Hot sauce as discipline?

Donna - posted on 09/08/2011

o nvm i thought it was like a drop of hot sauce on the tounge i didnt think it was a mouthful. that is just wrong.

Donna - posted on 09/08/2011

ooo i saw that on dr phil. but no we dont do that here. we just yell at our kids. lol. im not sure about hot sauce. my father in law did it to his daughter Cold showers are just cruel.

Sherri - posted on 08/31/2011

I don't think hot saucing as abuse. Although I don't choose to use it, but no don't think it is abuse.

Cold showers now that I feel is abuse.

Anissa - posted on 08/29/2011

It is definutely Abuse! there is a major difference in eating hot sauce on food and happening to hold as much as she poured in your mouth that long.. dont think its abuse you try por it into your mouth and hold it for as long as that child had to hold it.. I guarantee your mouth will not only burn like hell for a long time after but you will have sores or atleast welts in your mouth. I love hot and spicy food and even I get welts if I hold hot sauce in my mouth for too long. This is without question abuse! and the ice cold shower! also abuse! that child was screaming! and think of the possible damage to the layers of nerves and skin anot to mention hypothermia! That endangers the childs health as well. And in the CNN link to the story it said she adopted them years ago so they were much younger, not babies but obviously young enough to be fluent in english wo even an accent. That childs problems probably came from her abuse over simple adjustment issues! Things the child would have outgrown in time. This is just horrible and people like this is why Russia no longer allows adoptions to the USA. And she didn't just do it to get on the show, the child knew what was coming and knew well enough to know he wasn't supposed to swallow it. She has done this to him many times before... And over something as small as playing sword fighting with pencils in school! This is just sick!

Maria - posted on 08/24/2011

Thats what she gets. If she really just did that to get on Dr. Phil that is just even more appaling. stupid lady.

Allie - posted on 08/24/2011

I just thought I'd post this, this is the same lady in my original post and the verdict is in. She was found guilty: http://news.yahoo.com/video/health-15749...

Bevely - posted on 06/30/2011

I can remember my mom putting tobasco sauce on my sister's thumb to get her to stop sucking it, now she just really loves tobasco sauce.

Kel-Cie - posted on 06/23/2011

I don't see how burning a child is suitable punishment. Hot sauce burns, thats its job, thats what makes hot sauce competitions so big with men lol. I die at a drop of franks red hot, which according to my DH is like ketchup, seriously it burns for like 15 minutes, I couldn't imagine doing that to a child. As to some previous post, locking a child in a closet for 10 years also works "beautifully" for some families, as does beating the crap out of them, however that doesn't make it alright. I would prefer if my children weren't scared to death of me.

Jen - posted on 06/23/2011

I hear Lisa Welchel who played Blair on the Facts of Life is a major proponent of hotsaucing and even had a book on how to discipline children with directions on when to administer it.

Jen - posted on 06/23/2011

I think it's barbaric and downright dangerous. Allergic reactions, choking, vomiting, you name it.

Constance - posted on 06/21/2011

Diane I have 4 that I have custody of. 19, 16, 14, and 12. Three have lived with me before but the youngest just moved in to the house in the last few weeks. He has a lot of anger right now. He knows how much I love him and he loves me too. The judge gave him the choice to live with me, his grandmother who is very sick, and his brother. He chose me but it is still hard because of his mother. She is an addict and right now doesn't care about anything but her next fix right now. Just yesterday she told me she never wanted him in the first place so she is glad he is gone. I could have killed her. He was in ear shot and he took off. His brother found him and he was safe. I went to talk to him and he screamed at me and told me to go F myself. I could have gottenn mad but it wouldn't do anything. I hugged him and kissed him on his cheek and told him I love him and always will. He stayed with a friend last night and came home this morning and started crying cause he thought I was going to throw him away too. He is my son too and nothing will ever take his place.

Kyleigh - posted on 06/21/2011

i agree!

