Food Stamps & Junk food!

Jodi - posted on 06/25/2010

Good luck Suzette :)

Suzette - posted on 06/25/2010

LOL Sara, I'm trying!! Hubby, Mom, and Grandma all want her to hurry too... they're getting stronger and closer together so we're hoping to go tonight. :) And thank you!

Good Day! - posted on 06/25/2010

Hurry those contractions up! That little girl WILL be born on my anniversary! =)

And THANK YOU for your post. I was trying to figure out how to respond, but I'll just second what you said!

Suzette - posted on 06/25/2010

@Kati and Lisa,

Thanks!!! :) I'm hoping she makes her debut tonight. I've had some stronger contractions today. (I think it might be this conversation getting me riled up. HA!)

Suzette - posted on 06/25/2010

"Why should people who make a little over the cut off but can barely support themselves not be able to get those things but you should because you're sitting on a forum while you should be working or looking for work?

I'm done. You all clearly have your opinions, and yes, feel entitled to be beggars AND choosers. I have my opinion, and I am sticking to it. Please, feel free to act like I'm soooooooooo offensive. There are a lot of people like me who, in all actuality are well informed about this issue (as I am...talk to anyone who works in a welfare office!!!! I promise you, they will not tell you the majority are these hard working people on hard times, but are people who have been living off of the system for years and getting whatever freebies possible so that they won't have to, god forbid, work for it!) and who aren't just making assumptions, and just won't say it so bluntly. Sorry to break it to you, but you are not entitled to choose if you beg."

Wow. So what about those who are receiving only WIC and aren't working but have one income? Should they not be able to get what they want at the grocery store beside what WIC says they can have? Should we regulate how they spend their other income?

First of all, we don't know why the other person isn't working. The other person could be waiting for Social security to clear, disability, etc. They could have a health issue, be on workman's comp, etc. They could have a high risk pregnancy. Any number of reasons could be keeping them at home, not working. So to put it as "someone should be getting off their lazy butt and getting a job" when you don't know their story... may just be a little too "foot in the mouth" so to speak. Especially when you're running around calling people beggars and choosers. MOST people who are on some type of assistance do NOT like being there. They're there because they have to be, not because they want to be.

No one is acting like you're offensive, your words ARE offensive. Especially when you aren't taking into consideration who you're talking to before you're saying the things you are. Yes, there are those out there that take advantage of the system, welfare workers know that, we know that. But there are also those out there that are using the system the way it is intended to be used. There are those that live in states that are so expensive that even with a full time job (at minimum wage) it would barely cover a partial grocery bill for a single mother and her children and others like mentioned above.

And just because you believe that you're well informed, don't presume that you're the ONLY one. I have known those that work in those offices as well. I know about the statistics just as well as anyone else. I know about people that are on food stamps, WIC, and Medicaid and they're not abusing the system. Just because there are those out there that are it doesn't mean that we can automatically discriminate (like you are) against everyone on those programs.

My grandmother is on food stamps because her SSI doesn't give her enough for bills and food. She buys food for her diabetes and sometimes buys something like frozen yogurt or maybe a snack cake here and there for herself. God forbid she treat herself once in a while.

And, she's not begging. Neither is the man whose wife left him (who is a friend of my family) who has 3 kids to feed but his job doesn't cover his bills and his grocery bill. I guess he should be looking for a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th job though. Maybe then, when he's not able to spend time with his children helping with homework or watching them and his daughter winds up pregnant or his son winds up in a gang, it'll be okay because he won't be on the system buying them "junk food" in accordance with your beliefs. Right?

Sorry, I'm not meaning to be offensive to anyone on the board, I can get pretty passionate too. Especially when someone is taking it upon themselves to basically call everyone on Welfare a beggar. They're not all trash who take advantage of the system.

Dehra - posted on 06/25/2010

what people decide to spend their food stamps on is none of our business. how do you know that she didnt buy groceries earlier in the week and she decided to buy sweets for her kids.... again it is none of our business.

