Moms Decry Eatery Over Breast-Feeding Tiff
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
This is way off the point but it's getting to me -
What is it with all this "cover" business? I don't know anyone who uses a "cover" when breastfeeding, but (capitals intended because I'm shouting!) PEOPLE DON'T JUST WHIP OUT THE BOOB! YOU CAN'T SEE ANYTHING WHEN YOU'RE WEARING A NORMAL TOP OR JUMPER!
Sherri, the mom was covered. A breastfeeding cover says to the world "LOOK AT ME! I'M BREASTFEEDING!!" So, yes, people know what you're doing. I actually haven't read a story recently (minus the Kim Kardashian tweet) about moms who weren't covered. They were all covered when they were harassed. I know plenty of moms who can very discreetly pull baby up to breast and latch baby on without showing anything. All it takes is a nursing tank and a shirt on top. I'm positive that I've shown way more skin trying to latch my daughter on while fighting a cover than I would've if I didn't use one. I agree that you should let both of the girls just hang there while you chat with your friend, but I don't think that everyone has to wear a huge tarp while breastfeeding.
Stephanie - posted on 07/25/2010
Ok I'm way to tired to get full fledged into this but I never really used a blanket or "cover". My son hated it and would throw it off. I always wore a T-shirt with a tank top underneath and pulled the t-shirt up and pulled the tank top down and that was it - u might have seen a little skin while i was doing it and u might not have. For all the parents that are so concerned about their child seeing a flash of boob I'm wondering if those children are allowed to go to a public pool, or a public place of any kind where the dress code isn't regulated. I've seen way more boobage at Walmart on teen girls than what I've ever seen while a mother was nursing her child.
Valerie - posted on 07/23/2010
Carol - I do think it's a bit rude to call women here who are saying to cover up when you BF losers and dumb asses. A bit over the top don't you think? To me "cover up" means with a cover of some kind or.....your shirt. When I BF my shirt makes a lovely cover.
I think the point many are making is that some women go the extremes to flaunt their boobs when they BF just cause they can. But these are the same types who do other obnoxious things in public just to get attention...not merely restricted to BF. :) Most women who BF you don't even notice that they are unless you stare right at them.
I'm not skeptical at all. I've read tons of stories recently like this. I think it should be made a big deal when a mom is harassed for feeding her baby. People need to get the message that nursing a baby is normal. I don't get how people can be rude to total strangers. Regardless of how a mom is feeding her baby, leave her alone!
Here are a few examples of mom's being harassed while nursing in public. I don't think they are trying to get their 15 minutes. They are just the only ones brave enough to speak up.
This ones my favorite: mom nursing on a beach are told to cover up. LOL! A beach where T & A all hang out of teeny weeny bikinis.
Meghan - posted on 07/21/2010
I am sure she is Dana! There are probably tons of moms who go through this and just go home and bitch to their friends and family...which is what I would do! I think a few years ago...well before J and R where born, there was a sit in at The Bay somewhere in Van for this very sort of thing...
You are right. If they are offended by it then don't look!
I have tried but i find it hard to be discreet... Baby like to be difficult! :) And its my own issues which is why i choose to BF in the car, but it is winter here so the car can sometimes be a lot warmer!
I BF but i choose to do it in the car when we are out and about. I Don't like making a spectical of myself which is what it feels like. I wish i could just do it anywhere but i find that trying to get a baby to latch with a blanket or throw over my shoulder just draws attention to what i am doing and i also can't keep the stupid blanket in place.
I would rather see a woman BF then a teenage girl hanging out!
Sherri - posted on 07/20/2010
I never sheltered my kids from it. But I do think that strangers don't have to have it so up in there face. I wouldn't want to expose myself in front of anybody elses children or complete strangers. So I was extremely discreet and would just throw a receiving blanket over my shoulder and that solved my problem, my babies were fed and didn't make anyone else uneasy.
Meghan - posted on 07/20/2010
How come it is acceptable for a woman to go out on the town with her chest popping out...? We have all seen women (I am sure) either walking through the store, or out on the beach, or walking down the street that could be more covered up...society has made it so that if it is a fashion statement it is sexy...but why is it offensive if a woman sits in the corner of a cafe and FEEDS her child?? I just really don't get it!
