spending time with your children.....

Ashley - posted on 07/02/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have 4 children and I am curious to know from mom's with multiple children how do you get the one on one time with each child or even the family time to make them feel special and let them know that you love them...Like what kind of activities etc....

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Karen - posted on 07/02/2010

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I'm one of 5 kids. I can't honestly remember having one-on-one time with either parent until I was in H.S. I might have from age 3 to age 5 but after that my little sis came along... We were 7 people in a 3 bedroom house, so one-on-one time was nonexistent. I didn't ever feel cheated at the time nor do I now. I did have one-on-one time with my Dad in H.S. because he drove me everywhere but not with my Mom because my GParents were infirm by that time and needed her. I really think you're worrying too much. Kids "get it" and, as long as everyone is treated fairly, they won't feel neglected. In fact, I know and knew how much my folks loved us as they were always there to coach teams, lead scout troops, drive large groups of kids to activities, feed friends between practices when they lived too far to go home, attend recitals/games/campouts/field trips, etc. Heck, the only way that all 5 of us did all the things that we did was by participating in most of the same activities! It's your actions not the specific amounts of individual time that will be remembered.

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[deleted account]

I think the most one on one time i have is in the car. My 11 and 10 year olds have activites three nights a week at different times. So im dropping one off and picking up the other etc. It may be only for 20 minutes or so but its nice just to catch up on whats happened in school today etc. My 3 year old comes out of school 15 minutes earlier than the others so i get that time with him every day. Sometimes too we just turn the tv off and all sit together and chat, we dont have to be alone to have one on one time all the time.

[deleted account]

I have 2 so getting QT time with them one on one just requires having my husband take one while I take the other, and switch...

I think if I had 4 kids I would work it out something like this...

1st wk of month: Mom & 1st born date night while Dad has other 3 M or T, Fam date night W or Th, Dad date night w/#4 Sa or Su, Mom & Dad date night Fr. (pick whatever days work best for your fam? Maybe fam date night on weekend????

2nd wk of month: Mom & #2, Fam, Dad & #3, M&D

3rd wk: Mom & #3, Fam, Dad & #2, M&D

4th wk: Mom & #4, Fam, Dad & #1, M&D

I would probably take things into consideration like if there was a ball game the 3rd wk and #1 would really like to go maybe they could switch their date night w/#2...etc... that way your child who has the interest can still take advantage of that opportunity...

Date nights don't have to be extravagant. Maybe one child is particularly interested in nature, you could go on hikes; visit water resource center, museum... If you have a girl she may want to tea party w/mom? Your youngin, obviously @ 2mos they wouldn't have a WHOLE lot of interests, but I wouldn't want to ignore that child just because of it's age...you could always go somewhere quiet and go & gaw @ them :) Later find a baby class or group???

Sarah - posted on 07/03/2010

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do you have the ability to leave them with someone?
i have only one kid, but Lots of brothers and sister. My dad always tried to give us individual time, even if it was only taking me with him to run errands. In the end, i knew how much he loved me :)

Ashley - posted on 07/02/2010

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Yeah i feel like mine are cheated at times and thats why i am trying to figure out what to do...I dont want them to feel ignored or unwanted..Thank you for the advice..

Ashley - posted on 07/02/2010

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Thank you..My children are 5, 4, 2, and 2 months..The oldest are boys and the baby a girl....

[deleted account]

How old are your children? I have a few good ideas that may help but age would certainly factor in here. I have an 11 year old and 1 year old. While I was pregnant I made a date night with my son. We would go out just the two of us at least once every other week. I would either take him bowling or even just for dinner. I can't imagine how hard it must be with 4. My only suggestion is to focus on what each child enjoys, even if you can't make a date night once a month with each alone you can still make a date night with the whole family involved where the children take turns picking what is for dinner or what activity the family will do for that day. If each child gets to choose once a month and on their birthdays they will feel involved and special. Also try to make time for each child alone once a day even if it is for a brief moment. I am sure they know how much you love them!!!

[deleted account]

I don't. Not really. A lot of help, aren't I?

I do get a lot of time w/ my son when his sisters are at school, but it's almost impossible for me to get one on one w/ either of the girls. I did get to go on a 'date' w/ each of them last December when my mom was visiting. I'd leave the other 2 kids w/ her and take the one out for a fast dinner. That's only been once though and they're 8.5... They are definitely cheated, but I'm doing the best I can.

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