I am a mother...but my name is not 'mom'

Karen - posted on 07/19/2011

We called both our parents by their first names until we began school. By pre-K, I could read, write, and say each of our full names, our address and telephone number. My two year old calls me and my husband "mom" or "dad," unless he wants to really get our attention. I know when I hear him call either of us by name, it is really critical to him to call upon us!

Tyciana - posted on 07/22/2010

I don't think it's bad if that's what you want. To each his own. I personally prefer to be called Mommy, not mom, ma, mamma. If they try to call me anything other than this, I don't answer. This is what was common where I grew up (NYC) and what I call my mother to this day.

Tah - posted on 07/21/2010

@Meghan nor do i..and to be honest, it has nothing to do with any social standings as far as i am concerned. I would just never think to call my physician anything other than their title, and for me it is a sign of respect. It doesn't mean that respect isn't given to others or that a person puts their title above their personal identity, I don't know my doctor on a personal level outside of the office, so why would i address her as a i address people whom i do know on a personal level that way, and in the office, she refers to me as Mrs. Dula because that is who i am to her, i would not feel disrespected if she did call me Tah, but she feels comfortable with that. I address co-workers that are older nurses and have been so since the year i was born as Ms. shirley, ms. toni..etc, patients by Mr. so and so etc. When i have professors in school i address them as mr, mrs or professor and if they are doctors of their profession, i address them as such, it is just second nature to me, ad before i came on com, it was the same with everybody i know, even people i have just met, lol..so it's interesting to see all the different points of view.

We all know that there are social norms that keep us intact and civil. I tell my children the opposite, It is up to a person how they want to be addressed, and if you are in doubt, use their title, Mrs. Mr. etc. and they will say, hey call me tom..linda..as i have to people whom i feel have comfortable with allowing to do so that they can prevent any backlash or embarrassment, as i have seen people correct others and trust me, it was embarrassing. Now i do beleive in boundaries and blame it on how we were raised, and it works for us, now for people who feel comfortable being adrressed otherwise, or taking liberties in addressing others in whatever manner they see fit without knowing 100% how the person would feel about it or what their preference is and teaching their children the same, that is also fine.

I don't think that addressing people by their first names is disrepectful in all cases, but for me, while being a mom is not the only part of my identity as i have many and am totally confident in all of them, It is a part of it, a very important part, and i have earned it and it is how i want to be addressed by my children.

Meghan - posted on 07/20/2010

yea what she said!!! LOL

Jaime - posted on 07/20/2010

And you are perfectly within your right to address your doctor as such Tah, I'm quite certain the status quo will remain in tact and people will uphold the social mores that perpetuate the importance of titleship above personal identity.

I personally would never be offended if a student or my son referred to me by my given name instead of 'teacher, miss or mom'. Nor would I ever suggest that addressing me according to my earned titles is a sign of respect. The way I see it, respect is something that exists regardless of titles. If I see a person for the first time, knowing nothing about who they are or what they do professionally, my first instinct is to treat them with kindness and respect. I will always encourage my son to learn the social schemas that help society function peacefully, but it's ultimately up to him how he chooses to address someone...and consequently it's up to him to be prepared for a potential backlash of any liberties he takes.

Meghan - posted on 07/20/2010

I agree that it DOES show respect. But I don't really believe that not doing so is a sign of disrespect.
I guess I misunderstood your point then...sorry. I just don't believe that becuase someone is in a higher sociatal standing the automatically should be called mr, mrs, dr, your honor...etc

Tah - posted on 07/20/2010

@jamie..no worries no bubble is burst, you actually helped me, it is her title that she earned and out of respet i will address her as such and so will my children.



@Meghan, i didn't say anywhere in there that it makes you more respectable, i said it shows respect to address her by the title she earned.



now this all imo as i stated and everyone is entitled to theirs.

