If you were raped would you.........

Jazmyne - posted on 10/24/2012

This happened to me and I chose adoption. If it were to happen again (God forbid) I would speak with my husband and make the disicion to either keep or put up for adoption.

April - posted on 04/06/2010

Emma, that is terrible!! and he's all smug and proud..eek!! i do not think that helps things at all...

Emma - posted on 04/06/2010

Hi yes we have 30 days of activism campaign and anyone who is anyone making adds trying to stop it,
I personally don't thinks it helps us that our current president beat a rape charge's before he got voted in. And at his trial set a shocking example regarding the whole issue regarding Rape and the prevention of HIV,
A popular political cartoonist always draws him with a shower over his head as he made a comment at his Rape trial that he was not worried about HIV as he had taken a shower after.
Yet this is the man SA voted in to run the country...... makes you wounder

Sunny - posted on 04/05/2010

thanks Emma- i knew Australia was pretty bad, its just awful that there is even stats! grrr... Is the country doing anything to try to change the stats (i hope that doesnt sound rude, i know over here they made new adds with footy players in them talking about violence against women ect.)

Emma - posted on 04/05/2010

Hi, i wish i was being overly dramatic really i do.
As I love my country but really have a lot of things that go on hear,
Our Crime Rate is out of control
If you want to see just how bad it is in your country compared to mine take a look hear:

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_ra...

The other thing that makes our Rape epidemic even worse is often its Gang Rape and there is a horrific trend in Raping baby's as some bright spark popularise the belief that this would cure Aids.

I believe think the only punishment for Rape is the death penalty but we don't have that any more....

Sunny - posted on 04/05/2010

oh im not sure if thats the corrected stat or not, eg. around half of all victims dont report the assault, sorry i cant remember which stat that is...

Sunny - posted on 04/05/2010

Where i live in Melbourne, Australia, the stats are 1 in 3 women under 25 will be sexually abused (not always raped) which is terrible. In my class in year 12 there were about 10 girls and 6 of them had been abused, some like myself unlucky enough to experience it more than once.

Jane - posted on 04/05/2010

I would not keep a baby that was a product of rape. I would probably take the morning after pill to prevent pregnancy, however, I would have an abortion if I were to become pregnant.

Lady - posted on 04/05/2010

AAHH that explains it - sorry I never read that, thanks for clearing that up Julia, I have heard about that too!!

Julia - posted on 04/05/2010

Gillian,
Emma has said on at least one other post that she lives in South Africa. I knew a guy that I was in the US Army with who was from South Africa too...he told me shit like this all the time.

Lady - posted on 04/05/2010

Emma where on earth did you get that statistic from - I really hope that is not the case about most girls being raped before the age of 18, before comming on this site I only ever knew of one girl who had been raped - my sister - so I think you might be exaggerating a little - at least I really hope so!!

Hannah - posted on 04/05/2010

I would either keep the baby or give the baby up for adoption (after discussing it with my partner). It is not the baby's fault for what happened, so why punish him/her.

Stephanie - posted on 04/05/2010

Neveen, thank you for saying such nice things. I understand what was right for me isn't what is right for everyone and everyone has to deal with such a sensitive issue in their own way and beliefs.

Emma - posted on 04/05/2010

I doubt i would have much of a fight to get it where i live, Our Rape Stats are truly scary, you get medicine given to you to help prevent HIV when they do a rape kit hear as standard they don't ask you they just give it to you as the HIV rate hear is also beyond scary.
Sad but true hear most woman wont make it to there 18th birthday without being raped at least once. I have been very lucky as im 30 and touch wood it ha never happen to me,

Gina - posted on 04/05/2010

I posted before without reading anyones answers, I feel it's different if it's a stranger. I'd like to think that if I didn't know the person I'd keep the baby but I know my husband would have trouble with it.While I know it's not the babys fault I know if I was a result of a rape I would not cope with that at all.I know alot of you are against abortion and I am too, but i feel differently when rape is involed.

Krista - posted on 04/05/2010

Emma, then you'd better hope that if you ever get raped, you don't wind up at a hospital named after a saint.

From Princeton.edu:

That’s because the medical care in these facilities is governed by the Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services, guidelines developed by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops based on Church teachings that prohibit using artificial contraception. As a result, the Directives essentially ban Catholic hospitals from providing emergency contraception to a woman whose birth control failed or who didn’t use contraception during consensual sex.

