Pregnant Teens

Cynthia - posted on 11/07/2011

Hope all the mothers giving their daughters the option of abortion also explain to them their not just a girl who had an abortion your a girl whos lost a child....

Victorya - posted on 11/06/2011

First I would educate my child in Sexual Education. All of it , including condoms and birth control.I would put my daughter on birth control and I would buy my son condoms. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.



If my child came to me saying they where pregnant. I would let them know all of their options. If they decided to keep the baby. I would help anyway that I could. If they decided adoption than I would also support that. Personally, I do not believe in abortion. So, if they decided that, than I'm not sure how I would deal with it.

Starfish - posted on 08/22/2011

I'd be upset. I was 17 when I got pregnant, and it was incredibly difficult to be so young, have a complicated pregnancy, my relationship fell apart, I had to leave college, and move back in with my dad...and I had to take all of that, rebuild my life, and do it all with a kid in tow.

No, I want something more for my daughter. I love her dearly, but my heart would break for the journey that she would have to take in life at that point.

I'd still be supportive, and I'd gladly explain all of her options (including abortion). After all, she's still my child.

To prevent it, I firmly believe honest communication is where it's at. She'll always know she can talk to me about anything, and if she needs contraception, I'm more than happy to oblige. I'll educate her on the risks, statistics, and all of that, and hope that the way I raised her gives her the sense to do everything she can to prevent unwanted pregnancy - at any stage in life.

Tanya - posted on 08/21/2011

Cynthia, if a teen comes to you, pregnant, what good is it to tell them "well, you should have kept it zipped!"


The safer sex/abstinence issue is a completely separate issue from what to do if your teen tells you they are expecting.


And the thing is, teens AREN'T "men and women", they are still kids. We can't just tell them that they shouldn't be having intercourse and expect that to work. My mother made it perfectly clear that having sex before marriage was wrong. Didn't do a darn thing in preventing me from having sex as a teen. Making me feel like I was loved unconditionally, THAT might have stopped me from seeking love through sex....

Cynthia - posted on 08/20/2011

Yes I understand all those rationals but they are rationals. The problem is that no one tells these women they are risking their future 'wanted' children to high risk premature births, to high incidence of early misscarriages, because d & c abortions can and do damage the cervix, leading to an "incompetent" cervix, take a quick survey in of all incompetent cervix misscarriages and you likely find a high number of those women had abortions for whatever reason earlier in their lives.
There is sorrow and there is regret and there is mother nature upset, If a woman does not want a child at a particular time in her life, and if a male doesn't not want to father a child with a particular woman and raise that child with that woman. keep it zipped, there are other ways to enjoy ones sexuality with any kind of intercourse, rising, its time people resorted to those methods that will at least have the benefit of skill acquistion which will benefit a future spouse with whom one will raise a family!
Realistic, pragmatic and no potential human being will lost in the practise, no religious sensiblities offended, no future dreams of individuals halted, no infant left in dust bins and orphanages, foster care etc. these are the concepts ALL men and women should consider before they set out to scratch the itch, satisfy the curiosity, or be overcome by sexual miasma!

Lacieann - posted on 08/18/2011

I'm a long way from there, my SD is only 4 and my Bio daughter is 11 months.



If on of them came to me at 15 or 17 and told me they were pregnant I would probably cry, and freak out. I would also probably end up being excited for a grandbaby. That could change as I still have baby fever myself.



Personally I don't think abortion is an option without a medical reason. Knowing that babies in uturo can possibly feel pain at 8 weeks makes an abortion unthinkable for me. If my child didn't want the baby then I would do my damnedest to have them carry it to term and I would raise it. If my step son got a girl pregnant I would open my home to her and the baby.



I hope to educate my kids about all aspects of sex and that even if they use birth control it's not 100% effective, and by having sex they are saying that they're ready to be a parent. I will provide condoms and other contraceptives for them to use though.

Jennifer - posted on 08/18/2011

I'd cry. then support my daughter or son and my grandchild. I'm more scared my boys will get someone pregnant, than my dsughters getting pregnant. Boys have no say in anything until the child is born, and then it is a legal battle in many cases. Scary stuff..........

My daughter(16) is on bc, the depo shot, so no pills to remember, and she and my youngest son(15) have condoms. My oldest(19) now buys his own. He told me when he started to have sex, and I hope the rest ofmy kids do, too. They know I want them to wait, but I'm also not gonna freak out if they don't!

