Hot Topic of the Day (3-24)... The Power of "16 and Pregnant"

Meghan - posted on 03/23/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

1,957

44

I'm posting this early because I have a mountain of homework, and class all day tomorrow I'm not sure if I will have a chance to get to a computer and get this set up.

'16 & Pregnant' could have kept me 49 and not pregnant!!!!!

From TODAY producer Stephanie Becker

You may have seen the hit MTV show “16 & Pregnant,” about teenagers who are unexpectedly expecting. Watching the sacrifices and hardships and the emotional, financial and physical challenges these girls face is enough to make any teenager wear a full body condom.

I say that even though I am the product of a teen mom. She was 19 years old. In her defense, two weeks before she got pregnant she married my dad. Really. I did the math — twice. Why do you think she made him marry her? Then, like millions of other girls, she gave up her college education to raise a family. Personally, I think it was an excellent choice. But, as she approaches 70, I do think she will always regret it. And she tried to make sure I did not follow in her footsteps. Why didn’t I?

First, a grateful acknowledgement to my my high school fifth-period Health Science teacher Mr. Eddings and his dexterity at the filmstrip projector; if only he could have played a couple of DVDs of MTV's "16 & Pregnant," everyone would have stayed awake. And a virgin.

Despite Mr. Eddings’ circumspect discussion of condoms and fallopian tubes and Vas Deferens (was it a heavy metal rock band?), I think what kept me a "good girl," was my boyfriend’s teeth. Every time he begged, "Please! Please! Pleazzzzzzzz!” I looked at his uncooperative choppers and thought, “If I get pregnant we'll be paying off orthodontia bills for eons.” Not long ago, I friended the old beau on Facebook. He's married now with a kid. In the photo display, his kid never smiles. See, I knew it!

Even if I'd planned to have sex on the most common sex night — prom — I couldn't. I was so badly burned from getting a “little color” at the beach that I looked like a human lobster and felt like a cheese grater had scraped my flesh raw. Any small movement in my blue chiffon dress was torture. Don’t even breathe on me!

Then off I went to college to the first serious boyfriend — a much older ex-Marine. He was wearing me down to give “it” up. My grown-up teen-mom poured out her heart to me in a graphic and personal handwritten nine-page legal-sized letter.

It was somewhat effective and convinced me to at least make sure I always used protection. Then I threw away the letter. And in what I would call a refresher, I retained my commitment to safe sex after accompanying a friend to her birthing class. No woman who is not pregnant should ever be subjected to two hours of "This is labor and delivery." It was terrifying. And those “16 & Pregnant” producers clearly got the same message.

After seeing almost a dozen episodes of “16 & Pregnant” I’m convinced that this show is one of the most effective sexual deterrents ever. My kids are going to be watching this series the minute they have their first case of acne. Oh, wait. I don't have any kids. Maybe Mr. Eddings' filmstrips were more effective than I thought.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

17 Comments

View replies by

Evelyn - posted on 02/10/2013

789

5

I do not agree. I think this show is very edited and shows what the producers want us to see. It only seems to highlight those problems at best. I knew a girl in high school who was in one of my classes for the year. She was due in December of that year to have her baby. She was 16. Because the class we were in was a Home Ec class and we were studying child development among a few other things, she openly told us about her pregnancy and what she was dealing with. Her health was also at risk. Our teacher told us that being under 21 and pregnant was hard on the body and could cause issues. This girl did have some of those issues because at 16 the body is still developing. If a girl has a baby, that can cause birth issues or other health problems. This girl had her child. She went on to finish high school through the school and via school through the mail and walked graduation with us. It was not easy....but she did it. I do not see how this show really covers the whole issue of being a teen and pregnant. If this had been a documentary that followed the girls through a few years and then was later posted on as a two hour documentary instead of a glamorized weekly tv show I would be able to give it credibility.