Ramona - posted on 06/25/2010

I really should apologize for the way I put my point across. I do feel passionately about my stance on this issue, but I shouldn't have attacked anyone. I think we all do what we THINK is right at that particular time and sometimes it turns around and bites us in the ass. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put any particular person down. I'm going to get out of this conversation now, because you know my opinion and it probably came across stronger than it should have. Again, I apologize and please excuse my lack of compassion. I get that way sometimes on issues I feel passionately about.

Teresa - posted on 06/25/2010

Ramona, this was turning into a nice, fun converstaion til you butted back in. I thought you were done the LAST time you posted......

And until YOU run the government... I can do what THEY see fit. You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but you don't make those laws... they do.

*Lisa* - posted on 06/25/2010

While I agree that there are those who bludge off the system, not everyone is in that situation. One of my favourite memories as a kid is hunting for a little bag of lollies that my mum had hidden in our 'house' at the time. I was about 3 or 4. Anyway, I once told my mum about how much fun I must have had because I could still remember it. She told me that she was a single mum at the time and we were living in a garden shed down the back of a farm. That's right, a SHED. With dirt floors. God forbid that my single mum trying to make ends meet for her 2 kids should want to treat her kids while the world is crashing down around them. You seem well informed of the statistics, but don't seem to care that every one of those 'numbers' is a REAL person with a REAL story.

Ramona - posted on 06/25/2010

Children do not NEED junk food. I fail to see the validity of the "OH MY GOD MY CHILD CANT HAVE TREATS?" bleeding heart argument. At all. It is not neglectful to NOT give your child junk food. Good god, get OVER yourselves! I would NOT bring a child into a home where I knew I might not be able to provide for it MYSELF were my spouse's income to not be there-- THAT is responsible parenting. I do not feel sorry for you because your kids wouldn't be able to have treats if they actually put some stipulations on food stamps, I believe in setting yourself up to be able to provide for your children if you decide to have them. And to actually BELIEVE that the majority of people on welfare are hard working, barely making it individuals is extremely naive. Where are you getting your facts? Not from the welfare office, that's for sure! I SYMPATHIZE with the people who have fallen on hard times, but I don't think that asking them to ONLY buy necessities is too much. When you are on hard times, you must sacrifice. That's the way it goes. Why should people who make a little over the cut off but can barely support themselves not be able to get those things but you should because you're sitting on a forum while you should be working or looking for work?

I'm done. You all clearly have your opinions, and yes, feel entitled to be beggars AND choosers. I have my opinion, and I am sticking to it. Please, feel free to act like I'm soooooooooo offensive. There are a lot of people like me who, in all actuality are well informed about this issue (as I am...talk to anyone who works in a welfare office!!!! I promise you, they will not tell you the majority are these hard working people on hard times, but are people who have been living off of the system for years and getting whatever freebies possible so that they won't have to, god forbid, work for it!) and who aren't just making assumptions, and just won't say it so bluntly. Sorry to break it to you, but you are not entitled to choose if you beg.

*Lisa* - posted on 06/25/2010

Eating junk food in moderation won't necessarily end up in diabetes.
I was wondering about Loureen too Kati!! Good luck Suzette! I'm getting excited butterflies for you :D

Janella - posted on 06/25/2010

it's their buisness if they want to have diabeties by age 50

Rosie - posted on 06/25/2010

i've been sitting here wondering when that daughter of yours was going to make an entrance suzette. loureen is due around this time too, i havn't seen a post from her for a day or so, wonder if she had her son? keep us posted and put up pics!:)

Suzette - posted on 06/25/2010

Teresa,

"Oops, I wasn't supposed to share my secret. :) Seriously though..... I've been threatening to tie my kids up w/ rope and tape their mouths shut w/ duct tape forever and I only own one small rope and STILL haven't bought any duct tape. gqtm"

That reminds me of something my Dad did when we were younger. He was always threatening my brother with hanging him upside down from the clothesline by his toes. We laughed and told him he'd never do that. One day, my dad actually held him upside down (for about a minute) by his ankles. He had a little rope lightly tied around his feet, my brother screamed bloody murder and my dad tried his hardest not to laugh but couldn't help it. He let him down after a minute, told him that he'd think twice next time about mouthing off after he got in trouble. I don't even remember now what he did. When we got older we laughed our butts off about it, but neither of us mouthed off for a long time after that either. LOL!

