Is it really so wrong to smoke marijuana and being a mother?

Crystal - posted on 08/19/2012 ( 51 moms have responded )

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I just had my daughter in June, once I had my 6 week check up and all was ok, so I started to smoke again, I was concerned if I would be incapable of caring for my child, but I feel even more calm and collected with her even when she cries I feel more relaxed and in control with the situation. Im a family oriented person but my family is soo old fashioned and no real friends or ppl to talk to other than my husband but a father will never understand a mothers point of view. Society does make it taboo but I would like to know whether or not I'm the only one that feels this way. Please no put downs or negative feed back plz everyone has the right to feel and have their own opinion but I do not like when anyone is belittle because of a different perspective.

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Aria - posted on 11/09/2012

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I wonder if those saying "anything that impairs judgement is wrong" would say that mothers on antidepressants, which work by inhibiting emotions and judgement to calm someone down, are bad moms. Sometimes the benefits outweigh potential risks.



There's a big difference between a couple hits of a joint and getting high. A couple hits is enough to relax without making it difficult for most people to think. If you're smoking entire joints, then you may need to see a doctor about another way to handle your anxiety.

Alecia - posted on 09/20/2012

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well i feel differently than a lot of these moms, and i dont care what they think of my parenting, because my child comes first. always. i would never buy pot over food, diapers and bills. that stuff gets paid and taken care of before i have any pot, but i do use and have since before kids. its not about being high and acting like a teen. i have severe anxiety/stress and its the only thing i feel safe using to help me deal. other legal drugs have awful side effects and can make you out of it. i have done TONS of research on it. if i would have found proof that its harmful (even doctors will tell you its not...no one has died just from smoking a bong), i would not do it. ill even admit that im pregnant for the 2nd time and use it. it is the only thing that gets rid of my nausea and allows me to eat. ive tried 2 different prescription meds and different vitamins...nothing works, and if i cant have a bit in the am, i am sick all day and not able to keep a thing down....real healthy. i take care of my child all day, work late into the nights, come home for some sleep, and do it all over. pot smoking does not equate to being irresponsible. and i know quite a few people like me. i don't do it inside and its usually when my daughter naps and when she goes to bed. i dont care if people condemn my actions, they dont really know me. i know moms who are pregnant who chain smoke in their house with no windows open. i cant even stand to go over there, because even after you shower you stink for a another day or two...oh yeah, that must be so much better than a pot smoking parent who doesnt smoke inside or around their child/ren. especially when we all know the dangers of cigarettes..and if people would get over their misconceptions of marijauna, they would know the true benefits and the extremely low risks. some types of cannabis actually decrease your risk of your lung cancer when inhaled...but i bet some of you refuse to believe that.

Dove - posted on 08/22/2012

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Oh hell.... I just read your comments in that other post. I realize you don't want any negative feedback, but I am literally shaking right now with concern for the well being of your innocent baby.



I think I've just become in favor of women needing a license to breed.

Amanda - posted on 10/06/2012

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I agree with Reane, modern medicine simply takes 1 property out of a plant and places a patent on it so that they can sell it. Pharmaceuticals only need to show a 5% benefit and the side-effects (which really just should be called "effects") are simply considered worth the risk. Well when I took anti-depressants I ended up standing at my sliding glass door staring out into an empty yard for I don't know how long while my (at the time) 4 & 2 yr old ran around without me being capable of caring for them. Not to mention there is the risk of suicide on these "anti-depressants." I would rather trust in a plant (with ALL it's properties intact) than a pharmeceutical that does not necessarily do as much good as the entire plant does.



BTW, meridol (look it up) is a pharmaceutical that is synthetic THC. That's what gets you "high" for those mothers who don't actually know anything about cannabis. And yes, I healed my depression without the use of pharmaceuticals by simply changing my diet to exclude all those artificial ingrediants.

Sally - posted on 09/14/2012

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Thats disgusting and so unfair to the baby. Sorry, harsh as it sounds some people do not deserve children and she should be reported. Im all for you do as you wish with your life but shes messing with a babys health and well-being. Wrong

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Christine - posted on 09/10/2013

