I'm really scared of peadofiles

Kim - posted on 02/11/2011 ( 38 moms have responded )

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Lately I've been petrified of peadofiles, It's all I can talk about, Its all I think about. I was abused once when young and he's still out there, becoming a preist, husband and father. www.chris-uk.org is a website created by a man called chris (funnily enough) he was abused when young by his best friend's dad along with his best friend. He updates this website daily and on facebook too. I get so angry and so upset when I read them I have to let the other mothers know, that there are peadofiles out there and they are abusing children right now in lots of different places. Now where do you all stand on peadofiles? and would you like to know where they live? On chris' site uk residents can search up their town/village/city and find their local peadofiles. I was going to move to a new house the opposite side of town until I found out there is a child molester on the same street. how do you all feel about outdoor paddling pools? peadofile's paradise or a fun family day? I was at the paddling pool 2yrs ago and there was a man videoing the kids around the pool, we didn't see anyone with him so we called the police and he ran away. Just want to spead the word and to help the cruelty stop.

just the other day chris found out a local man in a village was a peadofile, he used to be the sweet shop owner and the lolly pop man. he was 50yr old and he had had sex with under 13yr olds and lured them with his sweets and hot chocolate. he molested 2 under 16s in his bed above the sweet shop after offering the girls hot chocolate. he had also found to be texting a girl aged 12 as her boyfriend and had brought her thong, bra and suspenders for valentines last yr.

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Charlie - posted on 02/18/2011

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"Its made me stronger not more scared."

Kim I sympathize , I really do but EVERY single one of your posts including the very one that quote came from says otherwise .

Where do I stand on public pools ...my only issue is they are gross , full of dead skin , urine and band aids have you seen a pair of boys swimmer nappys or speedos? I won't be covering my children head to toe in fear all I can do is be aware of my surroundings .

Sherri - posted on 02/18/2011

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Just an FYI 90% of sexual abuse happens by people that the children know and will trust 100%. A parent, family member, next door neighbor, teacher, clergy member etc.

The likely hood it will ever be a stranger is rare to none. So really you should be more leary of the people around you then anyone that is in the general public.

Also sometimes the child sexual abuse laws are retarded I personally know a man that got nailed for sexual abuse and has to register as a sex offender and you know why because he was 17 and had a 15 yr old girlfriend and they had sex. The parents pressed charges on him and now he will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life when he is NOT all he did was have sex with his girlfriend in high school.

Laura - posted on 02/15/2011

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Kim, I stand by my advise to you because I am very concerned about YOU as a person. I have dealt with victims of sexual abuse, professionally, in the past and I CARE ABOUT YOU! Please consider continuing or re-newing counceling for yourself. You obviously have unresolved emotional issues about your abuse when you were young. I can tell because of your post: You use words like "scared" and "petrified" to describe how you feel about pedophiles in your title and opening post! I think it's quite reasonable for me and other posters here to deduece that you are dealing with "fear" from that. By all means continue with your message--it is valuable, no doubt--but in the meantime take care of yourself mentally and emotionally by seeking professional counceling in dealing with your fears. I would go so far as to suggest that you either start or join a support group in your area for others, like yourself, who were victims of child sexual abuse. There you can find emotional support in a safe and nurturing environment. I care enough about you as a person to suggest you message me if you want to talk more about this. No child should have to endure what you did and it takes a strong person to even admit that! Use your strength to help yourself, too!

Laura - posted on 02/14/2011

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Kim, while I appreciate your concern about pedophiles and your desire to spread the word to other moms, you need to understand, too, that you can not control how others react or take that news! Your fears, paranoia, and concerns are NOT shared by everyone, including me. I live in a small town that seems to have an inordinate number of pedophiles registered with some living not too far from us. One, for example, is a former sheriff that actually lives across from the local school! He needed a special varience to remain in his house (it was his residence long before his conviction). I know this man. He actually has some good qualities to him. I don't trust him alone with my daughter, however, as not only would that potentially put my daughter in jeopardy but that would be an unfair temptation for this individual who has a mental illness. I have instructed my daughter to never be around him without me or her dad present. Due diligence (which includes seeking info on where these people are registered) and educating your children about appropriate "touch" and adult behavior towards them is all any parent can do. Fear and paranoia, however, can cloud good judgement and decision-making skills for anyone on any subject.

