J. Crew ad of mom painting boy's toenails

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Amber - posted on 04/17/2011

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I'm always amazed that so many people don't understand the differences between sex and gender....
Sex= biological aspects (chromosomes, sex organs, hormones and other physical features)
Gender= social aspects (social role, position, behaviour or identity).

I also find it sad that the people who don't understand these differences are those who stress boys acting as "boys" and girls acting as "girls".

"how many of the fathers of these boys that have been written about are comfortable with how the mothers are raising their sons? several have stated that its become a an issue in their parenting and marriages, shouldnt that be a red flag that maybe what your doing might be wrong?"

How long were men "uncomfortable" with women in the workplace? How long were men "uncomfortable" with girls going to school to get an education? How long were men "uncomfortable" with women having the right to vote? I could go on and on and on for hours about all the things that men have not been comfortable with over the centuries and have been WRONG about.

If women hadn't stood up and told them they were wrong and to hell with their comfort, you wouldn't be sitting at a computer having this debate right now...because you wouldn't be able to read!

Why were they "uncomfortable" with all of these things? Because they didn't want to accept women as their equals. It created more competition for them and decimated the power that they could hold over them.
Even now, men try to differentiate themselves from women so that they can be seen as the dominant and in control sex. To increase their feminity would be to put themselves on more equal footing with women, deceasing their perceived power....of course they aren't comfortable. Who ever wants to give up power?

Charlie - posted on 04/14/2011

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Colour has no gender , it wont "confuse" them the only thing that confuses young minds is parents with warped ideas of kids turning gay which quiet frankly shows a huge amount of ignorance and lack of knowledge in biology and psychology of humans .

People who fear such tedious things really need to look to themselves and why they are so against such a thing , why they cannot see past the neolithic period and not to their childrens will to explore and express theselves .

Children unlike some adults are not tainted by irrational and illogical ideas of gender specific colouring , adults need to STOP projecting their weird issues on children .

As a matter of fact pink was originally a colour associated with BOYS as it was a diluted shade of red , red being the British army colour .

BLUE was a feminine colour as it was mother Mary's colour .

Luckily in the modern day in age MOST people have dragged themselves out of their caves , realised the world is indeed round and can now accept that a boy will grow to be himself , no amount of putting pink on him will turn him gay or confuse him otherwise generations of little girls would be gay when people started using pink on them , hoards of mothers who wore pants even for a day and have short hair would be closet lesbians and I hate to break it to the offended parents no amount of trucks , guns , and pirate costumes will stop your son being gay if that is how he was born , it may surpress his natural inclinations to be himself , it may force him to hide his sexuality and spin him into major depression but hey as long as they dont offend you feel free to shove them into that pigeon hole .

A child needs to respected as an individual with the need to explore and express not forced into some mould or preconceived notion of what they should or should not be according to you .

Krista - posted on 04/17/2011

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"Gender is relative concept"?
really? do you understand that you were created as a boy or a girl. there is nothing relative in the fact that i do in fact have a vagina and not a penis. there is nothing relative in my uterus, breast, hormones. all of those thing are concrete and make me what i am.


You're conflating gender with sex.

Your sex is what you have between your legs.

Your gender is what you feel you're SUPPOSED to have between your legs.

Your orientation is WHO you want between your legs.

Besides, as Jennifer rightly pointed out, what is considered "manly" and what is considered "womanly" has varied greatly from century to century and from culture to culture. Hose, high-heeled shoes, wigs, face powder...all of these things have been worn by some very "manly" men throughout history.

i will not paint his nails, even if he begs,

I find that to be incredibly sad. So if your innocent little boy just wanted a fun, bright colour on his nails (because kids love bright colours), you would deny him this, even if he begged, because heaven forbid that he do something, no matter how innocent, that flies in the face of what YOU consider to be "boyish".

Amber - posted on 04/17/2011

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"We must have done something right b/c my son is 12 and has NEVER asked to have his nails painted, never wanted to wear a princess dress, heels, or make-up. I am proud to have a boy and 2 girls and they know the difference. "

I would hate to think that you are insinuating that if our boys want to do those things that we must have done something wrong? Or that our girls and boys don't know the difference in their sexes because of this?

My son is well aware that he is a boy. Deciding to put on my heels and run around the house doesn't all of the sudden make him a girl. Just like putting on daddy's Army boots doesn't make him a soldier either. It makes him a child trying to emulate his parents.

