Breastfeeding another woman's child: the modern wet nurse

Sapphire - posted on 10/16/2010

OK, I'm back after a very loooong week at work....but I was thinking about this thread. Every mother has their own comfort level of what they feel is right or wrong for their baby. Thankfully, I am past baby making and even in the event of an ooops baby, I highly doubt my body would produce enough for the first three months, if that. But no one in my peer group is a nursing mom. I *may* consider trying donated milk if it was from a very close friend. Yes, I do know that breast milk is better than formula. But I also know from first hand expereince that is was formula that was a primary source of nutrition for my son and his weight gain/growth. My milk couldn;t provide for him. But *if*, and I say *if* because I have no lactating friends there was an opportunity for donated milk, I may try it. But from a stranger, NO. I just couldn't do it. But as always, even if I don't agree with another parenting decision, I have to respect that decision as long as a baby is happy, healthy, and safe.

Juliette - posted on 10/15/2010

I would have loved for this to be in my reach becuase I think breastfeeding for first year is the best. I dried out with my two youngest and ended up just stopping shortly after a couple weeks. If I had known about wet-nurses I would have been completely content to having someone breastfeed my children. I think its for the best to the baby. *smile

Jennifer - posted on 10/15/2010

I live in the UK and have never heard of anyone being one or using one that's all and what people consider natural is totally personal. Some people consider homosexuality unnatural but others don't =]



To those who want to do it fair dos, it's their choice no one elses!

Charlie - posted on 10/15/2010

My ex boss was a wet nurse and we are Australian !

Jennifer - posted on 10/15/2010

The thing is strictly spekaing the act of breastfeeding another persons child is to most people unnatural. It is something that mother and baby do. Yes in poor countries it still goes on more for necessity and to save babies from dying but living in a developed country I wouldn't consider wet nursing for any of my children, and tbh I'd be highly surprised if anyone even mentioned it where I live.

Erin - posted on 10/15/2010

I can understand concerns for the health of the mother supplying the milk, but that is totally different to thinking the act of BFing another mother's child is gross. I would not let just anyone BF my baby, but if it was a close friend or family member I would have no hesitation.

Stasia - posted on 10/15/2010

What about Hepatitis and AIDS etc? If the milk is properly screened and from a bank, but would you be willing to trust only another woman's word? Someone may not even know they have been infected with a disease yet.
Just curious. Cows milk, however unnatural it is, is culturally accepted so it makes sense that Sherri would feel okay about cows milk.
I wouldn't feel comfortable giving my child unscreened milk unless the circumstances were extreme

Teresa - posted on 10/14/2010

My son eats veggies.... gqtm.... ;)

But yeah, I agree w/ you. :)

Jodi - posted on 10/14/2010

Well, I'm just going to say that if you breast feed your baby until they are 2 (or wet nurse them until they are 2) and then feed them crap for the rest of their lives, the breastfeeding part is going to mean shit anyway. It's all realtive really. I know people who breastfed whose children now never eat their vegetables.....you can't tell me that because those children were breastfed, they were healthier than the formula fed ones who do eat their vegetables. So I really don't see why we get our knickers in a twist over how other people choose to feed their babies, when, once you balance out all of the parenting decisions you make in your child's life, there is a possibility it ultimately won't make them any different to the next kid.

Jennifer - posted on 10/14/2010

As far as I know here in the UK milk banks are mainly used for premature babies and the milk is donated by other women obviously lol. Other than that I know of no milk banks where you can buy milk for your baby. I couldn't breastfeed and whilst I wouldn't want someone else feeding my baby if there had been a milk bank where I could get milk for a similar price to formula I may have used it, I might not have used it. There's formula fed babies who have more infections some don't, the same goes for breastfed babies. Also the method of feeding is not the be all and end all - in school you wouldn't be able to pick out who had been breast or formula fed.

Dana - posted on 10/14/2010

Oh, I'm over it. I also am not insane enough to think you were talking to me every time. ;) I just thought I'd turn the tables.

Sherri - posted on 10/14/2010

Dana I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT 10 X'S IF PEOPLE DIDN'T KEEP ASKING ME THE SAME QUESTION 10X'S!!! Yes I am yelling because directly wasn't talking to you was answering the others questions!! Sorry if you don't like my answer, you will get over it!!

Stifler's - posted on 10/14/2010

Whatever. Lactose intolerance, allergy to cows milk, they're all a pain in the arse.

Minnie - posted on 10/14/2010

For confirmation, humans can be allergic to the bovine proteins in cow's milk. They are not allergic to the lactose. Galactosemia is a very rare condition that occurs in infants.



For those of you saying that formula is strictly regulated- are you serious? Formula is NOT strictly regulated. The formula itself is not tested by the FDA for nutritional quality. Powdered formula is known to contain spores of enterobacter sakazakii. The first ingredient on the list on a can of Similac is high fructose corn syrup. And, like others have mentioned, that milk is coming from a cow. That was pumped full of antibiotics and growth hormones and probably stands in its feces all day long.