These men, as most pedophiles/sex offenders are, are terribly sick individuals psychologically, to be sure, so I will not argue that point. But even that needs to taken with a grain of salt as some REGISTERED offenders may not have actually committed such horrible crimes against children as you might think: There was a case in Florida where an 18 year old boy had consensual sex with his 16 year old girlfriend and was arrested for statutory rape per the existing laws. He then had to register as a sex offender/pedophile! Many offenders, especially young, teen men, have been caught in this "loophole" in many states. Some have been required to register as sex offenders and others have not.

Registered offenders have paid their debt to society through the legal system and have a legal right to live in peace under whatever laws exist to limit their actions and access to children. So I leave the registered offenders alone in my town, instructing my daughter to do the same. She has been taught to be vigilent for some of the "tricks" these people use to lure kids so I don't worry about her falling for them. Besides, she isn't the type of child these individuals like to go for anyway--she's far too confident and assured of herself to fall for their BS! No, the kids these people target are the shy, lonely kids, lacking in self-esteem, who they know will eat up any attention given to them. Teaching kids to be confident and self-assured is another way to protect them from these creeps!
So thanks, Kim, for the warning--it is duely noted. I just am not afraid of them to the degree you seem to be. And because of that paranoia and fear that you continue to have, I sincerely hope you will continue with counceling--that will ultimately provide you with the greatest help rather than trying to convince others to be as afraid as you are. I'm not saying this to be mean or belittling; I say this as someone who has worked with teen sex offenders/predators and know about their behaviors AND their victims' behaviors. You have been a victim and need to continue working on your emotions, especially the fear and paranoia. The Kinks said it best: "Paranoia will destroy ya!" Take care, Kim!

Mary Renee - posted on 02/17/2011

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Wow! I know I get so freaked out that I have to turn off the television sometimes when it's like Oprah or Intervention and they're talking about sexual abuse from their childhood. It has to be the most traumatic thing ever, I'm sorry you went through it.

Sadly enough though, I think the overwhelming majority of the time it's someone the parents know and so calling the police on every single guy at the pool might not be the right answer.


Luckily, I was never the victim of sexual abuse. I credit this in part to my parents teaching me things very young. I can still remember being like 3 or 4 years old and having the "stranger" talk, and the "private parts" touch. They told me basically, you never go with a stranger anywhere. Even if someone tells you that they need help looking for a puppy, or even if they say that your mom sent them to pick you up from school, you never go with them. We even had a code word, so in the event that there actually WAS an emergency and someone else had to pick me up from after-school care, they would have to say the password before I would go with them. I never went anywhere with anyone unless I had my parent's permission.

And the private parts touch was basically you don't show anybody yours and if anyone shows you theirs you find your parents or your teacher immediately. Only the doctor can touch you. I remember having a little sister and being so oblivious I was like what about when my grandma changes my little sister's diaper? And they were like "Uh... that's ok." Haha. But obviously it stuck with me because I still remember the conversation from 20 years ago.

I think the goal is not to be afraid but to be vigilant. Don't let children small enough to be taken advantage of out unsupervised. Now I know why I wasn't allowed at the movie theater when I was 12.

It's scary because my boyfriend talks about how when our daughter is 11 or 12 she can ride her bike down to the beach (Waikiki) and I'm like "uh... what are you talking about?" Men don't get it the same way women do. I don't think it's an obvious thing to them. As women we even have to worry about ourselves, being physically smaller than most men. It can be scary if you worry about it too much. As long as you're smart, you're good. But I get what you're saying about worry about other people's kids, but you can't worry about everyone on the planet, it's totally futile.

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Mary Renee - posted on 02/19/2011

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As a side note, I live in Hawaii and I've totally let my 9-month-old play at the beach naked. Sometimes I use a swim diaper but they're kind of a pain and if I don't have one I let her go butt naked. It's a very common practice here.



I wouldn't let like a 6 year old run around naked in public, but a baby/toddler at the beach is a-ok to me. If there are any pedofiles around - whatever - I'm WITH my child at the beach, no one is going to do anything to her while she's in my arms.



It's kind of sad to worry so much about kids being naked. I had cousins that didn't wear swim suits until they were four. I don't think their parents are stupid for that. It's a cultural thing and I think being naked in your own backyard pool or at the beach isn't that big of a deal and it isn't "stupid." It's just different.