SarahJane - posted on 03/28/2010

118

63

I am in love with the show. As a social worker, counselor, and mother, I find that the show does depict both sides of teen pregnancy. Some kids do have it easier, just as some adults have it easier in life than others. There are plenty of teen mothers who are pressured into situations where they don't agree. The last episode of teen mom, a self-defined "good girl" became pregnant and her mother (who was also a teen mom) also had a baby. So they have two babies less than two months apart. The mother stated how hard it was for her, and she hoped that her daughter would never go through the same process. However, she did!

Meghan - posted on 03/27/2010

1,957

44

I agree...you will see in the episode that you were talking about her parents really crack down and make it harder for her...

Caitlin - posted on 03/27/2010

30

13

So based on 30 minutes of watching the show you're going to determine how the whole series depicts teen motherhood? That is kind of ignorant. Actually, there's no "kind of" about it.

Lyndsay - posted on 03/26/2010

2,008

19

I personally think that show is horrible and I refuse to watch it. I mean, come on. You're offering these girls a chance to be on television, to have their 15 minutes of fame. And from the one time I did watch it, like half an episode, they didn't even make it look that hard. The girl was living in her parent's house, rent free, driving her parents' car, eating their food... etc. Yes... that makes it look SO hard.

Caitlin - posted on 03/26/2010

30

13

OK, so your cousin saw your other cousin get pregnant and got jealous. The jealous one has much bigger issues than pregnancy if she felt the need to go off and get pregnant at 13.

LaCi - posted on 03/26/2010

3,361

3

I thought getting pregnant at 23 was too young honestly. ;) Can't even imagine 15/16.

Shannon - posted on 03/26/2010

1,025

65

I've never seen it. We don't have t.v....But, I knew plenty of girls in school that wanted desperately to get pregnant & many did. I knew getting pregnant at a young age would be stupid. I didn't end up getting pregnant until I was 27 yrs old.

Meghan - posted on 03/26/2010

85

52

I agree with Keisha's first post. She said SOME PEOPLE will find it glamorous and not see the REALITY. I have cousins and a sister like that! My cousin saw what happened wehn my other cousin had a baby at 16 and knew it would be hard but she decided that she needed attention too and got pregnant at 13!! Not everybody will see the reality, they will see the couple that gave their baby up for adoption and how sad it was and go... oh, I need a baby and I HAVE to keep it, it will love me no matter what! Or something... And not everyone's parent's will help. I think teens should know that if they are having sex, they need to prepare for the consequences. I married right out of high school and had a baby at 19. We didn't plan to have one so soon. But I knew that my husband and I were responsible for it, no one else. My husband had a job and was awaiting his enlistment in the Marine Corps at the time. I don't regret it for a second but I would encourage couples to not only be married but to have a little time to themselves before having a baby because it does change the relationship. It is harder to find time to be together wehn you have kids. I don't encourage teens to sleep around like they do these days either but it will happen so let's teach them to protect themselves and be prepared for what may happen! Even though we don't see it as glamorous, some people still will. Popular or not, it doesn't matter. They will see eventually.

Caitlin - posted on 03/26/2010

30

13

MTV is working on a new show similar to Teen Mom. It's called Teen Dad. So they're trying to show different sides of the situation. But they can't document EVERY SINGLE type of family that teen parents can end up with. And expecting them to do so is ridiculous.

Keisha - posted on 03/25/2010

260

19

Holy! I didn't know my opinion would cause such huge response... like I said, they will just think they can get their parents with it all. I am a teen mom and I don't have my family's constant help and all of those girls do. I guess "glamorizing" was the wrong choice of words... different/easier than it actually is I guess is what I`m trying to say. Also I don't think they use enough people in different situations. They should maybe show a fully-functioning home ran by "teens", because it does happen sometimes. They should show a young single father ran family (because I have seen it happen) I guess I`m just talking in circles. I do that sometimes lol. I`m sorry a bunch of you disagree with me... I guess I didnt really explain myself to the fullest extent either... stereotyping is I guess what I think they are doing. But that going to make people disagree too. Oh and yes I have watched this show. I just have never ever heard of or seen many family's who act the way they do... I going to stop babbling now before I make even less sense.