Cynthia - posted on 08/13/2011

As a parent youre the one giving your kids the options.....if I let my girls know abortion is an option, they may consider that one day...our options are she raises baby with our support or I will raise baby so she can finish school......be a teen...in our culture thats how most families do it....im not letting my girls believe abortion is ok...its a baby sent from God...im not against what others believe or options they give their children...these are mine......ours....most people go by what society believes.....go 2 school....get a degree...marriage...house..... babies...important...yes....but not as important as family and faith in God....

Cynthia - posted on 08/13/2011

As a parent youre the one giving your kids the options.....if I let my girls know abortion is an option, they may consider that one day...our options are she raises baby with our support or I will raise baby so she can finish school......be a teen...in our culture thats how most families do it....im not letting my girls believe abortion is ok...its a baby sent from God...im not against what others believe or options they give their children...these are mine......ours....

Tanya - posted on 08/12/2011

Cynthia, I have a friend who had an abortion because she wasn't ready to be a mother. She had a super supportive mother, a steady and committed boyfriend, close-knit group of friends, a job, etc. She wasn't alone or destitute, but it was really important that she go to university and be married and settled before she had a baby.


She was on BC and using condoms....nobody told her that antibiotics would make the BC ineffective. She was 18, and after a lot of consideration, she made her decision. There isn't just one "type" of woman who has an abortion...

Emma - posted on 08/11/2011

Well i think i would excuse my self and go and scream in to a pillow and rant to my self for a bit before being able to talk rationally with her, would find out what she wanted and talk through all her options. and support her no matter her decision.

Talk with my daughter about all aspects of sex and relationships, From the emotion, the mechanics (how baby's are made not how to do the revers cow girl) and the conciseness.

Cynthia - posted on 08/10/2011

I know its not about me...the way im raising my kids....Abortion is not ok...young girls get abortions cuz they hav no support or family is so strict havin a baby is not an option.......my kids dont hav 2 answer 2 me but 2 God they do........our family structure is a strong one so my kids dont hav 2 feel ashamed or embarassed.....I always tell them the only thing in life u should expect....is to b surprised.....our family wouldnt b as strong as it is if I didnt hold my kids hands thru EVERYTHING.......

Cynthia - posted on 08/10/2011

I know its not about me...the way im raising my kids....Abortion is not ok...young girls get abortions cuz they hav no support or family is so strict havin a baby is not an option.......my kids dont hav 2 answer 2 me but 2 God they do........our family structure is a strong one so my kids dont hav 2 feel ashamed or embarassed.....I always tell them the only thing in life u should expect....is to b surprised.....our family wouldnt b as strong as it is if I didnt hold my kids hands thru EVERYTHING.......

Jennifer - posted on 08/10/2011

I would be very shocked, slightly disappointed but would be 100% supportive of her choice. In order to help prevent it I would make sure she knew about contraception and where she could get it.

Tanya - posted on 08/10/2011

Cynthia, just remember, it's not about YOU, either! I would be heartbroken if I lost a grandchild to abortion, or to adoption, but it would be up to my child to make the decision. What if your daughter WANTED to have an abortion? Would you still hold her hand and tell her you loved her? Or would she be on her own then?

Tanya - posted on 08/10/2011

I would support her, talk to her about her options, and love her.


To prevent teen pregnancy, I plan to have the lines of communication open, be real with my kids about the realities of teen sex, and make sure they have access to birth control.

Alison - posted on 08/10/2011

i would be upset and prob would be mad for a while but id make sure the bf steps up and do what he should do and take care of both of them,but id rather me kid be smart enough to wait until out of school and atleast have a decent job

Jurnee - posted on 08/09/2011

I was very open with my kids(26, 23 and 18) about the reasons, emotiional and physical that should try to abstain from sex, but I also gave them info on birth control. I was a teen mother myself, and they saw the struggle in that, so I believe that was their best birth control. If one of them were to have gotten pregnant or impregnated someone as a teen, or if my youngest son were to when he becomse a teen, I would give them all my support, and help as much as possible. Accidents do happen and becoming a parent young is difficult, but it's not the end of the world.

Amy - posted on 08/09/2011

My husband was the result of a 16 and 17 year old getting pregnant together. His dad did his senior year, worked full time and was a dad. They got married and are still married.