My child is free to be whoever he is going to be with his only boundaries being that he is a good, kind, loving, respectful person. Those are the things that are truly important in life, not whether or not you played dress up with your sisters or tried on mom's shoes. We focus on who he is as a person, not whether he looks masculine enough on the outside.

Mary Renee - posted on 04/19/2011

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Amber Northern, just read your post... couldn't have said it better myself, AMEN TO THAT!

By the way, my sister is an occupational therapist for special needs children and has found that manicures and pedicures often have a beneficial effect on children with sensory integrations disorders and all levels of the autism spectrum. They often have extreme sensitivity to being touched, particularly in their hands, and a manicure and pedicure can help them get used to a comfortable gentle touch. I also have a young male cousin with downs sydrome who goes to get clear nail polish manicures with his mom and loves it! He feels great about himself afterward. And he placed in the top three in track in the Youth Special Olympics so I guess it doesn't hurt his "masculinity."

In addition, I used to work with children with autism and we were often taught to encourage activities like finger painting to help with their sensory integration.

I'm sorry but getting your fingernails painted is neither male nor female.

Colors are not male or female either.

Man, it's going to be so funny when people reach those "pearly gates" and find out that god/vishnu/allah/yaweh/brahman/whatever does not give a shit about boys getting their finger nails painted or girls wanted to be a prince.

Why wouldn't you want to be a prince? The King has all the power. Why do you think Elizabeth I never got married!?

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Aniesha - posted on 12/18/2011

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My 3 year old gets his nails painted all the time. We ended up having to hide the nail polish, coz he actually got it open by himself and did his own, lol. He's very impressed with how beautiful he looks:). I'm really over people getting up in arms about this issue. Seriously people, there are more important things to worry about our kids being exposed to than nail polish!!!

Johnny - posted on 04/20/2011

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The problem is not with the parents who allow their children to express themselves in their appearance. The problem is with the parents who teach their children that it is okay to ridicule other people for how they look, act, or behave (in situations not causing harm). Those who are teaching their kids that "pink is for girls and wearing it makes you look gay" are the one's who are causing the problem. Not the other way around.

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The difference between expression by hitting, screaming, slapping, being disrespectful, gossip, skipping school, bullying, and refusing to do chores is that those forms of expression negatively impact other people. Painting one's nails has no impact on anyone other than the person with the painted nails.



As for ridicule by peers, that would not be half the problem it is if we taught our children to be respectful of differences, but by teaching your son that it is not okay to have painted nails, you are teaching him to disrespect or at least disapprove of boys who do paint their nails.

Furthermore, it is not your place to decide what is okay to be ridiculed over. If he wants to wear pink polish despite the ridicule, he should be free to do so, if the ridicule bothers him, it should be HIS choice to discontinue the behavior, not mine to force him to.



The mother didn't force him to paint his nails, he ASKED her to do it. Now if she were forcing him to paint them in order to make a statement about gender roles, I would be opposed, but the fact is, the boy likes pink nails and having them doesn't affect anyone other than him.





btw, I let my son wear a princess dress to the grocery store once when he was 3 years old. He may need therapy later....lmao

Julianne - posted on 04/20/2011

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so to all of you moms who are so concerned about your childs right to express him/herself, where do you draw the line? Hitting is a form of self expression, so is screaming, slapping, being disrespectful, gossip. Skipping school, bulling, refusing to do chores, all forms of self expression. Now before you all get your panties in a bunch i understand these are very different than wanting to paint your fingernails, but they all represent wanting to express yourself in a way that will get you ridiculed, punished, or can cause harm. My biggest concern in encouraging my son to paint his nail, dress in drag for halloween, or wear makeup is that doing these things will get him harrassed, ridiculed and could get him hurt. i understand the need for understanding others, but on the other side of that coin is not setting your kids up for hurt. you may not like it or agree but there are huge amounts of pressure in society and with their peers. One article i read said it really well. it was in the Parenting magazine april issue.
"I agree that we should fight gender stereotyping but I'm not sure i want to enlist my children in the culture wars. I supported Toby's love of pink until, by the age three, it was all pink all the time. I'm concerned that soon he'll reach and age where his eccentricity will leave him vulnerable to other kids cruelty. This has nothing to do with whether Toby is gay, and I'm against homophobia of any kind. But its a parent's job to moderate their childs excesses to protect them. I'd rather mix up Tobys wardrobe against his will now than wipe too many tears later."

