Homosexual Parents

Jessie - posted on 06/27/2010

I got to say I agree with Krista on the fact that the more it is seen the less stigma will be attached to it. Most kids get teased, and I think if they had the right environment at home they would be able to come through it just fine.

Jessie - posted on 06/27/2010

Ok so I have a mixed view on this and I do not mean any of this in a mean way I promise. I can not honestly say I am all for homosexual rights, I'm not and I don't agree with the lifestyle but I believe that they have a right to choose for themselves, and I'm not going to get in their face about it or be negative towards anyone because of their sexual preference. However, I am ALL for children's rights and if a loving home can be given, they have stability and love I think it would be selfish of me to say that they can't have that. We have a lot of children waiting to be adopted and I would not want a child not to be given a loving home b/c there were same sex parents. Anyway, that is my view on it :)

Johnny - posted on 06/26/2010

LOL, My neighbor always says that if he'd been allowed to have children years ago, when he was young enough, the world wouldn't have to put up with his bratty spoiled dogs now. Him & his husband dote on my daughter, they would have made wonderful parents. It makes me sad to think that people continue to want to deny loving people the right to care for children and children the right to be raised by loving parents.

In my group of "mommy" friends in my neighborhood, there is a stay-at-home dad who adopted an adorable baby boy with his husband. Trust me, that little guy will not want for love or nurturing. It is very accepted and supported where I live, I seriously doubt that his parent's sexuality will be the reason if that little boy is teased or bullied when he gets older. If people stopped opposing gay families and just supported it, there wouldn't be any bullied kids to worry about.

Heather - posted on 06/26/2010

If the child is being taken care of, nurtured, and loved...does it really matter what the sexuality of the parents are? As far as kids getting made fun of, most kids get made fun of for one reason or another. Kids are cruel, and even kids with a "nuclear" family get made fun of, for being too fat, or too skinny, or wearing glasses, or for having a funny last name, or having freckles...seriously, what matters at the end of the day is having a family who supports and loves you through the tough times, and I know a family with same sex parents who do a wonderful job raising their children...and the children are happy and very well taken care of and the older kids are very proud to have 2 dads (they have a total of 5 children). I also know a few gay couples who dont want kids, and they do have very spoiled dogs :)

Sarah - posted on 06/26/2010

While I disagree with the logic, I do understand what Lyndsay is saying. It IS important that we take into consideration the well being of the children. That being said, I think that it is just as likely that gay parents will suck as straight parents. There certainbly should be criteria for being an adoptive parent (in a perfect world only qualified bio parents, but who am I fooling?) but I don't think that sexuality should be part of the criteria.

I honestly don't know anyone under the age of 40 who doesn't complain about their parents. And IMO most of my generation would have been better off being rasied by feral cats as opposed to the totally screwed nuclear families they were raised in.

As for pets filling the child void, some people don't want kids, some people don't want pets, some want both and some want neither, I am however, willing to trade my child for a dog on Saturdays and Sundays between 6-10am. Any dog will do, as long as it likes to sleep in.

Ramona - posted on 06/26/2010

I agree, Jenny. Every child does need positive males and females, and other family members are perfectly acceptable substitutes for the nuclear family! Half the time, one or both straight parents are not even positive role models! It has to do with the parents commitment to the child and family, not whether its a mom and dad or two mommies, two daddies, or one single parent.

Jenny - posted on 06/26/2010

I do believe it is essential to have strong male and female role models in a child's life but they do not have to be the parents. As an orphan, for me it was my uncles. A loving, solid family does not have a "norm", it is made up of the individuals within it and their commitment to each other.

Rosie - posted on 06/26/2010

no problems here!! homosexual people are PEOPLE. they deserve the same rights as anyone else. period.

Kimberly - posted on 06/26/2010

I personally don't see anything wrong with it. Society is a bit behind but it usually is. For the longest African Americans were really only allowed to have babies in order to provide new labor. As long as the parents put their child's welfare first I could careless what they're sexual preference is. Heterosexuals don't always make the best parents...so I don't think that it should be an issue.

