Girl, 11, Gives Birth to Baby Boy in Northeast Hospital

Michelle - posted on 03/12/2010

I have an 11 year old daughter, so this story totally freaks me out! There is no way in the world I would allow her to have a boyfriend at this age, especially one that is an adult! Thank goodness she thinks boys are a pain still, please give me a couple more years! But this girl in the news had no idea about having a boyfriend let alone sex.....so what is she doing having sex with a boy she doesn't know from a bar of soap five minutes after they get together? Obviously this child's parents didn't know what she was up to, which they should be responsible for. And the boyfriend, it is sad for him that he is away from his new baby. But I am glad that he was put in jail as he corrupted and had sex with a child.....that is just wrong. If he loved her enough, he should have waited until she was much older. She is going to get a rude shock when she finally realises that this baby is far from a new and fun toy to play with. Her childhood is gone forever, very sad. Who I feel sorry for is this baby.

Shannon - posted on 03/11/2010

THIS IS THE ARTICLE I FOUND ABOUT IT.....


NEWS.com.au

November 02, 2009 12:25pm

A GIRL who gave birth to a daughter on her wedding day says she is glad to "have a new toy".

An 11-year-old girl has become a mother after going into labour during her wedding to her teenage boyfriend.

Kordeza Zhelyazkova was still wearing her wedding dress and tiara when she arrived at hospital and gave birth to little Violeta.

The schoolgirl, of Sliven, Bulgaria, fell pregnant within just two weeks of her 11th birthday.

She gave birth last week with 19-year-old husband Jeliazko Dimitrov at her side,

"I'm not going to play with toys any more - I have a new toy now," Kordeza told Britain's News of the World newspaper.

"She is so beautiful, I love her. Violeta is the child and I must grow up. I am not going back to school - I am a mother now."

Kordeza met Jeliazko in the playground of her gypsy school when he rescued her from bullies.

Their daughter was conceived within a week.

Kordeza admitted: "I haven't had sex education classes and I didn't know how to get pregnant. I'd never had a boyfriend and I'd never heard of condoms.

"I didn't know I was pregnant until my grandmother saw I had put on weight. I just thought I'd eaten too many burgers."

The pair had a traditional Roma wedding - but now Jeliazko is facing up to six years behind bars for having sex with a minor.

"I'm scared. I want to look after my wife and child. Instead I may be going to prison," he said.

"I made a mistake but I am not going to apologize for that because now I have beautiful Violeta."

Shannon - posted on 03/11/2010

OMG!! "mandatory abortion" "for her sake and that of the unborn child."...That child would be DEAD if she aborted it! What kind of "sake" is that? The unborn child did nothing wrong. Killing an innocent baby for your mistake is totally unjust & misguided. WOW!!

Shannon - posted on 03/11/2010

Absolutely not. There is no way I would EVER allow my 11 yr old to date. Not even at 15 yrs old. My children will be at least 16 when allowed to date. And the dating will be heavily supervised..I don't care if I'm a "prude".

Gina - posted on 03/11/2010

Keisha,how did a 6 year old have a baby?Was she having periods? Wow is that normal and what happened to her, Do you know?.Also I have an 11 year old and shes still a child herself, she cant cope with a baby.This poor girl who will help her?

Lyndsay - posted on 03/09/2010

This disgusts me. I think that should be a mandatory abortion, for her sake and that of the unborn child.