Melissa - posted on 04/19/2011

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Funny enough, I painted my son's toe nails yesterday - he's 4! I had mine painted over the weekend while on a trip with my husband. I kicked off my shoes while running around (playing baseball) in the back yard and my son stopped in his tracks. He asked me many questions about it, one of them being can I have my toe nails painted too. I took it as an opportunity to get him to hold still while I trimmed them, telling him it is all part of the "spa" experience. LOL. He was a little bit sad that I didn't have the same shade of polish at home to use on him, but I let him pick...he chose a dark red which is his favorite color. He was really excited to show his dad and couldn't wait to tell his preschool teachers this morning.
My husband isn't bothered by it, although we have had lengthy debates over nature vs nurture and he "errs" on the side of nurture for gender assigning. LOL. He isn't too concerned since my son is young and "all boy" in other aspects. I see this as role-playing or a modeling type behavior, typical of all children his age, and am in no way concerned that this will harm him psychologically. I was a little concerned over the potentially harmful chemicals in the polish and hope I haven't hurt him in that way...he was so excited and happy!

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I'm kinda blown away that any mother would be so adamant against such a silly little thing as nail polish. I mean, when my son goes with us to one of our friend's house, she has TONS of toys because she has kids and runs a daycare in her home. She has a whole area of the playroom just for dress-up. To me, one of the cutest things I've ever seen was my son (he was 2 at the time) come out of the playroom in flowery flip flops, a tool belt around his waist, a neon pink feather boa around his shoulders and a cowboy hat. In fact, I was bummed that I didn't have the camera to capture the moment. When they're this little, it's all about imagination and I don't understand why any parent would discourage that. I've painted my son's fingers and toes before. I wear deep reds and dark blues so he's had both of those before. And.....GASP....his Daddy really doesn't care.

And to be honest, there will probably come a day when my son will no longer want to have his nails painted like Mommy and I'm fine with that. But I'd be just as fine with it if he one day decided he wanted his OWN nail polish (when he's older). His body, his choice, and I'm not gonna FORCE him to be anything other than whoever he wants to be. One of the "manliest" men I ever dated was this guy in high school. This was way back in the 80's...his hair was a pink and blue mohawk, he wore eyeliner and painted his nails just about every color in the rainbow. And trust me, he was "all boy" LOL. Just goes to prove (to me) that the outside is just that...the outside.

Quianna - posted on 04/19/2011

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I didn't see what the big deal was with the entire thing. Clearly on the side of the ad it has a quote from the mom says: "his favorite color is pink". My daughter's favorite color changes constantly right now it's blue- and not the "girly" blue lol. They're just kids, and they're likes and dislikes changes more frequently than most people change clothes. No big deal. Today he like wearing polish tomorrow he might find a pirate costume that he just can't live without! I'd much rather stress and worry about a child with obvious issues (health, social, mental) than one who like nail polish or some other silly accessory.

Julianne - posted on 04/18/2011

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Mary- i do chose my battles, this is one i have decided is worthi fighting.

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I would and I have. To me, it's a non-issue. If I had a girl, I'd also let her do "boyish" things if she wanted.

Mary Renee - posted on 04/18/2011

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If your daughter wants to be a prince she's not that far off... just read Shakespeare's Twelfth Night or any of the other multitude of pieces in historic literature where women have posed as men. Maybe she's just wise beyond her years.



It's a shame you wouldn't let her be a prince for Halloween. Have you ever heard the expression "Chose Your Battles?"

Jenni - posted on 04/17/2011

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@Julianne- I mentioned my husband didn't want to take my son in public with barrettes in his hair. Not sure if I was one of the people you were referring to in your post.

Let me explain anyways, my husband has never once said to my son or his daughter: these are boy things and those are girl things. Infact, he tells his daughter all the time that it's ok for her brother to want to play with barbies too. He doesn't have a problem whatsoever if our son sees me doing his sisters hair and he naturally wants those pretty barettes in his hair too. He doesn't tell him, no only girls wear those. He is very metrosexual himself... infact he shaves his legs and armpits because he doesn't like body hair. *shrug*. He is not insecure in his masculinity nor does he feel doing those things takes anything away from his masculinity.

He didn't want to take our son in public with barettes because he was worried about what other people would think. Which to me is sad. I didn't want to take them out of his hair with no explanation, I didn't want to lie to him, I didn't want to tell him you can't wear them because they are only for girls.... I don't want to dissuade him from something he likes by telling him his 'gender' means he can't like that sort of thing. Same as I wouldn't tell my daughter she can't like cars because those are boy toys. It just seems unfair to me. That's all.