I simply cannot for the life of me understand why someone would rather give that to their child instead of milk from a close friend or relative whom they knew was healthy. I'll accept that the reasoning for that isn't logical, however. Sometimes we don't know why we feel a certain way and it's probably a product of culture.

Jodi - posted on 10/13/2010

Here is a reference for your information.
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTo...

Jodi - posted on 10/13/2010

Firstly, lactose intolerance is not an allergy. They are two different things. Secondly, just as many breastfed babies have an intolerance as formula fed. It is not a condition *caused* by drinking cow's milk.

Stifler's - posted on 10/13/2010

A hell of a lot less people are allergic to human milk.

Erin - posted on 10/13/2010

I can understand a mother being uncomfortable with someone else feeding their child in regards to feelings of jealousy or resentment etc. I get that. What I don't get is the idea that human breast milk is gross or creepy or however else you want to describe it, but feeding them cow's milk isn't. Strange...

Jodi - posted on 10/13/2010

Emma, lactose is lactose is lactose. It is the sugar that is in milk in ALL mammals. It is not exclusive to any particular animal. Breastfed babies CAN be lactose intolerant. Intolerance to cows milk only is not about lactose intolerance, it is an allergy or intolerance to the protein in cows milk. It is often confused with lactose intolerance but is not the same thing.

Stifler's - posted on 10/13/2010

Yeah... human lactose.

Jodi - posted on 10/13/2010

Um, Emma, there is lactose in human milk too.....

Stifler's - posted on 10/13/2010

My point is that cows milk is a cow's bodily fluids too. Made for baby cows, hence why so many humans are lactose intolerant. I don't understand how one is more gross than the other.

Kelina - posted on 10/13/2010

It's funny you should bring that up actually. Have you ever read the ingredient list on formula? What about the other thigns we feed our kids? Lol I remember reading the ingredient list off a hotdog package when I was about ten. they could never figure out why I wouldn't eat hotdogs that summer.....I can definitely understand your aversion to it when you put it like that. i think it's a little different when formula, even though it's from cows and turned into powder, is probably 90% of the time the second recommended food of choice for infants, rather than milk from milk banks. Also you make a good point in you don't know what is going into that womans body. You may not know what's going into a cows body, but at least the stuff that comes in a can has to go through strict testing and requirements and they have to say whats in there on the can. I can also understand being wary of the testing done on milk from other women, mainly though because I haven't done the research on the types of testing that is done on the milk or on how accurate that testing is.

Dana - posted on 10/13/2010

Hey Sherri, do you think you can say it's GROSS one more time FFS, we don't get it....

Just so you know, your reasoning is GROSS and is making my stomach turn!

Sherri - posted on 10/13/2010

And I am okay with that cows milk to me is fine. I don't agree that breast milk from another woman is better for my child then formula. That is where we disagree.

Really it is simple ladies I think it is GROSS!! I thought of another woman breast feeding my child by boob or pumping it in a bottle makes my stomach turn. Why I don't know I can't explain it. It is simply how I feel.

Charlie - posted on 10/13/2010

Ok but cows milk doesnt come from you thats what people are not understanding about your stance on this topic , not only is it not your milk its not even human , the fact is breast milk from another woman IS better than formula its the second best alternitive to breastfeeding your child after Expressed milk from yourself .



I dont mean to be rude but it seems hypocrytical , in the end it doesnt really matter as long as a child is fed , i only bring this up as a point of confusion in this debate .



I actually have no problem with formula just to be clear .

Sherri - posted on 10/13/2010

I just don't feel a need for it. I find it gross. If someone else thinks it is better for there child then that is great, I personally don't. If it does not come from me then I don't want it anywhere near my child. I understand that but I don't want someone else's bodily fluids going into my child.

I don't know what the difference is. I just find it gross and really that is it. I don't like it. Why do you not like certain things you don't like? But honestly I think formula is perfectly find vs. breast milk so I do not have a problem feeding my child formula either. However, I would never put something in my childs body when I don't know what they are putting in there's. I have never gone out in public not prepared anyways so honestly this issue would never even be an issue.

Good Day! - posted on 10/13/2010

Sherri, I think what people are getting at is that you wouldn't accept donated milk either, which is fine, your choice.

The comparison I see people making is donated milk from a woman's tit vs. formula in a can from a cow's tit.

Just to be clear, milk from a milk bank has been tested and is free and clear of all disease. I don't understand having an issue with that. What's the difference between that and formula made from cow's milk that has been through a process? (Except that it's been proven that milk from another mother is always better than formula, but we'll leave that out of the comparison for now)

But I can *understand* this issue of accepting milk when it hasn't been through a testing process. And this issue of actually wet nursing. I can understand someone's aversion to that, though I personally would do it in a heartbeat.

Sherri - posted on 10/13/2010

It just isn't the same to me Emma. It is completely different I would never have my child suck off the teet of a cow and I don't want my child sucking off another woman's nipple either.