Sarah - posted on 03/08/2010

Okay so I just have to add my two cents in after reading the majority of these posts! First I have to mention that I'm a fifth grade teacher and last year in the district I was in, I was required to teach sex ed. We literally had to tell the students how to have sex, 'the penis is inserted into the woman's vagina' and yet somehow it was a surprise to my district that we had a high rate of sixth grade pregnancies, couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that the year before we taught them how to have sex. And it was abstinence only lessons, which meant the students that dared to ask us about condoms, we had to ignore and not respond. So they clearly have heard about contraceptives but we can't explain their importance. HOWEVER, while I believe we need to teach about contraceptives it is due to the fact that I am well aware of how many parents are not taking care of this themselves. Now in the case that started this whole conversation, that's a different story, child abuse is completely unrelated to what most of this conversation turned into! That would get me on a completely different rant! So what I do want to address is parents. I was raised not just with the thought that 'sex isn't allowed' or that 'sex is bad' etc. but rather that sex is a special and important thing that, yes should be shared with the person you marry because there was a high focus on marriage is forever. All four of my grandparents and my parents were one marriage families...no divorces. I was NOT given any opportunities by my parents to ever have sex until I was out on my own in college. If I did go out with friends, there was always at least one parent with us, or in very close proximity that came to check on us. The few times I was left home alone (after the age of 16) I was called to be checked on and my mom and I had a close enough bond that I knew, that she would know if I tried to sneak anything past her. Besides the fact that I knew she was trusting me, and I was not willing to break that trust! I believe it IS possible for parents to take more responsibility for their kids and dedicate more time to them and it would prevent the high 'child'/teen pregnancy rate. It IS the parent's responsibility to prevent sexual activity from happening while their child is living with them. That is your child, how can anyone say it is not your responsibility to prevent it? Does that mean 100% of the time kids are not going to go out and do bad things because their parents are doing everything they can to prevent it? Of course not! But I never drank alcohol till I was 21, I never tried smoking or drugs, never cursed and it was all due to the trusting and loving, yet strict home environment I grew up in. There were no excuses. Yes I know not all kids will be like this, but I can guarantee you if more parents were taking more responsibility for their kids, there would be a whole heck of a lot less! I will say too I did finally decide to have sex before marriage, but I made that decision as an educated ADULT who knew all my options and what I wanted out of life and out of the (one) person I was with. The man I'm getting ready to marry does have a four year old daughter, but he too waited until he was an adult to make the decision if he was ready or not. What I'm trying to say is if we raise our children with good morals and understanding of what we as parents expect and even demand from them, they will generally follow our lead. All too often as a teacher I see parents who are so completely uninvolved in their childrens' lives it is as if they only have children in order to say 'oh I have kids!'.
Alright, I'm done with my rant, I just find it hard to believe there are so many parents out there that think 'there is nothing I can do, this is the way of the world now a-days' Well, that's wrong, there is always something you can do for your child's safety, health, and happiness!

Keisha - posted on 03/04/2010

I can't even imagine a parent allowing their child to keep a baby that young. Even going through the pregnancy as a young woman has risks. Being a pre teen thats pregnant is life threatening. Just the statement of the girl saying i'm not going to play with dolls anymore because I have a new toy proves she doesn't understand what being a mom means. I myself am 17 and have a daughter that's going to be 1. I am a good mom but wouldn't want other teens to think that's its easy being a parent. It's hard being a parent no matter your age and I know no matter what your age you can be a good parent. I still feel 11 is an unbelievable age to be a mom. As crazy as this sounds it isn't the first case; the youngest documented case of a child pregnancy was in 1939 in Lima, Peru. Lina Medina was six years old when she became pregnant and gave birth to a baby.

Just thought I'd give my point of view from a teen mom perspective.

Kerrie - posted on 03/03/2010

Ok, while I agree that it is deplorable that the parents could let this sort of thing happen to their child, I would also like to comment about the "not leaving child alone at age 11" thing. I've been staying home alone after school from the time I was about 9 or 10. My parents trusted me to stay home alone and behave the same way I would as if they were home. I was not allowed to have friends over, and if I was caught with friends over, I would have been grounded for it. My parents both worked and the parents of all my friends worked, except for one friends dad, and my parents would rather I stay home alone then go be under the supervision of that dad, but that's because he was nucking futs. Lots of times I would walk to the library and hang out there until my mom got home from work, but that was my decision, not the rule. There were lots of other times I would just hang out, snack, do homework and talk on the phone and watch tv. And in case any of you are wondering, I didn't have sex until I was 17, and that was at my boyfriends house, with his mother home and blissfully unaware of what was going on, so just because kids are in the same house as a parent doesn't mean it's going to stop them from doing what they want. So maybe I was just more trustworthy than the average 10 or 11 year old is these days, or maybe my parents just got lucky, I don't know. I just thought I'd give you my point of view on the matter.

Susanne - posted on 02/20/2010

Yeah sorry i missed the post about her being abused in that case her parents deserve a good slap for leaving their daughter in the position that her uncle could do that to her. I think every parent knows that a child is more likely to be abused by a member of family than a stranger.

