Brandi - posted on 01/07/2011 ( 109 moms have responded )
I'm starting this topic mainly because we have major sleep issues going on in our household, but also because I think it's an interesting debate when it doesn't get ugly.
I have an almost eleven month old who does not sleep. She wakes up 4-8 times a night crying. Basically, she stays up all night crying. Nursing her doesn't work. It might quiet her temporarily. Picking her up doesn't work. She wakes up and cries for at least five minutes straight and then goes back to sleep. Two hours later she is awake again. Naps are 35 minutes at best. We've tried a stricter, earlier bedtime routine. We've tried ibuprofen before bed. We've tried gas drops before bed. She has white noise and a Violet puppy that plays music. It started five months ago and at that time, her pedi told me to Ferberize her. My gut said not to do this, but I attempted anyway and HATED it. She cried for about fifteen minutes total and I cried all night. The next morning she was weird and listless and I decided Ferberizing either wasn't for her or it just wasn't the time to do it.
I have done so much reading and internet surfing trying to create some kind of solution and it is so frustrating. There is too much info out there for moms who just want sleep. You have one group of people telling you all babies are magically ready to STTN at six months. That it is okay to let them cry for two to three hours until they puke or are sobbing. Supposedly, none of that is traumatizing to your child. And yet I can't imagine crying for that long and then sleeping well myself as an adult. Go figure. Then you have another group of people telling you to simply go to your baby no matter what, eventually the baby will STTN on their own, co-sleep for as long as the baby wants to (even though I would like to have more children someday and that requires that I have sex), that letting your baby cry for hours could harm them psychologically and affect their day time attitude. Meanwhile being up constantly or every two hours is affecting my daytime parenting. How can you be a good mom when you don't get any sleep and are grouchy?
Anyway, I'm not honestly looking for a debate. I'm in the middle on this one. I used to really judge those who let their child CIO. I thought it was selfish and mean. Now I realize that sometimes parents just get pushed to their limits and need to get sleep and have tried everything else. I still won't let my daughter CIO. I just wish I didn't have a pedi telling me it's my only option and others telling me I just have to spend the next several years never sleeping. Neither of those things is realistic!