@Teresa & Lisa,

The LO was due on the 19th, according to the OB. The U/S tech (the first time) said she was due on the 21st. But, he couldn't see her spine, neck, or skull and the 2nd time (when he could) said that the due date was the 27th. I have an inducement set for the 30th. The OB won't change the due date unless it's 2 weeks difference. So we're hoping that she'll come before the 30th. I've had the early labor pains for about 2-3 days now. They sort of feel like braxton hicks but stronger. They're 2-3 min long but about 2-3 hours apart so no Labor and Delivery visit yet. I've been walking while they're going on, trying to help them along. So I've got fingers crossed that she decides to make her grand entrance soon!

Nikki - posted on 06/25/2010

Teresa, you have handled this conversation really well, if I were in your shoes I don't think that I could be so diplomatic! I am sorry to hear about your loser ex, your children are lucky that they have such a loving and caring mum like you that is willing to work so hard to get forward and also offer as many experiences for your children as possible. Every mother should have the right to spoil their children and to make them feel special and food is an important life experience, screw the small minded people and enjoy your cakes and brownies!

*Lisa* - posted on 06/24/2010

Wow. This thread went haywire! I'm amazed at how polite you girls were in that situation. Smack down!
Gosh I wish I had a fast metabolism Teresa. I eat one ice cream and it slides straight to my thighs and stays there. Wasn't helpful that I had mega strawberry ice cream cravings while preggas!! What am I talking about. I'm STILL craving strawberry ice cream. Just gonna go pop down to the shop with my food stamps... hope I don't get smacked down for it.
Suzette, how long now??

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

Labor pains? Baby coming soon?! I gained about 18 pounds w/ my son... I think. That last month is pretty much a traumatic blur. I gained 42 w/ the girls... and lost it all w/in 2 weeks. I have an insane metabolism. Hope it doesn't change soon... I like my ice cream.

I don't shove food in my kids mouths to shut them up. Duct tape is more effective....

Oops, I wasn't supposed to share my secret. :) Seriously though..... I've been threatening to tie my kids up w/ rope and tape their mouths shut w/ duct tape forever and I only own one small rope and STILL haven't bought any duct tape. gqtm

Suzette - posted on 06/24/2010

That's a better idea Teresa. :)
I've gone through various cravings so far, some of which included McDonalds... lol. Mine weren't for the fries so much as yours Sara... mine were more for the chicken nuggets. Of course, once I got there it might turn into salad or a quarter pounder. lol.

As much as I've eaten through this pregnancy though, I've only gained about 18 pounds, the last we checked. (20 max.) And I ate a lot of stuff that I probably should have replaced with healthier options.

Sara, that's part of what I was talking about, the self control being taught to children. There was something about fat being good for children, good fat and bad fat, etc.
http://lowfatcooking.about.com/od/faqs/f...

It was something along those lines, but with more to it. Hopefully that's making sense. My labor pains are becoming more prominent and I'm tired so if that's not making sense, I'm sorry! :)

And I agree, teaching self control should be common sense, just like Teresa is doing with not allowing her children to have things all at once. Unfortunately, there are parents who just get sick of hearing their kids cry and will toss a snack cake their way so they don't have to deal with them. Common sense just isn't common enough anymore.

Good Day! - posted on 06/24/2010

I CRAVED McDonald's french fries when I was pregnant, and I typically hate McD's. After I got off work, I would sit in the drive through for 30 minutes (one McD's in the town, we need another) to get an order of small fries. I wouldn't let myself get a bigger size..gqtm. I did this at least twice a week while pregnant.

And Suzette, I don't know if this is what you are talking about, but I've always heard that kids need a little junk once and again to learn proper self control. You would think that helping your kids learn self control would be common sense though. ;)

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

Don't leave the conversation, Suzette... just change it... and yes, I'm still bored. This stupid PMS NEEDS to go away!!

When I was pregnant w/ the girls I was under doctor's orders to eat McDonald's anytime I wanted.

