Need some advice

Supermummi - posted on 07/31/2012

Well Kayla I wish you the best of luck and little Amber will be a part in my every night and morning prayer .....I know you are doing what a lot of wife's would do and that is believing your husben ..but you did say he was showering her ..you didnt tell us he was getting the water ready for her and remember if he is doing something wrong to her and you know about and are covering up for him you will convicted of the same crime .....I am just saying

Dove - posted on 07/31/2012

Is there no mother involved? Her father is gone until Wednesday? How much time are you and your husband caring for her?

Kayla - posted on 07/31/2012

I think its a matter of not being properly cared for Dove...I've explained to her that there is nothing wrong with the rubbing she does but it needs to be done in private in her room or the bathroom. I went out today and she picked out some new panties which Im going to bill her dad for when he gets home on Wednesday.

Dove - posted on 07/31/2012

Assuming you believe his story. I'm not automatically going to say he is lying, but it really sounds like something IS happening to this child. Either 'someone' is abusing her... or she's just not being properly cared for (dirty underwear) and taught proper boundaries (rubbing herself in front of other people).

Kayla - posted on 07/31/2012

He was only getting her water ready since we've been having problems with our shower. Not sure why he didn't just put them in the hamper but sometimes he is forgetful. What else would he be doing with them? We've been like god-parents to her for the last 3 years and this is the first time anything like this has happened...

Supermummi - posted on 07/31/2012

I agree with Dove 100 percent .....

Supermummi - posted on 07/31/2012

Kayla why does your husband give Amber a shower ? I don't know but I have a 4 yr old little girl and I am showing her and keep on showing her how to clean her body ...I or no one should touch her body part or shower her that's what I have told her and I only make sure I wash her hair ....I think that if I was Amber's mother I would not feel right that she would get shower by my bby siter's husband or if I would watch kids I would not let my husband do that ...Amber is 7 she is a big girl already and can shower on her own don't you think ?Kayla please look into this more and I hope and pray that nothing bad is going on with Amber...

Dove - posted on 07/31/2012

Not to mention... If she's 7... HE doesn't need to give her a shower!! She can do that herself.

Dove - posted on 07/31/2012

I'm not buying it. What kind of a man would put a child's dirty panties in his POCKET instead of straight to the hamper when you're even in your own house?! I don't want to jump the gun, but I think something is happening to this child.....

Kayla - posted on 07/31/2012

Thanks for all of the info girls...I talked to him about it last night and he told me they were Amber's panties (my neighbors lil girl we babysit). I went to the store the other night and he gave her a shower and picked them up in the bathroom and forgot to put them in the hamper. Amber's dad has a bad habit of not making sure she changes her panties everyday and sometimes they are dirty when he drops her off. Anyone else have any ideas on how I can help her keep them clean? I thought about panty liners but don't know if she's too young for them. She has also been rubbing a lot down there lately in front of both of us and said she does it because it feels really good. I checked her for a rash down there but there wasn't any and she wasn't red...just aroused.

Annabelle - posted on 07/31/2012

Ummm, that is odd even if you had a child that would be odd. I'd talk to someone first about how to approach this maybe a councilor or pastor (if you have one). But remember most are mandated reporters so it's VERY likely this will be reported as a possible abuse situation. Whatever you do don't ignore it!!!!!

Supermummi - posted on 07/31/2012

I wish you the best of luck ....and hope he just pick them up and put in his pocket and forgot about them . May ou should ask the little girl if there hers...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/31/2012

Kayla, any updates? Been thinking about you all day.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/30/2012

This is a very uncomfortable situation. WHY would have have a little girls pee and pooped stained underwear? WHY if it is one of his friends kids would he have willingly put that into his pocket? Yeah, you need to be asking him some hard questions. Or simply, find out which friends he had been with this week that have kids, and go straight to the source. I feel the same way as Stella, I am not sure I would believe any explanation. I don't know. This is a weird one for sure.

Lakota - posted on 07/30/2012

Kayla, have you asked him? To be honest, if I was in your shoes, I don't know if I would believe any explanation. I would want to, but, this is out there and I can't even think of a good explanation.

Kayla - posted on 07/30/2012

Dirty like stained in the front and back...pee and poo stains

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/30/2012

I am not sure I really want to know, but how do you mean dirty? Bloody? Poopy?

Jaime - posted on 07/30/2012

I think perhaps before you jump to any conclusions you should talk to him and ask him where they came from. It is a very strange thing to find in his pants pocket, but it's possible there is an explanation for them being there. I am not suggesting that you give up your gut feeling of suspicion, but you should really talk to him about it before you take any significant action.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/30/2012

Dirty? This makes me very nervous. I have to agree with everything Dove has said. There is nothing about this that sounds right. Where has he been that he would be with little kids? i would start investigating. I hope he is not harming some innocent little girl, and robbing her of her youth. There is only one thing that comes to mind, and it is not good.

Dove - posted on 07/29/2012

Actually.... I think you should probably get away from this man... and now. Talk to a counselor about the best way to protect your unborn child from him because there isn't a single GOOD reason I can think of him having some little girl's panties at all... much less dirty ones in his pocket.

Dove - posted on 07/29/2012

I have no idea what he was doing with them, but if you don't have a little girl and he has a pair of little girl panties in his pocket..... I'd be extremely suspicious of some very inappropriate behavior. Even if it were totally 'innocent'... what rational man is going to stick some little girls dirty panties in his pocket?

I don't have any advice cuz I have no clue what I would do in this situation other than be extremely creeped out.

Kayla - posted on 07/29/2012

No we don't have any kids yet (expecting). I do babysit my neighbor's lil girl who is 7 so they may be hers but they don't look like the ones I usually wash that are hers. She also doesn't usually get them that dirty inside since I showed her how to wipe properly a couple of weeks ago. What do you think he was doing with them? I normally don't even wear panties and they were too small to be mine.

Dove - posted on 07/29/2012

Do you have a daughter? Is it possible that she had an accident and he stuck them in his pocket?

Yeah.... that doesn't sound right even though it was my first thought.

I can say, no...this has never happened to me. I'd be worried too.