Constance - posted on 06/21/2011

Plain and simple it is abuse. A cold shower because of a lie? Hot sauce for a lie? It is abuse on so many levels. There are a lot of adult that can't even put hot sauce on foods because it burns their mouth too much. How do you think it would feel to a child. I am a chef and I know that when I cut up spicy peppers and I am not wearing my gloves three days later I can put my finger in my mouth and still feel the heat.

We are suppost to protect our children. I know in this case he was adopted but it is absolutly no excuse to do this to him. Anyone who has adopted or taken custody of an older child nows it isn't all roses and butterflies. It is an adjustment for you and the child period. If she couldn't handle the process then she should not have adopted him. She has childen of her own and has never treated any of them this way. It shows the Cinderella side of this situation. I am glad she wants to get help and I know with the help of Dr. Phil and Alsaka authorities she will be able to get help. There is still no excuse.

Kyleigh - posted on 06/21/2011

no way i would use anything , vinegar, or hot sauce on my childs mouth!~ how horrible!

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 02/07/2011

I agree with Teresa. This moms not watching her kid enjoy some Mexican food. She's forcing him to take drinks of hot sauce then cool off in a nice cold shower. What she's doing is child abuse. Letting your child eat a food they like is not.

Amber - posted on 02/07/2011

There are a LOT of things that have been done in human history that "didn't kill" people, but that doesn't mean that it is an acceptable practice to continue.

It's not about not killing your child. It's about finding a civilized consequence that fits the behavior and teaches a lesson so that the behavior is not repeated in the future.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.....and I personally would like to see the world evolve into a better place.

Teresa - posted on 02/07/2011

There is a huge difference between allowing a child to eat spicy foods if they want and forcing them to hold hot sauce in their mouth while they are begging to get it out.

The hot sauce isn't the abuse.... the misuse of it is. I would, personally, feel that hot sauce is abuse cuz I can't stand spicy stuff, but that's been my point all along. If they hate it, it's abuse. If they like it, it's a stupid and pointless attempt at 'discipline,'

Elizabeth - posted on 02/07/2011

My mom used to use cayenne pepper on my tongue and have me hold it there for 1 minute then I could rinse it off with water, if i cussed. It was actually pretty effective. I only remember doing it twice. But what happens if your kid LIKES spicy? My daughter enjoys spicy things so I can't give it to her now because it is child abuse?! My husband eats any and all hot sauce like ketchup. I DO see both sides of the story BUT to say hot sauce is child abuse...I disagree and so would my 18 month old! She would think it was abuse NOT to, LOL!

Toni - posted on 02/07/2011

The thing with these discipline methods, such as hot saucing, washing the mouth out with soap and spanking etc (I use that term lightly I cannot see how they teach anything but fear but some see them as discipline so...) they may have been done to us and they may not have killed us but that doesn't make them right! we now know there are different methods of discipline, which don't involve hurting our children physically and I for one am more than willing to learn new methods, especially if it helps my children and means I don't have to use physical violence on them!

Bethany - posted on 02/07/2011

I don't think that the hot sauce was necessarily the right thing to do but I dont think that she should be charged with child abuse. Im not going to lie, when my son grows up and misbehaves im not going to put hot sauce in his mouth but I will spank him which people argue about just as much as this. I got spanked as a child and it didnt kill me.

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 02/06/2011

I agree Kate. I don't like spicy food so I can't imagine forcing my daughter to choke down hot sauce. I don't care if it's one drop or a cup. No way.

Kate CP - posted on 02/06/2011

I'll say it again because no one seems to acknowledge this: Capsaicin, the chemical in peppers and hot sauce that makes things hot and spicy, can cause nerve damage and burns to the skin. It can cause blindness. WHY in the name of all that is holy would any one ever think that this
method of "discipline" is in any way, shape, or form appropriate for any child in any situation?!