Meghan - posted on 07/20/2010

That's a great question Toni....
Here are the deffintions of a mother
a female parent.
2. ( often initial capital letter ) one's female parent.
3. a mother-in-law, stepmother, or adoptive mother.
4. a term of address for a female parent or a woman having or regarded as having the status, function, or authority of a female parent.
5. a term of familiar address for an old or elderly woman.
6. mother superior.
7. a woman exercising control, influence, or authority like that of a mother: to be a mother to someone.
8. the qualities characteristic of a mother, as maternal affection: It is the mother in her showing itself.
9. something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else; origin or source.

That leaves it pretty open and I guess it all really just boils down to your personaly preference.

Toni - posted on 07/20/2010

Cara - it was just a general question to whomever wanted to answer me. I was just curious, many mums have said that if you are a mum you should be called mum because you deserve that title BUT I wondered about bad mums etc (as in my other post) because technically they are still mums but they do not deserve that title and so I wondered if they should still be called mum. :-)

Cara - posted on 07/19/2010

Toni, I don't know if you are asking me or everyone, so, for me, my answer was just my opinion. I gave birth to them, and I raise them, love them and care for them, so I am their mom.
That is not to knock anyone else's opinion. There are other kids I didn't give birth to who also call me mom. If that is how they feel about me, that is fine with me too. I refer to them as my sons, because that is how I feel about them.
As far as 'allowed the title' - who is deciding? I am not a judge or jury, so I can't say. Its between parent and child last I checked. And as far as mothers who abandon their children, I guess they make that choice for themselves when they abandon their children. If my mom had abandoned me, I doubt I would call her mom. Same as if she had given me up for adoption. For me, 'mom' would be the woman who raised me. But thats just me.

Toni - posted on 07/19/2010

I've got a question on the whole mom being an 'earned title', should mothers who are neglectful or just plain old bad mums be allowed this title of mum? If not how do you distinguish which mums should get the title and which should not? What about absent mums or women who gave up their babies for adoption etc, they have all given birth, which was given as a reason to use the name mum earlier - so should they be called mum or is their name fine?

Cara - posted on 07/18/2010

Hmm.. I guess I love being mom, mommy, momma and even MOTHER!! (now that I have teens). Even my daughter's boyfriend calls me mom (as I have 'adopted' him sort of) and one of her other friends as well. Neither of them have good relationships with their mothers. I love them all, so its ok. If I didn't like them, I don't think I would let them. It has to do with the feelings that go with the name, for me.
Only if they can't get my attention somewhere do they call out 'Cara! or MRS. CHASE!!!!!!'
I have friends that use the first name thing with their kids. I don't find it disrespectful, but I don't think I would like it.
Being 'mom' is something very special, and an earned title, for lack of a better word.

Meghan - posted on 07/17/2010

I was a step mom to. My ex told his son to call me mom...I told him to call me whatever he wants...and usually he called me Meghan. I still was a somehwat of an parental figure (my ex undermind me a lot) but he called me step-mom too!I wasn't comfortable with someone else's child calling me mom. It would have been different if his mom wasn't involved or had passed away.

Jaime - posted on 07/17/2010

Terrie, it's too bad the bio-grandma insists he call you by your name and not 'mom' if that's what he's comfortable with. It's understandable that he would make that connection with you, having lost his mother so young.

Terrie - posted on 07/17/2010

my step-son who's 3 calls me mom but thats only because he lost his bio-momma 2years ago in an accident... but when he goes to his nana's (bio-mom's mother) he calls me 'Terrie'.... she insists he call me by my name since I'm only a step-parent... but I hope my daughter calls me mom not by my name...

Jaime - posted on 07/16/2010

"she went to 100 years of school to be addressed as Dr. stiff and it is a sign of respect and she earned it."

Hate to burst your bubble but she went to 100 years of school to earn an above-average pay and maybe help some people if that was her primary motivation. 'Dr' is not a sign of respect, it's a professional title. Respect isn't formed by titleship.

