Having a Third Child...not "green" anymore...

Meghan - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 158 moms have responded )

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Pamela Paul wants a third child.

Writing in the Washington Post about her desire to have a “sprawling” family like the one she grew up in—“with seven brothers, real and step”—Paul mused about the high cost of raising a child these days: $204,060 according to a new federal estimate.

In many expensive American cities and suburbs, Paul noted, a third child has become “an ostentatious display of good fortune,” on behalf of the decreasing number of parents who can afford to feed, clothe, and educate the “luxury good” known as baby number three.

But while Paul considered the economic impact of having a third child, some irate readers excoriated her about what they say is the environmental impact of a bigger family.

“The oceans are dying, the oil is almost gone,” wrote one reader. “Large families are criminally irresponsible in such a desperate time.”

“More than two kids per couple means you are not just replacing yourself on the planet,” wrote another. “You are claiming more of the Earth’s resources for your family simply because it will be ‘fun.’”

Selfish…stupid…killing the planet with your overproduction of children. The baby shower of criticism stunned Paul, who wondered in a follow-up article why she—who viewed herself as a responsible mother who recycled, conserved water, and didn’t even have a car—was being accused of “destroying” another mother: Earth. “Golly,” Paul wrote. “I’m not even pregnant yet.”

“The days of big families should be over,” responded a critic. “Get a dog from an animal shelter instead.”

Tell us what you think: Do you believe that having a third child brings the pitter-patter of little feet, or the destructive carbon footprint of the future? When it comes to having more children, is three an irresponsible crowd?

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158 Comments

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Carly - posted on 02/24/2010

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I agree with Leatonya. If God wanted us to stop having kids He would. As some one who comes from a LARGE family (my great grandfater was one of 16, my husband's aunt has 18) I say the more you have the more love to go around.

Amber - posted on 02/24/2010

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I think it's discusting that people think it's their business to tell others how many children to raise! Maybe if some of these idiots would go jump off a cliff, then the economy would be better! If you care about the planet, then you'd know that childbirth is natural and meant to be! If you want to fix the economy then plant gardens, and buy local produce to support our farmers, instead of sending money to other countries. Walk places, instead of climbing your lazy self into a car! Or don't have kids yourself, because the rest of us aren't going to limit our families for you!

Caitlin - posted on 02/24/2010

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This article is BEYOND ridiculous. There are things that a LOT more harmful to the environment that children. Heck, if you want to get technical, many neighborhoods, including my own, have decided to plant trees and reserves spaces close to residential areas (basically parks) to accommodate the growing number of children in the neighborhood. So, in this way, more children are good! I have one daughter already and would love to have more, children are such a precious gift, and we should not plan our families around what a few radical people claim MAY be happening. Again, ridiculous.

Alison - posted on 02/24/2010

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I agree that it is unfair to attack others for having a 3rd child. I must point out however that the argument that some people have no children or that some children die young is an ignorant one. Our world population is growing daily. Let's stick to real arguments.

My argument is this one: if more people would raise responsible, caring children, the whole planet would be better off. So the right to have more than children should be reserved to the awesomest of parents! :P
(I am not among that number)

And Carol, you are awesome too!!!

Heather - posted on 02/24/2010

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Well on the flip side you could argue it's irrisponsible to not have a whole gaggle of children. We're going to need as many workers as possible to repay all this debt we owe.

Crystal - posted on 02/24/2010

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I think this article is a bunch of BS!!!!! I only have one child, but who knows what the future brings, what God has instore for me. If its to have alot of children, so be it. What people should be concentrating on is all the people who keep having kids, and dont take care of them, ex: people on welfare who have more kids to get more money every month!, i live in a high-poverty area, and i see it happening all the time. And the only reason its high-poverty is because the people would rather get money once a month from the gvt then actually work! And to Carol S, just because people have more then 2 kids does not mean that they are not envirmentaly conscience. I know a lady here who, in her life time between her birth kids and adoption has had 70 kids! they are the happiest and most consicene people i met! ALL of those kids have done something with themselves and lead good lives!!!!

Lindsay - posted on 02/24/2010

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WOW!!! Since when has having a family been an issue. I dont even know what to say about this. Whats next, they suggest that we all live in mud huts and run around naked because its "more green". Yes the world has a problem, but if everyone does their part it will get better.