Geralyn - posted on 02/19/2010

Both Sarah and Jessica pointed out that the 11-year-old girl was the victim of sexual abuse perpetrated by her step-father, who is being prosecuted. Not too many of you acknowledged that. Perhaps its "easier" to talk about the promiscuous 11-year-old who wasn't supervised by her parents... rather than talking about crimes against children, and how our government on all levels has been ineffective at addressing a problem rampant in society.... Now that's a debate topic.



So yes, given the facts as they are, not as we would like them to be, the little girl should get public assistance to raise her child. Why not? What is she supposed to do, work? She is not even legally old enough to get a job. She is in elementary school... or at least she was... Who knows what will happen to her? She is a victim, the baby is a victim, and they deserve the support of a community that has failed to protect her....

Kate CP - posted on 02/19/2010

You're never going to be able to get all teens to stop having sex. You're never going to be able to get MOST teens to stop having sex. But you CAN educate them and encourage them to make wise choices regarding their bodies and their lives. THAT'S my point. You CAN'T stop them from doing something they are genetically programmed to do, pressured into doing, WANT to do, and CRAVE. Some kids can and do wait and I think that's awesome. But for the most part most can't and don't. But what Sharon said is spot on. Parents aren't involved enough at home and have no clue what's going on most of the time.

Susanne - posted on 02/19/2010

Watch/supervise its all the same thing and cannot realistically be done unless your child never leaves the house alone until their 16 plus. They have a right to a life too and at some point you have to trust that they have enough common sense not to get themselves into trouble. I know where my kids are all the time now because my oldest is only 11 but in 2 or 3 years he will want a lot more freedom to go to his friends house or go swimming with his mates etc. Cant keep them wrapped up in cotton wool the rest of their lives better to teach them the right way to go about things.

Sharon - posted on 02/19/2010

Maybe a parent can't watch a child 24/7 but they sure as hell can make sure they are supervised.

When my kids aren't at home they are in school. If they aren't in school, then they are at a friends house where there is a parent I trust PRESENT.

There are NO closed doors in my house unless someone is getting dressed/undressed.

My yard and property, where the kids play, is NOT conducive to illicit sex.

I NEVER just drop my kids off at the mall, movies etc, without knowing exactly what they are going to be doing and remaining relatively present. Meaning, I'll drop him off at entrance A of the mall and I'll head to entrance B and hang out, shop, drink coffee while he roams with his friends.

If they aren't doing any of those things, then they are at tutoring, soccer practice, guitar practice.

I think the parents ought to be bitch slapped until they pass out for leaving her unattended for so much time.

Jennifer - posted on 02/19/2010

Kate, what I meant is that in the UK soem schools arrange for pupils to have abortions if that's what they want. They're obviously not gonna perform the operation in the school. Sorry I should have made my statement more clear. And here you can get contraceptives at school from the school nurse. Yes it won't stop some of them having sex (the minority) but the majority do actually take notice it's just you don't hear about those people. Kate what do you think would stop in this case pre-teens having sex then?

Traci - posted on 02/18/2010

Wow, if that second link is indeed related, that is incredibly, incredibly sad and my heart aches for that poor girl. How completely awful.

Kate CP - posted on 02/18/2010

Jennifer, SCHOOLS do not give out abortions. I don't even know where you would get that idea. It's a school, not a medical facility. They can't dispense medication or perform medical procedures. And the schools that DO provide contraceptives put in dispensers in the bathrooms for condoms.

I agree that if a person is too embarrassed to buy condoms then they shouldn't be having sex. HOWEVER, that doesn't frickin' stop them, does it?

Michelle - posted on 02/18/2010

I have 3 daughters. My oldest daughter is 11 and has already started menstruating and has small breasts and is as tall as me with bigger feet! She had the birds and bees talk many years ago. And about 12 months ago I went into a bit more involved than when she was about 8 for the first one. I think we need to talk to our children not necessarily about sex when they are younger, but they are usually curious as to where babies come from. And as they get older we need to inform them about sex and other such matters. It is important to be age appropriate. You wouldn't tell a 5 year old the same thing that you would tell a 10 year old. And also you wouldn't tell a 10 year old the same thing that you would a 15 year old either. My oldest daughter is very much aware of what the consequences are having unprotected sex, and thankfully isn't at all interested in boys at the moment. I am sure in a few years time it will all change. She has 3 year old twins sisters, so she knows what it entails having not just one baby in the house but two. So I think that has totally put her off having a baby anytime soon. My parents were older, more prudish we don't talk about sex kind of parents. My mum gave me the body changes/getting a period talk, which I was so grateful for. But sex was never discussed. I want all 3 of my kids not to feel embarassed to chat to my hubby and I about it. Though I can imagine I will ended up being the one to talk about it. As a parent you don't want to think of your kids as having sexually feelings and how they go about expressing them. I was always brought up to wait to have sex before getting married. Even though that didn't happen. I won't be upset if my girls don't wait until they are married. But they need to be totally aware of the situation and who they are with, and be responsible for their actions. And a big thing is not to do or be involved in anything that they are not comfortable with. Pressure from the partner to do something that they don't want to do is a big no no!