If you have been raped, however, a Catholic hospital might be able to provide emergency contraceptive pills to help you prevent pregnancy. Directive 36 seems to allow providing emergency contraception to “a female who has been raped to defend herself against a potential conception from the sexual assault . . . if, after appropriate testing there is no indication she is pregnant.” It does not say how to determine if conception has occurred and, since emergency contraception might sometimes prevent implantation of a fertilized egg (which happens after conception), Catholic hospitals still have to interpret the Directives and decide if they can provide emergency contraceptive pills to a woman who has been raped. In one recent survey, roughly one-third of the Catholic hospitals in three states were not complying with state laws that require making emergency contraception available to women who have been raped.

Gina - posted on 04/05/2010

I just want to point out that some women are raped by close family members, It's not a thing people like to discuss but alot of the time It's a father,brother or uncle. Should this woman keep the baby? There is no way someone can convince me that she should,and I'm against abortion but I'm against rape more, and that's not a way I will want to be brought into this world.

Emma - posted on 04/05/2010

Well i would demand the morning after pill when i got my Rape kit done just to be on the safe side.
I personally think it should be standard issue after a Rape.

Katherine - posted on 04/04/2010

I am hard core pro-life. It's not the baby's fault, and I'm not going to get into the meaning of conception. I would keep and maybe give it up. I could not bring myself to terminate.

Belinda - posted on 04/04/2010

Abort.

Sunny - posted on 04/04/2010

I wasnt really meaning it as a point, simply curious. One of my abusers was my foster brother so not a blood relative, the others where strangers. I wouldnt be able to go through with the pregnancy. I have a friend who was abused by a family member and did have the baby and kept the baby, who has down syndrome. He is 16 now and although she loves him very much it is an eternal battle everyday, but she wouldnt change her decision. He and her husband couldnt conceive so he is the only child they have, which breaks his (her husbands) heart. I think its amazing the strength that some women have but i couldnt do it, i cant even be in the same room as my rapists family and his sister was my best friend.

Chatty - posted on 04/04/2010

Abort!

Neveen - posted on 04/04/2010

Stephany, you are a gr8 woman to do so!
I'm afraid that I'm not that strong like you. so i said my opinion cuz i know myself....
if somthing like this happened to me, i can't do like you, i will go for abortion, so i can go on in my life...
pain? it will always be there, but with time, will be less painfull.....
this is my point....
u r gr8 woman!

Neveen - posted on 04/04/2010

Abortion will be, coz having this baby, will remind me of what happened to me for the rest of my life....
Some ppl will say i have no mercy when deny a baby it's life, but it will be the best thing to do... having this baby being born, then get him/her adopted will make it worse, coz even the mom didn't want any connection with this baby, the baby will grow up and try to find the root he/she come from, then will face a reejction from the biological mom one more time...
for the mom whom gives the baby away, she will always ask the quistion, was it right to give the baby away or shall i try to get the baby back....
and if the mom had the baby, she will never every be fair to the baby, hence he/she maybe will look like the rappest, then she will be nasty on the baby but in the same time will love the baby coz he/she is part of her....
it's a very complicated situation and all concerend parties will get hurt soon or later....
so abortion will be painfull for a while, then the pain will go with the time....

April - posted on 04/04/2010

that's a good point sunny. i would keep no matter what, but especially if it was family because the child would more than likely be special needs due to being a close relative.

i would worry about a special needs child not being able to find a good home. i'd worry about him or her being abused too....

C. - posted on 04/04/2010

Not for me. My thing is, it's still not the baby's fault, so why punish it? But that's my opinion.

Sunny - posted on 04/04/2010

Just wondering..... would anyone's decision be different if it were to a close blood relative eg. father, brother, uncle or first cousin?...

C. - posted on 04/04/2010

Something I find interesting is that some of you are using the argument that the reason you are more likely to go and get an abortion is b/c the morning after pill isn't 100% effective. Abortions aren't either. There have been quite a few abortions that were botched, even in clinics, and the mothers had to carry to full term and most ended up having PBAs. Just putting that out there..

