My husband had a vasectomy 3 years ago, we both agreed on it, but now...

Jamie - posted on 01/05/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband had a vasectomy after our youngest was born July of 2007. We both agreed we didn't want to try again, because he didn't want any more kids, and neither did I because I was a middle child and hated it... plus I have had some health issues following both my pregnancies, nothing severe, just enough to make me worry that I couldn't handle another one! Before my last I also miscarried, so that was another concern, could I go through that again? So we did it, and I've been fine with it for a while, but for the last year, with my family and friends having more babies, I'm wondering if we should've waited! I love my girls very much, but I've always wanted a boy! Now my brother and his wife have twin boys, first twins in our family, and first boys, and I can't help but wonder if my next one would've been a boy???? I can't help this feeling that I still want my boy, and now I can't have it... we both agreed that if we still wanted a boy, we would adopt later, but with the economy the way it is, and our finances, it seems absolutely impossible to even dream about it, let alone actually consider it! We can't afford it, and by the time we could, am I even going to want more kids? I can't stop these thoughts and feelings, and when I try to talk to my husband he thinks I'm kidding, but I'm not! How do I get over these feelings, or make him understand that I'm serious, so that I have someone to talk to about it?

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Candi - posted on 01/05/2011

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If you're worried about finances, the last thing on your mind should be another baby. Its hard not to get baby fever when so many people around you are having babies. Enjoy your girls and think when those new parents are going through diapers,2am feedings,potty training, and baby sickness, you can just sit back and smile!! Enjoy your new nephews. You can buy all the boy things for them and enjoy them, then hand them back to their parents so you can get a good nights rest!! As the new babies start to grow and are no longer "new" the novelty will wear off and you will be over the baby fever. Maybe.. A friend of mine had 3 boys and a husband with a vasectomy. She told him she wanted another.I have no clue why with those boys of hers!!(terrible), He got the vasectomy reversed and now they have 3 terrible boys and a little girl. Getting it reversed does not guarantee that his "plumbing" will work though. So you have to be prepared for that possibility. If he won't listen to you right now, start a journal and jot down your thoughts and when he is ready to listen, hand him the journal and he will see you are serious. Give it time though. Chances are the baby fever will wear off. Either way, Good Luck

Jamie - posted on 01/06/2011

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Thank you so much, I never thought about keeping a journal, and you're right, there are no guarantees that a reversal would work... and I do enjoy the whole sleeping through the night thing...lol! I just have to keep reminding myself, that we stopped for a reason, and leave it at that! Thank again!

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