Kristian Amber - posted on 02/06/2011

Personally, I'm not saying it's either wrong or right, but in my personal opinion, I do not agree with the soap in the mouth method. I understand its been done for awhile, but being someone that actually makes homemade soap versus buying it due to the types of chemicals they use and the perfumes and dyes, I would never put it in my childs mouth. Not even the homemade stuff that I make.
I don't use the hot sauce method either, but honestly, even if its a drop, you can get it out of the mouth much easier than soap. Soap tends to like to stick around even after water is introduced and is very difficult to get that taste out of your mouth. (I've had several not so fun experiences with accidently getting dawn dish soap bubbles or shampoo in my mouth, drove me nuts) At least with hot sauce, you can counter-act it with a dairy product to take the burning away and get the flavor out of the mouth.
Soap, there are too many harsh chemicals that are only intended for "external use only". Meaning, if ingested can cause a poisonous effect and I'm sorry, but there is no way you can guarantee that you have gotten all the soap out of a kids mouth if they've "brushed" with it.
Think of it this way, some women can only use certain types of bar soaps (and even body washes) because it can cause irritation on the skin and even vaginal problems, why would you want to stick something that you use to wash dirt off your body to "wash out" your childs mouth due to saying a bad word or something?
Again, I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but I would never use it on my boys. I wouldn't use hot sauce either, even a drop on the tongue, there are several other methods to be used and tried before I'd ever even consider it, and even then it would more than likely not be done.
I don't look down on parents that use the soap or the drop of hot sauce method, I just personally wouldn't use it.
As I said, in my really really long post earlier, I would never make my children hold a mouthful of hot sauce in their mouths either.
Talk about cruel and unusual punishment! I still cannot believe that the authorities haven't removed the child (if not all of them) from the home!

Maria - posted on 02/06/2011

When i saw that video it really broke my heart! I think she acted to quickly and at this point this was her first form of punishment not her last and why punish a child for having a bad grade that way?? dont get me wrong if my daughter cam home with a bad grade then i would take t.v. privileges away until the grade came up but to get mad and act like that?! yea right what if the child is really having a hard time learning i would get all the help i can. Now if the child is messing around then there would be a different punishment. I think she acted really inappropriate to what happened. Some kids that get that kind of treatment or abuse normally dont act better they act out. So she's probably making things worse. Ive read that some moms think soap in the mouth is bad i dont. If i said a bad word or lied then i had to brush my mouth with soap. i really dont think thats as bad as telling a kid to hold hot sauce in there mouth for a period of time and then get in a super cold shower. But thats just me. i dont know if ill use the soap method when my daughter gets older but i wouldnt be against using it. And i am for spanking With that being said i would try other methods before going straight to these. idk that little boy just broke my heart. But yea bottom line i dont think hotsauce and cold showers are an effective punishment or a good punishment.



Also my fiance told me that their mom would put something spicy in their mouth but they were bad beyond belief. but also they endured abuse so i don agree with their mom however if someone put just a drop of hotsauce then i really dont think thats abuse or wrong but i think telling a kid to hold hotsauce in their mouth is different. I really dont like to judge right off the back because you really dont know what the situation it. If my fiance and his brothers were my kids and they were as terrible as they were and nothing seemed to worked then i would probably try and find some new methods of punishment without it getting to the point of abuse of course. I just think in this video she reacted incorrectly and her punishment was to extreme for the "crime".



EDITED

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2011

@Jackie: You think it's ok to put hot sauce on a child's fingers to stop them putting their hands in their mouth? What if the chid rubs their eyes or touches other sensitive areas with the sauce? That would hurt. A lot. What's the big crime in sucking your fingers anyway?

Helen - posted on 02/06/2011

Personally i think the fact that she knew she was intimidating her son was empowering to the point she becomes ignorant to basic human compassion and absolutely no lesson through fear can be learned , scars last forever. Its a blessing her ignorance led to the video being aired so that not only her son but also her daugther filming the event can be made aware that this is not acceptable and can be removed from her harmful ignorance.
Children are a blessing no matter how difficult situations may become and having time out for ourselves is as important as giving the children their own time out. They are never too young to use basic communication and consistancy, after all they inherit learnt behaviour; thank heavens they will not inherit that behaviour.