Jennifer - posted on 06/26/2010

At the end of the day people can do what they want - it's a shame that so many people can't accept it and it's the children who end up suffering form being bullied etc. It's not "normal" but what is these days? Every family is different =]

Jen - posted on 06/26/2010

Hey Holly - good luck to them!

Kathy - posted on 06/26/2010

I have no problems with gay couples becoming parents - and I'm from an older generation!

Toni - posted on 06/26/2010

Lyndsay you are judging a whole group of people on the actions of one person - would you say that all obese people should not be allowed children because one woman got fat and her teenage children were teased because of it - I highly doubt you would. So how is saying that all homosexuals should not be allowed to have children any different?



Can I just point out that your uncle would not have 'just come out' as if one day he decided to be gay - because of the stigma and the negative opinions that many homosexuals face from society and closed minded people they find it very hard to admit that they fancy the same sex. Which leads to them trying to live a 'normal' life (what they see as normally accepted by society) and this inevitably leads to people getting hurt because I know I could not live my life pretending that I did not love my husband!



As for your cousin struggling with puberty most people do - it is a hard time some take it harder than others I know of people who have hetero parents and really had a hard time. Also your uncle was always the same person just because he is gay it doesn't change who he is and how he could help his son.



You said it 'they do not APPEAR to have a void in their lives' no they may not appear to but look deeper. I have a friend who loves her dog like a child but under the surface she desparatly wants a child. The fact is yes we can love our pets and treat them well but a pet will never ever come close to how I feel about my son.



No-one is suggesting you should not consider things other than the parents feelings but you seem to be very anti homosexual and very intolerant.



Jen good point, I agree and I think I would have actually punched someone in the face had they suggested I get a dog because I could not have children due to mine and hubby's fertility issues!

Christina - posted on 06/25/2010

Loureen, I completely agree with your comment "Intolerant children are a product of intolerant parents". My mom was, and still is to some extent, an intolerant person. I shared her views for the longest time cuz I didn't know any better. I wasn't one to question what's referred to as "the norm", but that changed when I was in college. Not for the reasons that most peoples' opinions change around then, but for something a little different.
I got pregnant, decided to have an abortion, and the way my mom treated me afterward made me question why I believed the same things she did for so long. I wasn't sure what to think about things. I mean, I held onto my beliefs in God and that he loved everyone. Then I started wondering why he would have stupid people, different races, and different sexual orientations in this world if he didn't love them all equally. I pondered things like this for a long time. When I met my hubby, he challenged the way I thought and my beliefs, and as a result I became much more open to the things in this world.
I don't go to church, I don't read the bible, but I do pray. I know in my heart that the only differences that divide people are brought on by the ones who think everyone should be cookie cutter perfect. Anything that isn't cookie cutter needs to be rolled around, put down, and reformed til it fits into the norm like everything else. That's not the way to think, and it's definitely not right to apply that to raising kids.
My sister slept with everything that had a penis when she was trying to get pregnant with my niece, and it worked. But she got back into her immature partying and drinking ways and lost custody of her daughter. I also know a girl who had a kid at fourteen, and another at sixteen. She finished high school, and though she's not with her kids' dad, her kids are happy and healthy. She was a good mom. Both of these women are straight, and both have completely different stories as mothers. Just because a hetero couple has kids doesn't mean they will be better than a homosexual couples kids. It's all about the environment in which the kids are raised and how loved they are.
Homosexuals should definitely have right to have kids, get married, and anything else they want, including getting a dog. :D (couldn't help it) The only reason their sexual orientation is a big deal is because hetero prudes make it a big deal.

Holly - posted on 06/25/2010

EXACTLY Jen! That is what was going through my mind!