That's at the beach though, she wears swim diapers at the pool because I don't want people to get worried she's going to poop in the pool! haha

Kim - posted on 02/18/2011

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THANKS MARY A LOT! THATS THE KIND OF THING I WANT TO HEAR! not that I have problems. I'm not saying I'm over what happened to me, but i've dealt with it, i've done my councelling. No one is ever going to get over an abusive childhood wether it be rape or neglect. Its made me stronger not more scared. I'm not going back into councelling because I don't need it anymore. The Questions were how do you stand on peadofiles. I don't ring on every person I see down the park, but that guy was videoing kids (some were naked and young, stupid parents let their children run around in a nappy or pants, yes even girls) He did run away. I hope they caught him and put him away because they had the tape that was enough evidence. I hope any parent would do the same and ring the police. It was a public paddingpool outside. Now where do you all stand on Public swimming pools?

Kim - posted on 02/15/2011

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This has been posted today in my local newspaper. It is my town : http://www.granthamjournal.co.uk/news/gr...

I do write very strong emotions into my posts but thats only because I get angry and upset over what I've heard. Also last year there was someone recording 2 11yr olds under the cubicle in the local and only indoor swimming pools. And he's not been caught yet to my knowledge. Now I hear there was a guy exposing themselves in town.

Jess - posted on 02/14/2011

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I think Teresa has a really good point. I think what you're trying to do is really great, but there may be other ways to achieve the desired effect.



Last night I googled sex offenders list's in my area. There isn't an official one from the government but I did come across a fact sheet from the government to help parents sort of facts from myths.



Perhaps making people aware of websites like that may help and reach out to a broader audience. The fact sheet was really informative and I learnt a lot that I didn't know about how pedophiles choose their victims and of those who are realised which are more likely to re-offend and which ones you should really be concerned about. For example a father who molest's his daughter is unlikely to assault your child who just happens to live next door. Educating yourself is the best way to protect your family and the kids in your neighbourhood.

[deleted account]

Kim.... we are only saying that by reading what you are writing. If you AREN'T living in fear... good, I'm really glad, but it SOUNDS like you are by reading what you are writing. If you want to reach more people to protect their kids.... you might want to think about how you sound to them cuz I really think MORE people will listen if you don't come across as if this fear is ruling your life.

Kim - posted on 02/14/2011

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I know one parent taught her girl it's called a box. yes you can guess what happened. I don't like how everyone is saying stuff about my emotions and how i'm letting it "rule my life". I agree Sara, they should be taught the correct words and everything really. not in detail, but appropriate for their age.

[deleted account]

Kim, no one said they didn't care. All parents are aware of this issue. Many just stated that they can't think about it all day long. It is definitely important to teach kids that their private parts should not be touched or looked at by anyone. One reason why I think that proper names of private parts should be taught (penis, vagina, etc) because if you call it a Susie and your child tries to tell the teacher that Billy touched her Susie the teacher may not know what the heck that means.

Kim - posted on 02/14/2011

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Oh and I'm referring to UK! I don't think he's streched as far as america yet, but he's working on australia and other places on request. thats why it's chris-uk.org

Kim - posted on 02/14/2011

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thanks sherri, but you should tell chris of those people so he can put them on there. As he has spent the last 4years or so putting together this website. and is updating about 200 more each day, with the thanks to all people who are intrested and helping.

Kim - posted on 02/14/2011

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children and children ? Jamie Bulger? who can't control it like no other. all you can do is make your child aware! that is all i'm asking now. do it for your kids as you obviously don't care what else i'm saying.

Sherri - posted on 02/14/2011

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Okay the other site she listed has Zero listed and still it doesn't change my stance. I don't worry about it or live my life in fear of it. I do what I can to protect my kids and at the end of the night I lay my head down comfortably at night knowing I have done all I can to keep the safe.

Kim - posted on 02/14/2011

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As I have said before I am looking to move but I found somewhere and a peadofile was living on that street. I'm not living in constant fear. I am spreading the word to whose who will listen. I worry about it, I worry about the children. I don't care what you think about me. I'M DOING THIS FOR THE CHILDREN! Do me a favour then IF you don't care about peadofiles. Just make sure your child knows whats right and wrong. Just do that and thats a few children who know. I'm obviously talking about the ones who are old enough to know. Just talk to them and make sure that they know that another person is not allowed to touch their private parts or groom them, strangers and sweets, not to go into people's houses if they invite them in alone. Just make them aware what is right and wrong. please stop with the living in constant fear crap cuz I hate it. and i'm not. I keep watch on those who cannot look out for themselves. I do not want another child being touched, kidnapped, molstered or raped; or all.