Jenny - posted on 02/18/2010

I am helping my daughter prepare now for dealing with sexual issues. At 7 she knows the life cycle and knows what contraceptives are. She knows a sperm from a male and an egg from a female combine to make a baby but we have not gotten into the mechanics of how that happens. As she ages I will give her more info and will always answer her questions openly and HONESTLY. I will not sugarcoat things and will stress how important responsible sex is and that abstinance is an option as well.



I know kids shouldn't be having sex if they are not responsible enough to buy contraceptives or deal with the consequences but it's happening anyways. They will go behind our backs or otherwise find a way for it to happen if that is what their mind is set on.



There is a growing trend in my area of 11 and 12 year olds trading blow jobs for drugs. Many kids think oral sex or anal sex is safer than vaginal sex and does not require the same level of protection. I think parents should put their embarrasment of the subject aside and get those kids protected as best we can as they are not doing it themselves.

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2010

I think there's a difference between having a "boyfriend/girlfriend" at 11 and being sexually active at 11. I didn't even kiss a boy til i was 11. I didn't have sex til i was 16 and a half.
I think the fact that my mum was very open about the whole subject and was clear that losing your virginity is a HUGE deal and you want it to be special kept me from doing anything sooner. (My first time was very special and lovely BTW! lol)

However, if my wonderful "talks" with my daughters don't work to keep them from being sexually active, i will also encourage them to be open about what's going on, that i would rather they were "safe than sorry". I would much rather put my girls on some sort of contraceptive and give them condoms than to be a Grandmother far too soon or dealing with STD's! :)

Jennifer - posted on 02/18/2010

Then again some schools do offer contraceptives and abortions without parents knowing and the teen pregnancy rates continue to rise, so does it do any good?

Jennifer - posted on 02/18/2010

It's very different in the UK. Children have sex education from around 11 years old. All the information is given as to where you can access free contraception which I think is great but giving them out in schools is just inappropriate. Yes I can see your point children will often do the opposite of what you say but that doesn't mean they shouldn't take some responsibility for their own health. I'm very sorry to hear that your mam acted in that way Sarah, it was irresponsible of her as a parent. I've always been open with my mam about contraceptives but over here healthcare is all free so money didn't come into it and even if it did I'm sure she would have paid for me.

Susanne - posted on 02/18/2010

I agree with Sarah I know of someone whose mother never explained anything to her wouldnt discuss it at all. She ended up getting raped by a boy when she was 16 because she didnt understand what was going on til it was too late. This was a long time ago and she was very naive but i believe we have to be open and honest with our kids and help to keep them safe.

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2010

Jennifer, when I was sixteen I sat my mom down to have the talk. The talk in which I asked her to take me to the gyno because I learned in health class I should probably be having a pelvic exam sometime soon. I was not having sex, nor was I considering having sex. Do you know what my mom told me? She told me that when I was old enough to need to do something like that I would be old enough to pay for it and do it by myself.

I felt ashamed and embarrassed and SHOCKED because I thought my mom and I had a great, open relationship. From that point on, I quit coming to her with my problems and know what? I felt so ashamed and embarrassed, that I didn't buy contraceptives when I started having sex. I had a lot of unprotected sex with a lot of people. Obviously, I knew the risks of it. I learned about it in school, and even some of it from my mom but for some reason... I just didn't care.

It's unfortunate, but a lot of parents have that attitude. And where it gets us, as a community, is rife with teen pregnancies and STIs. Anyway, my point is that just because someone is too immature to do something, like have sex, doesn't mean they're not going to do it. I think it makes them more likely to do it, honestly.