Stacey - posted on 02/24/2010

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i don't believe anyone has a right to tell you how many children you should have or that your hurting the planet by doing so i seriously doubt a blessing from the lord will do more damage then one more factory or volcano exploding could do. i say to the ladys out there who want to populate the earth go right ahead maybe one of those beautiful babys will have the answer to the choas in this world! and shame on anyone who says different if our parents thought that way we wouldnt be here!!!

Amanda - posted on 02/24/2010

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So critics are playing God again, and trying to tell us having too many children will hurt the environment. I completely disagree, as a mother of 4. It won't take any more oil to heat my house because there are more of us. If some choose to have more children, their chice MUST be respected, and as earlier mentioned, maybe my 3rd or 4th child will solve critical environmental problems. Oh, and we did adopt a dog from a shelter- for my 4 children. This whole debate strikes me as rediculous! Don't we have enough problems without trying to condemn large families? I think that I will take care of MY children, and and those with issues, they don't have to have any kids at all....

Jessy - posted on 02/24/2010

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If each of those 3 children has 3 children of their own then you are certainly contributing to the population explosion and using far more resources in each subsequent generation. If you can financially afford to raise your children no matter how many that is, without government assistance, then you are probably intelligent enough to know how to teach your children to live green and help preserve the earth.

Kayla - posted on 02/24/2010

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Holy geez! And I thought hippies were all about "spreading the love"... Plus, there are a lot of people in the world who choose not to have children, or are unable and never adopt. So couldn't you say that the larger families just balance out the ones who only have 1 or none?

Shalaina - posted on 02/24/2010

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Wow! This is ridiculous! I am ALL for recycling, saving electricity, and am very avid about it (plus I also agree about saving animals from shelters!!). BUT, I would never say not to have more than two kids so you 'go green'. That is your choice to make. Big families are great. My brother in law has 6 sisters and they are all amazing.As long as there is enough love and you are able to care for as many as you want, that's what matters. Even though I only want one....it is not about my carbon footprint. It is a personal choice. I do not think this article will sway anyone (I sure hope not, anyhow) I do, however, think it will offend many people, I know as a mother it does me.

Like Ashley said, my second one is up for grabs =)

Rebecca - posted on 02/24/2010

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I have 3 children. Andrew is 22y, in the US ARMY currently in IRAQ.
Bella is 3y, and Liam is 2y. yes.. they are 11m apart.

My mom had 3, my sister has 2, my brother has 2... We had what we had what we could afford and handle. If you can support and give your children the nurturing they need to be a good person in today society... GO FOR IT...

NOW... OCTOMOM.. THAT WOMAN SHOULD HAVE HER UTERUS TAKEN OUT. SHE SHOULD HAVE HER CHILDREN TAKEN AWAY... THE DR THAT DID IT SHOULD HAVE HIS LICENSE TAKEN AWAY...

THAT WOMAN AND OTHERS LIKE HER, JOHN & KATE, AND THOSE OTHERS WHO WHORE & EXPLOITE THEIR CHILDREN SHOULD BE SHOT !

THOSE PPL ARE COMMITTING GROSS ABUSE AND NEGLECT TO THEIR CHILDREN ALL FOR THE SAKE OF $$$$$$$$$$$$$$!

Jennifer - posted on 02/24/2010

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I was happy to have two kids and be done. So when baby number three popped up while I was on birth control, I was not as happy as one might be when expecting a bundle of joy. Now four years later, I can't imagine life without him. However, to say that people who have more than two children are irresponsible, Earth killers is a bit extreme. If you can financially support your family in a responsible environmentally friendly, then go for it. Tell me that hand me downs aren't a GREAT way of recycling, not to mention handing down toys rather than throwing them away after a few uses. This critic should take out his or her rants out on those who continue to have children and can't take care of them.

Leatonya - posted on 02/24/2010

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i think its retarded to think about this! God gives you what he wants you to have and each child is a blessing!!! period!

Kim - posted on 02/24/2010

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Gosh!!! I cannot believe what I am reading here! We have 3 kids and only had a 3rd as our first 2 are boys and now we have the wee girl we were all wanting (inc my boys)!

Ashley - posted on 02/24/2010

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That being said, thus far, I only have one, so, anyone, my second is up for dibs. You know, since we're concerned about the earth at this point. Really now, the earth has made it this far, any impact that were to occur would be farther from now than I can even consider, and the earth will still make it, as per usual. That's the miracle of mothers. They survive. Even mother nature.

