Dad Rages at Bullies on School Bus!

[deleted account] ( 77 moms have responded )

It's ridiculous that a father is now facing criminal charges for storming onto a school bus to rage at his daughters bullies. Police say it wasn't the way to deal with it??
Why should he be arrested? Damn it this pisses me off. Family is going to protect family!! The damn school system isn't protecting our kids; their policies protect the bullies!

Authorities arrested a central Florida father Thursday after he boarded a school bus and reportedly threatened students who were allegedly bullying his daughter.

James Jones' raw and obscene rage was on caught on the school bus' security camera.

He was charged with disorderly conduct and disturbing a school function in Lake Mary, Fla.

The video is blurred but Jones' anger is clear.

"Everybody sit down. Everybody sit down," Jones said on the surveillance tape.

He then orders his 11-year-old daughter to point out her alleged tormenters. "Show me which one. Show me which one," he said.

Jones confronts the middle school students he says have been bullying his daughter who has cerebral palsy by taunting, hitting and even throwing condoms at her.

"I'm gonna (expletive) you up.…this is my daughter, and I will kill the (expletive) who fought her," Jones said.

Jones reportedly threatened not only the students but the bus driver as well.

"If anything happens to my daughter I'm going to (expletive) you up and everybody on this (expletive)," he said.

Before leaving, he dares them to call the police. "You call the police, call them. My brother's the damn deputy sheriff."

School officials contacted the law enforcement authorities and Jones was arrested.

Jones defended his actions after being released on bail. "My daughter is not going to be hazed and beat up and touched on like what they've done, ok," he said. Sadiki Alexander, Jones' attorney, said the father of two was simply trying to protect his child.

"This young lady has been bullied since the first day of school. This is a new school for her. It was an overwhelming experience. She's currently on suicide watch because of this matter. So we would just ask everyone to reserve judgment," Alexander said.

Police are also investigating the alleged bullies -- seventh grade students. They could face charges of their own.

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Laura - posted on 10/29/2010

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His reaction and anger, though understandable, was totally inappropriate! He crossed the line when he gave in to his emotions and didn't stop to think! He was arrested for his actions (not his emotions) and should pay the consequences for his actions. There are appropriate ways to deal with bullying, both through the schools and privately, that wouldn't have resulted in him being arrested. Ironically, he became the very thing he was trying to protect his daughter from--a bully...

[deleted account]

Lynice, as you say, it's not pretty out there. Well, I for one, don't like our violent society and there is no way I will perpetuate it by condoning violence. And that includes verbal violence.

You say that parents don't sit down and talk to their kids because we're too busy, Well, as parents we should MAKE time! I know it's the hard option - it's a lot easier to rant and rave and say you're protecting your child but you're not, by ranting and raving you're teaching your child that humans don't matter, that might is always right and that the one with the power wins.

That's not a lesson I want my children (or grandchildren) to learn.

Yes, I have had a child bullied, and yes, it was sorted through taking and trying to understand each other. Believe me, I was ropable, but that wouldn't have helped the situation.

Incidentally, your comment that unless we have experience we're not qualified to comment is rubbish. Does that mean that unless my house had been burgled I'm not qualified to comment on burglary? Or unless I've been in a car accident I'm not qualified to comment on road safety? Ridiiculous!

Lynice - posted on 11/06/2010

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Jess if you already didnt know, bullying is killing our kids!! If you dont understand that and you dont intervene before your child or someone elses child is killed - meaning kills themself than you are blinder and more ignorant to what is going on than you think. BULLYING KILLS OUR KIDS. did that get your attention!!

Those kids did not give a toss that that man was yelling at them!! I dont even think they were scared!! They dont care literaly about anyone or anything. They are the little shits of a society that will grow up to be bigger shits because they are smart arses. They are the kids that need to be put over your knee and given a jolly good spanking. But instead they have people like you standing there supporting them than standing on the other side of the fence and supporting the father and his daughter.

I quote you " I don't care what she did wrong, you treat my daughter with respect".

Obviously if your daughter was a bully and she made another kid commit suicide, I already know that you think this is acceptable. I feel that your protecting your daughter in the wrong way. There is no hell in way a bully deserves respect. NEVER. these children are deaf and blind to what is right and they dont care.

We have already had 2 kids commit suicide in our town because of bullying and its only going to get worse. So untill people stop protecting their little angels who are the bulliers, then ill keep being the way i am untill people take responsibility and do everything in their power to not only protect your own kid that is being bullied, but also other children.