I totally 100% agree with homosexual couples having children. In fact, a lesbian couple (who got married here in CA during that breif period last year when it was legal) are looking for a sperm donor so they can have a child. They are going to each get eggs fertalized (by the same donor), then have 2 eggs from each of them implanted into one of them and see what nature gives them. I think it's wonderful and they will make wonderful parents. :)

Jen - posted on 06/25/2010

Tell me Lyndsay, would you ever suggest to an infertile heterosexual couple that they just get a dog as well rather than seek to adopt or get fertility treatments?

Nichole - posted on 06/25/2010

I don't have a problem with it.

Charlie - posted on 06/25/2010

Just get dogs EGADS !! would you be happy to trade your child in for a dog ?? their maternal / paternal needs are just as real as any hetero parents needs .

Ive had many children of gay parents come through my school , i tell you from what i have seen they are all well behaved , well liked and well loved children , no child ever made fun of them let alone take notice that they had two dads or two mums , occasionally if they did ask the children would answer and off they would go and play .

Intolerant children are a product of intolerant parents in most cases but i have fortunately never noticed this with any of the families at my school .

Fiona - posted on 06/25/2010

I have absolutely no problem with same sex partners becoming parents. A loving home is a loving home, no matter the 'structure' of the family.

Erin - posted on 06/25/2010

Lyndsay I would think that the age of your cousin when his dad came out would be more the problem then if he had grown up always knowing his father was gay...

In regards to your friends w/the dogs...my aunt and uncle had dogs instead of kids, and on the outward appearance they looked like a wonderful loving family, but on the inside it ATE them BOTH up never having any children! What we see on the outside does not speak for what they feel on the inside...

Just saying...

I am all for homosexuals having equal right as heterosexuals. I think that they should have always and that it is rediculous that we have to constantly have issues of whether someone who sleeps with the same sex should be able to have kids? If this is seriuosly going to be an issue, what we do in our bedroom, then why leave it to just homosexuals? Why not target polygomists and sadomasocists, etc.... Any one that has sex in any position other then missionary, NO KIDS FOR YOU! Seriously, how rediculous!

Lyndsay - posted on 06/25/2010

I feel the way I do because I have cousins who have a gay dad. Him and my aunt were married for 9 years and then, one day, he decided to come out. Both of my cousins were tortured throughout school, particularly the male, and he's had a hard time with puberty and such things because the dominant male in his life is rather feminine.

I also have friends who are a gay couple, with two dogs. They love their dogs like children and they treat them like children, and they do not appear to have any missing void in their life. So yes, I think a dog can be an acceptable substitute.

Forgive me for looking beyond the two potential parents and their feelings. That does not make me ignorant, thank you very much.

Joanna - posted on 06/25/2010

either that or original post

Ramona - posted on 06/25/2010

Does OP stand for original poster?

Ramona - posted on 06/25/2010

I feel it is acceptable. If a homosexual couple can provide a stable, loving home where all the child's physical and emotional needs are met, I see no problem with it. I grew up knowing a lot of children raised by homosexual couples, male and female, and they were all perfectly well adjusted, happy, healthy kids! And when there are so many ill adjusted children coming from homes with a mother and a father, it further shows that it does NOT matter the shape of the family, but the individuals who head it and their relationship with each other and their children!

April - posted on 06/25/2010

yes..i agree with the OP. It's perfectly fine for homosexuals to become parents either naturally or through adoption. as someone else pointed out, studies have suggested that their children are well-adjusted...even more so than those of heteorsexual parents.

it was lyndsey's opinion that homsexuals having children would be a bad idea, due to name calling. she was worried that the children would have adjustment problems or have a hard time in school. of course, anything is possible but it's more likely for the OPPOSITE to happen!!

. - posted on 06/25/2010

I fully support gay rights!

Toni - posted on 06/25/2010

Lyndsay I cannot believe you have suggested that having a dog is a substitute for children - a dog cannot compare to a child IMO. I think you are looking at this in a really closed way - would you say that other minority groups should not be allowed children because their children may be subjected to teasing? (for example what about obese people or older parents or teenage parents?).

