Bikini, short skirts and low tops.....

Emma - posted on 04/22/2010 ( 23 moms have responded )

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This is a follow on from Gillians pole dancing thread as it seams to be an issue worth discussing.

Sad to say there are still men and woman out there who think a woman wearing a short skirt , Bikini, or low cut top is an invitation for sex more often Rape.
Read the article below .

http://www.algeria.com/forums/world-dans...

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LaCi - posted on 04/23/2010

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Yeah, sending the wrong message to men who were raised to think women shouldn't show any skin.

Lyndsay - posted on 04/23/2010

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You know, I feel bad for her. Really I do. But honestly, if you know that you are not living in the most civilized or safe community, how can you even think that riding a taxi looking like a streetwalker is a good idea? I think it comes down to stupidity or ignorance on her part.

Krista - posted on 04/23/2010

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Feh. Nuns have been raped. Old women have been raped. Babies have been raped. Men have been raped.

Rape isn't about sexual desire. It is about the rapist feeling powerless and angry and deciding to subjugate someone who he sees as weaker than himself, in an attempt to regain that power. Sometimes, a man will hit on a woman he desires, and if rejected, will become angry and will decide to "show her" by raping her. So it's not about desire anymore at that point -- it's about anger and subjugation; about wanting to assert control and power over another human being. And it could have happened even if the woman had been dressed in a turtleneck and floor-length skirt.

(I use "he" simply because most rapists are men, but there are female rapists out there too.)

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I don't think wearing such clothin is an invitation to rape but it certainly does give a certain impression to men - that you are probably easy. Obviously that isn't always true but that's the perception most of the time.

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Saying that wearing skimpy clothes is an invitation for rape is really insulting to men. It's saying men have no self control.

Anyone who says that woman was asking for it is just looking for an excuse. A pitiful one.

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Jessica - posted on 04/25/2010

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lol I think everyone gets like that. Patriotism is kind of like a little sibling, you can pick on all you want, but when someone else picks on them, you want to kick there butt! lol :)

Yea, I would not want to be dealing with alot of that stuff you mentioned above, scaryness, but I would love one day to visit the beautiful sides of SA. :)

Emma - posted on 04/25/2010

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@ Jessica

No Offence taken at all...

South Africa dose have its Dark side don't get me wrong, and crime is always on our mind.

Yes SA is at the moment a bit of a hot bed due to to main things at the mo our ANC youth league president, is Pushing to get SA to follow Zims political and economic policies, which is a scary thought made scarer by the fact he has support.

And the recent murder of Far right leader Eugene Terre'blanche, a nasty piece of work himself,

We do have a stunning country sadly being pulled to pieces by idiot's spoiling for a fight.

LOL

Im the first to bitch about our problems yet suddenly get all patriotic when anyone else says anything lol

I also know how SA looks to the outside world i lived overseas for many years so your comments where based on that view.

LaCi - posted on 04/24/2010

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Off topic: Regarding the traditional clothing- I would SO rather wear that than a boring denim skirt lol. So pretty.

I still think the rape is because of women's equality, and men feeling emasculated desperate to regain their authority/power. It has nothing to do with barbaric culture, it's just a power struggle between the sexes. It's still a fresh change for people, not to excuse it, it's still very wrong. I just think it's more political than "savage". Rape with political roots is a problem all over the world.

Jessica - posted on 04/24/2010

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Hey Emma! I'm sorry if I offended you, wasn't meant to. I'm only going on what I have read and from the few people I have met that have moved to Canada from SA. My moms friend lives somewhere in SA where right now she is terrified for her life and families life on a daily basis..some kind of revolt going on??

As for the rape "cure" - again, was only going on what I'd been told from a South African family that I know here. They said they love SA, it is there home and it is beautiful, just not a safe place to be. ( at least from whatever part they were from )

Anyways, sorry again if I upset you, never meant to! :)

Emma - posted on 04/24/2010

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Ok i just need to clear a couple things up regarding SA.
1# Our health minister made no statement saying having sex with a virgin would cure HIV or AIDS. Yes this has sadly been spread around but it is thought to of come from some disreputable SANGOMA's (Traditional Healers) but there is no real evidence to substantiate this.
2# the clothes the young woman was wearing where not what i would call sexy she was wearing a denim skirt and a shirt, like many south African women do when its hot. Causal day where.
3# It should be noted that the traditional clothing for that area is considerably more revealing than what the woman had on http://purplegables.files.wordpress.com/... (just an exampled)
4# We do not have a barbaric country or culture, SA has become a hot spot for Rape over the last decade or so much to most of the country horror. the cause of which is still eluding us.

Charlie - posted on 04/23/2010

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@Christina
"I can't say it's entirely the attackers fault"

WOW , just wow !!

That comment is one of an enabler , a validater , one of the minority who give these perverts permission to attack because deep down you agree with their point of view , actually scratch that its not so deep down as the pole dancing thread has shown and your comments here .

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those skirts arent even that short... wow... if i were them id have a handgun hidden underneath my skirt to protect myself... im glad i live in america with my short shorts bikinis and mini skirts are pretty normal... this is so sad about these girls...