I quote you again " If my daughter came home and told me this had happened on her bus I would be straight on the phone to the school to make sure they were taking steps to protect my child "

I would be sitting my daughter down and asking her a few questions before jumping the gun. Like what happened, who was involved and why did the dad do that. Then I would be phoning the school and getting the bus driver in for a meeting. then I would be talking to the father and trying to put a clearer picture together. A person jumping on a bus and screaming at kids wouldnt be just for fun. There has to be a reason why it happened. And once again you want your child protected when she more than likely was involved in the bullying!!

I would kick my daughters arse if I knew she was a bullier. Then I would march her down to the cop shop and she will confess, hopefully they will show her what could possibly happen if she didnt stop. Then she would be put into some sort of volunteering programme to help somewhere in the community. Hopefully this will teach her a valuable leason and hopefully I have just saved a life and saved her life of going down the wrong path

I love my daughter dearly and if agression in a possitive way means that she can become a better person than I dont apologise for that at all.

Education just sometimes dosnt work - meaning sitting down with a child and talking. In one ear and out the other. Being pro active and doing something about it is actively ensuring that our children stay safe.

Lynice - posted on 11/05/2010

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@ Becky. If my kid was bullying other kids then yes dam straight I would expect another adult to tell her off, yell scream and give her a scare. Especially if I didnt know about it and then id stand next to that adult and have another go at her again until she got it in her head that bullying is not o.k. Bullying kills people!! There is no ifs or buts about it and kids these days and im sure all of our kids have either experienced it or have been the bullyer at some stage!! As much as we think our kids are angels, out of site youd be amazed at what our kids are like. I see it at a primary school, witness it even and some kids who do it come from well off homes with great parents!! Probelm is they are spoilt little brats who have an opinion, who can do or say whatever they like when they like and this is why I believe that kids dont have rights until they know the meaning behind it. Until they know boundaries and understand consequences then may they have rights. Up until that point, hush be quiet, observe and learn!!

Lynice - posted on 11/04/2010

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At Kathy. You are the exact reason why this world has changed and is so dam PC. As kids we were taught to be seen and not heard. I feel that that was a great policy to teach our children. Now days our children have so much more rights they are heard more than an adult is!! in fact kids have more rights than an adult. Why do you think we have more bullies now than we did 20 years ago?? Its because we gave our kids the right to speak up and gave them power and power created little monsters and now we have all these issues. When people go to war they dont use politics or media against guns, they use guns against guns!! Thats exactly what that father did. He used guns against guns except his was bigger. When you see a parent tell their children off, do the children appear to give a s^*t. They arent scared anymore of their parents. They just say to their parents touch me and I call the police!! Society dosnt give a crap about this sort of behaviour because if they did, we wouldnt have bullies!!
If that was my daughter and she was bullying his daughter with cerebal pausy and I didnt know about it to stop it, I would congratulate him for confronting my daughter and telling her off!! In fact Id invite him over to have another go at her beside me!! Cause that is what its going to take to let our kids know that we dont tolerate bullying!!

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[deleted account]

I totally agree with the father for doing this. More parents should be stepping in and looking out for their children, instead of leaving it up to the school. It is a parents responsibility to protect their child, and if this is what needs to be done to protect his daughter fro being bullied then cutos to him for having the balls to do so wether or not he is now facing charges. I would do the same thing, and if any of the kids parents wanted to have a go, they'd cop a peice of my mind as well.

Nissrine - posted on 11/08/2010

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I'm actually with the father on this one, I think we've got to put ourselves in HIS shoes to know exactly how we would have dealt with those bullies. I might not have used foul language but then with bullies like that & that age I don't think talking nicely would have done the trick.

It's a shame the bullies have had no action taken against them, I think if the system makes an example out of them it would teach bullies all over to think twice before bullying someone. Especially when suicide rates due to bullying are increasing each year.

[deleted account]

Jackie - sorry, late at night!

You commented that the Dad couldn't be classified as a bully as there is no evidence he acted like this on more than one occasion. I posed the question, is there any evidence that the kids who tormented the little girl did so on more than one occasion.

This question was raised in my mind because you noted that in the definition of "bully" that I gave, the phrase "on a repetitive basis" (or similar) was used.

Sherri - posted on 11/08/2010

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Good for that dad. He did the right thing. I am more appalled at the school's position on the matter. We have a 0 tolerance for bulling and students who are reported are severely dealt with usually resulting in suspensions for 1st offenses and possible expulsions for repeated offenses.

Jackie - posted on 11/08/2010

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@ Kathy - I'm sorry, I don't think I'm reading your questions correctly. Can you re-phrase?

[deleted account]

Wow I am amazed at how many of you feel what this man did was ok. He should have dealt with this in a better manner.

I was bullied myself and had a really hard time through primary school, my mom dealt with it in an amazing way, she worked closely with the school and supported me when I needed it. The only time my mom ever had to 'fight' my corner was when my bullies mom screamed abuse at me. This is what happened on that day, a couple of my bullies had decided to follow me around the playground pushing me between them and pulling my hair, I kept walking away from them because I have always been uncomfortable with violence but they kept following me. I went to the dinner lady she told them to leave me alone, they started again. After half hour of this I snapped and saw red I spun and grabbed a handful of one of the girls hair, which resulted in me pulling her fringe out of her skull. We were dealt with by the deputy head who made her apologise to me because he knew she was in the wrong. After school ended, her mom waited for me and begain swearing at and abusing me, my mom very calmly but very scarily told her if she has an issue with me she can speak to her not yell at me. Both parents had been rang by the school and told what had happened so she knew it was her daughter not me.

My mom taught me a lot that day, if you have an issue with a child you speak to their parent you do NOT yell at them, yelling at them gets you nowhere. Except to make their parent get defensive. I would be furious if anybody yelled at my son in this manner. I am his parent speak with me, I will dicipline him for his behaviour (if he is bullying someone).

[deleted account]

Jackie, your answer begs the questions - did the how often did the kids who tormented the little girl do it?

[deleted account]

Lynice, You're right, I'll always have something to say! And I guess you will too! But it's been a good debate, hasn't it?

Lynice - posted on 11/07/2010

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@ Jess. Obviously we will agree to disageree and that is fine by me. Like you I still stick to what I know, what I have seen and what I believe. Maybe one day we will stand together on the same side of the fence, but until then I wave at you from the other side! It was a great debate. Very passionate and yes very gruff. Its amazing how we are when we have been affected by something and care so much. I guess we will all go to the end of the earth for our kids. Just in different ways.
lol my partner now calls me a bully because you think I am one. omg thats funny. the funny thing about it is I love bulls and my star sign is Taurus. Perfect!!


@ Kathy. I dont have anything to say to you cause I beleive you will always have something to say about everything. Ill save my breath on you!!

Jess - posted on 11/07/2010

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Lynice, I'm sorry you are so ignorant to think that I am stupid, or that your opinion is the only right one. Don't try putting words in my mouth. Suicide is the EXTREME end of bullying, and your trying to paint every situation with the same brush. I don't believe in disrespecting children, even bullies. It's called, leading by example. You might like to try it sometime!

By treating my daughter with respect, I'm teaching her to treat others with respect. When you scream and yell and act like a child you teach your impressionable children that that behaviour is acceptable. Threatening to "fuck you up" is NOT and will NEVER be ok, and if you can't understand that than perhaps the issues in your life a larger than school yard bullies you hear about on the news.

Your welcome to parent with a heavy hand, I parent with love, guidance and support. If my daughter is in the wrong she is mine to deal with, not someone else's parents. My child's punishment is my business and between me, the school and my daughter. Not anyone else ! And it would be a rude awakening for any one who thinks they have the right to interfere. If a parent steps over the line as this man did I would protect my daughter. Storming a bus, screaming at the driver and swearing and threatening children is NOT constructive and if you did that to my child I would insist you were held accountable by law.

I stand firm on my belief that this man is a bully and I'm beginning to believe that you may also be one. Your entitled to your opinion and so am I. Don't try and put words in my mouth, I am more than capable of speaking for myself ! I have no interest in this pointless back and forth. I am not going to see your way of thinking and if anything your really just making me more firm in my beliefs.

Julia - posted on 11/06/2010

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I've been reading this ranting for a little while... I forgot to mention...



If my child were doing the bullying...well while I am a protective mother...lets just say she wouldn't have the ability to sit down for a while because I would tan that ass. Then I would call the parents of the other child and see if they wanted a go at her as well.



Then I would also go out of my way and make my daughter live in the shoes of that other child for a day, week or however long it took until I felt that she learned some compassion living life in the shoes of another person especially someone who is handicapped somehow.

Jess - posted on 11/06/2010

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Lynice I found your post rather aggressive and extremely uncalled for. Clearly your opinion differs from mine !

I don't know anywhere in my post that I refered to anyone killing another person ! That would be a matter for the courts to deal with, certainly not me.

And as for my daughter being punished by others... well hears a tip. Children are little they are NOT deaf. You don't need to shout ! If I caught anyone shouting at my daughter I would promptly explain that to them! I don't care what she did wrong, you treat my daughter with respect. And a teacher, an educated, qualified professional should know this and I wouldn't expect to have to tell them that !

It begs the question that if your going to yell at a strangers child for something that was accident, what do you do to your own child when they deliberatly misbehave ?

I am fine with other people correcting my daughters behaviour as long as they do it in the correct manner, this does not include threading to "Fuck her up". And just to be clear, I would NOT leave my child alone unattended outside of store alone.

Hears a fun fact for you - bully can be ANYTHING that belittles or makes of, intimidates or embarrasses another person. In Australia we have very strict rules on workplace bullying and 1 incident is enough to deem you a bully. We have laws to protect us as adults that are taken very seriously. And after watching the video of this man behaving so poorly, I fully support law enforcement charging him accordingly. If my daughter came home and told me this had happened on her bus I would be straight on the phone to the school to make sure they were taking steps to protect my child ! I don't condone bullying - I was bullied as a child, but I never had my parents threaten the bullies. I would correct my daughters behaviour at home !

At the end of the day a grown man got on a bus and THREATENED a group of children. Why anyone of you think its ok to say to a child "I will fuck you up", is beyond me. Had this been a parent telling off his own child in a shopping centre people would report him to child services and there would have been hell to pay !!! Children need educating, not threatening.

Anyone who abuses their power over people who weaker and have less authority is a bully !

Lynice - posted on 11/06/2010

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@ Jess. I suppose if your daughter killed a person by bullying them, the teachers knew about it but did nothing about it, but your o.k. with that because the correct channels were taken. The principle knew about it but did nothing about it, but your o.k. with that because the correct channels were taken. The bus driver knew about it, did nothing about it and I suppose your o.k. with it? Hmmmm what happens if your child was the one being bullied and you took all the correct channels, no one did anything about it and she killed herself over it, youd still be o.k with it because the correct channels were taken!!?? You have to ask yourself that serious question.............would you allow your kid to be the murderer, or would you allow your child to be the suicidal. All the correct channels were taken in either senario.
I have to say my childs life is far more worth it than mine. so if I had to loose something to stop her or keep her alive, then I would do my darndest.

Two questions for yah - How do you feel when teachers tell your child off?? Not every teacher talks quietly to a kid when they are being told off. They scream at some children, they may even pick at some children. Do you expect the teachers to call you and come into the school to dicipline your child or are you o.k. with the teacher doing it?

Also your shopping in a mall. You think that your child is sitting outside the shop behaving him/herself only to here a lady shouting at what you think is a child. You go out and find that your kid has just pushed a sign over which hurt a toddler really badly. Do you expect the parent to find the kids parent and blast them not the the kid or would you be o.k. with your child being told off by another parent......hmmmm.

One more thing, that father isnt a bully!! A bully is someone who does it more than once!!

Jess - posted on 11/06/2010

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I would be so angry if someone spoke to my daughter in that manner. There is no point bullying a bully. It just teaches them that they can only pick on people smaller than them who hold less power.

If my daughter was bullying another child I would want to be the person to punish her and that would include a face to face apology to the child and their parents. But if a parent took it upon themselves to act in this manner, scream at my child, swear at my child and threaten my child than I would want the book thrown at them ! And to think he is above the law... where does he get off ?

A situation like this happened at my school and ended with a child being beaten by another parent, the principal and 2 teaches being beaten with bats, the whole school in lock down and then police storming the school. It was a fairly nice school I went too as well. It started with the parent yelling at the bully and then their friends came back with weapons. Had the school had the parent arrested in the first instance, the nightmare would never have began !

Zero tolerance policy all round is the only solution. Zero tolerance for bullying and zero tolerance for parents who take matters into their own hands.

Barb - posted on 11/05/2010

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Becky, it depends. If it was my first go round with a child telling me the innocents of the story: "oh mommy, we were all just sitting on the bus being good and for no reason at all this man came on and started yelling, we didn't know what was going on" sure, i might get upset and demand some answers.

But by 2nd grade you learn the first question "what were you guys really doing?" and by 3rd grade you learn that if 2 or more kids are involved they can never get the same story straight if it isn't the truth. So yes, you go ask johnny what happened on the bus, and suzie, and jenny, and jimmy and eventually you find out the truth. That your child isn't as innocent as you want to believe.

Jackie - posted on 11/05/2010

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Unless, he laid his hands on my kid, I would say more power to him. I think I would understand. He didn't get in anyone's face, he didn't raise his hand. ESPECIALLY if it were my kid doing the bullying. Again, he went through the proper channels first!

