'Strange' parenting quirk

[deleted account] ( 105 moms have responded )

Is there anything in your parenting style that is different, strange or against the norm?
What is it and why do you do it (if you even know)? What reactions have you had (if any)?

For me, I don't use a highchair. Don't even own one. Didn't even consider owning one. I feed my daughter with her either sitting on my lap, or if she's having finger food she just sits on the floor. When she's old enough to get herself in and out of a child sized chair, I will give her her meals at a child sized table. My mum can't seem to fathom this and keeps bringing it up.

That's (one of) my parenting quirk(s). What's yours?

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Rosie - posted on 09/06/2010

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oh sara, that reminded me, i did do something considered "not normal"! i always have thought it was hog wash to not take your babies out when they were newborn. well, i HAD TO as a single mother. i guess i don't really get why people have such cows about that. it's not the child is going to touch anything, or anybody is going to touch him. and if people would try to touch him, they'd have to wash their hands, just like if they came over to my house. that just to much helicopter parenting for me.

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Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2010

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quirky aye. i haven't got a high chair yet and logan is nearly 8 months. he still sits in his bumbo on a kitchen chair. i've never had a schedule even though people insist that it is necessary, he feeds and sleeps and eats whenever and i just feed him when he wakes up so i can go back to sleep instead of trying to train him to sleep through the night which he is apparently supposed to be doing. we also let him sit on the couch with us while we eat dinner. that stuff isn't really quirky i guess.

Angela - posted on 09/09/2010

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lol we're a little "quirky" too....

I have never used a dummy - except when my little one was nil by mouth for 3 days at a week old - but got rid of it as soon as she was allowed to eat again.

I never used a capsule - I have a bad back which curves in all directions and didnt want to risk encouraging that with my babies.

I have never used a bassinet - couldnt see the point when they grow out of them so quick and my cot has a bassinet setting.

Never owned a baby bath - used the kitchen sink which is perfect height then showers and big bath

I have a highchair but often dont use it unless Im doing a eat with you're hands session which usually ends up all over the floor/face/arms etc lol

our pram isnt one of the big 3 wheeler varieties, I wanted one that was light and turned so baby and I could look at each other (encourages speech/socialisation etc because you talk to them more) and my baby has always been really happy and settled (although is facing outward most of the time now)

I have never wrapped my baby due to a family history of SIDS and the association with overheating (although if the next one needs it I'll just leave his/her hands out so he/she can cool down)

I waited to feed solids until 6 months as the latest research suggests and let her try everything - havent found anything she wont eat yet I also never get tied up with "making sure she has enough" she eats what she needs and some days she'll eat hardly anything other days she eats like crazy all day

I never bought a changing table - I just felt it was a waste of money and potentially unsafe when they get older.

I dont get stressed about "she must sleep x amount of time and at a specific time" and then spend hours walking/driving/rocking/feeding to sleep - I just read her tired signs and she fits in with us - although I may have just been really lucky to get a "sleeper" :D, I also leave the curtains open for her naps (good for vitamin D and means she is used to sleeping with light) and have no problem with noise while she sleeps or waking her if we are going out - the noise, light and movement thing works really well for us because the handful of times she has been overtired - pulling out the "big guns" means it doesnt take long to settle her :D

Lol lots of people are amazed at how happy and content our bub is - who knows it might all change when the next one is here... there will be 11 months between! but we are happy so bwah who cares what others think and who cares if we seem to be constantly "against the flow" - it all works amazingly well for us :D

Lisa - posted on 09/07/2010

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I am big about diapers being changed on the changing table as well... if we are home that is where it is done. Especially because my 22 month old is not always keen on staying still long enough. At least with the table he is deterred from trying to get away!

Krystal - posted on 09/07/2010

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i let my 6 month old eat his jar food hile sitting on the couch...we re waiting on getting new furnature lol

Sherri - posted on 09/06/2010

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Now that certainly is a cultural difference typically no pillows here till they move to a big bed and out of the crib.

[deleted account]

I'm in australia and during summer yeah sure it's easy not to have a blanket but i have had 2 winter babies and they sure as hell need them. SO needless to say they have all had blankets oh and they had pillows from the time they could sit alone.

