The Duggars are at it again

[deleted account] ( 29 moms have responded )

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2...



The Duggars announced this week that they're expecting their 20th child. Even though their last baby, Josie, was born very early and was in the NICU for quite some time before coming home. Thoughts on this?



Honestly, I don't know how they do it. Sometimes I feel like I don't spend enough time with my toddler or my baby because I'm so busy. And pretty much everyday I run out of time to get the things done that I want to get done.



EDITED TO ADD***

They plan to have as many children that God will bless them with, but do you think a line should be drawn at some point? When health of mom and/or baby becomes an issue? If they didn't have the financial resources to continue having children, but still did, would you support their decision then?

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Ary - posted on 11/29/2011

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Oh, and just one more thought. Why would one lose respect for someone for changing their beliefs later in life? I mean, what if you were brought up to believe that one race is better than all the rest? I would think it pretty ignorant and narrow to limit yourself to believing what you always believed just because you've been believing it for so long. If we all did that, we'd still believe that the Earth is flat. I think it is perfectly acceptable, and even desirable, to revise your thinking and beliefs as you grow older and more experienced. But that's just me.

Stifler's - posted on 05/02/2012

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I think they are stupid. The bible says to go forth and multiply and fill the earth... so fuck off we're full. Apparently the bible didn't take into account what would happen when medicine was invented to prevent death in infancy and when we got money and jobs instead of working a farm and bartering to survive.

[deleted account]

Honestly i do not support the Duggars. I am a little bit concerned about overpopulation on planet Earth and it seems like these people are one of the contributing factors!

Ary - posted on 11/29/2011

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Warning: I'm sure my opinion will be extremely unpopular. But I'll divulge anyway ;).

I think these people should give it a rest. I'm not one to care what people do in their private life at all. However, it's obvious to me that It is impossible for 2 parents to have enough time, love and resources to raise 20 kids in the way that is beneficial to their children. I have to agree that it is extremely selfish of them to not consider the later welfare of their children. As a mother, in my opinion, it is my job to make sure my children are loved, nurtured and prepared for life once they reach adulthood. That requires a stable home life and plenty of parental guidance. It is not a stable home environment when a new child is introduced into the family every year. Now, I only have 2 children, but I am also the oldest (by a lot) of 4 children. I know how kids react to a new baby. Some react in obvious ways, and some in not so obvious ways. The point is, all children go through a period of adjustment when a new baby comes home. Imagine a 10 year old having to go through that every year of his/her life. And imagine not being able to have reassurance from their parents that they are still loved just as much, because you have so many other siblings that you just get lost in the mix. And no matter how rosy the Duggars paint the picture, I'm sure that a few of their kids do get lost in the mix. I also don't believe that children should be raising their siblings. My question is, what are the parents trying to prove? That they're better Christians because they keep having kid after kid after kid? Do they know what would happen to this planet if all Christians tried to prove the same point? The world is overpopulated as it is, and I believe that is plain irresponsible to have that many children. What's going to happen when their children have families of 20+ children? Any way you slice it, Michelle and Jim Bob (?) are extremely selfish.

[deleted account]

I had a 29-week preemie who was in the NICU for 34 days after she was born. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I will always have emotional scars from that (even though my daughter is perfectly healthy at 8 now).



I have a lot of trouble supporting a decision like theirs, even though it's none of my business. After what my baby went through and continued to struggle with for the first few years of her life, I would never knowingly enter into a situation that might render the same result. That said, if Mrs. Duggar knows why she had a preemie and is taking precautions against it this time, I'd feel better about her decision for the baby's sake.



But 20 kids??? Come on. I don't know their financial status,but it's hard to believe that they're not getting LOTS of help from the community. Big families need to be self-sustaining. Otherwise, it's time to stop.



As for the "every child is a blessing to them" argument, if that were true, they'd have few enough children to give them individual attention. I don't know what that number is, but you definitely can't do that with 20. Children need to emotionally attach to an adult in order to grow up and feel secure. Siblings don't offer the same maturity and wisdom as parents.

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[deleted account]

Sad news that Michelle lost her baby today at around 20 weeks. Her family thought that she wouldn't be able to have anymore since this pregnancy and Josie were the longest gap they've had between kids. I think 19 kids is a lot and wouldn't do it personally, but this is definitely heartbreaking no matter how many children you have.

