Vasectomy, tubal, hysterectomy...

Kathy - posted on 05/23/2010

I'm not certain of the rules in the US, but I would have thought that greater emphasis should be put on your friend's medical problems. A hysterectomy would relieve her of the debilitating pain she has to go through, and also render her unable to have children, but she doesn't want any more, anyway.

She should, in my opinion, see another doctor, and emphasise that she can't cope with the pain any more.

Jennifer - posted on 05/23/2010

I can't really comment because I live in the UK so don't know the rules and regulations in the US. Here we have the NHS and I know there are conditions you must fulfil to get your tubes tied or a vasectomy, but if you pay to go private you can get it done pretty much no questions asked.

April - posted on 05/22/2010

there are legit reasons for the age restrictions on female procedures (hysteretomies are not reversible and let's admit it...we women ARE more prone to changing are minds). however, yes, i do agree that there is a double standard. i do believe that many doctors are, in fact, gender biased.

Rosie - posted on 05/21/2010

it is different for each doctor. she needs to find another one. my neighbors son, who is 23, has 4 kids by 4 different women. he obviously can't figure out condoms so he asked for a vasectomy and they wouldn't give him one. i honestly don't understand why doctors are making personal decisions for our bodies. hell, if someone told me after 4 kids by 4 different people that i couldn't get fixed, i'd be livid. i don't understand it either.

Tanya - posted on 05/21/2010

I think it is b/c some people still view women as baby makers! If a woman says no more baby she probably has a good reason. I am sure that this is the same as any other medical problem. She has given it some thought, done her research, and then make up her mind

Erin - posted on 05/21/2010

Oh, and as far as a vasectomy being reversable, yes they are supposed to be but there is some belief that the longer you are tied that your sperm count will drop below levels that would render you sterile if your reversed it...

And I wouldn't imagine someone opting for a hysterectomy, it was just that she needs one medically for health purposes so why has something that could alleviate her health problems become a moral debate about child bearing and BS when she's DONE! And if we would allow a woman to go through unnecessary pain to be able to have children she has expressed she does not want then WHY ON EARTH do we allow men to go ahead and get a vasectomy w/no regard to age, fertile years, or if they already have children...

Erin - posted on 05/21/2010

That's odd...you can't get a tubal until 30? Is that another "depends on the doctor" thing, because my g/f got a tubal after her 3rd child (4th preg-1 abortion) 2 yrs ago and that would have put her @ 26? She was/is married & he has 1 child too, so they have 4 ttl (he has custody)...

I wonder what these doctors are thinking or if there are any laws or just unwritten codes they go by for this crap?

Was is ok for her because she had 4 kids she was taking care of, was married, and on state assisstance??? hmmm... I wonder.

Amy - posted on 05/21/2010

A friend of mine is in the same situation. She want's to get her tubes tied, but she was told she has to wait till she's 30 (although if she had a c-section I think she could have had one). She's had serious back issues (the same surgery at least 3 times, the last two being right after giving birth). If she got pregnant again she would have such a hard time physically with it. It doesn't make since to me! She was told that anyone in her plan couldn't do them before the female was 30 I guess for liability reasons.

On Wednesday I'll be talking to my midwife about our "options". I'm not willing to go on birth control till I'm 30. 2 kids is all I want, and I hate being pregnant that if for some reason I had to have another kid I would just adopt.

Although I'm hearing more and more women who have had it done, and now want it reversed so they can have kids (even one's who've had 2 or more kids). I think if there's a medical reason, then they should get it. Otherwise I would love to sign a waver saying I won't sew anyone if I change my mind later!

(And my hubby is refusing to get fixed, so I'm going to look into Essure. Honestly I don't want my tubes tied from everything I've heard from others.) Why can't Scotty beam all my eggs out of me??

Jenny - posted on 05/21/2010

That really sucks. My best suggestion would be to keep asking different doctors and hounding them until someone gives in. I have 2 kids and had a tubal at 29. I was asked a handful of questions and they didn't put much pressure on me at all. I told them if I wanted another child I would adopt. Maybe try that route? I gotta say every month when I get my period, I sure wish they'd taken my uterus too though.