Janeen - posted on 02/24/2010

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If anything, I think my 3rd child has made us a more environmentally friendly family. In trying to conserve money, we have also aided in conserving our planet.. We make our own Organuc Laundry soap and cleaners, use reusable lunch bags and containers for the kids' lunches, we recycle, compost our veggie scraps to use in the garden to make more veggies, and are in the process of starting a 4 acre homestead in order to become more self sufficient and provide our own meat and eggs. I doubt we would have done all this without having to provide 3 college educations. I say, if you want a large family, there is nothing wrong with it as long as you are teaching your children good values!

Ashley - posted on 02/24/2010

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I don't think having a third child is ungreen. If you can support them and give them the love that they deserve. Then I don't see any reason why she should not have a third child. I have two children of my own, and decided against having a third. I wish I could have a third with my husband, but my body could not handle anymore pain. Now I have two wonderful little boys and a great step-daughter. Three wonderful nieices.

Ashley - posted on 02/24/2010

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Gonna have to go with the consensus that...not everyone is able, nor even wants to have children, and further, statistically, the death rate should be figured in as well as the fact that many only have one. Life WAS created for "fun". Anyone who wants to oppose that and thinks that I shouldn't further give life and create that happiness is not someone who's opinion matters to me.

Jennifer - posted on 02/24/2010

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I have 3 so i guess i am with most people on this post

Amy - posted on 02/24/2010

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Who in there right mind as any right to tell someone how many kids they can/should. That is just rediculous. I say have as many want you, forget what others have to say about it

Leyla - posted on 02/24/2010

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are you really serious? i think it irresponsible and quite stupid an action as an adult to question another family's size or upbringing of their children.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/24/2010

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i say have as many as you want as long as you are living good by the earth. we're going to get hit by a comet anyway!

Jennifer - posted on 02/24/2010

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Christine we have an "ageing population" which means there are more younger people than older people because the birth rates continue to rise. The population doesn't stay level.

Sharon - posted on 02/24/2010

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HURRAH Carol!

Johnny - posted on 02/24/2010

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Besides, it is not really just about how a family has a large or small footprint when those kids are children. Our kids do grow up to consume resources as adults and procreate the next generation. Every extra person on this planet means that more products must be manufactured (meaning more industrial emission), more food must be grown (more forests converted to farmland), and more vehicles on the road and in the air. If you look at population statistics, there has been a sudden huge jump in the last 100 years. It is not balancing out at all. No amount of reusing, recycling, and buying second-hand can mitigate the environmental cost of each extra person. People all over the world should aim to just replace themselves, and go no further. I do not advocate rules or laws governing how many children people have. I advocate personal responsibility. I would just like people to think outside of their own wants for a little bit and consider what impact each extra child has on our world. All of our children's futures are at stake.

Jenny - posted on 02/24/2010

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Christine if it balanced out our world population would remain the same. It is rising very quickly.

Christine - posted on 02/24/2010

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Seriously, where do people come up with this crap. Doesn't it all balance out some how with the deaths vs births or those who have kids vs those who don't?
I have 3 kids and if I had my mom around for some added help, I would have considered a 4th. I'm more concerned with the financial stability, global safety and health care future that are in store for my kids than anything else.
It was only a couple hundred years ago we were tossing human waste in the streets because we didn't get the importance of sanitation and burning all kinds of junk polluting the air. We know what happens now and we are learning new ways all the time to conserve and recycle to make life better. So the 6 little feet in my life are not a destructive carbon footprint, they are the future generation that will continue to make or find improvements to make life better and healthier.

Sharon - posted on 02/24/2010

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I have 4 kids, real & step - 5 if you count the step step child. I didn't bring all the kids into this world but I care about all of them.

I wouldn't change a thing, I did what I did for myself and for the love of my husband and the great sex.

But - I don't think we can all be blind to what the future holds. Look at China. So prosperous (sorta) and they had to resort to "culling" (hurl) and passing a law for one child only.

Don't be fooled. Someday (not really any time soon) it will happen to America, Australia, Canada too.

I agree withone point. There are many people opting to NOT have children at all. Frankly I feel sad for those people but inside there is a little part of me yelling "yay! more for me!" yeah its weird.