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A year ago I would have said yes it's wrong duh!! But after more education and looking at this "outside the box' or really looking at the big picture I think there is more to it than that. I guess it would depend... on the one end it's best to never have any type of smoke around your baby as this not only increases their SIDS risk but it also makes them more likely to get sick as their little lungs arent fully developed, and this does not mean just smoking in another room but keep in mind smoke can be smelled on your clothes, hair and body. That being said, consider how many mothers suffering from PPD or any other pre-existing condition are prescribed medication and left to care for their babies while on these pills created in a lab, then compare that to a mother using a completely natural product like marijuana to keep her calm and reap the same benefits as anxiety medication or anti-depressants, with much lower chance of side effects. Really put aside your prejudices toward marijuana as a drug and really look at the whole picture - why is it ok to take heavily processed drugs and not to smoke a naturally growing herb? For me personally I have no need to use marijuana and I would worry about trying to care for a baby while being high because although its been several years I have used it before and was never able to focus on things very well, however I have known other people who regularly used it and then went to work and their everyday life just fine without it affecting them. However no matter how well you can function I think the bigger question would be the purpose of your using the drug, if it is occasionally to help with stress and keeping calm that is one thing, but if you are getting high all day every day then this means you need to reconsider your priorities which should be your baby - not your bong. One last thing I would add is no matter how great you can function while under the influence of marijuana, you should never co-sleep with a baby while under the influence of any drug- prescription or not- as most bed sharing deaths are the result of a parent who is under the influence.

Taylor - posted on 01/31/2013

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I think that there is nothing at all wrong with smoking, and being a parent only changes where and how often you do it. If you ever need someone on your side to talk to, you can always pm me!

Minna - posted on 11/16/2012

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To Jitka , I was addressing how basically sane people are capable of horrendous thoughts under the duress of early motherhood ,coupled with sleep deprivation.Thus I am not shocked by your friends thoughts. But they were just thoughts.....

.. I have also wanted to kill my husband on occasion [I'm 100% serious,married 20 years]. I'm sure he and my kids [collage age and high school age] want to throw me out the window once a week. Hasn't happened yet.

I think, I [ and my elderly friend]] were just saying that frustration is normal and not necessarily a pathology .Not making light of it- It's just not that abnormal- no matter how nice we want to seem and how much we revere motherhood.

I'm glad you don't deal with this. For myself, and a significant number of my friends ,bad thoughts are better acknowledged {at least to ourselves ] than buried or secretly dwelt on .Humor is our coping, de-fusing method.

Minna

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Jitka - posted on 11/16/2012

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Minna, dear, you missed my point completely. I was merely stating we are not here to judge anyone on the way they cope with stress. And incidentally, I have never felt like "throwing my kid out of the window once in a while".

Minna - posted on 11/16/2012

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Jitka, I've been blessed with an older wiser friend [ mom of 4 ] who told me- every mom wants to throw her kid out the window once in a while, the ones who don't admit it are the ones who worry me. So admit it , laugh about it, and get over it. Minna

Amanda - posted on 11/15/2012

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Kari, I'm sorry, I spelled it wrong. It's brand name is Marinol, generic is dronabinol.

Jitka - posted on 11/15/2012

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I might open a can of worms here, but here it goes... I have never smoked anything, purely because i don't like the smell. I wanted to touch on the comments about "impaired judgement" while smoking marijuana. I was thinking back to a friend of mine, who (which i only found out much later) was so stressed looking after her toddlers, the one afternoon had her not husband come home in time, she said she would have thrown her child into a wall! While all of you might be shocked, it clearly happens with depression, stress levels etc. So who are we to judge a mom that takes something as a coping method?

Minna - posted on 11/14/2012

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Really I don't think it's worse than most prescription meds. Just don't smoke with the babe in the room, don't get stoned or drive impaired of course . I worked in the court system for 8 years and most problems [beyond the obvious one of getting busted for possession ] were caused by alcohol and other drugs-more and more often prescription ones.

I think your main problem is loneliness , Lot's of people abuse stuff because of that or boredom. Yes, being at home with a baby can be lonely, stressful, and boring ,all at the same time., Do you get high with your husband? Does he know or care that you do? Maybe you can hook up with an old friend or two on facebook, or walk the kid around the block and start a conversation with another mom. I know that it's easier said than done, but it would be worth it.Over time you'll be able to tell who parties and how they do it.

It would just be much better to get high or have a few drinks and watch a movie or something with a friend ,than to sit alone with your daughter and do it.

If you get out and let loose once in a while you may be calmer all the way around and not want/need it everyday. That's my very long 2 cents worth, minna

Kari - posted on 11/13/2012

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I couldn't find anything on meridol...is it used for oral care?

Anyway, Reane I agree with some of what you said. Not all medications are going to do to others what they did to you. Some people can't get better simply by changing their diet...it may be a chemical imbalance, etc. I think marijuana should be legal. It's far less horrible for people than alcohol.

Lakota - posted on 10/24/2012

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I think anything that shows your kid that it's ok to break the law is wrong.