Meghan - posted on 07/16/2010

I carried my son for 42 weeks and would ultimatley respect his choice to call someone else by their first name...just becuase you went to school "for a hundred years" doesn't make you more respectable than anyone else.

Tah - posted on 07/16/2010

i agree with everything karen said...again, to me, it is a sign of respect, children need to learn that there is a line and it need not be crossed....if my children went into there peds office and said thanks for the exam minnie..i would have a fit, and so would she...she went to 100 years of school to be addressed as Dr. stiff and it is a sign of respect and she earned it. When someone said it is a privilege to be called mom, i agree, because as they said, some people try their whole lives to acheive it and just to hear someone say mom once would be an honor and joy to them..i also receive compilments on how well mannered my children are, and i wonder what did they do so great..say excuse me when they saw us speaking, call you Mrs. jones, or Ms. Denise, say good morning, not act like park apes, that should be the norm for children, i believe some lines are blurred for them, an adult is an adult and should be addressed by their titles, imo..i also teach my children to respect everyone but i am who i am to different people, like someone said, under 18 and not a co-worker, Ms. Tah or Mrs. Dula....co-workers and patients, Tah, children MOM..and siblings friends and introuductions to other grownups..again Tah..thats what is for me....my sister is has nephews 1 and 2 years younger than her, they hang out, bowl, party(they are between 18-23, she being 23)..mall etc..and they all call her Aunt Mae the same as the neices and nephews between 3-15 do, because that is who she is to them and if they call her Mae, the party stops, she will fix it and then the party can begin again...

Jaime - posted on 07/16/2010

Good point Megs! I agree that respect doesn't have to be "earned" in the sense that if someone has a title, they MUST be referred to as such in order to maintain respect for their practices. I also agree that children deserve respect just as much as adults...and probably more so. Children are impressionable and they mostly learn by observation. If they see respect in its' pure intentions, they are likely to reciprocate and perpetuate that same respect...regardless of any titles. If I scream at my son, he gets very upset and has a tantrum, but if I calmly talk to him he stops what he's doing and listens to me...9 times out of 10 he has more success with his listening when I am able to be in control of my emotions and respect his right to learn and make mistakes.

Meghan - posted on 07/16/2010

I had a teacher in highschool who told us on the first day that we could call him Mr.. or his first name....we ALL called him Mr...I call my lawer by his first name...unless we are in court. (Then again I have known him for 15 years.) Respect is NOT something that has to be "earned". I try to teach my son to respect EVERYONE. From bums on the street to the President. But you have to treat children with respect too. As far as our circumstance goes, I am not religious...I woudn't expect my son to place more respect to a priest or pope than my friends or family. If my son wanted to call his Doctor by his first name-fly atter.
As long as my son doesn't start calling me horrible names he can call me whatever he wants. I love hearing him say mom-like I said..and I wont encourage anything other than that but I am in charge. He has a lot of respect and love for me. He is well behaved and has also started trying to shake strangers hands and say "nice to meet you." You don't need to teach your children that adults are above or greater than you to teach them respect

Jaime - posted on 07/16/2010

Some people don't get the chance to become doctors, lawyers or the Queen of England either but I still don't think it's disrespectful to call a person by their name. The formality in question is socially-manifested. I agree that it is wonderful to be a mother, but does the absence of the title make you any less of a mother? I don't think it does. Just as a doctor is still a doctor if someone calls him 'Steve' (so long as that's his name of course).

Sarah - posted on 07/16/2010

I would feel very DISRESPECTED if my child called me by my first name and not mom, mommy, or mama.. I think that being called mom is very precious. Why? Some people don't even get the chance to have this blessing to become a mommy... So IMO its like a privilige to be called mom.. I mean joking around is fine but as it being permanent I don't think so!!

Kathy - posted on 07/16/2010

I've always been 'Mum" but I really don't care what I'm called. My kids used to be able to get a ton of disrespect into that little word "mum" when it suited them, or when I was being a pain!

Stephanie - posted on 07/15/2010

I would much rather be called mom but wouldn't necessarily find it disrespectful to be called Stephanie by my son.

Jodi - posted on 07/15/2010

"It is easy to use a 'respectful' title in a disrespectful manner so I don't place too much importance on mere words."

Oooh, yes! The teenage "Yes, MOTHER" accompanied by the eye-roll......disrespect is in the usage and tone, not the word.

Fiona - posted on 07/15/2010

I don't really care what my son decides to call me, it isn't an issue for me. Mum, mama, mummy, Fiona, Fi... whatever, no biggie. I guess we will wait and see what he chooses.

My nephew calls his parents mum and dad (or mummy and papa) when he talks to them, but when he talks about them he sometimes uses their first names. This doesn't seem strange to me, but I guess some people/cultures are more concerned about the respect aspect of titles than I am. I know my son loves me and I him, I hope that he will always love and respect me. I believe it is our actions that will reflect this in our relationship, not just the use of titles. It is easy to use a 'respectful' title in a disrespectful manner so I don't place too much importance on mere words.

Jaime - posted on 07/15/2010

Nothing wrong with a gypsy spirit Olwen! I think it's great that you are able to travel with your baby...I hope to be able to travel with my son some day...probably not while he's young as finances are an issue at the moment...but some day. I was asking where you're from because I wondered if your culture was also a bit more laid back about titles as opposed to North America. My friend is from Iran and he has always referred to his parents by their given names...it's just how it is for them. And I can understand that to some extent people need to adapt to the cultural practices of the country that they inhabit, but I find this particular issue to be something socially rooted, not culturally rooted as most believe it to be.

Olwen - posted on 07/15/2010

I'm from Ireland but I'm a bit of a wandering hobo. LOL. We like to travel a lot, baby and all. We're currently in New Zealand but are leaving for argentina in 4 weeks. Woo Hoo.

Jaime - posted on 07/15/2010

Olwen, if I may ask...where are you from?

Olwen - posted on 07/15/2010

I called my mum by her name until i was about 5 or 6 but when i started school kids picked on me so i starting calling her mum. But i still like calling her by first frist name. I've done the same with my daughter, she calls me olwen or mom, i don't mid.

Toni - posted on 07/15/2010

Karen - I have encountered parents like this but they are not the norm - and yes because they are not being disciplined correctly you are right they are terrors BUT the name they give adults is not responsible for this the lack of discipline is.

IMO if you wish to be addressed with a title by under 18's that is your perogative and if once you have made this clear they still choose not to use your title that is rude and disrespectful, I agree that they should not choose to call you something other than what you want them to call you. I however, am happy for children to use my name - it is my name and is not disrespectful to me (sometimes my nieces and nephews call me auntie sometimes just call me Toni - I am not offended by either, although I do like being called auntie), I want my children to call me mommy but there are occasions when he may need to use my name for instance if he got lost he would need to tell the police my name, if we were in a crowded place and he needed me quickly in an emergency my name would be more appropriate to get my attention.

"do kids get to refer to Teachers, Doctors, Priests, Ministers, Nuns, the President by their first name because they need options?"

Yes if the person is ok with them calling them by their first name, if it is somebody they don't know and they are introduced as Ian Fellows (just a random name) then it is ok for children to call him Ian, however if he was introduced as Mr Fellows that is what he should be called. We knew some of our teachers first names and used them and had MORE respect for those teachers because they showed us more respect! Children are people and deserve respect as much as adults, just not as much freedom not because they have not earned it but because as adults we are wiser to the world and its dangers!

"Was your emotional growth stunted and did you not develop into a healthy adult because you addressed grownups with a title of respect?"

I was not forced to call all adults mr/mrs (although I did and still do call my aunties/ uncles by auntie/ uncle because they like it) and was given the freedom to use my common sense (see above for how to distinguish what to call adults), please do not confuse this with me having a lack of respect I was always polite, and do not think my mom was too liberal because she is the best mom in the world - she taught me that children need respect and should also be heard and allowed to have an opinion - this does not mean that childrens opinions should always be followed because they do not always know best!

Jaime - posted on 07/15/2010

Karen I can see your point and I think you have made a good argument against kids calling their parents by their first names...but I still think the ties of respect and titles comes from our social roots--not from privilege. There are some cultures that don't subscribe to our beliefs about titles and I have a friend that refers to his parents by their first name and he has the utmost respect for them.

Becky - posted on 07/15/2010

I don't think young kids are being disrespectful if they call you by your first name. After all, that is your name. Sure I prefer "mom", but sometimes that doesn't catch my attention, but Becky does. Plus, I think most kids go through a stage when they are learning everyone's names so they just roll with it for a while.

On a side note, I was told by one of my kids' pre-k teachers that it was alarming the number of kids who didn't know their parents names. To me, them not knowing it is more concerning then them calling you by that.

Karen - posted on 07/15/2010

Toni - it does matter who makes the choice, the adult gets that privilege not the kids.

You are lucky because you haven't encountered the type of Parents that are more willing to be their kids friends. I have encountered it as a coach, teacher, and just observation. Also, parents try to talk things to death because they are so concerned about their kids "opinions". As a result, kids become "holy terrors" for lack of a better term. Watch any playground and you'll see that very thing. I am always amazed at being complimented on my child's manners and respect for adults because it is not a choice for her. Unfortunately she is often in the minority and some of that stems from an erosion of boundaries.

The other problem is it becomes an issue for me as an adult. I am addressed by a title by any child under 18 with whom I am not a co-worker, team member, etc. However, when I express my wishes and attempt to gently correct the situation I am faced with adults who jump all over my case because kids need "options" and to decide how they wish to address you because otherwise you "stunt their emotional growth and self-esteem". Sorry, that is just rude and ill-mannered, I am not their friend. Too many kids are being given the idea that they are in charge and have the say-so.

Again I ask - do kids get to refer to Teachers, Doctors, Priests, Ministers, Nuns, the President by their first name because they need options? Was your emotional growth stunted and did you not develop into a healthy adult because you addressed grownups with a title of respect?

Jaime - posted on 07/15/2010

I don't advocate for anything yet Karen...I believe I have already made clear that I am curious to gain insight and perspective about what I believe to be the phenomenon of 'titleship'. I am genuinely curious about how we have come to equate respect with certain titles, whereby disregard for a title suggests to some that the respect is no longer being upheld and boundaries or authority are being blurred. That I disagree with. I didn't refer to my teachers by their first names until university. If I knew my doctor for a number of years I might refer to him by his first name...in Canada we don't refer to our head of Parliament as 'Prime Minister' we call him Steven Harper...or Dumbass! And I probably wouldn't refer to the U.S. President as 'President Obama' either. In all honesty I don't find it disrespectful if a child/student refers to an adult/teacher by their first name...and this is my point. I feel like we are sometimes so hung up on the ideal of titleship = respect that it becomes a personal, rather than a societally-viewed insult. I am a teacher and if my students referred to me as Jaime, I would be absolutely fine with it. In saying that, I would first and foremost in any professional setting, lay out the ground work of communication because I believe THAT is the foundation for mutual respect amongst students and teachers---not whether or not they call me Miss Burns. Operating a classroom is much the same as operating a home...there is teaching and learning of respect on all facets of life...not just someone's name or professional title. I would never encourage my son to call me Jaime, nor would I encourage students to call me Jaime either (I should note that I am an ESL teacher and I don't work in the public school system as yet). I am simply saying that I find it fascinating how our society merges idealism and titleship to coerce respect amongst its citizens...and more peculiarly within the private sector as much as the public sector.

Toni - posted on 07/15/2010

Karen - Does it matter who makes the choice if the parent is happy with the choice that has been made?