Can I just say that when I was in middle school (8th grade) 1 guy grabbed me by the temples on my head and held me down while another guy groped me to 'see how big my boobs were'. The bus driver didn't do a god damn thing (pardon the french) and she saw everything! I would do more than have a few choice words for those little beasts if it were my daughter in a situation like that. just saying.

Becky - posted on 11/05/2010

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So, most of you condone threatening kids? Hmmm, that's very interesting. Imagine if your kids came home and said some crazed maniac decided to come onto his/her bus and started yelling a screaming at some kids. How would you feel then?

Julia - posted on 11/05/2010

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Personally I think I would do somewhat the same thing. If I had a physically handicapped child that was being bullied on the bus and the bus driver was doing nothing to stop it damn right I would go on there and scare the crap out of the kids and yup I would threaten the bus driver. I would then find out the names of the kids and I would have a sit down with the parents and if they were just like their kids then they would get threatened as well...

But I'm an asshole...and a VERY protective mother

Jackie - posted on 11/05/2010

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I do NOT consider what this father did as "bullying"! He protected his daughter. How is that being a bully? I was not picking on these kids because they were different or for no reason. He was giving them consequences for their behavior because obviously, nobody else did. And if they did, it didn't stop them. He was standing up for what it RIGHT! Bullying is dangerous. Kids end up DEAD. What this father did was tell these kids that it will NOT be tolerated. It's not like he waited for them to get of the bus everyday and tell them they were ugly, ignorant little shits, and throw eggs at them. That would be bullying. He STOOD UP FOR HIS LITTLE GIRL!! I would do the same thing a million times over if it were me in that situation if it took care of the problem.

And shame on anybody that wouldn't do the same for their kids. IMHO

Barb - posted on 11/05/2010

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Kathy, I'm having trouble seeing how the father fits this description of "bully"

"It involves repeated acts over time..."

Where did the father do this more than once?

"noun (bullies) a person who hurts, frightens or torments weaker or smaller people."

He did not touch the children, so that takes out "hurts" and "torments" leaving us with "frightens" The evidence on the video shows the children were laughing rather shortly after he got into their faces and yelled. Perhaps they were startled, but i'm not seeing frightened from the video.

At the same time, however, Lynice, I believe as parents it is our job to teach our children by our actions and words how they can be happy, productive, citizens. They do have a voice in the world and should be able to use it. As parents we should help show them how.

Personally, i think the solution is the schools need to stop being afraid of repercussions and bring everyone together who is involved. Parents and bullies with a mediator and the video evidence of what is going on during the bus rides. If there is video of the father getting on the bus, there is video of the childrens' daily ride to school. Take action then and there where all parties see the consequences of the bullying. (ie suspended from riding the bus, school suspension, detention, etc)

There also needs to be something in place to encourage school employees (bus driver, teacher, aide) to report when a child tells them. Or discourage them from not telling. Perhaps they should be in on the meeting as well and also receive some action.

But what is going to get this accomplished? Parents storming buses? Petitioning? PTA's? Legislation? Words or Violence?

Lynice - posted on 11/05/2010

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Kathy, its not pretty out there anymore. This isnt the 70s, 80s or 90s where people sit down and talk. We walk and talk. Parents dont sit and talk to their kids anymore. I hate to say it but LOVE isnt enough to discipline our kids. They need the whole nine yards and more.
We as a society are too busy to sit and talk. Both mum and dad are working a 9 to 5 job just to make ends meat. Our children are being left to fend and look after themselves. They grow up so much more quickly than need be and are almost pushed into it because of the way life has become. I wish this wasnt the way it was and I wish I could have brought my children up back in the day. But I cant go back and I have to work with the times not fight it.

If you were in this situation, and your child was being bullied and no one did anything about it at all and you came home and found your child had committed suicide because he/she just couldnt handle life anymore. Would you blame yourself for not taking action? Would you blame yourself for not doing more than you could have?

Through out our whole debate you havnt mentioned what you would do in this situation!! I have and I no thats not wait to come home and find my child committed suicide because life was just unbearable.

Heres another question, have you ever experienced bullying yourself, have your children or have you bullied. Because until you have, I dont think a person is qualified to make judgment. Is that a fair comment?? Its easy for people to have an opinion and to give it, but until youve experienced it you arent qualified to comment!!

I dont think there is anything that you could say that would change my opinion about this matter, because I know what I would do and that is not watch my kid die. Would you??

[deleted account]

Lynice, I didn't mention "sitting down and talking pretty", so I don't know where you picked that up!

No, I certainly didn't allow my kids to walk all over me, but they could certainly voice their opinions, as is their right. They have all grown into caring adults who respect others' rights, but hate injustice, just like me. My kids certainly got disciplined, but there are other ways to discipline with love and without descending into violence. As far as I'm concerned, "violence" encompasses both phical and verbal violence.