Pansy - posted on 04/17/2011

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This is nutty. I will never stifle my child's desire to pretend play ... for better or worse, society will crush their naivete and let them know exactly what is and is not acceptable. If boys paint their nails they are either goth, or gay. If girls have short hair, they either have cancer or are gay. :rolleyes.

I am so glad that I have a husband who would embrace whoever or child is, and not get all macho about my son wearing his sister's dress up clothes.

Charlie - posted on 04/17/2011

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"why not celebrate that fact? why not rejoice in that? Why the PC crap of making little boys more open and femine and girls tougher and butch? how many of the fathers of these boys that have been written about are comfortable with how the mothers are raising their sons? several have stated that its become a an issue in their parenting and marriages, shouldnt that be a red flag that maybe what your doing might be wrong? "



Krista has pretty much answered all the questions you posed for me , I agree with her 100% .



To be honest I ask the same questions .



I celebrate that my boys are boys I dont think anyone is suggesting otherwise , I also celebrate and respect that he is an individual with his own interests and ideas PC to me is enforcing strict gender identities to inanimate objects and colours .



I worked in early childhood as a teacher and often photographed boys playing trucks while wearing a princess dress for observations amongst their other daily happenings rarely were the fathers or mothers bothered by it , a lot of them recalled doing the same as a child .



No one is forcing a girl to be butch or a boy to be feminine ....that is the whole point of this , it is about what the child wants , it is about how they choose to express themselves and explore the world the only forcing being done would be forcing a child to supress their natural curiosity and that is not healthy .



If a child has no interests in exploring these things than so be it but a child who wants should not be forced to supress themselves , if their are boundries then it means on the other side their is something wrong, considering childrens gender identity is hardwired at birth .......my question is what is it that you fear on the otherside ?





PS you should be able to change the blue COM logo in settings perhaps by clicking on the childs profile first .

Krista - posted on 04/17/2011

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Why the PC crap of making little boys more open and femine and girls tougher and butch?

We're not talking about FORCING a little boy to be more feminine, or a girl more masculine. We're just talking about not denying a child the innocent pleasure of having fun, bright toenails, because of what our society considers to be properly "boyish" behaviour.

how many of the fathers of these boys that have been written about are comfortable with how the mothers are raising their sons? several have stated that its become a an issue in their parenting and marriages, shouldnt that be a red flag that maybe what your doing might be wrong?

Or maybe it's a red flag that many men in our society have been raised with very restrictive rules on what is acceptable for boys, and are passing that on to their own sons. How many little boys have been forbidden from crying when upset, because dad doesn't want them to be a "sissy"? Is that really what we want for our sons? To be jammed into this narrow definition of what is "manly", and for them to have to completely deny any aspect of their being that deviates from that societal expectation?

I feel sorry for many boys and men today. Girls have so much more freedom to explore their masculine side, to be a tomboy, to dress boyishly, and it's tacitly accepted. But for a boy to display feminine traits? It's just not allowed in society (it's getting better, but we still have a LONG way to go).

Boys are so pigeonholed, with so many conflicting rules on what the "right" behaviour is. Even as men, they're supposed to be nice, but not too nice. Sensitive, but not TOO sensitive. It's got to be very frustrating.

Julianne - posted on 04/17/2011

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loureen- first off thanks for the heads up on the profile, any idea how to fix it? not sure how it got that way in the first place.
second- i have already said i dont mind if my daughters expresses an interest in different gender things, katie and abby can be construction workers, josh can be a ballerina. if that is their passion then go for it. i do how ever believe that their is a boundary. my kids need to know that they were created by a loving God as boy and girls and thats what they are. why not celebrate that fact? why not rejoice in that? Why the PC crap of making little boys more open and femine and girls tougher and butch? how many of the fathers of these boys that have been written about are comfortable with how the mothers are raising their sons? several have stated that its become a an issue in their parenting and marriages, shouldnt that be a red flag that maybe what your doing might be wrong?

Charlie - posted on 04/17/2011

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Jullianne - you do realise you have your children all marked as boys on your profile ......now either two of them have what would be considered feminine names or they are indeed girls who are marked with the COM blue profile showing it is a son .



Now I only mention this because what you are suggessting is that if a child expresses interested in a gender dominate ideal or is identified with the gender of the opposite sex then it will somehow affect the outcome of them as an individual , it could be said that simply marking your children all as boys or naming boys with feminine names will have some kind of detrimental effect , most people will find this logically absurd , about as logically absurd that a child should not be free to express themselves as indivduals without confusion and projected societal pressure and anxiety that only an adult and parent can push on them for fear of gender confusion ......colour , shoes and clothes do not confuse children society does .

