched sides, and when the feeding was done I got up and five minutes later she was hungry again! That was the day I gave up with my first daughter lol. My second daughter was a lot easier, although I alternated bf and bottle feeding. I'm a single parent the second time around (with no one but the kids and myself living here) so the last thing I had time for was laying around for 20 minutes and being free for 5!

Sherri - posted on 05/11/2011

Good Lord!!!!!!

Candi - posted on 05/11/2011

when my milk dried up with my second child, a friend told me to drink water. I said "its not formula where you just add water and its there!" I lost weight so fast, my milk was the first thing to go. Some people just don't get it. I BF all 3 of mine, but when the milk ran out, we had no choice but to switch to formula. For those who are able to breastfeed for a year, kudos to them. I couldn't do it. For those who choose to formula feed, kudos to you too. Its all about nurturing your child and taking care of them. I was bottlefed, along with my brother and sister even though my mom had to be BF due to illness, so she knew the benefits. To me, it is a personal choice and the parents get to decide which method to use. When my 3rd was born, the nurse came in the room and yelled at me saying I was BFing my daughter the wrong way. I said "how? Sshe said "You should pull your gown down in the front instead of covering your baby. Ok so just let my junk hang out for the world to see? NO thanks. I could see her just fine! Some people

Stephanie - posted on 05/11/2011

Does it really matter as long as your child is fed nutritious food designed to help them grow whether by nature or science? I bf all three of my kids but the one who could only be bf for three months has the highest IQ so guess formula didn't rot his brain after all... hmmmm and by the way he is the oldest, I didn't just give up an ignorant physician told me I needed to wean him when I ran fever after a tetanus shot... So many women bend over backwards because of zealots on their BF crusade... please! Just feed your baby and be happy- a stressed out mom is way worse then formula for a baby. Did they test to see if these bf children had any other factors in common or just say 'yep it has to be the breast milk!'