This man is a bully. According to Wikipedia:
Bullying is a form of abuse. It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one group or person's power over another group or person, thus an "imbalance of power".The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying

Or:
noun (bullies) a person who hurts, frightens or torments weaker or smaller people.
(Chambers Dictionary)

This man definitely fits these definitions, whatever his motivation.

Incidentally, I've always had a high opinion of my kids - when they were little, we talked about everything, including rights, bullying, appropriate actions....We still do. It's a pity there's not more communication and less violence in our society.

Lynice - posted on 11/04/2010

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My point Kathy is, that father showed his daughter he cared. That wasnt bullying!! He didnt hit them, he didnt throw things at them, he told them point blank "Pick on my kid and Im gonna pick on you". That is not bullying!! Thats telling them once how its gonna be and the outcome if they dont stop is not gonna look pretty. Bullying is when it is a continued ongoing process! Hes not a bully!!
You arent going to nip this cycle in the bud by sitting down and talking pretty. Police cant even control bullying as kids dont have respect for them either so what makes you think that sitting down and talking with them is going to make them change!!
How often did you hear in the news 20 years ago that kids were committing suicide because they were bullied?? Thats evidence enough for me!! We never had these sorts of campagnes in our schools as they do nowadays for bullying.
As adults we need to take more control of our kids. Problem is the government has taken those rights away from us!! Now I dont know what Floridas laws are on parenting but where im from we have no rights as parents to even dicipline our kids anymore. Sitting them on the naughty mat is gonna turn them more into bullys than a smack on the butt. I was brought up in the era of smack bums, respect your elders and never cause trouble with others or ill get it when i get home. Now we cant even do that. Something wrong with this picture big time. Our kids are getting away with murder and we as parents still get the blame!! Kids dont have rights as far as im concerned. And I dont mean bash your kids either. Kids dont get to choose where to eat, what to eat or what to buy or where to sleep or anything else. I tell my child what to do and if she dosnt like it then tough. My daughter dosnt get a voice until she is legally enough to shift out and look after and support herself. While she is under my roof what goes goes.Shes happy with that and she understands. I dont really care what you say at the end of the day our kids need discipline and what that father did was not bullying, he was doing what a parent should do which is what my parents would have done 20 years ago and every other adult and most still do. if a child needs pulling back into line, whether it be your own or someone elses then so be it!!
Like I tell my daughter "I brought you into this world, I will be the one to take you out" While there is a little joke between her and I about that, she understands there is a little truth behind that saying and we understand each other perfectly. Thats her human rights and im sure you dont allow your kids to walk all over you which would be giving them rights. kids dont know boundaries and they certainly dont know when enough is enough untill an adult tells them so!!

[deleted account]

My point, Lynice, is that this father is a bully! What message is that going to send to his daughter? That if things are going badly, just bully your way out of it? Use violence against violence? Guns against guns? It doesn't work! Violence begets violence. Guns beget guns. We need to nip this cycle in the bud.

Do you have any evidence that society has more bullies now than we did 20 years ago? I think if we let adults bully kids we're going to get more, as the adults are the ones setting the exmples.

I must admit I don't understand your point about PC. Are you not in favour of human rights? I am. These kids were acting like little ferals but they're still human beings. I would have wanted to rant and rave but I know that doesn't work. It's a systemic thing, not an individual situation. If we want to make society better, it has to change THROUGH decent, unselfish behaviour, not through more bullying!

[deleted account]

Lynice, I think creating all that "Huha" is essentilal, because it's the whole system that's got to change, not just one situation. What he did was NOT right, because he did exactly the same thing as those bullies who tormented his child - he became a loud, foul-mouthed bully himself. Society cannot tolerate this sort of behaviour and it's not the way to solve problems.

"You have to be cruel to be kind" is something of a cliche and doesn't mean much. If, by using that phrase, you mean that the only way to stop a particular behaviour is to use the same behaviour oneself, that is defeating the purpose - using the same behaviour just continues the cycle.

And yes, I"ve railed against the media, but that's why you have to be careful in who you select.

Our children are worth creating all that "huha" for - they're not worth seeing their parents be bullies too!