I disagree that society has made parents want to be their childs friend rather than parents - it is possible to be liked by your kids and for you to still be their parents - talking to your children and giving them options allows them to have 'a say' in what they do while you can maintain respect and the ultimate decision. I never said that kids knowing their boundaries will stop them growing up into healthy adults I said NOT allowing children to form opinions of their own will.

Personally I think it is ok to call people what they wish to be called whether that be mad head or mrs... etc.

Jessica - posted on 07/15/2010

I agree with Karen. In my eyes this falls along the same line as parents who lets there kids do whatever (and then wonder why they don't listen later on) and the line between child and parent is getting lost, or kids not being able to "lose" at sports cause it might "hurt there self esteem". Children of course still deserve opinions, but they are still just that, children. Actually the more I think about it this it kinda makes me think of movies and tv shows where a new Grandma asks her grandchild to call her by her first name so she doesnt feel old.... lol. The way I look at it, many people in life will call me Mrs.Seymour or by my first name, but the only people who get to call me mom are my kids, and that should be special. :) But thats just my thoughts and they may not work or apply for everyone.

Karen - posted on 07/15/2010

So Jaime - you advocate calling teachers by their first names? Your Doctor? The President? Have you seen the disrespect shown to a teacher or another adult in a school lately and you advocate removing that last line of respect completely because it doesn't conform to idealism? I suspect that many, many teachers would disagree with you.

Karen - posted on 07/15/2010

Toni - it stems from who makes that decision. Is it the parent who has made that decision or the child who makes that decision? If it is the parent then they choose to give that choice. If it is the child, it is not the child's choice to make. The devolution of formality in our society has led to adults trying to be their kids friends rather than their parents and to expect that other adults not enforce any rules or respect. Ask public school teachers what it's like to deal with parents who stifle their ability to hold their child to certain expectations, one of which is to be treated with respect. And no, I don't feel it's a bad thing and will not prevent kids from growing up to be healthy adults if they realize that there are boundaries. Methods of addressing adults by titles not only indicate that kids are not adults and are not their friends, but of acknowledging that the adults have earned those titles by virtue of their training, education, wisdom, and time on earth. Would it be OK to call your Doctor by their first name? A judge? A Police Officer? Grandparents? Their teachers? Why are Parents not worthy of being accorded the same respect just because the child deems it so? Children deserve an opinion in certain things, but their are other things that they may have an opinion but have not earned the right to act upon that opinion. They are kids, not adults, and it is not appropriate to give them the impression that they are friends.

Jaime - posted on 07/15/2010

I disagree Karen that "kids don't get a vote in the matter until they've earned it". Since when is it a privilege to be able to call someone by their first name? I mean really if you think about it...that is there name. It's not an insult, it's not disrespectful, it's their name. It's not like I'm saying "hey douche canoe..."--now THAT would be far more insulting than my name being said to me by my child.



I guess it just keeps going back to idealism for me. Hundreds of years of societal ideals have been built upon from the very "humble" beginnings of social hierarchy and have snowballed into the idea that with each title earned, comes a new level of respect to be upheld by all others in regards to said title. I will admit that the thought of calling my parents by their first names would be awkward and take a long time to get used to, but I don't think it's altogether impossible to refer to parents by their names and maintain the dynamics of the parent-child relationship and the MUTUAL respect that goes along with it.

Toni - posted on 07/15/2010

@Karen - do you not think that if the parent is happy for their child to call them by their name it is not an issue of respect? Surely if the parent has given consent then it is ok, after all it is up to us to set boundaries for our kids - not society. Also do you not think that children deserve an opinion? Without allowing them an opinion how can they develop into a healthy adult?

Karen - posted on 07/15/2010

"I would prefer Mom but if my daughter decides Jessie then that is her choice."

This is where we differ - since when do children get to decide what to call adults? It's not the child's choice. Would it be acceptable for the child to decide to call a teacher by their first name because that is "their choice"? Kids are kids and adults are adults and adults have earned the right to be addressed with a respectful title. Kids don't get a vote in the matter until they've earned it.