Joanna - posted on 09/06/2010

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I'm in the US and was told no blankets in the bed for the first few months.

[deleted account]

That's interesting Sherri. Maybe I assumed the people who were, were Americans and I was wrong. Either way, some people were told that and I found it interesting because that's not what I heard.

Sherri - posted on 09/06/2010

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No we don't Anika all my kids had blankets and I am certainly in the US.

[deleted account]

It is funny what is considered quirky and what's not. And I find it really interesting the cultural differences even between the English speaking countries. Like, I didn't realise until my baby was quite a few months that other countries (like the US) recommend not giving them blankets when they sleep.

Sally - posted on 09/06/2010

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I didn't know keeping a newborn home for a while was a "quirk". My daughter was born in early December, she went nowhere except the doctor for her monthly check ups for ehr first 3 months. I think babies should learn their own environment before beng exposed to the harsh sounds and lighting of the outside world. Not to mention the germs of the winter flu season. Guess that is just me. And I am not a germ freak. I cannot imagine taking a newborn to a school or store.

Mary - posted on 09/06/2010

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Molly was born at the end of November...my ped did advise me to try to minimize taking her to crowded, INdoor places the first 6 weeks, such as malls (it was the holiday season) or grocery stores at there peak busy times. It made sense - it's the height of flu and RSV season...and stupid germy strangers are drawn like magnets to newborns. Any fever over 102 under the age of 6 weeks is an automatic hospital admission, and a full sepsis workup. It didn't seem worth the risk. Now, that doesn't mean we stayed home, or inside...we just used a little common sense about where we went. I am a HUGE fan of fresh air, and we were out every day walking those dogs.

I did get some odd stares this past winter...Baltimore got hit with 3 blizzards. Now, I didn't take her out when the winds were howling or you couldn't see more than a foot in front of you, but we DID go out and walk the dogs at least a mile every day but for those 3...I bundled her up in her snow suit, put her in that ergo, and off we went! I even did some shoveling with her like that...she loved it! (and other than one ear infection, and one stomach bug we all had, she's not been sick in 22 months)

Sherri - posted on 09/06/2010

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I took my youngest son to my boys elementary school the day he came home from the hospital at 48hrs old, then to my husbands work and then we all went out to dinner that night.
I also bundled them to the hilt if we go out in the winter. Coats/snowsuits, hats, mittens and boots. I also never go out without a coat in the winter even in the car so my kids certainly aren't either. It is very cold till the car warms up.

Rosie - posted on 09/06/2010

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after vinnie was born i tried to take him and grant trick or treating the day i got out of the hospital!! i couldn't very well dissapoint a 4 year old wiht a spongebob costume could i?? now i will admit that i passed out after a couple houses, but that was really MY problem-not my baby's . i'm sure vinnie would've loved to continue if his mommy wasn't in such a state, lol!

Charlie - posted on 09/06/2010

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I went to see everyone at work the next day with Cooper , we walked there , everyone was saying " what are you and baby doing out of bed !! "

I had been in hospital for four days the LAST thing i wanted was to stay in bed :D

Johnny - posted on 09/06/2010

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I'm not sure that it is really current concept that parents have, but from an older generation. It wasn't so much about convenience or exhaustion (like not feeling like leaving the house after having a c-section or something) but about what was considered safe. A few times when my daughter was very little, I got clucked at by old people. Even my mom remembers getting that when she took me out when I was new. I think it might have bee an 1950's thing.

[deleted account]

Heeh, I didn't even realise you're 'supposed' to keep your newborns at home. Maybe that's a cultural thing. It never came up here in New Zealand. I took her to the supermarket, to shops etc (in fact, the first time I took her to a store, I kept putting her down -she was in her car capsule - to browse and I'd accidently wander away because I was so unused to having her! LOL. I'm not a helicopter parent, that's for sure!)

