It's a BOY!! (And he's 5 years old)

Terina - posted on 05/23/2012

personally i think yes he will grow up confused it he isnt already, im sure my kids know what gender they were from early on my son always went for boy things although he had choice of girls or boys toys and my daughte though a little bit tomboyish , cannot mistake her for a boy looks wise as she looks so gorly in the face .she likes to play with cars but 1st choice is always doll and bag and buggy. its almost like its built into them they know. my son was about 2 and half when i was pregnant with my daughter and i wnated to buy him blue toy buggy and doll , i was laughed at by a so called freind for wanting to do so and was told id give him issues yet his son had a buggy ! my answer to that was as long as they know their gender and theres no confusion at this age about who they are then i think its fine . i mean you see boys in pink t shirts and no one questions his sexual orrientation or gender its a choice and just a colour at the end of the day. but i would never dress my son in girls clothes . each to their own but still odd in my opinion. i once said to a woman where i worked at check out, something about her daughter assuming it was a girl seeing as she had long hair, unisex type clothing on and generally looked quite feminine in the face and the woman snapped at me saying she was a boy ! my 1st reaction ( to myself of course ) was if he looks feminine in the face why keep long hair and dress in way you cat tell if its a he or she i can see why if theres no mistaking its a boy or is that just me ??

Kelina - posted on 04/17/2012

I think that they just didn't want some adult to make him feel bad if he wanted to wear a fairy costume or something like that. Somehow I don't think this is something he'll keep secret from a girlfriend 15 years down the road and really why should it matter to an employer? At the moment this is something he's proud of. My question would be what exactly do you think appropriate behaviour for a boy is? and my guess would be that the reason all the pictures they have of him are in girl clothes on the internet because he is a boy and the media thinks that that's strange. Why would they show the pictures of him in boy clothes if they want to portray this as something wrong?

Tabitha - posted on 04/13/2012

Maybe they won't be reading it at 5 years old. But 15-20 years down the road when his girlfriend's parents decide to google him to see what kind of kid he is or when a potential employer looks him up, how do you think this info will affect those situations. Also, in all of the articles, I've read about them, they're promoting him in girl's clothing, with jewelry or girl's costumes. I haven't seen any pics of him just wearin jeans and a tshirt which would be appropriate for boys or girls. I think I've seen one pic of him with just a jacket and pants but that's it. It's fine that they let him dress how he wants regardless of what it is, but it sure seems like they prefer when he wears girl's clothes or plays with girls toys and they want the world to know it. Also, why is it so bad for a child to learn appropriate behavior for a boy? That's what he is. And why is it so bad for a girl to wear girly clothes and a boy to wear boy clothes? I guess I don't understand why they made this decision!!

Kelina - posted on 04/13/2012

At five years old, boys and girls look very similar with the exception of their genitalia. And you're right, there are differences, like boobs, and periods and other emotional things that come when they're older. But how many five year olds do you know who know these things? At five years old, all kids really need to know is how to play, how to have fun, how to make friends, and how to trust their parents. How many five year olds do you think will see these news articles and think, geez that kids weird! My guess is, plenty of parents will think his parents are crazy, but won't hold it against him.

Tabitha - posted on 04/13/2012

I want to add this: While it shouldn't matter whether boys play with boy toys or girl toys or the other way around, in the video(link posted below), he is asked if there are differences between boys and girls and he says no. Yes there are differences, physical differences, mental and emotional differences! That these parents are not teaching him those differences seems criminal to me! Their bodies are made different. Male and female hormones are different so they will act different. They obviously didn't think of the hardship this child will now endure because of their decision.

Tabitha - posted on 04/13/2012

Kelina Groundwater, I read about this in other articles. They don't refer to him as a boy. They don't use the terms boy/girl or male/female. They raised him to be "gender neutral". Which I suppose is fine, he should be allowed to dress how he wants and play with what he wants. But their motive of "saving" him from stereotyping really went out the window when they announced it and are making a big deal about it. He'll now be stereotyped as being different or weird. Not that I agree with stereotyping, it just how it is. I believe that bringing it to the press or announcing like it's a big deal has now made this child's life more difficult, for now and for later in life.

Samantha - posted on 02/12/2012

I just wish there wasn't so much gender stereotyping. I'm expecting my first and shopping can get so frustrating when things only come in pink or blue, or "boy" and "girl" sets. I want black, white, and all the colors in the rainbow!

Do people really think a baby is going to care if their t-shirt is pink or blue? This stuff is for the benefit of the parents.

And why would it EVER be OK to ridicule a little boy who wants to wear a tutu or a flower in his hair? Kids at that age idolize their parents, be it their Mommy or their Daddy. Who are we to tell them that it's wrong?

Stifler's - posted on 02/12/2012

The whole thing is ridiculous. They wanted a daughter if you ask me.

Kelina - posted on 02/09/2012

please read all the posts ingrid and tehn tell me how it's wrong.

Sigrid - posted on 02/09/2012

What?! That is just so crazy! If parents really want to ruin their child's life, then this is it. That is so wrong.

Kelina - posted on 02/08/2012

Sarah they didn't. Sacha knew he was a boy, they just didn't tell their friends and the rest of the world so as to avoid the criticism when they allowed him to dress as a fairy or other things like that. Can you honestly imagine allowing a two year old boy to wear a fairy costume and no one saying anything? I know if my dad ever saw the picstures of my son wearing a skirt and pink shirt he'd say something stupid like "you're turning him into a girl!" which might give an impressionable child the idea that it's wrong to be creative. Personally I think it's wrong that we label our boys and girls with colors such as blue and pink. Because it limits what they're "allowed" to like, and if they don't conform to social norms are often looked down upon by their friends, and usually family as well. All they were trying to do was give this little boy time to become comfortable with himself.