[deleted account]

My view on pedophiles? If you don't feel safe where you are... move. Do whatever it takes to get you and your child to a place where you CAN feel safe. Still be cautious and aware no matter where you live, yes, but living in constant fear (as it sure seems in your posts that you ARE doing) is not healthy and can very well destroy you more than what has already happened to you.

Sherri - posted on 02/14/2011

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Eh I was sexually molested for almost 3yrs. I have no fears of pedophiles. Don't live in fear and don't have my kids live that way either. I am very conscious as to who's house they visit and whom they are every with. However, honestly you can be the most diligent parent in the world and it can still happen to your child. So to live in constant fear it COULD happen no I don't and won't do it. I don't search the internet to find out where they all are located, I don't scan police reports about it. We just live normal everyday lives with that honestly a very rare thought.

Kim - posted on 02/14/2011

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Oh yeah and the paddling pool I was referring to was a park pool. Main park in my town, I may write about sex offenders. I may scare you, or petrify you even. But to be honest I want to because it's the only way people ever listen!

Kim - posted on 02/14/2011

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I am trying to tell those mums that don't tell their kids about it. I'm trying to prove to people that they are still out there wether they like it or not. Yes these people are sick and twisted individuals but some parents are the peadofiles themselves. I may be getting so angry that I put all my fears in these messages. I'm not seeing my counceller anymore. I'm not that scared that I don't leave my house. I'm not trying to pass my fears and make everyone fear the same i do. I'm trying to say that we should all teach our children about whats right and wrong between adults and children, also children and children god bless that poor boy Jamie Bulger. not to go off with anyone else. To show to parents that not all people are trust worthy like my parents showed the trust in my babysitter. I'm spreading the word of Chris. chris-uk.org I'm spreading the word to all. I'm not a paranoid wreck as some of you think (thanks) I'm not living in fear anymore. I'm scared for my boy but he will know when he's old enough. I'm scared for all the future children that are going to be abused, some happening now. I'm so scared for them as I know what they are going threw. Yes some young men are wrongly charged. still doesn't mean that it's right does it? 13?! thats not old enough to have sex, someone must have told the police for him to get caught. It is wrong no matter the age. anyone who is caught having sex with an under age person is breaking the law no matter if it's concented or not. (my spelling isn't very good forgive me) I live in england not the states so the law is a bit different here I think, maybe. I know it is on sex and drinking ages. If anyone comments on this saying I'm scared and stop passing my fears on I'm gonna stop coming on here because it's unfair and is making me upset. I've seen my counceller. I've done my sessions. It didn't make a bit of difference to my court case against him. I had a rape alarm in case he came near me because he lives near my mum who's about 3streets away. It's not nice living in fear that the person who you're trying to get put in prison is walking down the next aisle in your local shop or that he's going to follow me home because I got him arrested. It didn't do a bit of good that he broke his bail by getting in contact with me on the internet and leaving me nasty messages. So FORGIVE ME if I'm trying to spread the word of peadofiles. especially when I hear that my next door neighbour, who's just moved, might be one too. It's not nice thinking that a peadofile is sleeping in the next bedroom to my son. I'm passing the message on to parents that don't care. If you all read the 2nd part to my 1st post then It says what's YOUR views on peadofiles NOT how I'm paranoid and fear is controlling my life. Thank for the good words whoever did send them x

Jess - posted on 02/14/2011

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Its always a concern, but you can't live in fear. Be Alert not Alarmed is my motto.

We have a paddling pool in our backyard, which isn't exactly private, but its pretty sheltered and Ava has played naked once in the pool. I kept my eye on the houses around us, I don't think anyone was home around us at the time. Had I noticed someone just chilling out on their balcony at the time I would have taken Ava straight inside. I would never let her go naked anywhere in public though.

I hate to say it, but even sex offenders need to live somewhere and if that can't be in prison then it has to be communities and unfortunately, childless communities aren't exactly common !

The best thing you can do is be aware of who is around your family. I understand your concern, but don't let it take over your life, You don't want a self-for-filling prophecy and sex offenders pray on those who are a weak, you don't want to get so worried that you can't see the wood for the trees.

[deleted account]

There are 5 registered sex offenders on the island that I live on (I've checked). Only one was convicted for crimes against children. I KNOW there could be more here that haven't been caught, but the chances of any of my kids running into them or ever being alone w/ them are SO slim that worrying about it would be pointless. Be cautious and aware, yes, but I know where we are and I know they are more than likely safe. If I DIDN'T feel that way.... I'd move.