Cecillia - posted on 10/22/2012

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Personally I would never smoke marijuana around my son (I don't do it anyways), especially if he's still breastfeeding. I do agree that there are medical instances where smoking it is beneficial, but I think if you're just doing it to relax there could be other alternatives that you could try before resorting to smoking marijuana.

REANE - posted on 10/06/2012

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Let me add, plants & herbs that have been working for THOUSANDS of years over western medication that fails over & over again!

REANE - posted on 10/06/2012

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Explains that I believe in all natural plants & herbs over western medication? Yes, yes it does.

Sherri - posted on 10/05/2012

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@Reane well that explains a lot from this post and your one on vaccines.

REANE - posted on 10/05/2012

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There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with smoking marijuana! I am an avid marijuana supporter and a stay at home mom. My daughter (3 months old) is very well taken care of, we spend the entire day learning, exploring, and playing and yes I smoke marijuana in between. My ability to care for her is not at all affected by this. Doctors prescribe anti-depressants such as xanax to breastfeeding (really?!) moms all the time. Anybody who has ever taken xanax knows it causes extreme memory loss, clumsiness and hinders motor skills. But yet women and doctors feel that's safer over a natural herb? Shake my head. Honey, as long as your baby is happy healthy and learning every day and you are able to fully interact with her as much as she needs/wants you too than you arent doing anything wrong!

Hope - posted on 10/05/2012

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Personally, I have nothing against anyone who smokes pot. I think it's better than a glass of wine to be honest. Alcohol is bad stuff all together.....it's quite literally poison to your body. With that said, I have nothing against parents who smoke pot either. What I'm against is smoking in front of your children. THAT to me is very wrong. I see nothing wrong with putting your kid to bed at night and then taking a toke or two...it's the same as having a glass of wine or a beer. Some parents who drink (in front of their kids) say that smoking pot is wrong.....I however think that drinking around your kid is the same thing as smoking around your kid. You are using a drug. You can't pick or choose.....it's quite simple. Both inhibit your natural ability to make good decisions, both mess with your brain. There is no distinction and to say that drinking isn't as bad as smoking..... you're only kidding yourself.

Amanda - posted on 10/03/2012

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No, it's not wrong and anyone who says differently simply doesn't understand or live the lifestyle. That's all I have to say because I know when it comes to marijuana there is a very clear double-standard in regards to legal drugs (such as alcohol, anti-depressants, etc.) that have more serious medical and social consequences.

Alecia - posted on 09/29/2012

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my kids always come first. whether anyone on here thinks so or not. you judge but you dont know me at all or how i parent. nothing is more important than my family. its so 'funny' how all the moms who do agree hide and dont discuss their opinions. must be because everyone else says your a "bad" mom when they actually have no idea.

Sally - posted on 09/25/2012

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Right, Im not collage educated etc but have brought up 3 kids and I so totally dis-agree with mums useing stuff. It harms your baby, makes you slow. Why get so angry at people for telling you what the medical,cps etc tell you. For godsakes can't you put your kids first before your high!

Dove - posted on 09/25/2012

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I have experience with second hand pot and cigarette smoke making me physically ill. Just because one may be worse than the other does not automatically make the less worse one right. And telling someone they don't have a right to comment on their opinion... good luck with that one.



I may have zero experience with smoking while pregnant (because I have never and would never smoke anything) or drinking alcohol while pregnant (don't drink at any time), but I sure have the right to think it is not a good idea. You don't have to agree with my opinion, but I do have the right to HAVE that opinion.... and express that opinion.

Alecia - posted on 09/25/2012

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you imagine...but you dont actually know. do you know what malnutrition and dehydration can do to "you" and your pregnancy? that is way worse than smoking. i have done the research and already have one healthy, smart little girl. being drunk and having a hit are nothing alike. i dont like to drink, and i never smoke enough to be out of it like im drunk. that takes a lot and is just dumb. i dont use it to get fucked up, at all. and who said i smoke and then drive? i said its usually when my daughter is sleeping...so im not laying her down and then going out for a drive. i am a responsible parent who uses marijuana for its medicinal benefits. if i go to the hospital for dehydration, i have very few people who could watch my daughter, and i dont have the money for daycare, or sitters. (not because of why you think...we are building a house). if you can have a glass of wine a day, you can certainly have a bong. and if someone has absolutely no experience with marijuana, then they have no right to comment.

Dove - posted on 09/23/2012

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Alecia... inhaling second hand pot smoke makes me dizzy and start coughing like crazy... same as second hand cigarette smoke. I can only imagine what EITHER of them do to a poor, innocent, developing fetus.