Kelly - posted on 04/03/2010

That was a beautiful post, Stephanie. I have a very good friend who became pregnant with her rapist's baby (she was raped by a stranger). It is very rare for women raped by strangers to become pregnant and she never met anyone else who was put in that situation. She decided to carry her baby and put it up for adoption. She knew she would be giving it up, so she was able to screen parents and place it in the home she wanted at birth, so there was less chance of "attachment syndrome" which is so common in adopted children. They went with an open adoption and her daughter knows that she is her bio mom. They have told her that her "real mom & dad" were not able to make a baby, so her bio mom made her for them. She is 8 now, and they have not decided weather to ever tell her how she was conceived. My friend credits that baby with carrying her through that time after the rape. She said she probably would not have let herself live if she hadn't been living for the baby. Who knows, but I think she made the right decision.

Mary - posted on 04/03/2010

Well, I would most definitely seek out that morning after pill. If that failed...I honestly don't know. While I'm very pro-choice for others, I doubt I could abort once I knew for sure I was pregnant.



It's something I would have to discuss at length with the hubby. It's obviously a difficult situation no matter what you decide. My concern in keeping a baby that was a product of rape would be how it impacted my current family. My husband loves kids, and simply adores our daughter. I'm not sure he could have that same love for a child that was not only not his, but occurred within our marriage as a result of a violent act that was perpetrated against me. (that's hugely different from loving a child from a pre-existing relationship) I THINK that would be less of an issue for me, especially because of the bond I know I would feel as that baby grew inside of me, regardless of how he/she came to be. I would be worried that this child would not be loved and treated the same as my daughter, and that is a terrible thing to do to any child. My guess is that I would choose to put that baby up for adoption, in the hopes that baby would never feel a moment of being unloved or uncherished for things that were not his/her fault. I would hope that baby would never, ever have to know how they came to exist, and suffer one moment of self-doubt because of it.

Lise - posted on 04/03/2010

Keep baby or adoption.

Jessie - posted on 04/03/2010

I would keep the baby, just b/c it happened so horribly has nothing to do with him/her. They deserve a chance at life. If I can't keep them myself I would try to find a loving home for it.

Erin - posted on 04/03/2010

Where I live the Plan B pill is available without a perscription. One time after sex the condom slipped off and I didn't want to take any chances with getting pregnant yet. So I called my local pharmacy and asked if they had it, they did, it was $45.00 (Whoa!). But I decided not to get it. It's nice to know that I can get it easily with no problems. Here where I live you the only stipulation is you have to be 17 or older.

Krista - posted on 04/03/2010

Sadly, Erin, there are some religiously conservative doctors and pharmacists who refuse to dispense Plan B, because they think it is an abortion pill. And of course, the sooner after sex it's taken, the more effective it is. That's why I have so little respect for those segments of the pro-life movement who would happily ban Plan B and the regular birth control pill. They claim to want to reduce the number of abortions, but they would gladly take away two of the most powerful tools women have for preventing unwanted pregnancy.



One nice thing about Planned Parenthood is that when I went there once for a pap, she gave me a little envelope with the morning-after pill in it, saying, "You may never need this. But a friend might. Keep it, just in case." Every single woman should do this: go and get the prescription NOW, before you need it. Find out NOW if your local pharmacy will fill it, and if not, who will. If it's a pharmacy that's far away, then get the prescription filled NOW, and keep it in a cool, dry place.



You don't want to be scrambling around trying to find a doctor who will write you a prescription or a pharmacy that will fill it, when the clock is ticking.

Amy - posted on 04/03/2010

I would discuss it with my husband, but most likely we would keep it. I'd have a lot to deal with and I can't say until I was in that situation....hopefully I would be able to emotionally handle it. My husband is just an awesome guy and would be so supportive. It would be harder when the child grows up and he/she asks questions about dad. I'm not sure if we'd tell who the dad was - if we knew. To me it makes a difference if I knew the person or not. What if i had to look at that person because it was family or something. wow. Is it weird to say that if it were a stranger i'd me more likely to keep than if it were a relative? hm....i'd probably try the morning after pill if it were someone i knew. still...i'd hand a whole slew of whatever i could to the police - family or not.

Lady - posted on 04/03/2010

The morning after pill isn't 100% effective.