We bought Ding Dongs a few days ago cuz I used to love them. They aren't as good as I remember, so I'm letting the kids eat them all.... not all at once though.

Suzette - posted on 06/24/2010

I also recall reading somewhere, though I can't for the life of me remember where, that there is such a thing as having good fat for a child. Something about McDonald's, in moderation of course, being good for a child. So why is it that all this stuff (like snack cakes) would be looked down on so much? As long as they're not eating that stuff all day long, why would it be such a big deal?

And, since the food pyramid has been changed, and nutritionists often have differing opinions... how would that help? Many times they're arguing with each other over what's right and what's wrong. Unless a child is being neglected or abused with eating habits, leave the parents alone and worry about your own homes and your own children. (Your speaking generally - not directed at any one person.)

As LaCi said about being polite or pretending to be, I can no longer do so, so I'm choosing to leave the conversation. =)

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2010

I think people have too much time on their hands if you are worrying about what anyone puts into THEIR buggy or THEIR childrens mouths.. as long as its not drugs or booze.. Sheesh really.. not everyone has the same thoughts as you guys on health foods and such.. I try to feed my kids healthy foods but they are kids.. they are gonna eat crap from time to time.. and i have family members that put soda in a bottle.. their kids grew up completely fine..

so yeah.. they are having a rough time for what ever reason and use government benefits.. there are worse things in this world that government benefits are used on.. i think its silly that we concern ourselves with what others do.. i understand that its tax payers money.. i am a tax payer.... i just don't worry about these things.. its NONE of my business

Erin - posted on 06/24/2010

Yep, all day every day! That, and chips, candy bars, gooey cheesy pizzas!! You name it.....junk, junk, junk ALL day long!

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

You let your SON eat those?! I just ate 2..... I ate a nectarine first though.

Erin - posted on 06/24/2010

Uh-oh, I just let my son have a brownie that I paid for with food stamps!

Brandie - posted on 06/24/2010

Wow. After reading everyone's posts it upsets me to realize how many people are most likely judging me when I pull out my EBT card to pay for my groceries. All that these people see is a green card and instantly they have me labeled. What they don't see is a mother who has had to raise her son by herself since he was born because the father decided he didn't want anything to do with us. What they don't see is a mother who has been working full time and going to school full time while raising her son by herself. What they don't see is a mother who is about to graduate with an accounting degree and has already started a new job and will be off of assistance very soon. What they don't see is a mother who is continuing her education to earn an MBA. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I am not trash. It was my CHOICE to have my son. It was not my choice for his father to abandon us. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, anyone who has an opinion about foodstamps or any other kind of assistance that has not ever been on assistance, should stop and think before they speak. Do not judge a book by it's cover.

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

So true Suzette, my son is 2 now and you want to know the amount of things my ex has purchased for his son (other than feeding him during the rare visitation, of course) in his entire lifetime.... 2 outfits that were the right size for my son 5 months BEFORE my ex bought them and one Easter basket (since last Easter was one of the visits he has made). That's it. Nothing for either bday or Christmas that my son has been around and nothing 'just because'.

So what if I spend a fraction of food stamps on some sweets and treats. I am definitely not sitting around w/ a sense of entitlement. If the government were to regulate what I could and couldn't buy.... I'd go along w/ it since feeding my family IS more important than cookies and ice cream. Until that happens though... I will buy what I buy.

I did happen to mention that I have a friend who receives almost the same amount in food stamps/month that I do... She buys a small fraction of the amount of 'junk' that I buy and ends up spending her whole monthly allotment on feeding her family healthier stuff while I spend only 1/3-3/4 (depending on what we need that month) of my monthly allotment. We go to the doctor a whole lot less often than they do too, so my 'junk food' eating habit is a lot cheaper.... gqtm ;)

LaCi - posted on 06/24/2010

You were receiving assistance for two months? that must have been SO difficult for you. you must REALLY understand the difficulty and cutbacks. 2 months is like a lifetime, right?

I won't be able to politely carry on this conversation. Not even in a way that I can pretend is polite, like I usually do. Byebye!

Suzette - posted on 06/24/2010

I agree with Kati, those people that are griping about everything while eating junkfood, drinking, etc. are the minority not the majority.