It is quite insensitive for them to allow your friend to live with pain that could be taken away. It kinda goes against the Hippocratic Oath does it not?

Jackie - posted on 05/21/2010

I was also going to say the hysterectomy can't be reversed....and is also major abdominal surgery. A vasectomy is not necessarily permanent and a much less invasive procedure.

Erin - posted on 05/21/2010

I suppose I shouldn't have put tubal in there because it actually has nothing to do with my question, but I just felt it was rediculous because it wasn't like she was asking for a hysterectomy to keep from having unwanted children, although she does not want any. She was asking for it to prevent these very painful cysts that are causing her to be in a dibilitating position and financial hardship. She goes through some serious issues when this happens! And her recovery after having it taken care of :( she couldn't lift anything more then 10lbs for some 2 wks...and then she was still not right... it just seems that NOT doing it is more harmful to her then removing it. I just thought it was messed up that what seems like an obvious health concern has become a debate about having kids? What the hell does it have to do with her having kids? She NEEDS the procedure for her health...to her benefit she already has kids and it would seem like a no brainer to give her the procedure that would save her lots of pain!!!

On another note, my sister is taking these pills to help with her rheumatoid arthritis that are essentially meant for cancer patients, its something like chemo? I really don't know, but they are HARSH and its the only thing that helps with her pain...poor thing... Well she should not get pregnant because of those pills, and gawd I would hate to see her quality of life if she couldn't take them :( , she has to petition her doctor to give her an IUD to not get pregnant so she doesn't have an accident on other forms of b/c. She got hit by a truck @ 14 and got the arthritis from the trauma, she is now 21. She's hoping that her medical condition will encourage her doctor to allow her to waive that...this one really confuses me because IUDs are removable & would do a great deal to encourage planned pregnancies...y must u have kids b4 getting 1???

Lady - posted on 05/21/2010

I had the same problem, I'm 33 and have four children but they were still unwilling to let me have my tubes tied because of my age, where as they were willing to give my husband a vacectomy and he is only 4 years older. They said it was something to do with the envasivness of the operation and recovery - plus there is more possible complications with mine that there would be with his - anyway we had made the decission that I was the one who wanted fixed and not him so after seeing an other gyny I'm on the list. It should be about patient choice - as long as they have all the relevent information and are aware of the risks it should be up to the patient what they want not the doctor - they shouldn't be able to tell you you can't have it done incase you want more children later in life it's your decission, if a woman was slightly unsure about whether or not she might want more I very much doubt that she would be going for such a perminant procedure when there are other options avalible. After having four kids I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will never want anymore - and if there was ever a point I felt broody but had had the operation then that would just be tough and something I would have to live with - it's my choice just like this woman. It's also irrisponsable of doctors to deny women thre choice of birth control - tubular litigaton is one of the most effective forms by not letting them get it they may be opening her up to an unwanted pregnancy and then she would either have to have an abortion or a child she really didn't want.

Meghan - posted on 05/20/2010

I don't know if there is truth to this but could it be b/c a vasectomy can be reversed(correct me if I am wrong on that) where as a hysterectomy can't be?

I think if it is a medical issue she should be able to have the hyterctomy regardless of her age b/c as far as I know (which honestly is very little) the issues you have listed can cause woman to not be able to have children.

Stephany - posted on 05/20/2010

I guess it all depends on the doctor and his/her comfort level. I have been pregnant 7 times (lost 5 pregnancies). My doctor agreed to give me a tubal after my second child because he understood my reasoning behind never wanting to be pregnant again. I was 22. Alas, 21 months later I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, which led to a totaly abdominal hysterectomy. Either way, I had a supportive doctor who agreed that I was mature enough to make my own decisions regarding my body.
I do think that anybody, male or female, under age 30 who wants to a vasectomy or a tubal ligation should have to see a therapist or psychiatrist before the operation so they can fully understand the emotional implications. I think that if they pass that hurdle doctors should be willing to perform the operation. I think sometimes people jump at the idea of not needing birth control and then, 10 years down the road, want it reversed. I guess I feel that people should just be aware that these procedures should be viewed as irreversible, and their emotional state regarding the situation should be weighed by a professional third party. JMO.