[deleted account]

The beach at 2 weeks is impressive. My girls didn't go to the beach til they were 6 months old. Not because I'm opposed to it in anyway... I just couldn't handle it. ;)

Our pastor's wife didn't take either of her kids out (even to church) til they were 6 weeks old. All 3 of my kids went to church the first time when they were 10 days old. ;) Our girls were even at our church's LARGE Christmas Eve service at 11 days old... and were held by a few different people (only really well known ones). I didn't go anywhere w/ them w/out help since I wasn't strong enough to get their stroller out of our trunk on my own til they were over 6 months old, but as a single mom w/ two 6 year olds and a newborn... my son went EVERYWHERE. ;)

Johnny - posted on 09/06/2010

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My daughter went to the drugstore with us on the way home from the hospital. I was told to rent a breastpump immediately so we had to go to the drugstore on the way home at 11pm. After that, just taking her to the grocery store at midday or out to the park seemed like no big deal in that first week. Honestly, I'm actually always a little perplexed about the concept of keeping babies in the house at all times for the first month. Isn't indoor pollution more intense? Isn't fresh air healthier? I really have yet to understand the concept.

[deleted account]

We took Ethan to the supermarket when he was a couple days old because we had to eat (and hubby had been living off takeaways due to me being in hospital so long) and then Ethan went to a halloween party 2 weeks after he was born, it was great he was the cutest skeleton ever :-D

[deleted account]

Exactly Kati. The first place I brought my daughter was to church when she was exactly a week old. She slept next to me on the pew the entire service. But some people had a problem with that. My family was good with it. My mother in law was the one that drove me. (Heck, she took my husband canoeing when he was 3 weeks old) In response to people that were shocked that I had her at church and I was out of the house a week after a c-section I just said, "We're going to the beach next weekend." Jaws dropped, lol.

Amy - posted on 09/06/2010

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my kids eat whateva we eat really, my son loves tuna pasta bake and on occasions chinese food :) i very rarely use the highchair, my daughter has only just started sitting up but would prefer to be on my lap at lunch time, my son on the other hand loved sitting in his with a snack while i cleaned the kitchen. I never use a change table, i've never evan had a change table, most of the time i changed them on my lap.
umm.....also my 3 year old son loves doin alot of house work with me, i always taught him to pick up his toys when he was finished playing but when i do the house work he joins in and loves it.. mainly filling the washing machine, hoovering, wiping the table/work tops.

[deleted account]

When we eat out we usually bring our daughter too. Once in a while we get my parents to babysit and we go out for a special night (the last time was our anniversary in June). The biggest problem we have with her when we go out is that she is constantly wanting to change seats. Sit by Mama or Daddy? As long as she stays by the table we let her switch seats as often as she wants. (no high chair for her anymore!)

We also brought her to the beach when she was 2 weeks old. I heard so much concern (was going to say criticism) about that because I'd had c-section and she was so young. But we'd already made the plans to go (very good friend) and made arrangements for my mom to stay in the condo with us to help out. I just had to change my plans to take a nice dip in the gulf. So, my husband and I went to the ceremony and left our daughter with my mom for 30 minutes (first time I'd left her). Mom and daughter came with us to the reception, which my daughter slept through. We spent the rest of the weekend relaxing as a family on the balcony, watching the waves. It was nice.

Jess - posted on 09/06/2010

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We eat out a lot, so I get a lot of practise at keeping Ava quiet. I have found that if she is fed and ready for bed by the time we get to dinner she is ready to just sleep. It was easier when she was younger, but even now as a toddler she is very well behaved.

When we were getting off the cruise so many people came up and complimented us on her behaviour, they had seen us around the ship, some had shared tables with us in the restaurant. As long as she has food in front of her, she is a perfect angel !

I think we are just very lucky and have been blessed with a very well behaved toddler !

[deleted account]

I forgto to add that my kids have fairly strict bedtimes when we are at home. Don't get me wrong i'm easy going when we are out and on special occassions but if we are at home for the night and there is nothing on then during winter my kids are in bed at 6.30 - 7pm and during summer its closer to 8pm.