Susanne - posted on 02/18/2010

Saying your daughter cant have a boyfriend until shes 16 is unrealistic. All its going to do is make her sneak around behind your back and when she needs to talk to someone about her problems guess who she wont talk to? You cant control what they do 24 hours a day when they are say 13 plus especially when they have friends that are willing to cover for them.

Jennifer - posted on 02/18/2010

If teens are "too embarrassed" to buy contraceptives then they're obviously too immature to have sex.

Kate CP - posted on 02/17/2010

Most teens are too embarrassed to buy contraceptives which is why we should provide them in the schools.

And, yes, as a parent I'll know when my daughter starts menstruating. Not entirely sure what your point is, but, yes, I'll know. And you should WARN the poor girl about her period before she comes to you with blood in her underwear. I've known women who's mothers never told them until after they had started their periods. As young girls they genuinely thought they were dying.

Michelle - posted on 02/17/2010

You, as a parent, will know when your daughter gets her period. Someone has to buy the pads or you will see the stained underwear if she doesn't come to you. Then it is perfectly acceptable to explain what that is. I am not saying i think my daughter or son will wait until they are married. I too would be shocked. I want to be the one to explain to them these things, not some teacher i don't even know. I want my daughter to come to me b/c i don't want her only using condoms i would want to put her on birth controll. I bet you most of the pregnant teens know about contraceptives, but don't use them. They are not mature enough to make these choices. Even if a kid is taught, you can get pregnant the first time, if they hear from their friends otherwise they will believe what they want.

Joan - posted on 02/16/2010

i know i am not a prude but i told my kids they cannot date until they are 16. i want them to have a good sense of who they may be before they become swayed by anothers influence.i think kids are allowed to grow up way too fast today.

Kate CP - posted on 02/16/2010

Michelle, I had my period when I was 10 years old. That means at the age of 10 I could have gotten pregnant. Now, had I NOT known that, NOT been told about *what* sex was or how it worked or when a person should engage in it, how the hell would I have known at the age of 10 that doing something that feels really good could be a really, REALLY bad idea? THAT is why children younger than 11 and 12 should know some things about sex.

In an ideal world kids WOULD go to their parents and parents would be open and honest and non-judgmental while answering questions about sex. But, kids DON'T go to their parents a lot of the time and when they do their parents don't tell them anything other than "Don't have sex until you're married". Telling a kid not to do something with no explanation other than "God and I will be upset" is usually not very effective. That is why some one, I don't care WHO, but some one needs to teach kids all about sex and not just give them the same lame line of "Wait until marriage".

I'll be honest: I don't expect my daughter to wait until she's married to have sex. I'll actually be kinda shocked if she does (not UPSET just shocked). But I do expect her to be smart, to use two kinds of protection and to tell me about it because I will always be open, honest, and non-judgmental.

Jenny - posted on 02/16/2010

While it may not be ok for "kids" this age to experience sexual activity it is happening. I lost my virginity when I was 12 by my choice. I was babysitting and invited my boyfriend over. My mother never had a clue. It is not about parents "letting" it happen, it is about giving your kids the tools to make smart decisions. I knew all about the reproductive cycle and used a condom which I purchased myself at the pharmacy. While thinking back it may have been better to wait until older but it happens all the time. So we do we continue to cover our eyes and ears or do we do our best to keep our "kids" responsible about it?

Meghan - posted on 02/16/2010

I wanst allowed to have a boyfriend until I was 16 years old...and neither will our daughter...I think there are more importantthings to worry about when you are that young than boys and having babies...I hated my mom for making that rule thenbut I am really glad now that I am older...I think it saved alot of heartache and grief...

Michelle - posted on 02/16/2010

kate, people should teach their own children about sex and contraceptives. And why the hell do kids younger than 11 and 12 need to know ANYTHING about sex? It is NOT okay for CHILDREN this young to be engaged in sexual activity. It is no business of the schools to tell my children it is ok to have sex. I want MY kids coming to me and telling me about it and asking me what kind of birth control to use. My school did not teach abstinence only in school and it was a joke. There is NO proof that teaching abstinence only directly causes higher teen pregnancy. There are only corrolations. If you think about it society's growing blahzay attitute towards sex and our country's "its not my responsibility" thinking also directly correlates to higher teen pregnancy. look at young girls' role models, paris hilton? miley cyrus? BRITTNEY SPEARS?! but nobody holds them accountable for their actions and how they have merchandise directed at preteen and teen girls. Because, hey, Brittney never wanted to be a rolemodel. It is time for parents to take the reings in raising their children. And america's attitude toward sex and pregnancy is getting more and more bizzare. You need to sign a concent form for your child to take asprin but people are lobbying to allow underage girls to get abortions without parental consent.