Does that mean if my children get pregnant [or impregnate someone else - hey, i have a son and it could happen] that it'll turn out happily ever after? Not at all.

Although my daughter is only 4 and a half, she and grandma already talked about how hard it was to raise a baby and be so young. So, she's hearing it. Not being drilled in, just open conversations on how it works. She asked us if we got pregnant really young. No, hon. We waited until we got married and then 4 years after that we had her because we were remodeling our house. Mess was no place to raise kids. Constant talking is the best thing I can do to prevent it. Birth control...doens't always work and doens't prevent stds. Not going to lie, probably using scare tactic of "side effects blood clot, stroke, death". Is It really THAT worth it?

I can't say until my kids grow up and I know how they are and how we are to say for sure. I just know I will always love my kids no matter what mistakes they make. because some mistakes turn into the best things of your life.

Cynthia - posted on 08/09/2011

Abortion is NOT an option....thats my grandchild....my blood....family is very important to us....teenager or not my kids would have full support of the whole family.....my girls are only 2 and 7 but my son is 16 and he gets 2 watch his sisters....they drive him crazy....but each time I let him watch them....I tell him 2 pretend their his......they all look alike....but 2 pretend hes a young dad...I have also been talking 2 him the importance of HIS responsibility on sex...not the girls...not 2 depend on her birth control....he says he knows he does not want 2 b a young dad....his lil sisters are crazy and annoying....just remember....its not just about you...ur daughter prob has guilts...fears...shame....15 is very young...more of a reason 2 hold her hand and tell her u love her......

Mary Renee - posted on 08/09/2011

My daughter is going on birth control the second she is sexually active and I will be there reminded her to take it every morning! My daughter, whom I love more than anything on this earth, was a "surprise." I stopped taking the pill because I had a bad reaction and instead of finding a pill that didn't cause me problems I relied on a variety of other methods, none of which were as effective as the pill (obviously)

I don't care if the abstinence only crowd thinks I'm insane, my little baby isn't having a baby of her own before she's ready! Of corse we want them to wait to have sex but if they aren't going to, then we have to be realistic.

If she came to me and told me she was pregnant anyway? I'd have to let her make up her mind about what she wanted to do and I'd support her no matter what.

Jakki - posted on 08/08/2011

I think an abortion would be on the cards.... not that it's something that I'd recommend lightly, but a 15 year old mother??? You just don't need to do that.

Cynthia - posted on 07/28/2011

A non judgemental attitude, and an open door policy. I have three daughters no longer teenagers, I can tell you your attitudes to sex and sexual conduct of teen agers is a primary influence on your children. Another important factor is a good relationship with their fathers and or grandfathers based in respect for them as persons with gifts talents and interests. You should have clear consistant house rules and both you and your children should understand why these rules exist, ie in the house by 9 for ALL teenagers not involved in after school jobs, household chores, and homework, limiting outside social or sports activeties to one per semester, making time for one on one by each and both parents whether its walking the dog together, watching tv together, reading together. Make sure your childs friends spend as much time at your house your child spends at theirs, reinforce with your child that this shows a respect for each childs families, support your child in asserting her choices within friendships and not always giving way to others desires and needs.



Your child needs to understand that the developing body has its own agenda that despite any desire to NOT become involved with anyone sometimes the body has a mind of its own, to recognise that enjoy the sensation but not give in to it, the mind needs to stay in charge until he or she is capable of supportng a chlld in a loving committed relationship.

As parents we need to become loving resources for our children during the teen years as well as being the solid background of routine, rules, and sanctuary as our children work towards full adulthood, They need to know that no matter what when there lives take a turn for the worse whether from their own stupidity, or someone elses selfishness, we will be there for them without judgement while they pick up the pieces of their lives again.

Emphasise BEFORE they hit the highschool hall way as they begin to be interested what sex is that they understand that if they cannot look at the boy or girl they are contemplating the deed with as the father or mother of their children they should keep it zipped no matter how much in lust their bodies are. children deserve two loving parents and life comes with enough crap that causes single parent homes without voluntarily/accidently getting pregnant as a teen ager.