Lady - posted on 04/03/2010

The reason I would abort is not just because it would be horrible to carry my rapists baby but also becuase of my husband and the children I alread have. For me to fall pregnant again in any cicumstances would be pretty disaterous finacially, emotionally and physically to the whole family but to make them all suffer for the sake of a child born of something terrible that happened to their mother would be beyond cruel. I could not possibly expect them to love and help take care of and sacrifice the things they would have to for that child and ask my husband to financially support it (because presumably the rapist would be in jail so how could I go after him for child support). So although I agree it's not the babies fault that it was concieved neither is it the fault of my husband or children so why should they suffer?

Sunny - posted on 04/03/2010

Erin - that is exactly what i have had to do on more than one occasion, and yes i felt awful, dirty, ashamed and sick to my stomach but there was no way at 14 i could carry the child of my rapist. Even now if i went through that again (fingers crossed i dont) i would do the same thing. Straight to the doctors the pill, the tests, dna ect than off to the police, after all this is a crime. The morning after pill can be taken almost instantly and is to prevent the egg attracting properly, i dont see the need for an abortion or ru486 if women are educated and its offered to them when they seek medical help or report the assault, like it was to me. Though i know not everyone has that option.

Melissa - posted on 04/02/2010

I think it depends on many things, but just remember that the decision is all up to you, don't let anyone make you feel like your being judged, it's your body, mind, and soul.

Erin - posted on 04/02/2010

I'm right there with Sunny, I'd take the morning after pill! There is NO reason you should not be able to do this...you get raped, you go to the doctor and get plan B, sounds tough...I understand shame and embarrassement but I do not understand how someone could NOT go to the dr. & get plan B after a rape...because i'd also want to get checked for STDs...HIV/AIDS...hmm...IDK...makes sense to me!

Rosie - posted on 04/02/2010

i want to say abortion, but like others have said i don't know if i could actually do it. the thought of going 9 months with my rapist baby inside of me frightens me beyond all belief, but it's also MY baby. i really don't know what it'd do unless i was in that situation. hopefully hte morning after pill would work and this wouldn't have to be an option.

Brandi - posted on 04/02/2010

Like with any pregnancy it would depend on my current circumstances and what my husband thought.

Sarah - posted on 04/02/2010

I'm a keeper. Would be hard but yeah I THINK i would keep.

Kelli - posted on 04/02/2010

Thank you Christina, and yes that is what I meant. Of course God wouldn't WANT someone to be raped, but free will, you wknow? But He does have a way of turning things around for some good or benefit. Any even if one doesn't keep the baby, there are so many people out there who want to adopt. I've know plenty who have been adopted and their lives have been just fine. Not to say that all cases are like that, but you never know. And life begins at conception. Murder is murder and abortion IS murder. Just my thoughts. Sorry if I offend. Not my intention.

Jackie - posted on 04/02/2010

Keep or adopt. Being married I doubt my husband would be able to support keeping..though i shouldn't say that for sure we've never discussed it. But if not the only other option would be adoption.

C. - posted on 04/02/2010

Jean, sometimes God turns very bad situations into very good situations. You just have to give Him the chance to do it. I do believe that is the basis of Kelli's post.

I was going to reply to the rest of your comment, but I don't think this is the time or place b/c when I wrote it and proofread, it could definitely have been taken in another tone. So I'm going to (as a couple of others have said recently) bite my tongue on the rest.

Meghan - posted on 04/02/2010

Abort.

Jackie - posted on 04/02/2010

WOW julia! That's terrible. Sorry to hear that you had to dela with that... but it sounds like you made the right decision given the circumstances.



As for me, I hope that I never have to make that decision but if I did... I'd probably abort if I found out early enough. But then again, I don't really know for sure what I would do.

. - posted on 04/02/2010

I find it hard to believe that "God" (I'm not a believer) would want someone to be raped so that a new life would be created.

It's hard to answer that one as I haven't been put in a situation like that, however my Mum's cousin was raped and fell pregnant, that child grew up to know her mother was raped and took her own life.

Ashley - posted on 04/01/2010

Well, if possible I'd report it and take the morning after pill. If for some reason I was unable to take the pill immediately, I'd abort it. Already having a son tells me I am not strong enough to give up a child. However, I would fear I wouldn't love a child from a rape like one from my husband. Just a bad situation all around. I really hope to never experience it.