Lady - posted on 02/24/2010

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Jenny if anything then we should feel more guilty living in a first world country after all the mess the planets in is mostley our fault. We are now the ones that have to take resposabilty to fix it. We've been through our industrial revolution, we have the resorces to make things cleaner and more efficiant and help the second and third world countries move on. I think it's very easy to pick one group and say they are responsable while ignoring the bigger issues.The airline industry being a perfect example - we are told we should all fly less and eat food that's not been flown over where in fact airoplane emissions only count for a tiny amount of the carbon output overall. I'm not quite sure of the exact figures but it's something rediculous like if the industrial emissions were cut by as little as 1/2 a percent then it would be the equivelate of no aircrafts flying at all. People having more than two children is just another easy target as far as I'm conserned.

Pam - posted on 02/23/2010

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I have 3 children and I cannot see how my decision on how many children I have affects anyone else, I agree with the comments the more children you have the more frugal you are, we don't have takeaways, we recycle, use hand me downs and when we have finished with the clothes we pass them on to other people who can use it, we only have one car, that article was a load of crap

Jenny - posted on 02/23/2010

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Also, I want to add the reason it is so much easier for us to feel guilt free is because we live in first world countries.

Jenny - posted on 02/23/2010

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It's not just about reducing, reusing and recycling. It's about not needing to produce the goods the first time around. We'll need to feed, clothe, house and take care of Billions, with a capital B, more people than we currently have within OUR lifetime. It's not a North America problem at all. This a problem for the entire planet.

Shelby - posted on 02/23/2010

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I'm with Gillian here, I mean certainly of all the things going on, the biggest problem to the Earth is people like me? Well, I feel guilt free, although I'm not the "greenest" person I do admit...I still reuse and small things like that, but several people in my family have no kids, and several have 1...so we're even.

Lady - posted on 02/23/2010

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I'm sorry but I find it hard to believe that me having four children is what is harming our planet when in parts of America even the smallest corner shop has the biggest neon sign blazing out front twenty four hous a day, when Las vagas is lit up so brightly you can almost see it from space. And it's not just America, London and Tokyo have massive billboards wasting vast amounts of energy and huge factories pumping out toxic fumes. Maybe if all that changes then I'll consider the impact my excess children could cause but at the moment it must be so small to be laughable.

Just out of interst not to be argumentative what does the OP think of the arguments put forward so far about bigger families actually learning to be more frugal and evironmentally aware, recycling, reusing and trying hard to be as green as possable?

Adri - posted on 02/23/2010

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I am with Carol and Jenny on this one. They said it best so I don't need to add anything more other than we recycle, try to save water, use earth friendly products, and have only two kids. Just trying to do my part.

Jenny - posted on 02/23/2010

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I agree with Carol. Of course noone would ever say to give up your kids that over "the limit". It may not seem like one family with, for example, four kids makes a large environmental impact and that is true. It's the hundreds of thousands of families with four kids that does the damage. Our population is exploding and we are truly ruining everything natural we have here. Humans are currently a plague but we don't have to be if we live sustainable lifestyles and stop overpoulating as a whole.

Look at this chart http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:World-... We were doing good till about 1960. If we are having difficulties caring for all of us now how are we going to be able to handle double the population in 20 years? US health care won't even be settled by then (ha ha).

I also do what I can on an individual basis. I'm not a tree hugging hippie either, I just feel very connected to my planet as I spend alot of time on it lol. We are very outdoorsy people and spend alot of time in deep nature. I wonder, and I'm generalising here obviously, if maybe city dwellers do not really see the impact as much being so detatched from nature except for the man made green spaces.

I shut down the baby factory at two kids and if I desire a third I will also adopt.

Chatty - posted on 02/23/2010

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Tell us what you really think Charlene! LOL! " a rat's hairy be-hind! "......too funny!

Charlene - posted on 02/23/2010

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I really don't give a rat's hairy be-hind what some green peace extremist thinks about MY decisions in regards to MY family.

We just have the one so far, but I definitely want another one and if the second one isn't a boy, then we will try for a third time.

Just because a person has three kids, it doesn't mean that they don't care about the environment.

It really bugs me when people think that they have a right to tell you that you are a terrible person because they think that you are killing the environment. Too many of these activists are condescending and think that only their way of living is the right way. They don't even take into consideration the things that you DO do for the earth.



I do as much as I can to lessen my carbon footprint. I have a small, fuel efficient car that I rarely drive, anytime I shower, it's for five minutes or less, a lot of my daughter's clothes are second hand, we use cold water for our laundry, energy saving light bulbs and plenty more. We even have rules on when the lights in our house can be on. One thing we don't have is a clothes line, because of the bylaws against them in my area, but we are lobbying to have it changed. Now.. if I didn't care about the environment, do you think I would bother?