Jessica - posted on 02/16/2010

Sara, thank you for reminding everyone that there are other things going on here. I haven't fact checked it but apparently she was being molested by her mother's boyfriend or her step father. Here is a possibly related story http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metr...



I also have to agree with Kate. Teaching absitnence only is a moral choice and not necessairly best practice. However, if I were a school district I would probably not be willing to take on the liability of teaching other methods. I may be wrong but I believe that we can pretty much agree that as parents it is our responsibility to teach our children our values around sex in the "teach a child the way he should walk" model.



Honestly, as a parent this whole thing scares the crappy-doo out of me. I cannot wrap my head around thinking about my son as a sexual being. I hope that I have given and continue to give him the tools that he needs to go into adolescense able to make right choices for himself. Whatever this little girl and her family decide to do she has a long road ahead of her. In any situation the decision to parent or adopt is not easy. I think that this situation there are additional concerns for the emotional health and safety of both of these children. The mother child could not have the emotional or intellectual maturity to fully comprehend what is going on. Add on to that the apparent possibility that she and baby are now in the foster care system. While child protection has a hard and relativly thankless job research shows that bing in foster care has long term effect on the children's emotional and intellectual health and development.

Susanne - posted on 02/16/2010

Firstly this girls parents need a huge slap what the hell were they thinking letting a girl of that age get pregnant! I have a 11 year old and i know where he is and what hes doing 99% of the time and when i dont hes only a phone call away. He has a girlfriend which hes been dating on off for three years but its a playground romance they play kisschase out the yard and thats as serious as it gets. My son knows all about sex, stds and babies etc and has done for many years. You cant leave it to schools these days to teach them about it because children grow up so quick.

Kate CP - posted on 02/15/2010

you didn't hear stories about girls this young getting pregnant when they were only teaching abstinence in schools. Parents need to be more involved in their child's life. I dont understand how she was even alone with a boy to have sex with him in the first place. where were her parents?

Good Day! - posted on 02/15/2010

Michelle, girls this young have gotten pregnant in every generation. I would be willing to put money on that. Fortunatly, it is pretty rare, which is why it is a shock when we hear about it.

And Sarah, you are very right. That could have been the case. We don't know.

Sarah - posted on 02/15/2010

I would like to bring to everyone's attention that they do not mention who the father of the baby is. Almost everyone here is assuming she had a boyfriend when that very easily could not be the case.

While it's a disgusting thought, there's a distinct possibility that a family member is the father of her child. An uncle, an older cousin, her grandfather or even her father. Perhaps she was sexually assaulted by the father of one of her friends whose house she frequents or maybe by her gym teacher or sports coach. We don't know. Maybe she was doing exactly what she was supposed to be doing when this happened.

Michelle - posted on 02/15/2010

you didn't hear stories about girls this young getting pregnant when they were only teaching abstinence in schools. Parents need to be more involved in their child's life. I dont understand how she was even alone with a boy to have sex with him in the first place. where were her parents?

Jennifer - posted on 02/15/2010

Gillian yes that's how I meant my comment to come across. I don't think an 11 year old should be left at home alone. When I was 11 years old my sister was 15 years old but we still had a babysitter until she was 16 years old if it was late at night. If it was during the day for my mam to pop to the shops my sister was allowed to look after me. But when my sister was 11 years old she certainly wasn't left home alone whether I was there or not.

Lady - posted on 02/15/2010

My interpritation of Jennifer's post was that an 11 year old should not be left alone in the house not that they should be watched every single second. If you are even just in a different room of the house then children are much less likely to get up to something they shouldn't.
When I was growing up if I had a boy in my room the door always had to be left open, that certainly stopped things going further than they should!

Jessica - posted on 02/15/2010

I don't know, perhaps I am mininterperting your statement. At 11 I think that kids are gaining more responsibility and need to start having unsupervised activities for short periods of time in controlled settings. Also, it is neither practical nor purposful to supervise an 11 yo at home all the time. I read this that you suggest providing the same level of supervision to an 11 yo as you would to a 2 yo. Which brings up an enritely new point of; when did we begin to feel this unsafe in our homes? I can guarntee that my parents and grandparents did not feel this way. What changed that?