I know a few lesbian couples who have fostered children and these children have not been teased or ridiculed. I feel that if children are going to be teased they are going to be teased, I was teased for being tall and skinny, others for wearing glasses, being clever, being thick, being fat, being short you get the point, children will find anything so this is not a reason why people who would be great parents should not be parents.

Also a question to those of you who have phrased your acceptance as "I think that a loving homosexual couple would be better than an abusive hetero couple" (or similar). Do you not think that a loving homosexual couple would be as good as a loving hetero couple?

Karen - posted on 06/24/2010

I don't have a problem with it at all. When I think of the screwed up people who came from tradtional homes I can hardly think that that is the best place for a child (or a dog ;-) ) Anyway, the true test is how they love and raise that child, not their gender. Our world is changing for better or worse and we need to learn to accept people for who they are, not what they look like. A loving single sex household trumps an abusive dual sex household any day! I am hoping and praying for the day that noone will even think of asking this question, much as I think people were hoping and praying for day not that long ago that people would not care about this question in regards to skin color.

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 06/24/2010

I grew up (and dated) a guy that had two moms. His mom and dad got divorced and shortly after that his mom came out. They both lived with her girlfriend for most of his life. He didn't get teased much at all. He was pretty popular. This is in a small town conservative area. He was a wonderful person and his mom was a great mom (I didn't know her gf very well). Sadly, he passed away when we were 20. I always think of him when I read topics like this.

Brandie - posted on 06/24/2010

The only thing wrong with gays and lesbians raising children is the ignorant people who think that's the reason their kids will be screwed up. And seriously, just get a dog? That's the most ignorant comment I've heard in awhile.

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2010

I had a friend in highschool who had 2 moms, and she turned out perfectly normal, happy and loved! She happens to be straight but loves both her moms and didn't see the big deal that some people turn it into. She was awsome! lol. I'm all for it!

Jen - posted on 06/24/2010

Lindsay, other groups deal with stigma still. Should black families have stopped having children during the civil rights movement because they knew their children would face hardship?

Why not just teach our children that name-calling is simply rude?

Sherri - posted on 06/24/2010

I love that homosexual and/or lesbian couples want to become parents. I have a friends who are homosexuals and just fostered to adopt a 3yr old girl and her 4 yr old brother. They are the most loving parents I have ever seen. Now the siblings will remain together and have amazing new parents.

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

I don't know Krista... sometimes I think dogs would be easier. ;)

Krista - posted on 06/24/2010

Seriously, Lyndsay? You think that a dog is an acceptable substitute for a child?

Don't get me wrong, I love dogs.

But honestly, what you just said there came across as very, very dismissive and hurtful -- sort of a "let them eat cake" for the modern day.

And honestly, I don't know if the kid WOULD be teased all that much. Negative attitudes towards gays appear to be decreasing with each successive generation. I don't know about where you are, but here, there are now kids who actually dare to come out while still in high school. When I was in high school, no kid would have DARED. I think there's a lot more acceptance of it nowadays. And the only way to gain more acceptance, and stop any teasing, is to bring it out into the sunlight and treat gay and lesbian couples like ANY other couple.

Lyndsay - posted on 06/24/2010

I disagree with you. (Apparently I'm the only one!) I don't have anything against gay people or lesbians, and I think in most cases they should be awarded the same rights as heterosexual couples. I just think it would be very difficult, socially, to grow up in a household with same-sex parents. The child would be teased and ridiculed throughout life for that fact alone, probably stigmatized as a "baby fag" or "mini dyke" and have to go through unnecessary torture from his peers. Personally I think they should just adopt dogs. Dogs can be petted and spoiled like children, and you don't have to worry about them being teased.