Jenna - posted on 12/08/2011

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i personally think that 20 is way more than enough! i have watch a few of their programmes and feel its unfair for the older children to be doing their parents job! i know they are taking each baby as a gift from god, but they have to think about their eldest children! How their eldest son managed to find a girlfriend get married and have his own children is beyond me!

Cyndel - posted on 12/07/2011

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I personally wouldn't do it...but I can understand her and respect her choice...sheesh everyone talks about tolerance, and letting women choose what to do with their own reproductive system without feeling judged...or is that only when said woman is deciding not to have the child instead of wanting baby # 20...sorry if this sounds *itchy...I've had a *itchy day and I'm tired of the one way street tolerance has taken in so many situations.

[deleted account]

It has nothing to do with you or anyone else, how many children someone wants. Do the best in your own home.......I guarantee people comment on the way you are raising your children.... and leave others to do their's. People need to stop being so nosey and judgemental of others, fix yourself first.

Teresa - posted on 12/01/2011

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Oh and BTW the my 7 year old was born 3 months early and i am now 6 months pregnant praying for a full-term baby. So health-wise I am high-risk, but who's to tell me not tog et pregnant?

Teresa - posted on 12/01/2011

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If we waited until we could afford our children then the human species would be extinct. They apprently have a system that works for them and from what I understand they get no government help, not that that is bad. There are enough illegal aliens getting support from our govt ( another whole topic.) If they want that many children and can handle it with God-given grace, then more power to them. AS for me? 2 is enough.

Lindsey - posted on 11/29/2011

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Ary,

I may not agree with everything you said, but I'd just like to say that I 100% agree with your last post. No one should ever be ashamed to change their opinions or belief system. It's so important that we not stagnate, that we grow and learn from our life experiences, and that we make changes in our life (and changes in our opinions and perspectives) based on those experiences. Well said!

Nicole - posted on 11/23/2011

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I think that it's a fantastic thing, if they can handle and love that many children then all the power to them.

Yes, there daughter josie may have been born with complications but every pregnacy and birth is different that could have happened with there first child, would they have let that slow them down and stop them from having more. They have so much love to give there children, so why not? I always thought maybe they could consider adoption, they are bringing so many children into this world without thinking about the little ones with no families or homes? Why not take in some children and get them the love they need in a big family with so many to care for them?

Lindsey - posted on 11/19/2011

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Thanks for your input Sara. I agree with you that perhaps they are not taking the risks into consideration (I've seen the show and have in fact heard her say things along the lines that you have mentioned), and maybe their decision is based on pure faith rather than logic and reason, but at the end of the day I guess we'll never know. We're not privy to their decision making process, or to what they have been told by their doctors.

[deleted account]

That is a good question, Lindsey. I have a friend who's on her second very difficult pregnancy and I do find myself wondering if she'll have more. I don't think she wants to, but if she did I would be very worried about her health and her baby's healthy. So I guess, yes. I would be just as concerned if a couple with one child and the same risk factors wanted to have more.

"I am sure that their doctors have explained to them all of the risks involved. They seem like intelligent, well-read individuals who are capable of taking those risks into consideration."

They are very smart, however, they are not looking at the risks. On their Q&A episode Michelle said something along the lines of she would die for the new baby (as any mother would) and that God is in control. That's fine. That's their choice, but they are definitely not weighing risks. They're just going to keep having kids until something horrible happens to Michelle or she reaches menopause.

Lindsey - posted on 11/17/2011

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I would like to address those people who believe that they shouldn't have any more children, because Josie was born prematurely (from what I recall it was due to pre-eclampsia) and has a lot of health complications as a result. I understand your point of view, but I would like to ask you this. If we were talking about a couple (the same age as Michelle and Jim Bob) who had only one child, born prematurely as Josie was, would you be judging her as harshly for wanting another child? Would you still believe that she shouldn't have more children?

I'm asking this because I'm curious as to whether or not you base your opinion on the fact that this new baby, and Michelle Duggar, may be at risk or on the fact that as far as you are concerned, they already have more than enough children.

I am sure that their doctors have explained to them all of the risks involved. They seem like intelligent, well-read individuals who are capable of taking those risks into consideration. (I could be wrong here, but that is my opinion based on what I have seen on the show). Obviously they have made the decision that becoming pregnant again outweighs the risks. They believe that God is ultimately in control of the outcome, and as long as they are prepared for the consequences, who are we to judge?