Sarah - posted on 02/08/2012

Whether we like it or not, our gender forms a big part of our identity. I personally feel they could have still allowed the child access to all sorts of clothing and toys, but to deny the basic identity of their child seems a dangerous gamble to make.

Proud - posted on 02/08/2012

All I want to say is DUH!! Anybody could look at pics of the kid and see it's a boy

Kelina - posted on 01/27/2012

I'm curious as to how you think they're forcing him to be something he's not when he's always been told he's a boy he's just been allowed to make his own choices. Whether that's a pink fairy dress and playing with dolls or wearing boy clothes and playing with trucks. The only thing they haven't done is reinforced the opinions that trucks are boy toys and dolls are girl toys, and pink is a girl color while blue is a boy color. If Sasha is truly going to be messed up then so is my son lol. We have pictures of him in his sisters skirts and he loves playing with "girl" stuff.

Rachael - posted on 01/27/2012

I definitely think he will have issues as he gets older. A boy should be a boy and a girl should be a girl unless the child naturally gravitates towards being more like the opposite gender. You shouldn't try and force your child to be gender neutral or anything like that. I believe that it sends a message to the child that they are not OK as they are. A boy shouldn't be punished if he wants to play with dolls or a girl if she wants to play with trucks but you shouldn't force a child to be something they aren't

Sharon - posted on 01/26/2012

What truth? I know people who's little ones are dressed ambiguously and play with toys that are both for boys and for girls. They didn't hide the gender from the boy himself....just from the public. His close family knew he was a boy. If they were hiding his gender from him and the rest of the family then I'd be concerned about the boy, but I don't believe it's that big of a deal. Strange? yes. But life damaging? I don't think so...

Christy - posted on 01/26/2012

Why don't the parents dress ambiguously and refuse to "announce" their gender to anyone they meet? Society's "norms" don't encourage this, they discourage it and he is in for a world for being picked on as he gets older if the truth about his upbringing comes out, period.

Sharon - posted on 01/26/2012

I don't believe he'll be screwed up, He knows he is a boy. I think there are much worse things being done to children that deserve more rage than what these parents have done. Lots of little boys have dressed in girl's clothes, played with dolls, and have gender-neutral names so I don't see the reason why this particular boy is bound to have problems. His family only kept his gender a secret from the outside world, not from the boy in question.

Kelina - posted on 01/25/2012

again, where in this article do the parents say that they never told their child his gender? it only says they chose to keep it a secret from the rest of the world. Anotehr article said the same thing. I see no problem with not telling the rest of the world and seeing as the child has a mom and dad and brother and sister, I find it hard to believe they could have concealed his gender from him. Will seeing himself in pictures of a fress scar him? i think not. my son likes dresses and purses and pink. The "ultramasculine" clothing they said they didn't let him wear was described as shirts having skulls on them, etc. However they also banned barbie. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...

"Mr Cooper, a computer software designer, said that Sasha is aware he is a boy and has been allowed to grow up taking an interest in whatever he wants." My friends brother has pictures of himself in his sisters dresses and shoes and is still a perfectly normal man. My MIL's favorite story is of how my hubby used to carry around his favorite baby doll. My mom had a picture of my brother in a pink velvet jumpsuit that when I found it i thought i was me. They're not forcing him to do it. they just didn't want other people to judge him when he chose to wear girly things which I can totally understand considering the trouble I had to go through to get my husband to be ok with our sons choices of having a doll and carrying a purse. I don't think allowing a child to be their own person is going to screw them up considerably.

Caitlin - posted on 01/25/2012

By not announcing it they turned this whole debacle into a spectacle, so not only will he be a tad confused when he gets out into the world why girls and boys act like they do, he will always be "that kid" and when his high school mates find out about it, he's definately going to hear about it.l You can acknowledge sex without pointing the kid either way. My 2 girls chose their toys, and that cute little play kitchen I got them (gender neutral colour of course - i hate that everything girly has to be pink) frequently gets used mroe as a "time out" zone for her animals than to "make food". oh how the world is messed up these days...

Jenna - posted on 01/25/2012

Yes, I do think he will have issues. Especially in light of the fact that they made it clear that choosing girl clothes and toys was okay but anything "too masculine" was out. It's okay for him to choose to act like a girl, but for a boy to choose to act like a boy it's not okay? This is where right becomes wrong and wrong becomes right.



I don't have a problem with modern theories of gender stereotyping and gender bias, though some of them are outlandish and ridiculous, but this could be approached in much less extreme manner. How about teaching him that, yes, indeed, he is a boy--he has the parts to prove it, after all--but that it's okay to like pink, have long hair, play with dolls, etc.? But that it's also okay if he wants to wear boy clothes and play with trucks. Seems like these parents aren't avoiding gender stereotypes in the slightest; they have instead instilled in him a possible fear of actually wanting to be the boy that he is.



ETA: I never said they shielded his gender from him. But they seem to have made it clear to him that it's okay to choose things that are more girl-oriented but it's not okay to choose things that are more boy-oriented. So if he chooses to play with a truck instead of a doll, they might think that he's been gender stereotyped somehow. Even though he IS a boy, after all, and Toys-R-Us did a study in the 80s and found, by golly, that boys prefer boy toys and girls prefer girl toys. It's amazing how those little chromosomes in our biology kind of do that...make our brains either male or female. Funny, huh?