Lynice - posted on 11/04/2010

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@ Kathy. Why create all that huha when you can just simply stop it then and there? This world is a cruel world and youve got to be cruel to be kind. Most parents would not tolerate their children bullying but there are a select few out there that simply dont care! If you go public you end up bringing not only the victims family into the spotlight but you also bring the bullies family into the spotlight. Media these days rip families and communities apart from stuff like this not make them unite so leave the media out of it!! I think what he did was right. Maybe not the swearing as much but he was a father that was venting and scared and caring for his daughter. No crime in that!! It would have stopped the bullying then and there!! I would do it it too if it meant saving my daughters life and I am sure if you were in the same situation you would do it too. Only human nature to want to protect your young!!

Lynice - posted on 11/04/2010

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I absolutely agree with what he did. Times have changed and our society is not about going through channels anymore! You hear so many stories how the school was informed & the principle was informed but nothing was done about it and now the kid is dead. The father knocked it on the head then and there. As for the bus driver he/she should have been the first to report it not ignore it! Sacking material I say!! I dont condone violence as I am disciplined in martial arts and I dont allow my daughter to swear, but I have told my daughter on these certain circumstances she may swear at a person who bullies her and if they dont leave her alone and teachers wont do anything about it, punch them in the face hard. That way she can say to the teachers I told you so and get some action done and she can let her bulliers know that she will not tolerate there crap. We dont live in a nice world anymore!! You have to fight to stand up for yourself cause no one else will! I hope to hell that my daughter is never bullied and if I find out she is the bullier watch out. I have seen and heard time and time again how parents have had to go to their childs school and confront the bullies themselves cause nothing is done about it. GOOD ON YOU PARENTS THAT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR KIDS CAUSE NO ONE ELSE AT THE END OF THE DAY DOES!!! GOTTA LOVE AND PROTECT OUR KIDS!!

April - posted on 11/04/2010

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as someone who was abused in a very similar way when i was the same age as this man's daughter, I can see why he did what he did. as someone else pointed out...your child being treated like that makes you feel sick to your stomach. he was right to defend his daughter...i just wish the attention was off of him and onto the bullies. bullies like those don't just hurt you that day...it follows you for life sometimes.

Jackie - posted on 11/04/2010

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Well, it was definitely a knee jerk reaction, I don't condone it but I most definitely don't blame him either, if that makes sense.

[deleted account]

He was at the end of his rope, definitely, but there is no excuse for that type of behaviour. If I were his child I would be so embarassed to see my father behaving like a bully.

Go through the correct channels, and if that doesn't work, which it obviously didn't, it's time to empower parents. Instead of copping out by saying, "well, the school didn't help," go on TV, contact local journos, be a nusiance at PTA meetings, meeting with your local representative, start a publicity campaign.....

Don't let society make parents powerless, but don't descend to bullying behaviour.

Jenny - posted on 11/03/2010

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Becky, this was a man at the end of his rope. He tried dealing with the parents and the school with zero results. You would not need to sue him as you would squash that behaviour in your child before it ever escalated to that point right?

Becky - posted on 11/03/2010

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I can tell you one thing, damn straigt I would press charges on him, or anyone like him, if they did something like that to my child. (Not for a second condoning bullying in any way. My kids know if I ever found out they were doing something like that, they would have no life.) Does he have the right to be angry? Of course he does. We all want to protect our children. However, I couldn't fathom being an adult, going onto a bus full of kids, start throwing the f bomb around, threatening a kid, and not expect to be punished. I'm surprised that the bus driver didn't try to get him off the bus. In the schoold district I'm in, parents are in no way allowed on the bus. This should have been addressed with the parents and not on the bus.

Jackie - posted on 11/03/2010

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I would do just about anything to protect my daughter from humiliation and harassment. After reading what he actually did to take measures to have it stopped and it didn't work. This makes me absolutely furious! This makes me support my initial thought! GOOD FOR HIM!!

Barb - posted on 11/03/2010

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This man was on the Monday's dr phil. As i don't normally watch him, i had completely forgotten about it and went to his web page where i obtained the video and then watched excerpts of the show and read some of the statements from the guests on the show.



The child had told the bus driver she was being bullied and he did nothing, The child had told her teacher she was being bullied, and they did nothing, The child had told the teacher's assistant and they did nothing. The child told her mom who told the father the girl wasn't going to school until this was straightened out. The father wanted to know more and before the bus arrived hears from his little girl that her ears had been twisted, she had been poked with pencils, an open condom put in her hair, kids were spitting on her and not letting her sit for the ride to school.



I know the media is inflammatory and that is how they get their ratings. But I fully understand and feel this man's white hot rage and frustration.