Alexis - posted on 02/06/2011

(sounds like she is overwhelmed with 6 kids)....However I see the hot sauce, cold showers etc, as more of torture than discipline. Discipline is suppose to teach in a nurturing way. Discipline by using timeouts giving the child time to think about what they did, or having consequences that match the crime...for example they don't pick up the toys and back talk, then take away the toys and a timeout for the back talking, If they lie (like in the video) try reigning in what freedoms you give your child which is a punishment relevant to the crime.

Hannah - posted on 02/05/2011

This is truly one of the most horrible things I have ever seen!! (it inspired me to start a new thread)



I just don't understand moms, how can you say you love your child and turn around and do that to them. The sociological and emotional abuse she is putting that poor boy through is just unbearable....



I don't think a mouthful or a drop is ok, becouse it's a malicious punishment ment to demean the child not teach him...

Kristian Amber - posted on 02/05/2011

Thanks Allie! I was wondering about that, but boy, that makes you wonder, how long has this woman been doing this sort of thing and what other kinds of punishments does she use?
Also, on your other comment, I was thinking about that movie too when I think of the soap! I think it was used on me once, but by someone who was babysitting me, not my mom.
But about the little boy, I'm curious about the behavior of the twin? If this is something emotional/mental due to their past, I wonder if the adoption agency would try to get in touch with the other adoptive parents to see if the twin was having any of the same issues?
If I was the adoption agency and heard of this, I would look into it to make sure that both weren't behaving in the same manner so as to dispute any argument that its because of where the boys came from.
Also, when it comes to children of a young age such as this, they really don't hit the age of reason until 7 or so. Some mature faster than others and we can't expect them to understand fully the consequences of their actions, whether it be lying or behaving in a certain way. They might know that mom and dad don't like it, but do they really understand why? And sometimes kids just do things that aren't approved of and when asked why they did it, they say they don't know and genuinely don't know why they did it. I'm sure we've all done things in the past that we look back on and say "Geez, why did I do that?" What's to say kids don't do the same thing? The frontal lobe in their brains aren't fully developed, not until they become adults in most cases, and reasoning is not always prominent. I may be wrong on this, and I will admit to it if I am, but I've known tons of grown men who still behave the way they did in when they were boys. I still find it hilarious to see a grown man throw a temper tantrum!

Allie - posted on 02/05/2011

Kristian I believe for two years... I think I read something about the little boy having a twin brother and both being adopted from Russia at age 5.

Kristian Amber - posted on 02/05/2011

Okay, I just saw this post and had to say something, it will probably be long (lol) like most of my posts are. Being pregnant and opinionated I tend to take off on a subject!