Take the time to sit down and talk to your 12 - 20 years about this listen to them. They are often wiser than you think. An remember when you are about to lose it because your son or daughter is staying out late for the first dance of their teen years, Trust what you have taught, if you love and respect your children as individuals and don't judge them for their youth and naivetiy and inexperience, your teaching will help to keep them safe. Nothing is a hundred percent, if it was life would be extremely boring, and some of the best things in life would never be experienced. good luck with your teen talks..!



Ps non of my five children 3 girls 2 boys had teen pregnancies, none are yet married, and while they practised abstinence as teen agers, they have close relationships with long time friends both male and female. its my hope they will all one day marry and produce a child or so but that is in their hands and not my decision to make. My children are by no means perfect they have made plenty of mistakes and I hope learned from them. Thats all I can ask as a parent.

Amanda - posted on 07/26/2011

I don't really have to say much most of the people here said it all...I would be dissapointed but I would help my little girl (or son if he got someone pregnant) through the situation. I would first have a very open conversation about sex and safety and waiting...teaching them everything they should know and like my parents did with me everything they want to know. I am hoping that my children will be able to come to me for anything especially advice on this subject. I will teach them not to be ashamed of sex or sexuality and to be able to talk about it when ever they feel they need to. hopefully this will not happen to them but if it did then I would help with them and the child as much as possible by letting them finish their education but teaching them that they still have to be the parent.

Kelina - posted on 07/26/2011

i intend to educate my kids not just on sex but on relationships as well and i'm hoping we have a good enough relationship that they can come to me if they need too. if they get pregnant i'll be disappointed, but i'll help them any way i can. There's no use crying over spilt milk. And right now i'm hoping that in the future the media doesn't glamorize teen pregnancy, although my hopes are not high. The thing is that kids don't want to see the hard side of it, they want the pretty baby, the smiles and the giggles. What they don't realize(thanks to media and selective hearing) is how hard it is. I was 19 when i had my son, 20 when i had my daughter, and it's hard despite the fact that i was married and my husband has a steady job. "Life isn't all beer and skittles"thomas hughs

JuLeah - posted on 07/26/2011

Well I have not ever been there. I would like think think I would react with calm words and actions.



All options would be explored.



Much conversation had with ALL parties involved. IF my child wished to keep the baby and raise it ... parenting classes, classes in child development, health ... would be required. She would be hook into community support - play groups, support groups .....



To prevent: education ... not just about how babies are made, but about how babies are NOT made.



So teens have sex, they can be taught many ways to have sex that won't result in a baby. They can be given tools/skills/ equiptment to keep them safe.



She wil be taught how to say no and how to say yes. She will be taught about sexuality, not just sex. About what sex means in a relationship ... I want to be able to have honest conversation with her NO shame as seems to be the American way.



I think too I will have her work in a day care, and not fast food, as her teen employment. Working in a day care made me want to wait on having kids



Then I will hope for the best

April - posted on 07/25/2011

I don't have a daughter, but I do have a son. If he told me he got someone pregnant, I'd do whatever I could to help him. He is only 2 right now, but in the future, I will try to encourage him to at least wait until he is out of high school. I don't expect him to be celibate until marriage, but I do expect him to wait for the right time. I will be stressing the importance of condoms, as well. Hopefully, when I talk to him about it being okay to have sex before marriage, but not while you're in high school, it will be enough. I waited until college and it was only a few years difference and I found out that a lot of kids waited until college too. I hope that will help him make the decision not to have sex in high school too. I think will just keep on talking to him, keep asking him about his life and I will keep sharing my own personal stories (like the fake baby project i had to do in 10th grade! there was a key to make the baby stop crying, but i accidentally broke the key and that doll cried alll night long!)

Montana - posted on 07/25/2011

I would be absolutely devistated if my daughter came to me pregnant as a teen. I had my first at 21 and THAT was too young. Idk what I am gonna do yet seeing as she is only 4 now but its definitely my worst fear!

Toni - posted on 07/25/2011

I intend to ensure that both my son and my daughter are fully educated on sexual education and the dangers that having sex can bring, both mentally and physically. I will discuss with them the importance of ensuring they use a barrier contraception even if the girl (or my daughter) are using another method of birth control such as the pill. I will also ensure that contraception os available for them should they need it.





I would hope that by arming my children with the facts and knowledge of how to have safe sex that I never have to deal with an unplanned premature pregnancy. However, if my child comes to me pregnant (or with their gf pregnant) I will support them in raising the child, although not ideal many people of that age can and do make great parents.