Jenni - posted on 04/17/2011

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Gender specific dress, toys, roles are social attitudes but are they really THAT important that we have to take a crap if we see a boy in pink nail polish?

In the 1700s men wore make up and wigs. Social attitudes towards gender dress are just changing like they have for the last 60 mil yrs.



Women wear pants now.... naughty naughty. Men use styling products in their hair and dye it. Men get their ears pierced (that was once something only practiced by homosexuals). Plenty of men wear pink shirts... never use to. The man purse was invented. I'm sure we can come up with hundreds of examples throughout history where gender specific dress has changed. It is just a physical sign we are getting closer to gender equality.



Men use to NEVER wear nail polish. In the last 15 years I've seen a large increase in men wearing nail polish. It started black.... now it's pink... so what? What is the fear behind it? What is the fear behind men (or boys in this example) adopting 'women' specific' dress?



The only one I can think of is fear of them being gay. Or that other people might think: "Why is that mother letting her son wear pink nail polish, is she trying to make him gay?" Yeah, so for me it all encompasses the fear of being gay or someone else thinking they might be encouraging their son to be gay. Which is absolutely ridiculous and ignorant on so many levels.... IMO.



I wouldn't have a problem with my son wanting pink nails, or wanting to wear make up, or put on a dress or own a purse. Honestly, I don't give a flying canary. If someone else has a problem with it... they can huff and puff and say "Well I NEVER!" all they want... don't care.



My hubby may have a slightly different attitude about it than me. ;) He wouldn't take my son to the grocery store with barettes in his hair. I didn't see a problem with it. I just wouldn't be comfortable telling my son. No those are 'only' for girls.



My SD constantly tells my son that certain toys are only for girls. Like when my son says he wants a barbie doll or a baby doll. She says: "No Ben! That's a girl toy and you are not a girl, you is a boy!" I'm not a big fan of that. So I say: "he can have a baby doll too if he wants. Mommy's who are girls take care of babies and Daddy's who are boys take care of babies too." It's funny because the apparent gender rule doesn't apply to her; she still plays with his cars and I've even caught her trying to pee standing up after watching my son. I have to admit it drives me a bit batty that *someone* is putting so much emphasis on gender roles because she says stuff like that constantly.



My son doesn't even know that he's a boy. He's almost 3 yrs old. He often calls himself a girl. Not that I don't teach him or refer to him as a boy. I just don't put a lot of emphasis on what gender everyone is. I don't feel it's all that important.

Alecia - posted on 04/17/2011

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u take that wrong...gender roles in society are relative. there are some cultures where the woman hunted and the man did the household things. so yes, its completely relative. just cuz i have a vagina, doesnt mean i have to be the "girl" that society wants me to be. i will act, dress, and do the job i want, regardless of my vagina :p

Julianne - posted on 04/17/2011

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"Gender is relative concept"?
really? do you understand that you were created as a boy or a girl. there is nothing relative in the fact that i do in fact have a vagina and not a penis. there is nothing relative in my uterus, breast, hormones. all of those thing are concrete and make me what i am.

Sarah - posted on 04/17/2011

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I don't think I would be proud if my daughter meekly fell into her traditional role as a girl. I encourage her to get out of the box and to embrace her strengths, be they masculine or feminine. And I know I will do the same with my son once he's born (17 more weeks, yay!).

I guess i must've done something right since my child is safe, loved and well behaved (mostly!).

[deleted account]

"My kids have the freedom to be who they want to be, but there are boundaries."

Hey, little Billy, you can be *whatever* you want to be! Oh, but not A, B, C, D..... You can't be those things because I don't approve. But be who you want to be.

Hmmm....

I love what Jon Stewart said on the issue:

"After showing a clip of Dan Gainor, vice president of Media Research Center saying, “It's not about painting somebody's toenails, it's about painting a five-year-old boy's toenails hot pink, or what's the word they use? Neon,” a dazed Stewart says, “Well, thanks for saying the word neon the way you would say the word dildo.”

“If you take them [children] to a face painting booth, it doesn't make them cats, or cat lovers, or Rum Tum Tugger – not that there's anything wrong with that,” Steward comments after showing several clips of riled up social conservatives likening nail polish to “gender bending.”

And when in a Fox News clip Keith Ablow is seen saying the ad is “an attack on masculinity,” Stewart counters with, “If only masculinity had a defender. Someone like four time Ultimate Fighting Champion Chuck Liddell,” who paints his toenails black."

http://www.ontopmag.com/article.aspx?id=...