Unfortunately, Jackie's point seems to be coming true. All the focus and attention is now on what the parent SHOULD NOT do instead of what the schools should be doing to protect our kids. And the bullies no longer seem to be in the equation. Off scott free (no pun intended if any of the bullies' names are scott)

[deleted account]

I think if the school is not doing the right thing in defending our kids, it's up to us as parents to MAKE them! Join schools boards, go to PTA meetings, join everything possible and make a noise! Politely - yelling and making a scene gets nowhere - just lobby for our kids!

Brie - posted on 11/02/2010

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honestly i dont think it was right for him to threaten a child but i would probably said that to the bus driver and went to the schools and the parents and if nothing happened i would take it to the law...

Barb - posted on 11/02/2010

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Here is the video of that father going onto the bus and what was said.

Throughout the tape you can hear laughter and while he's getting off the bus you can hear it.

Jenny - posted on 11/02/2010

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Good on the father. I hope he scared the shit out of those stupid girls. I would not do it exactly the same way but this situation was not mine to handle. I know when my brother was being bullied I scared the bejeesus out of a couple of Elementary school kids and they left him alone after that. Don't expect beuracracy to protect your kids, it rests on the family's shoulders. I would go to the parents of the other kids first and then go from there depending on their response. I'm not above making a slimeball crap their pants to protect my kids.

Jackie - posted on 11/02/2010

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I agree Jennifer. I don't think the schools are doing enough to protect our children. My daughter isn't even two yet and I'm scared to DEATH to send her to school. I can see myself lashing out if someone hurts my daughter. Doesn't make it right, but I will do what I have to so to make sure she's ok and not bullied, harassed, belittled, and scared. PERIOD

Jennifer - posted on 11/02/2010

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Laura, Have you ever had a child that has been bullied???? Sometimes going through the school does nothing. I know from experience. Unless you're in that situation I don't think it is fair to pass judgement. All I know is that when your child is being hurt and bullied it feels like someone is ripping your heart out.

Meghan - posted on 11/01/2010

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I could see myself doing the EXACT same thing. Doesn't make it right, but when your ill child is being not even bullied but harassed like that, I would probably snap too. He has apologized, he admitted that he may have gone overboard but in that instance, he did what he felt was right.

April - posted on 11/01/2010

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that's a really good point Jackie. assuming he did this on impulse and didn't go through appropriate channels...he may have done his daughter a disservice by acting the way he did. now, the consequences dealt to the bullies may even be nonexistent.

Jackie - posted on 11/01/2010

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I think the main mistake this father made is handling it in such a way that the attention has been taken off of the bullies and on to him. He is being made out to be the bad guy in this situation but reality, it's the kids. Sure... he could've handled it differently but because he protected his daughter, the attention is taken off of the kids. I'll bet any amount of money they got a slap on the wrist.

Jen - posted on 11/01/2010

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The father was right to say something to the bullies, but not to threaten them the way he did. Stepping up & defending your child when no one else will step in and take responsibility is a natural instinct, BUT threatening other's children isn't right either. I think he was right to speak up, but I also think it was right that he was arrested for threatening to kill the guilty children. Had he just yelled and threatened to maybe go to their parents/authorities then he shouldn't have been arrested.

Candi - posted on 11/01/2010

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I agree, most schools do take the easy way out and ignore it. I am thankful my kids go to a school that will enforce this policy. My son went to this school last yr and as soon as I found out he was being bullied at school and in the neighborhood, I sent his teacher an email. I sent it around 9:30am. By 2pm I received a call from the principal. The email had been sent to all the 5th grade teachers, the principal, assistant principal and the entire school district office letting them know this was happening. It stopped THAT DAY!! They brought the boy's parents in and told them what was happening. By the end of the school year, that boy and my son were on speaking terms and could be around each other with no problems. IF the schools won't help, then it usually ends up being the parents who do something about it. True, bullying doesn't usually solve a problem, but these punks needed a taste of their own medicine! Ihope they get kicked off the bus and get suspended from school for it. And yes, if it was my son who w stupid enough to bully a handicapped person, first I would kick his tail, then I would let the school (or the victim's parent) handle it.

April - posted on 11/01/2010

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Bullying is a huge problem in many schools and although most schools have a no bullying policy...many schools do not enforce their policies. They're out for themselves. It's just easier to look the other way and not get involved. Once you get involved, there's meetings and angry parents to deal with and there's always going to be someone left unhappy. Teachers and Principals don't want to get into the mess so they sweep it under the rug.

Tah - posted on 10/31/2010

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i posted this to DB a couple months ago, and i will say what i said there...if the school doesn't want to help your child, then it's up to you..i am not mad at him...if somebody puts a open condom in my childs hair, teases and throws things at them, they have my permission to take the most in depth defense tactic sinsai taught them and open a can of whipa** on them....

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