Kim - posted on 02/12/2011

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Also there have been cases where a man becomes trusted my a single mother and become step father and abused his step child/children. Just to throw that out there.

Kim - posted on 02/12/2011

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I also am not saying all preist are peadofiles. please can everyone read it again and see I did not put this, as many of them may be i'm not saying that every scout leader is one, i'm not saying every doctor, nurse, nursery worker, teacher, factory worker, neighbour or uncles are peadofiles. But maybe if you think they are, they may be. I'm saying they are out there and living amongst us but not all have been convicted yet.

Kim - posted on 02/12/2011

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I've had professional help thank you all for your advice. I'm not that scared or stupid to leave my son alone or with someone i don't trust. I'm only paranoid that other people don't care. All I care about is preventing another and another child being raped and abused by people they trust and love. The thing is everyone trusts friends and family, when some of them aren't to be trusted, I'm not saying that every family has a peadofile in amongst them, I'm saying that maybe that uncle that tells you he likes you a bit too much is. I'm saying that I have had friends saying that their uncles and cousins have had forced sex with them or touched them inappropriatly. Not enough of you mothers suspect that the next door neighbour of 80 might have raped a 13yr old when he was 50. I got told my neighbour was a abuser! I didn't know! My son's bedroom was right next to his! Parents need to know that there are peadofiles are out there living on our streets and in our schools, nurseries, and child protection services. If you all just went on the website and looked. scout leaders : peadofile photo ring leaders. trainee doctors: peadofile. they meet and chat on newgon.org and say how the world doesn't "get them" how it's a good thing to love a child's naked body. It's sick and you all need to know about them. I'm not saying I'm obsessed I'm spreading the word.
www.chris-uk.org is a site for uk residents to look up where there are peadofiles. please parents mothers of the uk or anywhere look it up. look up your town/ city or village. I had a friend, 1 out of a group, around my age when i was 17, he's now on that list he's 21 now.
please if you all are concerned someone is a peadofile look them up, or tell chris as he is set up with the police. I cannot stress this enough. I'm not saying give money or anything, i'm just saying keep your family safe by knowing where these sick people are.

[deleted account]

Kim, pedophiles are every parent's nightmare. You're not alone in wanting to protect your children from that threat. It's a good thing you're vigilant about keeping them safe.

I'm so sorry to hear that you were not only abused but that you got no semblance of closure and that your abuser is still out there living a his life freely. I'm certainly no expert, but it seems like your childhood experience is haunting you to the point where it's running your life. A friend of mine once told me that in psychology, no issue is considered a problem unless it stops a person from living a normal life. If you're obsessing to the point where it's all you can talk about or think about, it seems like maybe it's time to seek professional help.

[deleted account]

Don't live your life in fear but at the same time be aware. Do not leave your young children unsupervised, only leave them with people you know and really trust, and teach them about appropriate and unappropriate behaviour as they grow up, as well as teaching them that if they ever need to talk to you about anything they can.

Yes paedophiles are a reality but they are a minority not a majority, don't let your fear run your life.

Jackie - posted on 02/11/2011

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It always amazes me at the lack of concern some parents have about sex offenders. I try to let my neighbors know whenever a new violent sex offender moves into our neighborhood, I have had parents tell me that they don't care or they aren't worried... they won't even look at the picture or the address.

When I was younger, my friend's mother would let men rent rooms in her house. The shared bathroom for the family members and these renters was in a separate part of the house... way too easy for them to have access to my friend and her brother. I met some of these renters and huge red flags went up.

It is one thing to let fear control your life but being informed and vigilant about your child's safety should be a priority. Until you have a child that is violently raped, then the laws let that offender free after only a few months in jail while your child has to have repeated surgeries and counseling to try and reach a level of somewhat normal life again (happened in the state of Texas where capital punishment is supposed to be an option)... there is no such thing as being too vigilant IMO.

[deleted account]

Honestly, I don't spend much time thinking about them at all. Yes, the thought is disgusting, but I just teach my kids about privacy and keep an eye on them.... leave them w/ people I KNOW and trust, etc....

[deleted account]

Just wanted to throw out there that not all preists are pedophiles and I hate that association. Yes, it's scary, but I don't spend all day thinking about it because I would go nuts. I agree with Lesa.

[deleted account]

I think its disgusting but being scared isn't helping you. Be vigilant and careful, of course, report suspicious people and just do your best to protect your kids and have fun. Its just a part of life and unfortunately there's not much we can do.

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