Alecia - posted on 04/17/2011

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" We must have done something right b/c my son is 12 and has NEVER asked to have his nails painted, never wanted to wear a princess dress, heels, or make-up."

this statement is so rude, bcuz it obviously implies that u feel that if any of our sons like pink, and want their nails painted when they r little, that we parented wrong. some boys just do, just like some girls like to be rough-and-tumble, and suppressing that isnt allowing them to be who they are.

Barb - posted on 04/17/2011

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Candi, children learn what is and isn't acceptable from their parents. Even if you have never said "it is not acceptable for boys to paint their fingernails" i'm sure he's smart enough to get the jist this would not be a welcome request from him to you and THAT could be why he's never asked you to paint his fingernails.

Johnny - posted on 04/16/2011

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My daughter is into all things pink, frilly, tutus, and tiaras. How this happened, I have no clue. We don't do the Disney princess thing at all. But she insists that she is a prince, not a princess. I'm really not sure why. Whatever, I don't correct her. Who really cares? It's all make believe and it's just for fun.

Gender is such a relative concept. And so unimportant in who one is at the core. I just can't imagine insisting that she must add an "s-s" on to the end of her current imaginary personage to be "correct". I can see nothing good coming out of that at all.

If I have a boy who wants his nails painted, I'll be thrilled. My daughter has not interest in sitting still for that kind of thing and I sort of feel like I'm missing out, lol.

Candi - posted on 04/16/2011

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Thank you Julianne. I am glad to know I am not the only one who feels this way. My kids have the freedom to be who they want to be, but there are boundaries. We must have done something right b/c my son is 12 and has NEVER asked to have his nails painted, never wanted to wear a princess dress, heels, or make-up. I am proud to have a boy and 2 girls and they know the difference.

Julianne - posted on 04/16/2011

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i am with candi. i have 2 girls ages 5,7 and a 2 yr old boy. my oldest is in love with all things boy, trains, tools, you name it. and while i have no issues with her playing with them, they are toys, when she wanted to be a prince for halloween the answer was no. we explained that a prince is a boy and she is a girl and needed to choose something else. she could be a astronaught, a pilot, a cowgirl, any of those because both boys and girls are those things. She could not be a prince cause she is a girl. My 2 year old loves my shoes, his sister tiara, anything soft. but when it comes down to it he is a little BOY not a girl and there is a line we shouldnt cross in regards to who they are. i will not paint his nails, even if he begs, but i will let him pick his hair style, color, and what ever else helps him express himself as a little boy and a future grown man

Alecia - posted on 04/16/2011

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@ Candi...i think ur crazy. if i had a little boy and he wanted to wear pink, and play dress up with dresses then he sure as hell can. and my daughter can play in the mud with trucks and wear blue....which is actually MY favorite color. and im sure if i have a boy he will want to emulate mommy some...my 18 mnth old lil girl already likes to watch me put on make up, and use lipstick..so at some point im sure a son would as well. and its ok. i want my kids to know that they can be themselves and i will always love them anyway. i have rules, and already use time-outs with my daughter, but im not going to tell her that she can only play with gender "appropiate" toys, so i wouldnt do that to a boy...i feel bad for some kids, knowing they have to be a certian way just to please their parents.

Barb - posted on 04/16/2011

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I think it's absolutely ridiculous that this made it into the news!! Really? with everything else going on THIS is an issue? How silly! How trite! Education is being cut, good teachers are losing their jobs and right to collectively bargain, they are cutting vital programs for the poor at the worst time ever. Japan is too horrific to even imagine or quantify, we have 3 wars going on, (that we know about) congressmen who don't know the difference between 90% and 3%. Let alone totally selling out the American public and THIS is the news?



Cute story, while working as an electrician on a job. I had a general contractor who would do nothing all day but hang around my working area and have a conversation with me, didn't really matter if i was involved in the conversation or not.. he just liked to talk at me.



While on this job, one evening my husband and i had gone out for a special occasion with some friends. We were going to a very nice restaurant and i had gotten very cleaned up, makeup, nails done, even wore panty hose and heels!!



The next day at work, i was still wearing my nail polish and of course he noticed and that is what his conversation was about. Construction workers are not allowed to wear nail polish on his job!! i better get that shit off and never wear it again on his job site! I ignored him and blew him off.



Next day i came in with my nail polish still on and when he started to say something to me, the plumber came over and showed his nails. they were painted red, then here came the HVAC guy, his nails were painted pink with sparkles and stars, and here came the own general contractors carpenter LOL His nails were a very pretty mauve..



Plumber asked "so you want us all to go home then?" GC turned around, left to his trailer, slammed the door and we didn't see him the rest of the day.



now THOSE are men!!!

Charlie - posted on 04/15/2011

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Sherri same thing at the school I worked in , dress ups included things from police uniforms , animal costumes to princess dresses .

Nearly all the boys at one stage dressed up in the princess dresses ......and then play trucks in them , another little boy at our school LOVED pink , had pink gumboots he wore all the time because HE asked for them and I tell you that kid was such a little boy always running around shooting , building , being a dinosaur all in his pink boots .

Not to mention the day spa I used to go to was also the day spa that all of the 1st grade Rugby league ( Football )players went to for manicures , massages , hotstone therapy , vichy showers and *GASP* facials !

Sherri - posted on 04/15/2011

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Candi FYI at my son's preschool they have dress up and more often than not it is the boys who put on the princess dresses, princess shoes and crowns. Just sayin'



My friends son dresses in his sisters dress up clothes and princess shoes all the time just sayin'



At 3 all my middle son wanted for his 3rd birthday was a baby doll. So we took him to the store and let him pick out the one he wanted. He could feed it, change it and it called him mommy. His favorite color was pink until 1st grade, when all the kids told him it wasn't allowed. He is now a healthy 12 yr old tween. Just sayin'

Amber - posted on 04/15/2011

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I know several men who have manicures and keep their fingers and toes painted with a clear coat. They don't feel "pretty" they feel clean and presentable. A few of them are in the military and all of them are married.

I don't stifle my son with silliness over gender. The only reason we have gender roles in society is because people have set them. Not because they are necessary or are biologically preset....but because one day somebody decided that it was how the world was going to do things.

All you have to do is look back throughout history to see how well gender roles have worked out for humanity as a whole. They have been used to oppress people over and over again. Why is this a tradition that we must cling to? Hide who you are so that others can be happy with you. Only do things that others approve of, even if it does not fulfill you in life. Wonderful messages......

Juliana - posted on 04/15/2011

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I dont see anything wrong with boys painting their toe nails. My son is 8 and when he was 3-4, I used to paint his toes and if he wanted to dress up in my clothes, I would let him. Kids are curious about everything. Whats wrong with letting them use their imaginations and using makeup or nail polish. Now hes a typical 8 year old boy, hes on the wrestling team, plays his DS, and does everything like most boys do.

Sarah - posted on 04/15/2011

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Of Course I would let me son wear princess slippers- who cares? My brother has 4 very rough and tumble little boys and i know for fact that the middle one regularly liked to wander about in his mom's high heels, no harm, no foul. My little girl is obsessed with her Daddy's dirty work hats & hardhat (ew!) and she can wear them till she's blue in the face for all I care. I don't see anything strange about children emulating their parent, regardless of which parent that is.

I completely agree there should be boundaries for children, however I don't think boundaries should interfere with their selfexpression or non-dangerous play. I am a super strict mom, that's how I was rasied but as long as my children are behaving well, saying please, thank you, ma'am, sir, excuse me and aren't throwing fits/behaving respectfully they can wear whatever they choose!

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If I knew some web-acronym for rolling my eyes, I'd type it here. I feel the same way about this question as I do about gay marriage. These are things that are harmless at worst and positive at best! Why would anyone object???

It seems to me that anyone who has a problem with something like this has too much time on their hands.

Krista - posted on 04/15/2011

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It's not that these women are actively pushing their little boys to dress like girls. But nor are they pushing them away from it. Kids like bright colours. They like decorating stuff. They hate a world that is only shades of gray -- the more colourful the better.

This isn't about femininity or masculinity, for pete's sake. It's about the fact that little kids love colour. So if a little boy sees that his nails are plain, and that his mommy's nails are bright pink, or red, or whatever, then it's really only natural that he would want fun, colourful nails as well, instead of plain ones.

And to then say to him, "No! Coloured nails are only for girls!"...well, then the poor kid is wondering what in the hell he did wrong. He just wanted fun, colourful toenails like Mommy, but he's not allowed to, because he's a boy?

Kids are so innocent. They don't give a damn about what boys are supposed to like or what girls are supposed to like. Just let them be KIDS, and yeah, if your boy thinks it'd be fun to put on a poofy dress, and your girl thinks it'd be fun to put on a spaceman outfit, then what's the harm? They're not reading the same stuff into it that we are -- to them, it's just fun.