Rosie - posted on 04/23/2010

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seriously when i think of rape, sex doesn't seem to be a part of it. i think that if a man were to climb into my bedroom window, how would my clothing affect anything? my flannel jammies sure are sexy?! whatever. clothing as an excuse for rape is a concept that is completely offbase. like sara said it is completely insulting to men, insinuating that they're drooling, uncontrollable baboons who can't resist that bikini. eye roll and sigh.

Krista - posted on 04/23/2010

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I know, Jessica. It's incredibly depressing. They're raping INFANT girls, because they think that will cure AIDS.

If there is a Hell, it better be big, because there are a lot of people going there.

Jessica - posted on 04/23/2010

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As said above by many, Rape is more about the power then sex, and in SA in some cases it's about sheer stupidity. I don't remember exactly the details but there health minister or something told the population that the cure for Aids was to sleep with a virgin and rape skyrocketed...when they were not cured they were told, she must not have been a virgin and so the victims became younger. It's absolutly insane...
Yes, some girls choose to dress like prosta-tots, just yesterday I was in the mall with my hubby and he couldn't believe this chick on the escalator in front of us who had a great body but skirt was so short you could see her ass cheeks. He turned to me and said " wow, she just screams "i'm easy" with the way she is dressed." and maybe that is true, but in no way, shape or form, if someone chose to rape her, would it actually be her fault.
Also, just a thought for the women who think we should all be dressed in an un-sexy manner without the possibility of tempting a mans eye in public...do you live in frumpy unshaped, unattractive clothes all the time ur hubby isnt around, with no make up and bad hair? Cause unless you do, your sort of a hypocrite.... and if you argue back that no, you don't dress in that manner, you do ur hair nice and wear nice clothes and make up because it makes you feel good about yourself....did you ever stop to think that maybe thats all other women are doing to and it has nothing to do with trying to get a guy down there pants?? - Just a thought....

April - posted on 04/23/2010

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i don't believe that how you dress can be an open invitation for rape. i think i actually read somewhere that women who don't wear suggestive clothing were just as likely (or even more likely to be raped) . often, rape isn't about sex...it's about power/control.

Emma - posted on 04/23/2010

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@Christina

"I can't say it's entirely the attackers fault"

Are you joking yes it is entirely the attackers fault.... No one made those men pull the woman out of the taxi and strip her then sexually assault her its a lode,

If they are incalculable of controlling themselves they need to be locked up,

there are no circumstance that warrants this disgusting behaviour even if the woman was naked !!!

Belinda - posted on 04/23/2010

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Rape is about power. Rapists often look for the woman who looks insecure or is an easy target. So the chick in the sweats with her hair ina ponytail and her head down can be more of a target than the girl in the mini skirt.

As for mini's....there is an age limit!!!!

C. - posted on 04/23/2010

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@Emma.. I don't believe that women are "asking for it" if they wear certain clothes, but I agree with Jennifer.. It does send out the wrong message when women wear things like that.. I can't say it's entirely the attackers fault. I'm not saying the victim deserved it.. They definitely did not deserve it.. But it does send out the message that a man can get what he wants and they do often try when they are enticed.

LaCi - posted on 04/23/2010

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"she was askin for it... she was wearing a tight bathrobe..." -George Carlin.



There will always be people who try to blame the victim. its very unfortunate. I think the fact that the women's movement is so recent is the main reason for it. The men feel threatened by the empowerment of women and want to show their dominance in some other way. If they aren't used to being seen as equals, the recent equality will make them feel as though they have somehow become inferior/emasculated. With time it will, hopefully, get better.

Amanda - posted on 04/23/2010

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That is insane!! I can't believe those things happened to women/girls just for wearing skirts, or in one just a pair of pants!! I wear jeans everyday.
I don't see the problem with wearing any clothes you want to. When I was skinny and felt okay with my body, I wore short shorts and skirts with sports bras or just wifebeaters/small shirts of some type. I remember one day a lady honked at me and told me to put some effing clothes on, and it was almost always a woman that had a problem with what i was wearing. I'm not going to say that men didn't honk at me on my way to work, but that's not my poroblem. I can't make guys not look, and it's not my problem that they felt like doing so. I wasn't wearing it for the sole purpose of getting attention(athough I'm not gonna lie, when someone tells you you look good*not honking* it does give you a lil boost). Usually I was on my way to work and it was just plain hot out and I had to walk and didn't want to stink like crazy by the time I got there(we had to wear black/khaki pants and a collared white shirt). Now that I'm bigger I don't wear any of that stuff, because I just don't feel comfortable doing it, but I think that's horrible that people are so quick to judge your character based on what you are wearing. I've definately gone into a store with pajamas on before, does that mean I'm a lazy slob? lol... I've worn pretty much every kind of outfit you can, pajamas, jeans and a shirt, skirt with a sports bra, dresses, whatever. I'm happily married and I don't want to have sex with anyone's husband, or a single guy for that matter.

Charlie - posted on 04/23/2010

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Men and women who think that wearing certain clothes is an invitation are quiet frankly sick in the head and have obvious sexual issues they need to deal with .

Jessica - posted on 04/22/2010

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From everything I have learnt recently from my moms friend who lives in SA, it's not an overly safe place to begin with....scary shit! No matter how you dress- there is no such thing as an "invitation" to rape and anyone who thinks otherwise is off there freaking rocker.

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