I don't live in the US, but in the UK and over here women have the right to breastfeed babies under the age of 6 months without being stopped from doing so. I planned to breastfeed my son but only managed 6 days because he developed severe jaundice and dropped from 6lb12oz to 5lb9oz because my milk hadn't come in. Whilst I wanted to breastfeed I knew I'd never breastfeed in public because I'd feel uncomfortable about doing it mainly because you don't know who's around you these days and instead would express milk and feed him by bottle whilst out. I don't have a problem with women breastfeeding as long as they are discreet.
I find it weird that people want to shelter their children from breastfeeding so much. That's probably one reason why it's not the norm. I want my daughter and all my future children to see moms breastfeeding. I don't care if they're covered or not. I plan to breastfeed in front of all of my children without a cover.
You're right Meghan! Damned if you do and damned if you don't. That seems to be the case with a lot of parenting issues.
Meghan - posted on 07/20/2010
this sort of thing was the EXACT reason I always nursed in the car. It's ok that me and my son where uncomfortable but GOD forbid I offend anyone.
I was at a small cafe once and went to go out to the car to feed him and the owner told me to get back in and sit where we would be comfortbale. I loved that she did that. It just upsets me that in a society where mother's are made to feel like shit for formula feeding, people also make you feel like shit for breast feeding? Doesn't make sense!
I realize that they haven't responded and my guess is that they won't. It's a lose/lose situation for the restaurant....either way they'll look like assholes. If they say she's lying they're assholes and if they apologize they're still assholes. I would imagine they're consulting a legal team and might possibly respond at a later time after they've been given specific instruction. The thing that bothers me about this is that it's impossible to know if she's telling the truth and it's comes down to he said, she said. SOMETIMES, and please don't crucify me, breastfeeding moms can be nazis about it.....who's to say she isn't lying to present herself with an opportunity to bring light to the war against breastfeeding. Perhaps it's just a stunt on her part to make her statement publicly? Maybe I'm just a cynic but I think she's a fame whore. Plus this is a debate and I think it's boring if we all agree.
@Sara....it's not a FACT that the mother was covered up and alone on the patio.....that's HER version of the story! SHE said she was covered up and until we here the other side we don't know if she was or not.....if she was alone like she claims there couldn't have been any witnesses to back up her version.
I have no problem with people breastfeeding in public because it's their right to do so and IF what she's saying is true then I feel she was wronged but I guess we'll never know?!!
LaCi - posted on 07/20/2010
Basically there was an issue because parents who had children with them complained to the staff and wanted to be moved to a different area. Anyway, I don't think it should be an issue, even if you aren't doing it discreetly. There isn't anything taboo about a boob, IMO. But I feel we should be allowed to walk around topless if we so choose.
But, quite frankly, I don't care. I think this is a silly story. The restaurant was trying to balance the demands of its guests. She was trying to feed her kids. Everybody can't be happy all the freakin' time, shit happens. Had they not said anything to her, 5 other tables would have been pissed, when they do say something to her, she's pissed.
I was going to stay out of this one until I started reading the responses. That got me interested in watching the clip.
1. The mother was covered up and was alone on the patio of the restaurant.
2. Feeding a baby is not a "want." It's a need.
I don't see why there was an issue over this.
Sherri - posted on 07/20/2010
Where I am from It would be disrespectful not to cover up. I breastfed 3 children and wouldn't have dreamed of not covering in public. My sister n law won't breastfeed in public or even in front of family she goes into a separate room were she can close a door and do it in private. So no I don't have a problem breastfeeding in public at all as long as it is being discreet and nothing is showing. You have some pigs that flop it out like they are a porn star and those are the people I have issues with. Where we live it is a very modest community and even our teens are covered. The worst you may see is a tank top that shows some belly to show a naval ring. But certainly nothing that doesn't leave anything to the imagination.
Rosie - posted on 07/20/2010
i would have to agree with dana. while i don't feel covering up during the act of breastfeeding is necessary, getting latched and unlatched i feel needs a bit more modesty sometimes. i have seen a few to many areoli in my day. it's not like it's going to kill me or anything, i just think a little modesty would be nice now and then. ;)
Johnny - posted on 07/19/2010
It does seem like some people are afraid of what is natural & normal. It seems as if they do not want to be reminded that we are animals, that we are mammals who are designed to feed our young at the breast. I wonder if those are the same people who are constantly trying to convince themselves that we didn't evolve as primates....?
Did anyone catch the second comment on the news from the "mom" at the end of the clip? She says she'll never understand the "want" to feed a baby in public. Should moms stay locked in their homes? I don't know about you, but I certainly didn't feed in public for attention. I did it so my baby would live.