It's a shame that we adults are so damn hung up on gender convention that we have to chip away at the innocence of little boys and little girls, just so that WE'RE more comfortable.

Candi - posted on 04/15/2011

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I didn't say boys shouldn't want to feel attractive, but they shouldn't want to feel "pretty". I have never seen a nail polish ad with men on it. Its all women with beautiful long nails. I just don't understand why women want to dress their little boys like girls.I would be willing to bet most dads would not allow this. There are so many ways for a boy to express who he is without painting his fingernails. Boundaries have to be set in the house. If your son wanted to wear a dress and princess slippers, would you let him?Its crazy

Sarah - posted on 04/15/2011

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Candi- I don't see how boys shouldn't want to feel attractive. Afterall, we do want our children to have high self-esteem.
I have a serious problem with pigeonholing our children into stereotypical gender roles. If my little girl wants to play in the mud with trucks (which she does) I'm certainly not going to tell her she can't. And if her younger brother wants to play with her dolls, I'm not going to stop him either. Same goes for clothes- especially when you consider that less than 50 years ago it was practically unheard of for women to wear pants.
It seems especialy strange to me that as women we would demand equality and yet deny it to little boys. No one bats an eye at a "tomboy" but a girly boy is like the worst thing ever, talk about a double standard.

Charlie - posted on 04/14/2011

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Colour has no gender , it wont "confuse" them the only thing that confuses young minds is parents with warped ideas of kids turning gay which quiet frankly shows a huge amount of ignorance and lack of knowledge in biology and psychology of humans .

People who fear such tedious things really need to look to themselves and why they are so against such a thing , why they cannot see past the neolithic period and not to their childrens will to explore and express theselves .

Children unlike some adults are not tainted by irrational and illogical ideas of gender specific colouring , adults need to STOP projecting their weird issues on children .

As a matter of fact pink was originally a colour associated with BOYS as it was a diluted shade of red , red being the British army colour .

BLUE was a feminine colour as it was mother Mary's colour .

Luckily in the modern day in age MOST people have dragged themselves out of their caves , realised the world is indeed round and can now accept that a boy will grow to be himself , no amount of putting pink on him will turn him gay or confuse him otherwise generations of little girls would be gay when people started using pink on them , hoards of mothers who wore pants even for a day and have short hair would be closet lesbians and I hate to break it to the offended parents no amount of trucks , guns , and pirate costumes will stop your son being gay if that is how he was born , it may surpress his natural inclinations to be himself , it may force him to hide his sexuality and spin him into major depression but hey as long as they dont offend you feel free to shove them into that pigeon hole .

A child needs to respected as an individual with the need to explore and express not forced into some mould or preconceived notion of what they should or should not be according to you .

Candi - posted on 04/14/2011

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If you raise a little boy to be a boy, he won't ask to have his nails painted. So paint a boy's nails when he is young, what next? A dress? then makeup? May as well buy him some My Little Pony underwear while you're at it. Women wear nail polish to feel and look pretty. Boys shouldn't want to look "pretty". Like I said, its just my opinion

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But in your example, Candi, your brother didn't want them painted. What's wrong with a boy asking for them to be painted?

Sherri - posted on 04/14/2011

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I did all my boys nails just used clear nail polish for them. They loved it!!

Candi - posted on 04/14/2011

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Nope. I wouldn't do it. Luckily my son would never ask. Boys need to be treated like boys, not treated like little girls. If you want to paint nails, paint your own or your daughter's. I remember getting into so much trouble once b/c my sister and I painted my brother's fingernails pink while he was sleeping(he was close to 20 yrs old). He threatened to kill us...and we believed him! We did it as a joke and let him know about it before he left the house. I know people will have negative things to say to me, but thats my opinion.

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I wouldn't, but I don't paint my own. I don't even have nail polish. I had a lot of male friends in high school that painted their nails; in fact I knew more boys who painted their nails than girls. Needless to say the colors they chose were a bit different... mainly dark colors and black.

Now if I was into the whole nail painting thing, or if I decided to get a manicure or pedicure and my son wanted to join me... more power to him.

Sarah - posted on 04/14/2011

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Of course I would! Who cares if a little boy has his toenails panted? Seems to me his mom should be getting accolades for spending a day with her son, not yelled at for painting his toenails.

Erin - posted on 04/14/2011

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I just painted my 3 year old's this past weekend with pink and green. I see NO problem whatsoever with boys painting their toe or fingernails. It's quite dumb (IMO) that people are getting upset about it.

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