Lise - posted on 09/23/2012

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You are putting yourself at risk to lose your child. If your child ever needed you and you were high, you could be putting yourself and your daughter at risk if you drove her anywhere. I drink, but would never put myself in the position of being drunk and in charge of my daughter.

Lee Ann - posted on 09/20/2012

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Above all else that precious little soul depends on you for everything, I don't feel that you would be intentionally putting their safety in danger in any way however if you are breast feeding & smoking I cant say i agree with that, b/c what mommy gets baby gets. I understand there are a million people in the world who need something to function with daily routine of life and I'll admit I'm one of them, I need a pill to get up in the morning & one to go to sleep at night, but i would suffer any time day or night for the good of my child if it was something that was affecting them in a negative way. so i guess you just have to step back & really look at the situation dear, best of luck with everything

Sally - posted on 09/15/2012

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@ Julie, from what I understand, yes she is BF. This is whats upset people the most. Do as you wish with your own body but don't feed it to your baby

Julie - posted on 09/15/2012

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Are you breastfeeding? That would be my main concern. If so, then please stop smoking weed until she has been weened. Otherwise, a drug is a drug is a drug. Legal, illegal. Alcohol or cigarettes, food or gambling. So, proceed with caution, everything in moderation.

Last, your husband is the father of that baby, so he has the right to know, and needs to approve of your being under the influence while caring for his child. No secrets between mom and dad please...god forbid anything ever happened, he should be in the know.

Sally - posted on 09/14/2012

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With Dove, its not right unless its for medical reasons. I have to take morphine twice a day(slow release) I know pot would help me more but it illegal and though my youngest is 15 Im not getting arrested for it. I also don't want him or my grandchildren around drugs. Its just wrong when you have such a young baby. I really hope that your not breast feeding the poor mite.

Courtnee - posted on 09/05/2012

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Oh, ok! Lol. Yeah, sometimes that is the only thing that helps. Personally, before we knew about my ovarian problems, I had horrendous stomach problems. I couldn't eat, I was constantly sick, never getting out of bed. And smoking made it to where I could eat, and have no pain. :))

S. - posted on 09/05/2012

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Courtnee I didn't think you was :) my auntie has MS and is extremely ill, sometimes smoking is the only thing that dulls the pain.

Courtnee - posted on 09/05/2012

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Stacey, I wasn't directing that towards you. I wasn't aware the person smoked for selfish reasons, or I wouldn't of said anything. I know people who stay high off their butts just to be high, and it makes me sick. Especially when there are kids around it. Like I said, my son is NEVER around any part of it, and he never will be, as long as he's around me. I completely agree with you, 100%. I just wish unless people know the whole story, people wouldn't be so quick to judge. :))

S. - posted on 09/05/2012

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Courtnee your situation seems a little different from the OP, I feel people would respond different if the post said I smoke mariuana because it soothe's the pain I am in. I am against pot but not were it is for medical reasons. So my comment is not aimed at ppl like you.



I am a daughter, a sister and a ex long tearm partner of pot smokers and I can't see what good comes from it amongest the other stuff it take's all your money, makes you a arse to your loved ones when you don't have it and it stinks and regardless to what ppl say it is addictive. Fair enough if you have to smoke it for relaxation or fun do it when you have a free weekend.

Courtnee - posted on 09/05/2012

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I hate how people automatically assmes marijuana impares your judgement. It relaxes and soothes you. Personally, I smoke for 2 reasons. I have ovarian cysts that kill, so I do it to "soothe" pain, and b/c it helps relax me. I get irritated and frustrated very, very easily. And I feel bad when I get upset and yell at my son, or get angry at him. So, I do it to ensure I'm not "mean" to him. He is never around it. Ever. Not the marijuana itself, not the smoke, not the paraphanelia, none of it. He is perfectly fine. I still do everything with him I do when I don't smoke. He still eats, plays, sleeps, and does everything a normal 2 year old does, and I watch him and keep an eye on him either way. Do not judge others when it's something they NEED. Personally, without it, I can't get out of bed half the time b/c the pain from my cysts are so bad. He is mine, so I don't enjoy asking people to watch him, even if I'm sick. Now, if you're doing it just to get high, and act like a typical teenager again, then shame on you. That's a different story.