All righty then---> I did hear about this story, and being pregnant, my emotions were running wild, and all I could think of was how much I wanted to physically hurt that woman. Actually, even if I wasn't pregnant, I still probably would. There was no excuse for these "actions" of so called discipline she was taking, and obviously her daughter didn't think so either and video taped it to get help for her young adopted brother.
I was curious if anyone knows how long she has had the child since adopting him? You'd think if there were any serious behavioral issues or whatnot the school would have said something too and it would have been brought up. But I'm sorry, for a 6-7 year old boy, you can't always say that just because he was getting bad grades that he has an emotional problem or whatnot due to where he was adopted from. He might be a little hyper active, or have an attention issue (not saying he has ADD, or ADHD, I personally think those are excuses that some parents use as a way of "dosing" their kids to make them more maleable to how the parent thinks they should act), or he might just be too excited to sit still and listen, or he may genuinely just not "get it" in school. And if things were that bad, then why didn't the mother talk to the school counselor, the adoption agency (most still have child pyshologists don't they?) or take him to the doctor and get a referral for some therapy?
Some of you know, I have an 8 year old and 5 year old son. They are great, but totally different. Some punishments work for one but not the other. My 8 year old is sensitive and very intellectual (we discovered a few months ago that his IQ was quite high for his age), and my 5 year old is very hands on, wants to play army, wrestle, just be physical in general. And I've had plenty of friends who's children are rambunctious, almost ridiculously so, and I can see how it drives them up the wall at times.
However, I have actual conversations with my 8 year old, he watched this video too and we had a long talk about it. When he does something that warrants discipline we take the time to figure out what the punishment/consequence (however you prefer to word it) should be. If its something we've had to get onto him about over and over again, then he'll either receive the punishment we've warned him of (no video games/computer time, no outside, no friends, etc) or we'll ask him if he understands why we're upset, make him tell us why we are upset with him (so we know he understands it) and discuss with him what kind of punishment he should receive. If we can't all agree on the punishment then it falls back to my husband and myself to decide. Like I said though, he rarely gets in trouble, mostly its just him not thinking, being forgetful, or what have you. I know that he has said bad words, and we've talked about why we don't use those words. Even if he hears me slip or my husband slip, he knows that we consider those words "ugly" and I've told him that he's just too smart to use words like that, he can find other more appropriate words to express himself, and if he can't think of one then we'll talk about it. He genuinely gets upset if someone thinks he's said a "bad" word. However, if he's heard someone say a word that he knows he shouldn't say, but he's telling me about a situation, then we'll allow him to say the word, and if he doesn't understand the meaning/slang definition of the word, we explain it to him and tell him that some words that are used are hurtful, like calling someone fat, or ugly or something. And he knows that words can sometimes hurt more than being physical with someone.
As for my 5 year old, he's a lot different. He's been getting so much better, but they are brothers and they do pick on each other at times, which we have them handle it to a point. I personally don't think that our intervention all the time helps them to grow and figure out their own ways of dealing with issues, depending on the issue.
But my 5 year old is also a little comedian. He has said words, done things, made gestures, that I really do not agree with, but at times it has been funny and my husband and I are both guilty of laughing at some of the "off the wall" things he's done.
He did something one time (honestly I can't remember what it was) and my husband finally had gotten to the point where it wasn't funny anymore and they had a talk about it. I know that our laughing didn't help at all, and that's exactly why he kept doing it and told my husband that. He had said that he was doing it because it made us laugh and he likes it when we laugh. As sweet as I think it is that he wanted to be funny to make everyone happy and laugh, we told him that there are other things he can do to accomplish that without doing or saying other inappropriate things. But again, he's 5, and I know we'll have the same conversation again in the future.
My husband and I both agree, spanking is not an option unless absolutely necessary. We do implement time out, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. My oldest hates it because he considers it a "baby punishment", I tell him if he's going to behave like one and not listen then that is the punishment he will receive. (Needless to say we haven't really needed to use it that often as he doesn't like to be considered a baby or behaving like one) My youngest however, he's so headstrong, it really just depends on his mood at the time as to whether it will be effective or not.
As for the "hot saucing": I've heard of it used, some of my friends have used it instead of soap for the potty mouth, but only one drop on the mom's finger and then touched to the childs mouth. I can't say I agree or disagree with it used that way, I've never done it and don't see a need to. How the woman in the video did it, I think is definitely abusive and she needs some serious parenting classes if they are going to let her keep any of her children. I don't think the hot sauce would even remotely be an effective tool (if used at all for punishments) to punish for lying. I agree with most of the moms here saying that it will make him lie more, or result in his fear of his adoptive mother. Fear is not a good emotion to have when it comes to parents. It's a power/dominance empowerment that the parents use to feel like they are in control, when in actuality they don't have any control if they are resorting to this type of method to discipline. My boys know that telling the truth and receiving whatever consequence is better than lying and having it worse later. We've reiterated to them that lying just isn't worth it, and eventually you will get caught.
As far as the shower thing... deep breath... this is awful. I hate the hot sauce thing she did, but the shower thing I think is equally if not more harmful.
Okay moms: When a child is crying and upset, and you've already punished (hot sauce or not) and the child is preparing for the worst (the cold shower) what happens to their body??? It heats up right? So what is the cold shower going to do? It is going to be a shock to their system. When used for a fever, yes, it can be understandable, but what are the effects of a cold shower on a healthy child who's body is getting hot from fear/being upset? It's not going to do anything except streamline fear straight into that child from the parent. Which again, is not effective, its just a parents way of showing their power over the child.
There is so much I could say, so many different scenarios we could use, but honestly, we have to call this situation what it is... ABUSE. Plain and simple. And how could the mother not know or mind that her daughter was video taping the whole thing? So, she knows she has a problem and wants attention? I worry for the other children in the house-hold.
Also, I had a stepson who was abused repeatedly while he was younger. He had a lot of issues because of it. He would abuse small animals, hurt my oldest (when he was a baby) by purposely slamming his hand in doors, and trying to push him under water. I'm saying this because of the type of abuse he received. His punishments included: standing in time out at the wall with his arms outstretched for 5 hours... or until his mother came home. He would have to run laps in the backyard and jump up and down until he was barely breathing for hours without water, he wouldn't be allowed to eat for a whole day... I mean the list goes on and on. It was awful, his mother, his maternal and paternal grandmothers all were involved in this punishment and would tell me and my ex about it and find it funny! Needless to say, we got custody and had to call CPS several times, where each time they didn't see any "signs" of abuse. He was always trying to be sweet and pleasing to adults so he wouldn't get in trouble. When we got him he started doing so much better! But then my ex and I went through a divorce and my ex's father and stepmother got him, where he is now receiving therapy and seems to be very happy/well adjusted. Which I could be happier about, even though I was sad not to be able to keep him with me and his brothers.
So I'm sure some of you can understand why I have little faith in CPS, because honestly, if this woman is being charged with child abuse why in the he** is the child still in her custody??
Sorry, I told you guys I go on tangents and just keep on going! LOL! It's getting nearer to the end for me and my emotions are on overdrive!