Jessie - posted on 07/15/2010

I don't think either is a big deal and know of kids that call their parents by their first names. I would prefer Mom but if my daughter decides Jessie then that is her choice.

Gina - posted on 07/15/2010

I've always wanted to be a mum, so I was thrilled when I had my daughter and she started calling me mum. When she first started to talk, she'll say Gina and it was soo cute.Now she's 12, when she calls me, I try to hide!!! AHHH just give me 5 minutes!

Jodi - posted on 07/15/2010

Jaime, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Being a step-parent, my step-kids call me by my first name, but I am still an authority figure in this house and must be respected as such. If I have rules, they are the rules. I don't see that that relationship would change whether they called me mum (which I would never expect in a million years) or Jodi. My son calls my husband Rob. Certainly not out of disrespect or because he believes he is on equal footing.....my husband still has the parental authority as one of the adults in this house, and he still gains the same respect as if he were called dad.

I certainly don't encourage my biological kids to call me by my name, because I love to be called mum, but I certainly don't suddenly believe they are being disrespectful by calling me by my name either.

Jaime - posted on 07/15/2010

I think the use of given names is somehow becoming equated with a distinctive 'line' between authority figure and friend. As I stated earlier, I have friends that refer to their parents by their first name because as part of their culture they don't subscribe to the belief that having a title denotes more respect in the position of parenthood. I think that's what I'm curious about...why in some countries we fully believe that in order to be respected as a parent, we must be referred to at all times by children, in that context. If my son called me 'Jaime' instead of 'mom' I wouldn't automatically assume a friendship role with him...I'm still his mother, the biology of the situation does not change. And it's merely a name...I'm not handing over my position as parent simply by allowing my son to call me Jaime if he so chooses, so I don't think I can agree that it is disrespectful or that it will blur the line between parent and friend.

Amy - posted on 07/15/2010

I call my mom Connie at times because she owns a business and it's more professional when I'm helping clients out instead of saying mom. My kids call me mom They call my husband daddy. My son's name is not little buddy and my daughter's name is not punkin, but we call them that often. They know who we're talking about. I prefer my kids to call me mom until they are about sixteen. I agree with jessica, mom first, friend second. I didn't call my mom connie until i was out of school. I was just raised that it's a form or respect.

Jessica - posted on 07/15/2010

I will be Mommy and Mom to my daughter when she learns to talk, thats what I am to her. My friends call me by my first name, I will be a parent first and then friend.. :) So no, I don't think kids should call there parents by there first name...unless they aren't close or something... but 2 each there own.

Jess - posted on 07/15/2010

Since my brother and I grew up and moved out and started our own families our mother has become less responsive to the name mum. So if we are out and call her mum is often doesn't respond until you say her name. And then she realises its us calling out to her ! Crazy lady !!!

I would prefer my daughter call me mum, but since she is an only child and everyone else calls me Jess, I wouldn't be surprised if at some point to calls me Jess though ! That would be kinda funny to hear.

Karen - posted on 07/14/2010

In my opinion, a child calling an adult by their given name is putting the adult on the same level as the child and is a sign of disrespect. In fact, DD refers to our names as our "grownup names" meaning our given names and our "kid names" meaning Mom/Dad/Mr/Mrs. Unfortunately, too many adults want to be more of a friend than an authority figure and a child referring to adult without using a proper title begins to blur that line. Mom is a title that I have earned just as Mrs. is a title that I have earned and it should be used. In that vein I also don't allow my child to refer to other adults by their given names but she uses titles. To her it's no big deal but it's less confusing to use the title for all adults because she doesn't have to wonder "is it OK to call them by a 1st name or not?" In the end, I view it as a sign of respect between a child and an adult. As a matter of fact, even though I'm a grown up now, the adults that were in my life as a child are still referred to with a title, I wouldn't dream of using given names (and usually it's "Mom" because most of my friends' Moms don't respond to anything else LOL)