If we eat out then of course our kids eat with us.... they are more like an extension of us and i love to share things like that with them! :)

[deleted account]

Loureen I love doing kids crafts and arts I enjoy them much more than Ethan at the moment. I get so excited when doing them it's a little sad to be honest :-)

[deleted account]

I wish I could get away with Ethan not wearing socks his feet are just so cute but unless it is really hot (which is a rarity because the UK is cold and wet for most of the year) he has to wear socks because he has Raynauds Phenomenon and his hands and feet turn blue if they are not kept warm :-(

[deleted account]

Carolyn, I don't understand why you're making your comments. The whole point of this thread is the strange quirky things you do, that others don't. I'm not expecting people to do things my way. In fact, the point of this was that I knew people weren't. Yes, these are my personal choices. I don't think luck is required.

Johnny - posted on 09/05/2010

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Ah, I remember the lovely days of dining out with baby. Once her colic finished up around 4 months, we could take her anywhere and she'd just sleep right through, it was so lovely. Then she got older and learned to talk. She's still fairly well-behaved, but a toddler is a whole different story when it comes to socialization, lol. No amount of explanation seems to be able to convey the concept of 'using your inside voice'. Now we enjoy dining at the pancake house. I'm sure once she's around 4, we'll be able to enjoy a more pleasant dining experience again. I just wanted to give Jes Lyn fair warning, they don't necessarily stay that sweet & quiet ;-)

Jenny - posted on 09/05/2010

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My style certainly changed from first child to second. Second didn't have a crib, much stroller time or a high chair not those were bad things. I switched to portable booster which worked from 6 months old to this day and travels and camps well. Not to mention it only cost $40 brand new. We feed what we eat but did use organic jarred food to supplement what I didn't make until they could eat food with more texture which would be whatever we were eating.



I ignored all food guidelines for honey and peanuts. I have no food allergies on either side and, after some research, felt it unneccesary.



I have never used a pacifier for either child. I am so not a fan. They are not needed and not wanted at my house.



I'm also Canadian (of course) and would do the add one extra layer over what I was wearing rule for Winters. Summertime is as buck naked as we can get away with cause it's so HOT.



Never used shoes until they could walk and only wear socks in the winter (that includes me too).



Baths about 3 times a week unless neccessary.



We are overall pretty laid back parents and the kids are well behaved. We never changed much in our lifestyle, just added an entourage. Both of my kids went camping around 3 months old on May long weekend and plenty of road trips. My first had to stay in a hostel with us at 3 weeks old on one snowy road trip and did just fine. Kids, including babies, are very adaptable to whatever comes their way.

[deleted account]

I hate walkers i wish my house was set up better because then i may have used a jolly jumper but maybe not having those things was good for my children as my daughter took her 1st unassisted steps right on 7 months and my son was walking at 10 months and i am not a big hand holder when they are learning they can cruise the furniture and let go when they are truly ready.

I have fed jar food but i feel so guilty when it happened. I hate the thought of that much preservatives. So i would 98% of the time make my own food. It also tasted heaps better.

Never used a change table, never even brought one.

Must be in the minority because i have bathed my children every single night from the day they were born. Helps them relax before bed, they all love their baths so much.

Used a dummy with my daughter but not with either of my boys. The boys refused them even though my 2nd boy had really bad colic.

My parents do look after my children but only once in a blue moon. They are my responsiblity no one elses.

Dana, I HATE socks aswell my children only have 2 pairs of socks and they only have those because we have just gone through winter. I hate enclosed shoes but i think thats because we live in such a warm climate here and it feels like our summers go on forever!

Jess - posted on 09/05/2010

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We own and use our high chair, but I have taken the straps off of it. I found it too dangerous to have her strapped in while eating solids. If she is choking I don't want to be waisting time trying to unstrap her. An infant shouldn't be left alone whether strapped in or not, so I haven't had any issues. I stay with her the whole time so I feel that its safe.

The other thing people find strange is that we always take our daughter out to dinner with us. She is so use to it, she just sleeps in her pram. We eat out a lot and only once have we been out without her since she was born a year ago.

We recently took Ava on a cruise holiday and so many people complimented us on how well behaved she was. I looked at other children her age onboard and realised that we are quite strict with her behaviour.