"So many people in this country have such a sense of entitlement, but really, we should be grateful just for the assistance being available!"

A sense of entitlement while they should be grateful for the assistance being available? Um, they are entitled to the money that they paid in taxes into that fund if the State deems them "entitled" to needing it... just like they're entitled to tax returns if they've paid into taxes... just like they're entitled to social security if they've paid into that fund. It's not 'entitlement' to those that aren't griping about it, it's called getting what they paid BACK when they NEED that help.

Not everyone using the welfare system is some low down, dirty, piece of trash with fifty kids who is popping out more and more simply to stay on welfare and live off of everyone else. Do those people exist? Yeah, they do. I've met some like that... BUT like Kati said, they are the minority NOT the majority.

And, as a side note Ramona, unless you've been on welfare with children, maybe you're not aware of what it's like to sit there on their birthday and feel like crap because their Dad is a piece of crap who won't help you with them and the only way you can afford to get them a birthday cake is with some assistance.

My mom was in the same situation when I was a kid. My biological father was an abusive jerk who kicked us all out. We moved from Oregon to Arizona with family help. She had to be on assistance, temporarily, and the only way she could get birthday stuff was to make homemade gifts and buy a cake on the assistance she got. You want to think she's a horrible person because she bought ONE cake, go for it. But until you're there, in a situation like Teresa's, my mothers, or some other woman who has just lost her husband at a young age... (and I hope you never are!) the mile in those shoes isn't understandable. I can't claim to understand what they go through either, which is why I won't judge them for buying a few sweets, soda, or a stupid cake.

Rosie - posted on 06/24/2010

"However, I think it's ridiculous to sit there and complain about how you don't know how you are going to feed the ones you already have AND this one."- i guess i havn't heard anybody complaining about how they are going to feed their children. that's what i'm not getting.i think some people think that those who are on assistance don't work and have never worked, and just sit back complaining about everything, while eating junkfood and smoking and drinking beer. while i don't dispute that happens in some cases, it is not (in my experience with people who are on assistance) the majority, or anywhere close to as much as people think it is.



and as for people being personally accountable for themselves. i've always thought about that when i've heard it, and i just don't understand how people who give up their jobs, and lives because their husband wants them to stay home with the kids, or they want to stay home with the kids can be expected to do that. when i married my husband i thought (and i;m sure teresa thought this as well) that it would be FOREVER. why on earth would anybody prepare for something that they just don't believe will happen to them? what about those whose husbands were abusive and controlling and wouldn't let them stash away any money?



once again, legislating what people can eat because they are on assistance is comparable to the government legislating what you can do with your body while on medical assistance. got cancer and don't want chemo? to bad, we say you have to cause it's better for you. don't want a c-section? too bad, we say you have to so guess what, slice slice. i'm assuming most people wouldn't want the government telling them what to do with their own bodies in those situations, so why is this any different?

Ramona - posted on 06/24/2010

Okay, the question here was whether there should be regulations for what can be bought on food stamps. My answer is yes. This is coming from someone who has used them for a short time. I see nothing wrong with trying to help people be healthy as well as feed their families. I also think that if you want to be able to choose what to eat, you should pay for it yourself. When you fall on hard times, you don't get to be picky. It sucks, yes, but that's how life goes when you are in a bad position. I guess suggesting informed family planning where both parties are financially responsible and would avoid "having to be told what to eat" in case of the unthinkable makes me a meanie! Well, that's fine. I stand by my opinion. So many people in this country have such a sense of entitlement, but really, we should be grateful just for the assistance being available! But no, we feel a need to be able to CHOOSE what we get with our assistance cuz what the nutritionists or whoever else would choose for us just isn't good enough for us Americans! Children do not NEED junk food.

There is NOTHING wrong with receiving temporary aid, but there is something wrong w/ feeling entitled to receive it YOUR way. If you've fallen on hard times, I sympathize with you. But, you should refrain from making more children to feed while you are in said hard times. That, in my mind, would be my responsibility should I need assistance for whatever reason.

There's my final answer.