Toni - posted on 06/24/2010

Thank goodness for that I was a little worried for a while then. :-)

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

Go w/ Krista's words Toni. That's how I meant it. :)

Toni - posted on 06/24/2010

Oh see now I read that completely in the opposite that an abusive nuclear family is better than a loving homosexual family. I think I am confused now :-)

Krista - posted on 06/24/2010

I think I get what you're saying, Teresa. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're saying that the ideal situation is the one-mother/one-father nuclear family. However, you recognize that ideal situations are not always the reality of things, because that's just life, and that a loving home will always trump a neglectful/abusive home, regardless of the family structure.

I hate putting words in your mouth, but that's what I'm reading from you. Is that what you were basically trying to say, or am I completely off-base?

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

Sorry. :)

It's just that sometimes when I've stated that I only 'agree' w/ nuclear families then I've been questioned by people asking if it would be better that a child is raised in an abusive 'intact' family as opposed to a single parent household or a homosexual parenting couple.

Like I attempted to say... I believe that an intact, loving nuclear family is the only 'acceptable' type of family. Seeing as how even I don't have that though.... I know it isn't reality.

Did I make it more confusing? I hope not, but I probably did.

Toni - posted on 06/24/2010

Teresa please could you clarify what you are saying in your post that goes "I'm not saying two loving homosexual parents are worse than 2 abusive heterosexual parents or any such nonsense as that." because I cannot work out if you are saying that homosexual parents are better than this situation (probably me being a little bit slow).

Toni - posted on 06/24/2010

Politically correct ha Krista anyone accusing you of that have obviously not read many of your posts I get the impression you are honest and fair - you give your opinion without being judgemental or nasty :-). Mmm maybe I'm politically correct to for being pro gay/lesbian choice (for marriage and kids) lmao.



Jen I totally agree that not everyone would be good parents and love your quote it is so true, everyone deserves to be judged on their own merit not the collective impression given.



Amy in an ideal world all children would be with their parents (mom and/or dad) but that is not realistic in the world we live in because of things such as death or addictions etc (there are far to many reasons children are in care). I would maybe point this out to people who think that mom and dad should raise their children.



Its really good that people are accepting people who are not the same as they are :-)

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

Yes. Husband, wife, kids. I believe that's the way we were designed to be (notice, I didn't mention God.. oops, now I did). Granted, I know there are many screwed up nuclear families and I'm not saying two loving homosexual parents are worse than 2 abusive heterosexual parents or any such nonsense as that.

Even though I AM divorced and I know it happens and sometimes it's the only answer. I still don't believe it's the best answer. That probably doesn't make much sense though.

Tanya - posted on 06/24/2010

I am all for it.

I worked in a daycare once and we had a little girl with two dads. They were great parents. She was the last on to get dropped off and the first one to be picked up. They left her at 8 and got her by 2 everyday. A lot of the people that worked there had a problem with it. She was one almost two and they would talk about it in front or her. I told them that she was clean, happy, and loved. Who are we to judge.

Jen - posted on 06/24/2010

Would that be mother/father nuclear family Teresa?

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2010

I'm only in favor of one type of family structure. Unfortunately that structure is becoming more and more in the minority.

Amy - posted on 06/24/2010

I think it's just fine. I know of a few friends/family members who would disagree with me because they feel parent's need to be the mom and dad who created the baby. Many of my Homosexual friends would make awesome parents (better than many other parent's out there). As long as a person loves there child there sexual orientation shouldn't even come into play!

Jen - posted on 06/24/2010

Exactly Krista! Crowing about their divorce while ignoring the FACT that half the marriages in this country end in divorce is ridiculous in the extreme!

Krista - posted on 06/24/2010

An EXCELLENT quote, Jen. And it is true -- I remember when this lesbian couple, who was one of the first gay couples to marry, wound up getting divorced. (I can't recall the exact story or where they lived.) And people were just CROWING about how it proved that gay marriage is a bad idea.

But somehow, all of those straight divorces don't prove anything about the validity of straight marriage.

Go figure, huh?