Stifler's - posted on 10/13/2010

I live in Australia and there's no norm I guess, heaps breastfeed and heaps formula and no one has the right to say anything about it. I just wanted to know why Sherri was against it and it was gross when cow milk is the same.

Karen - posted on 10/13/2010

I would nurse another child and allow my child to be nursed if it was necessary. I can imagine the feeling of panic I would have if I was unable to nurse my baby and the feeling of relief knowing she would still be bfing if a friend/family member offered. I think I would only be comfortable with it in desperate situations - not just for kicks. But who knows, I've never been in that situation, so I really can't say.

Minnie - posted on 10/13/2010

See, this is what I was talking about in the other thread, Sherri. You and I live in the same state. And here there are at least five LLL Groups within a 20 mile radius. I've seen plenty of mothers nursing in public, and I regularly nurse my two year old at the restaraunt table and while walking around shopping and I've never received a dirty look EVER. So that confuses me.

Kelina - posted on 10/13/2010

I think it probably varies from community to community. As far as i'm aware 40 years ago it was the latest trend for doctors to recommend formula rather than breastmilk, at least that's what i've been told by my mom and MIL. It will be interesting to see what happens once the new baby is here as I live in a different community than I did when I had my son and this community has a LOT of over 65's!

Kate CP - posted on 10/13/2010

I have, too. When traveling in New England I saw lots of moms wearing and nursing their babies and the babies were obviously older than 3 months.

Dana - posted on 10/13/2010

Why yes, obviously.

Sherri - posted on 10/13/2010

Do you have a different experience on the East Coast Dana?

Dana - posted on 10/13/2010

Sherri, you can't just deem the whole East Coast as being close minded. It's not true and it give a false impression of the United States.

Dana - posted on 10/13/2010

I see nothing wrong with it. People give their babies formula, which is not their breast milk... Unless it's soy formula it's milk from a cow.

Sherri - posted on 10/13/2010

@Cassie I do apologize if I offended anyone it wasn't necessarily my intention but I maybe could have worded it better. It was simply my first reaction and I typed it as I thought it. Sometimes a problem with opening my mouth before I edit what I say to be more tactful.

Sherri - posted on 10/13/2010

East Coast. Breastfeeding is done for infants here but usually it is not done very openly and almost all moms stop completely by 3mo's. People here are shocked and some even taken back if you breastfeed longer than that. Now am I saying it is right no, but it is the case here. I was actually shocked this past weekend when I was talking to my sister in law who was breastfeeding my niece very successfully and had switched her over to formula a few weeks ago because she just wasn't comfortable with it any longer. My niece just turned 4mo's.

I really have no idea what the reasoning is and why the East Coast is different then in some of the other sections of the US. It has been this way here for a very long time. My mom stated that it wasn't the norm even back 40yrs ago. She said she was made more comfortable to bottle feed my brother and I as well and I am 38 & my brother is 34. So this isn't a new thing here either.

Cassie - posted on 10/13/2010

I think some people are defensive against Sherri's posts versus the others who posted that they wouldn't be comfortable because Sherri talks about the idea making her gag.... somewhat offensive in itself if you ask me.

Minnie - posted on 10/13/2010

Sherri, give me a hint, do you live up north or in the south of the state? I'm just trying to compute how breastfeeding is 'barely accepted' here.

Erin - posted on 10/13/2010

It's a boob. Boobs make milk. Babies drink breastmilk. I really don't see the big deal. So yes, I would BF a friend's child and vice versa.

Toni - posted on 10/13/2010

I was thinking the same Kelina, lets give Sherri a break hey guys. There are others who have said they would be uncomfortable with another woman bf their children and it is not in our comfort zones, Sherri is not comfortable with another woman bf HER children. I am not comfortable with another person bf MY son but if that was the only thing available and my child was really hungry I would allow it as I'm sure Sherri would (we don't want our children to starve). However, if there was formula available I would ALWAYS give my son formula over another womans breast milk because I am more comfortable with this and I know how his body reacts to his formula.

Kelina - posted on 10/12/2010

Ladies lets be nice! EVeryones entitled to their opinions and beliefs, and sherry obviously has hers on this subject. we may not necessarily agree with it, but she's entitled to it.

Stifler's - posted on 10/12/2010

But you said you wouldn't accept pumped milk either didn't you?

Kate CP - posted on 10/12/2010

No, because I personally couldn't stand to live in an area where breast feeding is barely accepted.

Sherri - posted on 10/12/2010

Why because we disagree about this?

Kate CP - posted on 10/12/2010

Well, Sherri, if I were you I'd move then.

Sherri - posted on 10/12/2010

I am not shoving the cow's teet in my child's mouth I am certainly not going to shove another woman's nipple in my child's mouth. I think it is not right.

As I said I think it is a total cultural thing that would not be okay here. Breastfeeding is barely accepted here.