Jennifer - posted on 02/23/2010

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At the end of the day it's up to the individual family what they do and how many children they have. My husband and I only want 2 children because we'll be able to offer them so much more than if we had 3 or 4 children. I was 1 of 2 sisters and we had holidays, the oppurtunity to do things such as dancing lessons etc. and lots of treats whilst my husband who is 1 of 4 has never been on a family holiday at all! I just wanna provide my children the best we can.

Amy - posted on 02/23/2010

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lol. sorry. to compare a dog to a child? HA. live on a farm. that dog can't help run a combine or milk the cows - who provide food for the rest of the people living "green". As far as replacing ourselves - please. People die young all the time and look at all the CHILDREN who don't reach adulthood due to freak diseases and cancer now. much higher rate than years ago. And at the rate that people are eating McDonalds and junk food....they'll keel out early anyway.

As far as "affording" children: We barely made it when we worked two jobs - because we had all these luxuries - new car, cable, harley, new truck, hobbies, etc. Now that we have children, we are on one income - he makes the same as he did before - and we have money left over because we ditched the excess. NOW - we go on more walks, less car rides, less takeout, less "Stuff" that leaves that darn footprint. having more kids forces you to be frugal - to the point of insanity, but frugal. i used more diposable junk and drove around more when i was single. maybe single people should all have kids so they'd leave less of their own footprints. :)

Brittanie - posted on 02/22/2010

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Well, I have 4 kids so obviously I don't agree with the article...and would agree with whomever pointed out that some people have none...so I would say that evens things out.

Johnny - posted on 02/22/2010

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I agree with the article. I would love to and could probably afford more that 2 children, but I choose not to due to my beliefs about the impact of overpopulation on the environment. If we do decide to have more kids, we will definitely be adopting. We are extremely environmentally conscious as a family, and try to live our life with the smallest footprint possible. Every year we make new goals about how to lower our impact. No matter how conscientious an environmentalist one may be, every new person on this earth consumes already precarious resources. I want to protect future generations. I know that the environment is very unimportant to most people, and it makes me very sad.

Wanda - posted on 02/22/2010

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What if the second child turns out to be twins, triplets or more? Are you supposed to put a couple up for adoption just so you can stay "green"?



I only have one and will most likely only have the one. If you have the means to care for them, then have all the kids you want. Not "green"....what a load of BS.

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2010

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Give me a break!! The whole article is crap, the 3rd child is much cheaper than the first 2, why? Because we learn fast that brand name clothes are not needed, all those fancy electronics are not needed. Second seriously?? Carbon foot print issues?? What if that 3rd child is the one that figures out the cure for AIDS, Cancer, or even figures out how to repair the earth?



Well I guess I dont care about the earth, as we are waiting on the go head to try for number 4. I best stop reusing, recycling, and donating unused stuff, oh thank goodiness no garden this year to keep care of LOL.

Shelby - posted on 02/22/2010

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This irritates me. I have 5 so obviously it would. There are WAYYY bigger problems impacting mother Earth than my 5 children. How about we fix those first before we start directing people on reproduction. How dare someone tell me thats it right or wrong for me to have as many children as I have when they have absolutely nothing in it. They don't pay for them, They are not a menace to society. I think people take things a little too far as if its any of their business at all. I'll admit, that when women continue to have children that are on welfare and the state pays for them, that comes out of the tax payers dollar...Bitch away. Yet, for it being "not green enough" Give me a break.

Amy - posted on 02/22/2010

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I also have a friend who had 12 kids. And they planned every single one. They are the greatest people I know and I find myself calling her when I need parenting advice. I don't know what their carbon footprint looks like but I do know every single one of those kids is loved and taken care of.

Carolee - posted on 02/22/2010

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I'm pregnant with #2, and hubby and I are planning on when we might like #3. Everybody's so touchy about every single subject... I just don't listen. I live my life how I see fit, and so should everybody else. Do what makes you happy. If someone wants to have 3 or even 6 kids, go for it. Yes, you should make sure you can financially support the kids you have and are planning to have, but it's a bit extreme to claim that anybody with more than 2 kids is killing Mother Earth.

Lise - posted on 02/22/2010

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There are also people who never have any kids...