Anika - posted on 09/13/2010 ( 163 moms have responded )
Following on from the 'Long or short of it' thread, what are your thoughts about living together before getting married?
In New Zealand I think its fairly common for couples to live together first before getting married or even engaged. I was discussing this with a friend of mine who lives here but is from California and was surprised when she said in her hometown it was still the norm to wait until you're married to move in together. I was also surprised at the 'quickness' of moving from each stage. ie getting engaged after being together for a year.
Now I'm not saying that every couple should be together for 8 years before getting engaged like my husband and I did, but 1 year seems quick to me. And I think there are a lot of benefits to living with someone first. You know what you're getting into. For example, I had 8 years to get over the fact that my husband is incapable of washing all the dirty dishes, he always misses something, EVEN if it's RIGHT in front of him, LOL or on a serious note, I have a pretty good idea about his values and perspective on issues and thankfully they're the same as mine.
I feel so strongly about this, that if my daughter came to me in 25 years time and told me she was getting married to someone she'd never lived with, I would advise her to live with them for awhile first.
What do you think? Are you glad you lived with your partner first? What would you think if your child wanted to live with someone before getting married or if they waited until they married? Do you think there are any disadvantages to living together first?