Allie - posted on 02/05/2011

Every time I hear about someone using soap, I automatically think of A Christmas Story and Ralphie's day dream where he's gone blind. He says "It was... soap poisoning...." lol My parents did soap for bad language for for my brother (I was either too smart and never got caught or I just don't remember it being used on me.) I will never use soap on my son though.. personally.

Ellen - posted on 02/05/2011

I've used soap. I'm not proud of myself for doing it and hated having to do it. It was a last resort punishment when nothing else worked. It was very effective as my son now 8, no longer spits, or swears, and hasn't for several years.

Brittany - posted on 02/04/2011

One of my friend's mom's used hot sauce. It was a drop of tabasco on the center of the thong. It was just how they did it; she was dicaplined that way as a child and so were her children. She was a wonderful woman and so were all of her children.

Lesa - posted on 02/04/2011

I love my children too much to emotionally scare them! I discipline with words of wisdom and sometimes I lose it, I admit it, but never, NEVER, do I ever hurt them! I feel sorry for the children that have such ignorant parents. And that kind of discipline will never teach anything but hate and inferiority. So sad!

Juliann - posted on 02/04/2011

no i would not use this method it is child abuse. now i will swat my kid for extreme bad behavor but never hot sauce there are other affective ways to teach ur kids right and wrong

Wendy - posted on 02/04/2011

LOL! There are so many punchlines in that story (besides the manner in which it is told) where does one begin?

First off, I’ll bet that chick doesn’t discipline her daughters (if she has any) the same way because she has a classic bitter-old-toad way about her. She’s probably been turned down by every man she ever truly wanted and wound up with some loser who would bang anything; therefore she’s hateful to the male gender in general.

Secondly, it makes sense that some people discipline their brats this way given the food-reward culture that is so prevalent. Good behavior = a tasty treat, bad food = suck on a chili pepper for half an hour. Perhaps it would be worse punishment for the little guy to eat one of the hag’s prepared dishes than straight up hot sauce.