Charlie - posted on 09/05/2010

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Apparently my other quirk is enjoying doing kids activities and not just their reactions ......probably beacuse im a big kid LOL

Carolyn - posted on 09/05/2010

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Anika, I said, it was a personal choice. You choose to do things your way and that's fine, for you. I just choose not to feed them on the floor or allow my kids to lick the floor. Best of luck with your choice.

Krista - posted on 09/05/2010

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Exactly, Sally. I have a fleece-lined bunting-bag type thing that fits in his carseat and buttons around him, so that keeps him plenty cozy in the car. And like you said, for the most part, the only time spent outside is from the car, to wherever we're going. I almost feel bad for these little babies in a heated store wearing these gigantic snowsuits.

Sally - posted on 09/04/2010

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I had to laugh at Krista's post. I am always surprised during the winter at how many clothes kids have on. We go from car to store and I see these kids in giant coats and hats. Mine has on a sweater and leggings. I don't get it. They can't wear the big coats in the carseat, the store is heated. Do they really need all that gear to walk in a parking lot? We have to be outside for an extended period before I am willing to get out the big coat and gloves. I always feel like people are looking at me, not as much now but when she was younger.

Julianne - posted on 09/04/2010

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i left my daughter with my mom for a week when she was 4 months old so i could meet my husband for a military ceremony in flordia. kids werent allowed and i didnt know anyone there that could babysit.

[deleted account]

Oh, I have another good one. Roxanne doesn't wear socks, EVER! Well, not unless she's wearing running shoes. I HATE socks

Krista - posted on 09/04/2010

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I really can't think of anything quirky about my parenting. I use a stroller. I use a highchair (well, right now I use a booster seat because it's easier to clean). I feed Sam jarred baby food once in a blue moon. I use a change table. I guess the only odd thing was that Sam never used a pacifier. He just never took to them. That, and I tended to always dress him lightly. The kid is like a blast furnace and just rarely got cold. So in winter, when everybody else had their babies in big snowsuits, I had Sam in regular pants, warm boots, and just a fleece-lined hoodie sweatshirt over his shirt. Anything more than that and he'd be sweating. But I always felt like a neglectful mom when going through the mall with him so "underdressed" for the weather.

April - posted on 09/04/2010

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dana, it seems like we have a lot of quirky things in common!! zachary has rarely ever missed a bath since he was born. he loves them so much! he has missed here and there...there have been nights when he was so throughly exhausted that it wasn't worth the trouble.

Carolee - posted on 09/04/2010

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Well, I don't generally wear clothes unless we have company or I go out of the house. My usual outfit at home is undies and a bra. My son is totally used to it, and so is my husband, and my daughter will be, too. I used to be a nudist (at home), but decided to wear undies and a bra when I had kids. My kids are always fully clothed, but my husband usually goes without a shirt on (but he always wears long pants).

Johnny - posted on 09/04/2010

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I never dress Michaela in the same thing 2 days in a row. Mostly because it's dirty after the first day. I only change her outfit during the day if it is totally filthy or gets poop on it, or if we're going out to something special & she needs to look presentable. My mom is always buying her new outfits and we have tons of hand-me-downs though, so she has enough clothes to wear something different every 6 hours for a week.

Well, I am also the opposite in terms of baths. Michaela just gets bathed 2-3 times a week. In the evenings when she's had a big poop, I'll wash her butt in the sink. But the full bath only usually twice during a week. She has fairly dry skin & frequent bathing would likely lead to eczema. I'm also secretly obsessed with her beautiful hair & don't want to ruin it by frequent washing, lol.

[deleted account]

I did say it was a quirk....And she's a baby who puts everything in her mouth anyway and seems to like licking the floor. So I don't see any difference...

And I don't think my daughter has enough clothes to change them that often a day! LOL. Sometimes she wears the same clothes for 2 days straight. Hahaha.

Carolyn - posted on 09/04/2010

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That's just a personal choice, I wouldn't serve anything on the floor that's my choice.

[deleted account]

Amy, my babies were never in bed that early, but my girls bedtime from the age of 4.5 up til age 6 was 6:30. ;)

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