Jennifer - posted on 02/15/2010

That's shocking! An 11 year old should never be unsupervised at home so where on earth did it happen? School? I highly doubt it. In this case I think the parents are to blame.

Lady - posted on 02/06/2010

I agree with you Jessica the world is a very different place to when we were that age.

Jessica - posted on 02/06/2010

First, sorry about the link, not sure what happened there.

Second, I see where you are coming from with them having "boy/girl friends" at that age. I see that through the lens I have now not the one I had at 11 which mostly just wanted to make mud pies and play with my cat.

Third, opening the can of worms because I haven't followed the story. How much of this is lack of parenting and how much of this is parental naiveté? I would never dream that my son (11), who has some female friends, would take sexual exploration to this level. As such I allow him to run around with them in the same way I was when I was his age. So, looking at what we allow our children to be exposed to in the media and who they, especially girls, have as role models in the media should we be surprised when these things happen.

Lady - posted on 02/06/2010

Having an 11 year old myself I find this completley shocking. He doesn't have girlfriends but I know if he did it would be a school playgroung romance like mentioned above. He knows the facts of life but is in no way ready to put them into action and I know where he is and who he's with at all times. Thankfully as I'm a stay at home mum I'm always here when he comes home from school I read somewhere that most teenage pregnancies happen between the hour of 4 and 6 when the children arive home from school before their parents and are left unsupervised. But no 11 year old should ever be left alone. I feel really sorry for her she's just a baby still herself and should have been more protected, I hope there will be people who will be looking out for her and the baby now.

Good Day! - posted on 02/05/2010

Children younger than 11 have "boyfriends" and "girlfriends". I taught fourth grade. They have them. Not in the sense that you or I think. The mostly will sit with each other at lunch and giggle. And then a week later they will break up. I see no harm in that. Its children mimacking what they see adults do. Learning through play.

The issue here is that the parents were not vigilant in knowing where their daughter was at all times. I'm not saying your 11 year old has to be within your sight at all times. I'm saying that if the 11 year old is not home the parents should know exactly where they are and who the adult in charge is. Parents not paying attention is probably how this girl got pregnant.

One of my favorite girls was caught with a condom in her purse at school. Her next door neighbor was 15 and they "talked" (according to her) all the time. She looked much older than she was (very developed). I think the fact that she was well developed and talking to older boys should be a giant red flag to her parents. Unfortunatly I don't think it was.

Kelsey - posted on 02/05/2010

No, an 11 year old shouldnt have relationships like that yet. I think its just plain wrong. Noone needs to date at that age. Nomatter how wonderful the kid is, they need to save adult issues for a time when they are much closer to being an actual adult. They dont know themselves yet. If my daughter wanted to have a bf at 11, I would explain to her why it isnt right, and ask her to wait till shes at least 13, hopefully even older. If she insisted on having a bf, and I felt I could trust him, his family, and her, I wouldnt dictate her life, but I certainly wouldnt encourage it. I had a bf at 11, I cant say its always wrong, but in general, I dont like it. When your kids are that old, there is a certain amount of freedom you need to give them. I dont agree with running their lives for them. They still need guidance and boundries, but they have the right to make their own mistakes and live their life. The real issue with the prgnant 11 year old isnt having a bf, its that she actually had sex!!! Thats amazing! Where were her parents? I would assume she never had very good parents if she was doing these things at this early an age! They probobly let her do whatever she wanted. I dont think having a bf, even a bad one, would cause that. Its the parenting this child was or wasnt getting that concerns me.

Good Day! - posted on 02/05/2010

No parents can't watch an 11 year old 24/7. But they should know where they are and who they are with at all times. During the day they are at school, under supervision of teachers. After school they may go down the street to a friends' house, under the supervision of another set of parents.

Alison - posted on 02/05/2010

11 yo's have no business getting boyfriends, but surely parents can't watch their children 24/7. Plus we don't know if this girl and others like her might have been sexually assulted and not told anyone. I feel so sorry for this girl and I can't even comprehend the emotional impact that having a baby at 11 will have on her. I feel sorry for the baby too.