Kelina - posted on 02/04/2011

yay for timeout for adults. so not cool.

Nikkole - posted on 02/04/2011

I don't care HOW desperate i was i would not use hot sauce or cold showers for punishment!

Johnny - posted on 02/04/2011

I wouldn't use "beautifully" to describe child abuse. That makes me a little sick to my stomach.

Teresa - posted on 02/04/2011

How do you know it works? MAYBE it works, but maybe the kids just learned better not to get caught....

Sherri - posted on 02/04/2011

I have seen it work beautifully for a lot of families. It may not in this instance but that is not to say it doesn't work amazing in others.

Schmoopy - posted on 02/04/2011

Sherri, not to beat a dead horse, but if you're not missing my point, then why do you think hot sauce is an effective, viable method of discipline?

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 02/04/2011

Toni brings up a fabulous point. Of all the classroomsI've taught in the children who "acted up" the most were ones that come from troubled/abusive homes. Not the ones who's parents actually respect them. Treat your kid like crap and they won't respect you or any other adult. Why should they? Parents like this woman don't deserve to be respected.

Allie - posted on 02/04/2011

I agree with Toni. My son is extremely well behaved, but I don't yell, spank, use cold showers, or use hot sauce. If he breaks a rule he looses a privilege or goes into time out. He is not terrified of me or my husband because we discipline with respect not humiliation. There are kids in his class who are "total terrors" due to ineffective discipline or lack of.

Sherri - posted on 02/04/2011

I am not missing any point Schmoopy but thanks. :)

Schmoopy - posted on 02/04/2011

Sherri, I think you're missing the point. There's a distinction between punishment and consequence. Punishment is harsh and UNRELATED to the offense (i.e., hot sauce). A consequence is related and MILD!!! (Example, if a child is dawdling when s/he's supposed to be getting ready for bed, you'd say, "I'm worried that if you don't finish getting ready soon, we'll only have time to read one story instead of our usual three." And then follow through!) In other words, it's a natural consequence of their behavior - something they're responsible for influencing. It's used as a teaching tool, not a deterrent.

I don't think it matters whether that mother used a drop of hot sauce or an entire bucket full - that's irrelevant! No matter what anyone thinks, abuse or no, what that mother did was definitely ineffective.

Toni - posted on 02/04/2011

I second Carol, it is not the children who are disciplined with respect that are acting out and behaving inappropriately, a lot of the time it is children from abusive situations. Children's behaviour is affected very strongly by how their parents behave, they either copy or do the opposite, where a child is shown respect generally they act with respect, however on the other hand when children are shouted at, screamed at, hit etc they either treat others in that way screaming, shouting, hitting to get what they want or they become an introvert and withdraw into themselves and become quiet and reserved, or maybe even turn to doing things slyly or in an underhand manner so people aren't necessarily aware of what they are doing.

Tah - posted on 02/04/2011

@Allie..yes I have also in my sociology and a couple of my psych classes learned of the way Russian orphanages foster a environment where there is no affection or attention which can lead to a disconnect emotionally for these children.

Johnny - posted on 02/04/2011

Actually Jackie, if you did some research on this issue, you'd find that behavioral issues often stem from abusive home situations. Like another poster has said (or maybe it was Dr. Phil himself), this woman's actions were effectively teaching this child that lying was his only chance at survival. Fear, humiliation, embarrassment, pain, agony, and terror don't build happy, healthy, productive human beings for the most part. Some people survive and thrive, but many spend a life time either hiding, abusing, or seeking therapy or all of the above.

Cold showers on a child that age (of the boy in the video) is abusive, not so much physically, but emotionally. The hot sauce goes either way. You do have a problem. It isn't "discipline" and anyone who thinks that it is needs to do a lot of learning about what discipline really is. It's easy to confuse punishment and abuse with discipline if you don't know any better, but there are so many options that are available that don't terrorize children. Knocking your kids around or punishing them physically in other ways, isn't discipline at all. There are lots of places to turn for help.