Tara - posted on 11/15/2011

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I think it is extremely selfish. On the show it looks as though they have the perfect running family but no one knows what happens behind closed doors.... meaning how much one on one time with mom and dad are each of the kids getting? I doubt very much. I don't agree with siblings raising siblings. I think it's selfish after her last pregnancy. Apparently that little girl is still fighting complications, and the risk is even greater now. I can't understand why you would risk your life and that of your baby?? especially when you have 19 kids to be there for already. I had read some where that she did go on birth control and ended up having a miscarriage and blamed it on the birth control.... however my argument is her body has had enough!! I don't see how it's healthy. Her body has never really had a rest. So if she were to pass away or this 20th baby are you going to tell me that it was in god's plan? seriously.

Christy - posted on 11/14/2011

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Gonna get BASHED for this comment.

It's their lives, they can have 100 children for all I care.

HOWEVER, is it just me or do the husband and wife look like brother and sister? Just saying.......

[deleted account]

Alright, guys. I just need to say that I it's pretty obvious to me that God didn't make their choices. THEY did. THEY chose to have sex. And THEY chose to do that while Mrs. Duggar was in her monthly period of fertility. (Any woman can figure out when her body is fertile if she wants to - everybody has signs.)

Rebekah - posted on 11/12/2011

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I completely agree with JuLeah, "I'd lose respect for them if they switched their belief system now."

They have NOT chosen to have another child. They have, once again, allowed God to give them a child. I'm pretty sure back not too many years ago, everyone had to depend on God to choose their family size... and families were bigger.

Jayce - posted on 11/12/2011

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Like their youngest, my son was born at 25 weeks. He was in hospital for 119 days. I saw a lot in those 119 days, not just what my son went through (and I'm happy to say that he's a happy, healthy 3 yr old with no serious issues related to prematurity) but also what other preemies in the NICU went through. It's scary. It's not something that I could do again.

I wonder if anyone told the Duggars that after having one preemie there's a 40% chance that your next child will be a preemie and that the percentage goes up with each pregnancy? Mrs. Duggar is also getting older which adds to that percentage as well as all those other things that come with age (i.e. birth defects).

Who am I to tell them how many kids to have but maybe it's time to be thankful for the ones you have and call it a day.

Christy - posted on 11/10/2011

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It's fine that they feel the way they do, wanting as many children as God will provide and all. HOWEVER..........

It's time to MAYBE stop and count your blessings for now since the youngest had so many issues, and you already have 19 kids?

Jessie - posted on 11/09/2011

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I try not to judge others but do find myself wondering if being able to financially support your family is enough? A lot of their children are older and don't need them as much and obviously help parent the younger ones but IMO that isn't their job. To help out yes but when I watch the show (and I realize that is such a small picture of their life) it seems like the older ones become more of the parents than the parents themselves. I don't believe they are bad parents and I belive they are following their faith but I also worry that after the last pregnancy that becoming pregnant again might not have been the smartest decision. If anything happened to the mother or baby that would be horrible. In the end I just pray everything goes well for them and that everyone remains happy and healthy.

JuLeah - posted on 11/09/2011

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How can they go aginist their faith now? All their adults lives they have believed God will determin how many kids they have, and now they need to give up that belife?

I'd lose respect for them if they switched their belife system now ....

I do believe if a child is born it is meant to be here ... I don't think God makes mistakes

Denikka - posted on 11/08/2011

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They haven't always been debt free. They did have some when the first few (I believe it was the first 3) were little. But they realized they didn't want to live that way and decided to spend the rest of their lives with no debt.

It's what they want. They aren't hurting anyone, everyone in their family is well looked after. And most importantly, every child is a blessing to them. A precious gift. And that's a LOT more than can be said about a lot of kids in one or two child homes.

[deleted account]

Yes, I've read a lot about how they handle money. Apparently they've always been debt free by buying used items. I'm sure the money from the show is helpful. They have several companies/businesses and wasn't Jim Bob a Congressman or something?

Jennifer - posted on 11/08/2011

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I wouldn't risk it. I'd be scared for the baby, and scared to have something happen to me leaving me unable to care for my other kids. But to each their own I guess, I see nothing that says they are not good parents, and they have the money.

Jane - posted on 11/08/2011

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One way that they do it is with money. They can afford a big house, extra help, and their own family bus. Also, as so often happens in big families, a lot of the one-on-one parenting comes from older siblings, not parents.

Personally, I suspect that Mrs. Duggar has some sort of suicide wish. Baby Josie almost killed her, and now she is even older and higher risk. I wonder how much life insurance Mr. Duggar carries on his wife?

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