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

Not the family planning comment. The birthday cake one. You feel sorry for my kids? Good. So do I. That's why I refuse to deny them certain things.

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

OK, I've reread that post 3 times. Sorry, it IS directly to me. There is no other possible way to take that.

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

Here's a typing tip then... if you don't want someone to think you are referring to them... don't put their name in there....

Ramona - posted on 06/24/2010

Well, I wasn't referring to you in particular, Teresa, in that post. If you choose to continue to take it personally, though, go straight ahead!

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

Nope, sorry... I don't feel better. And for the record... I did reread your post... Family planning much?! Uh, YEAH... I did plan my family. I didn't plan for my ex to abandon us though.

Ramona - posted on 06/24/2010

I never said to deny your children of food. I said that people who are receiving government assisance should refrain from making more babies. Sorry if it seemed as though I was attacking YOU personally. I just went off in a tangent about the many people that I've seen have 2, 3, 4, children WHILE on food stamps and working at McDonald's.



Also, I didn't mean to imply that receiving temporary assistance was a horrible thing. I have nothing against it if it's temporary. I do think,however, that people should make sure they PERSONALLY, not just their spouse, are financially set up to support children should something happen to the working spouse, whether that be education or family support or whatever else.

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

OK, I pretty much quit reading after Ramona basically told me to stop having children that I can't afford... obviously you don't read much of what I post. I had twin 6 year olds and was almost due w/ my 3rd when my ex decided to leave us for another woman and TOLD me to go on welfare cuz he was never going to pay a penny in child support. I AM getting my life together, but I refuse to deny my children what the government sees fit for me to give them simply because my ex is a deadbeat creep!!!!!

OK, off to read the rest to see if I should calm down or not....

Ramona - posted on 06/24/2010

No, I was not attacking her. Whoever said that they buy pop instead of milk for their family, I did attack them for that because that's just not right any way you look at it! I will cop to that and I won't apologize for being absolutely appalled about that!

Ramona - posted on 06/24/2010

Hey, if you all have youselves convinced that's what I meant and you want to continue thinking I'm a horrible heartless bitch that just doesn't understand, go ahead, but that's NOT what I was saying!

Good Day! - posted on 06/24/2010

No, you were not clear at all. You appeared to be attacking Teresa. Thanks for clarifying.

Ramona - posted on 06/24/2010

No. That's not what I said. I explained that in two or three of my previous posts,although maybe not as clearly as I'd like. I'm talking about people that have an unexpected pregnancy IN a hard time. If your family has fallen into a hard time, I think it is up to you to ensure unplanned pregnancies don't happen. Sometimes that doesn't work, and I understand that. However, I think it's ridiculous to sit there and complain about how you don't know how you are going to feed the ones you already have AND this one. I DO think that, as a parent in that situation, it is your duty to either try to get into a better position or to consider your options. I'm not SAYING give them all up, I'm saying prevent more from happening if you can! I'm not asking to put older children into the system, believe me! I have NO desire to see that happen. Perhaps I was not clear there.

Rosie - posted on 06/24/2010

apparantly....

Good Day! - posted on 06/24/2010

So what about families that fall on hard times after the kids are already born? Should they give away their five year old?

Ramona - posted on 06/24/2010

I didn't HAVE kids when I was on assistance! I was on assistance for, like, 2 months! I did not purchase junk food in that time.

Good Day! - posted on 06/24/2010

Okay, I take back what I just said. My previous post was directed at the one directly after mine. I take it back now.

Erin - posted on 06/24/2010

So Ramona are you telling all of us that when you were on assistance you NEVER gave your kids junk food? Not one time? Just curious.

Ramona - posted on 06/24/2010

I guess family planning is an unreasonable request....my bad!

Good Day! - posted on 06/24/2010

Okay, THAT is the way to express yourself. The first time was worded rather poorly, and appeared to be directed at Teresa. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I read through it several times and it struck me in a bad way every time. But that's what's hard about the internet.

Ramona - posted on 06/24/2010

LOL What hole? Apparently only people who think that anyone should be able to get anything they want anytime they want and should be able to pop out as many children as they want are entitled to an opinon!