Kirsty - posted on 08/25/2012

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i think it is wrong but at the same time i cannot speak, i am a none smoker but my bf is!! and even though i asked him not to he still smoked it around me even indoors!! i actually resented him for it!! my pregnancy i was small, he was only 1 week early but weighed 5pound8oz...had the worst labour ever!! - the cord was wrapped around his neck and i had to have emergency c section...he has growth problems and had to be put on double calorie high energy milk and has severe gastro reflux disease! all of this - i now blame myself for everything. but since my son has been born my bf has now cut down and smokes outside!! and doesnt bring my son around it, even though it was wrong of me to let him whilst i was pregnant....it is even more wrong after baby is born, why should your baby inhale it? if you want to smoke it, do so...but do it outside like my bf, consider your child its not about you anymore!x

Dove - posted on 08/22/2012

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Well... I'm 100% against alcohol, cigarettes, pot, other illegal drugs, and overusing legal drugs, so.... What do YOU think I WANT to say here? ;)



If you live somewhere that pot is illegal (where IS it legal? I don't know...) then I think it is completely foolish to be smoking it. Is it worth the risk to be in jail and/or lose your kid? If you are smoking it while you are alone with your kid.... that is even more foolish. What would you do in case of an emergency? Who is watching your kid? Or are you getting the baby high too?



Assuming I weren't 100% against smoking anything and not against pot in particular... I would say maybe once a month or so as long as your child is in the care of someone else. You make it sound like this is a frequent thing though and in that case... I can't by any stretch of the imagination even begin to say it is ok.

Jane - posted on 08/22/2012

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Whilst I can understand why you feel calmer smoking weed (although the one time I ever smoked it I just felt hungry!) studies have shown that long term it makes you more paranoid and can have extremely detrimental effects on your personality.



I also worry that your child would grow up thinking that drugs are normal and then it might lead to them trying stronger drugs when they are older.



I am not trying to belittle you or negate your opinion on this, but would urge that you look into the studies done on the effect of drugs in the home and children.

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I think doing ANYTHING that alters the mind around a child is dangerous. It honestly seems like a pretty stupid thing to do. You're relaxed because you are slightly sedated. That isn't good. Not to mention the damage to your lungs.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/20/2012

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This is kinda a double standard for me, because while I think you should not be smoking pot with such a young baby (hopefully you are just taking a toke or two, not blazing) but I don't think it is wrong to smoke pot, or parents to do it. Just come on.....not with a newborn.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/20/2012

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I am all for legalizing pot, but with that comes the responsibility of understanding when it is ok and not ok to get high. I feel that such a young baby needs your undevided attention while being fully operational. You never know when you will need to act swiftly, and pot inhibits that. If you are having anxiety or PPD speak to your doctor and don't self medicate with things that will make your response time slow. Sorry, I do feel you are smoking pot at a very early stage in your babies life. Personally if it was me, I would wait until baby was sleeping through the night at least over the age of 2 or more, and do it at bed time. Or take a night out with your friends when you can have someone else watch the baby. If you are breastfeeding, that is an absolute NO NO!

Cherish - posted on 08/19/2012

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I agree that anything that impairs your ability it not ok...BUT (and I am assuming you are not breast feeding) I think that if you feel like you "need" it,to calm down(or whatever),then you could have depression and/or anxiety.
Colorado is a MMJ state,so say you have a MMJ card,and then you smoke...Personally I think that MMJ is safer then most antidepressants or prescription anxiety drugs.
People would not judge you if you were taking something like xanax,which is annoying b/c my friend that took xanax was WAY WAY more out of it than anyone that I was around that was "high"
I do agree tho that you should not smoke it in the house or at least not around your baby.

Denikka - posted on 08/19/2012

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I think that it's wrong to take anything that impairs judgement while watching a child alone. To me, that mean even a single drink, smoking marijuana, taking any other illegal drugs or any prescription medications that are not necessary to your day to day functioning.
When there is another sober person in the house, okay. Have a beer or two, or whatever.

Smoking any substance around a child though, I think it's just wrong. With a pill, or shooting up, or drinking, or snorting, or anything else, whatever it is you're taking is ONLY entering and affecting your system (as long as you're NOT breastfeeding). Where as with smoking, any substance (tobacco included with illegal drugs), that substance gets into your skin, your hair, your clothes. Whatever it was, it's not just entering your system, but your child's system.
I don't particularly care about the research that says it affects brain growth or anything like that. My mind set is that smoking a substance and then holding your baby, or smoking in the same house, and especially the same room, is not much better than blowing that smoke directly into their face.
Let's face it, we don't know all the effects that pot or tobacco have on the mature brain, let alone a developing brain. Or on the lungs. We know a lot of bad things about it though. To me, it's just not worth it. I would never smoke any substance around my kids, and I throw a shit fit when I know someone else has just smoked and wants to hold my child. If I REALLY wanted to, that's what babysitters are for. Take a night off and go do what I want.

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