Caitlin - posted on 03/25/2010

30

13

As a teen mom and someone who is in high school, my friends ask ME about being a teen mom, not a television show. They aren't stupid, they know it's all edited and that being a teen parent is hard, whether you're a mom or dad. Anyone who thinks that their child shouldn't watch this show needs to get a grip, find someone you know who knows a teen parent (let's be honest, we ALL know one) and ask THEM about how hard teen parenthood is. This show in no way glamorizes being a teen mom, it shows how likely the young dads are to leave, and how much harder that makes your life. I don't know about you, but in almost every episode I've seen, the girls are looked down on and treated differently because of their pregnancies. How is that "glamorous"?

LaCi - posted on 03/25/2010

3,361

3

I watch it, as well as teen mom. I love it. I think it's good for teens to actually watch the process, the problems, and realize that none of these girls expected it to happen to them either. I don't really think its possible to desire the hardships those girls are dealing with, so yeah I think its a deterrent. Definitely not "glamorizing" teen pregnancy.

Amanda - posted on 03/24/2010

69

23

Just out of curiousity... have you watched the show? While I do disagree with you, I still have nothing against your position, but I am curious how you think the show glamorizes teen pregnancy, and parenting.

I have watched every episode of both 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. When I first heard about the show, I was concerned that they would glamourize (sp?) teen pregnancy, and that girls would think it was cool and actually try to get pregnant. After I watched the show, I wanted to applaude.

I think that they are hitting the nail on the head by waking kids up to the severity of life changes these young moms have to go through. They show the girl's body changes, and the tears that come with that. They show the destruction of friendship and relationships with their boyfriends, and the heartbreak that comes with that. Then they show how hard parenting is with the lack of sleep and the lack of support that they expected from their boyfriend. They have shown the impossible decision making process of adoption and the heart break that comes from giving away their baby into a better home. Then Teen Mom did an awesome job following one couple who had given their baby up for adoption and the lingering pain that they were still trying to heal from by the end of the season.

I think that it shows the lack of attention these moms recieve, and the hurt that they go through.

Shavaune - posted on 03/24/2010

342

0

I don't think it glamorizes teen pregnancy at all. I watched the one season and the only couple that is still together is the couple that put their baby up for adoption. If anything it shows girls how useless their boyfriends really are when it comes to having a baby. Girls look at babies and go "Awww, I want one" and then they watch the show and realize "Holy crap those kids cries alot and that girl can't even attempt to get her homework done" lol And when all their friends are partying and going off to college guess where they are? At home with a screaming baby or working at some crappy job. Where are their boyfriends? Out partying with all their friends, not at home helping them that's for sure. I had my first son at 17 and it never even dawned on him what that would be like until he watched the show with me one day. I wished they showed a girl or a couple completely on her own though. When I got pregnant I was out of the house within a month. It was made pretty clear to me that my parents were not going to help me and that I was on my own if I wanted to have the baby. Me and my husband had 2 jobs each at times and putting ourselves through collage was hell! I'm almost 30 and just now getting out of student debt and able to buy a house. Not all parents are willing to help.

Christy - posted on 03/24/2010

272

11

i totally agree with Stephanie Becker's perspective. i have watched the show on numerous occasions and there were a very limited few that could be misconstrued as making teen pregnancy look glamorous. even in the cases of the rich and/or popular girls, their lives take such a dramatic turn first while pregnant and then after delivery. sure, most of the girls have their parents there to help them but in most of the episodes the girls lose most of their friends and in almost half of the episodes, the teen dads bail on them. i think it shows girls what the reality is if you end up pregnant, and that's not even to mention the labor and delivery process...

Keisha - posted on 03/24/2010

260

19

I disagree with this. Honestly I think that some teens will somehow find a "glamorous" aspect to what the show is all about and not look at it realistically. Like "ok so, I get pregnant. Have alot of attention for a while. Have even more attention once the baby is born. And it CANT be that hard... look how many people do it! My parents can just help out anyways" I guess my opinion is that I think it will increase is normalcy instead of frightening them...