Johnny - posted on 07/19/2010
And while I was modest while I breastfed, 'cause that's how I roll, where I live, and actually in many North American jurisdictions, there is no obligation to cover up while breastfeeding. So if you want to let it all hang out, just don't get annoyed if I don't look.
Johnny - posted on 07/19/2010
If I can sit there, I can breastfeed there. In fact, if I can stand there, I can breastfeed there. Well, except for places that minors are not otherwise permitted. It would probably be wrong to breastfeed waiting in the beer line in the pub. I can't believe there are still losers out there telling nursing moms to cover up. What a dumbass!
There were probably at least a handful of people in that restaurant that had more tit showing than the breastfeeding mom. Even if she didn't use a cover her shirt would cover what baby's head didn't. It shouldn't be an issue either way. This just makes me think of the stupid Kim Kardashian breastfeeding tweet...OMG, a mom at another table is breastfeeding without a cover!!! Gag me! So gross. Oh hold on, my nipple just popped out of my tube top belly shirt. Gotta tuck that back in...
Sherri - posted on 07/19/2010
I don't think breastfeeding is controversial ladies it is people who are plain rude and just whip out a boob with no modesty or respect to others around them. Mothers who cover up rarely if ever have controversy's or issues. I honestly do not want to see anyone elses private body parts. Nor do I want my 13 & 11 yr old sons witnessing such a thing. Respect for everyone is key.
Sherri - posted on 07/19/2010
I have no problem with any mother breastfeeding there child anywhere AS LONG as they are modest and cover up. If they are exposing themselves full blown with no modesty then that is not respectful to others and not really exceptable. So I have a feeling she wasn't asked to leave as much for breastfeeding her child as much as not being respectful to other patrons and at least covering up because no one would have even known if she was feeding her baby if she was covered. If this is the case then I have to say I am on the side of Johnny Rockets.
Amber - posted on 07/19/2010
If she was covered up, then I think it should be a non-issue. If she had them hanging out for the world to see it would have been different, because I can see how some people wouldn't want to see it or have their own child see it.
I'll never understand why it's such a big deal for a woman to breast feed. That is the whole reason we have breasts.
People can put up almost nude posters all over the place, but a baby eating is offensive? hmmm....Let's get our priorities straight.
Jane - posted on 07/19/2010
I think this country needs to get over the breastfeeding thing...it's a natural way for a baby to eat. However, the problem is really all about the US's issue with the body and nudity as a whole. If we could just embrace the naked body as nothing more than a body, instead of a sexual thing, then the breastfeeding issue would go away. That won't happen...unfortunately, so someone has to champion the breastfeeding thing in court and make it illegal for establishments to ever ask a mother to breastfeed their child anywhere other than where they are sitting! Ticks me off to no end.
prolly lol...I'm not a breastfeeding mom but its the point of it all that moms are not second class citizens and if she was being classy about it then who should care?? If they throw her out for breast feeding they better throw out every man who adjusts his package in the restaurant or for that matter every person farts...that's much more offensive to me lol
No, unless I misunderstood her after watching the video? I swear SHE said that she had gone out front and was covered up and "they" told her to go outside on a PUBLIC bench or use their washroom. Am I the only one who's hearing it that way? She must have been on their patio or somewhere else outside on their property.
Do any of you think there MIGHT be more to this story that we're not hearing? It seems strange to me that she was outside the restaurant and by her say-so she was covered up and they still asked her to completely move off the restaurants property?! That's obsurd and maybe someone is trying to get their 15 minutes of fame?
Jaime - posted on 07/19/2010
Amy, I think it's a nice notion to want to write to the restaurant owner and explain the fault in their point-of-view, but I can guarantee it would do no good. Your letter would need to reach a media outlet to produce the desired effect...I think that's why they picketed...it drew media attention and now Johnny can't hide under his crappy burger hat!
Amy - posted on 07/19/2010
Wow, I think that's wrong, and if I was the mother I would have written a nice little letter to the owner showing examples why it's just not right and that they've lost my business and plan to let them know they aren't a "breastfeeding friendly" place.
I have no problem with mom's breastfeeding while out in public, although I do prefer they cover up as much as they can.
Our society is so stupid. Why is feeding a baby controversial? I wouldn't feed my kid in my own bathroom (which is cleaned frequently and I know who uses it) let alone a public bathroom. Yuck! There have been way too many moms harassed for breastfeeding in public lately. It's stupid.
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms