what are my rights as a grandma to be able to see my grandaughters

Amy - posted on 09/02/2012

In nearly every state there is no set law for grandparents rights. It is pretty much up to the parents to decide when and if you see your grandchildren. And there are very valid reasons for it too. Unfortunately, it doesn't help out grandparents though. The children's ages will play a big part in it as well. If the children are old enough, most court systems will also ask the children what they want. After all, this is about the children and not the adults.

Corinne - posted on 08/26/2012

Kirsty, it's not that easy in England. You have to have had a strong relationship with the child to begin with and be able to prove to a judge that your presence in the childs life will be beneficial, before that judge will allow you to take the parent/s to court. In the case of your brothers girlfriend, it sounds like she was being petty and mean over a split, so I'm glad your Mum was able to get access. But in my case, my husband and I have had over 7 yrs of grief from his Mum, it was a relief when she cut us off. As she has made no attempt to be part of ours or the kids' lives since then, she's not a leg to stand on. It seems to be more of a case by case thing here in England and hope you get a sympathetic judge.

Kirsty - posted on 08/25/2012

in england, you can actually take them to court so that you are able access!! thats what my mom done when my brothers girlfriend stopped her from seeing her grandaughter!! x

Patricia - posted on 08/12/2012

yes i have been through the medation and it is a crock

Kristi - posted on 08/11/2012

Sarah B.--

I accidently rated your post as "funny." I'm on my mobile and I didn't enlarge the screen enough so I touched the wrong word.

Sorry...I think your post is nice and encouraging, not nice and funny! ; )

Michelle - posted on 08/11/2012

Honestly the best way to be to mend the relationship with your daughter and son in law. I don't know whats happened as you havent provided any information but otherwise your grandkids will end up in the middle and someone will end up being resented. Try to fix the relationship you have. If they do things you do not agree with bite your tongue IF that is the problem. They are the parents they have more rights than you do. If you can not manage to fix the relationship then maybe see if they are willing to do councilling with you or something. If all else fails then seek out the law or courts.

Sarah - posted on 08/11/2012

in Australia, parents, grandparents, family members or any other person with a significant roll in the child's life can apply for parenting orders. To do this you need to go through mediation first. If no agreement can be made there, a certificate is issued and you can then take it to the family court. Grandparents are often awarded time with their grandchildren, especially in cases such as yours where you have an established bond. good luck!

Annabelle - posted on 07/31/2012

Some states do have grandparents rights, but to be honest, I don't think that will help your situation. And it will cause more harm than good w/ the kids parents. I love my parents and so do my kids but the truth is they see my kids on my terms end of story that's just the way it is. I know it is crappy but that is life.

Corinne - posted on 07/28/2012

You need to look into grandparents rights for your state. It is unlikely that you will be granted access if the parents are both alive and are not abusing or neglecting the kids. Tread carefully. My Dad has no contact with me or my kids, he physically abused me as a child. My M.I.L cut us off, but is trying to act like the injured party saying we are denying access. If either of these were granted access by the courts, I'd be moving my family sooo far away. Look at your relationship with the parents, if it's not good; they might have a good reason for keeping the kids away.

Amanda - posted on 07/27/2012

I agree with Tah look into grandparents rights in your state. I know in Texas one stipulation is that you have to be able to prove you had a close relationship with the children example they lived with you, but then you might be granted regular visitation.

Dove - posted on 07/26/2012

You know... I was just answering your question when I first posted, but now that I've reread and thought about it... I agree with some of the other posters. If you are fighting with your daughter and son-in-law... perhaps they don't want the children to get stuck in the middle, so are keeping them out of the picture entirely. I certainly can't blame them for that.

My cousin just recently met our grandmother for the first time in her 20 something years of life because my uncle and his wife cut all ties with the woman before their daughter was born. I know my grandma... I don't blame them.

If you want to see your granddaughters and NOT make this situation worse.... don't fight their parents on this. Talk to them about how you can fix your relationship with them... and listen.

Julie - posted on 07/26/2012

I agree wtih Medic and Julie. It sounds like there may be a very good reason they're keeping the kids away. Fix that and you'll likely have a good relationship with them. If you try to go around them and force them to allow you access to the kids it will only cause more harm.
I keep my kids away from certain members of my family because those people are unhealthy for my kids. If they ever tried to undermine my authority in that area and force me to make my kids see them I would pack us all up and move as far away as possible.

Sharon - posted on 07/24/2012

I agree with Medic. You mentioned fighting, that is probably the reason they are keeping the children away from you. As one of the other Mum's said: fix your relationship with your child first and then you may find a relationship with your grandkids will follow.

Patricia - posted on 07/24/2012

keep trying if they care about you and the kids they will come around i have this problem my mother in law can threaten my kids my hubby and i with feeding them to pigging dogs, mounting the heads up on a wall like hunters, shooting my husband her son stabbing me, threats of burning us out dirt in the petrol tank of my car which she did and wrecked the car even though we had it seen to by the mechanic and we live 70klm's from the nearest town saying my 6year old is not even her fathers child and then again with some of my others my 4 year old looks like her poor thing so he is not my husbands in her book telling my husband that the person he idolizes is not his pop that his Nana had an affair and he real pop is the close family friend that still hangs around and upsets his pop a lot and that is just some of the things she has done then tried to get our kids but did not succeed espically when her hubby got inheritance and she got legal aid still even though she had the money to pay for it send them a calm letter explaning how much you love your daughter and grandchildren and you are willing to see the kids in a mutual place where the kids feel comfortable if you are willing to ut in th effort than you must be a good grandparent i think it is sad if the let the precious children miss out on all the extra love help and support from you i desperately wish my children had that just the love i don't expect other people to raise my kids i do and i have 10 my mother can afford i know she can she is to cheap to drive 70 klm's to visit her grandchildren although i make the effort but my sisters daughter is worth it won;t even come to the kids birthdays the kids say don't buy us presents nanny just come to my birthday she does not do either your daughter is s lucky to have you

Taylor - posted on 07/24/2012

Yes tah you are correct some states ~thought not many~ do have grandparents rights.

Lacye - posted on 07/24/2012

In the state of Mississippi, Grandparents can sue for visitation. When hubby and I recently went to see our lawyer, he asked us if we wanted to help hubby's mother get Grandparent's visitation. You will just have to look up what the Grandparent's rights are in your state.

Medic - posted on 07/23/2012

Most likely none. We as parents do not owe our parents any rights to our children.

Julie - posted on 07/21/2012

Unless you can prove your grandchildren are in danger or the parents are unfit/negligent, it is not likely you have any LEGAL rights. It is more of a MORAL obligation of your daughter and son to insure their kids have a healthy relationship with Grandparents. But, If your relationship is not good with your children, it's likely they fear the same for your grandchildren. Fix your relationship with your children FIRST, and the relationship with the grandchildren should follow...all the best

Dove - posted on 07/20/2012

Some states do have grandparents rights, so it's worth looking into.... if you live somewhere that has grandparents rights and want to go to court to fight this. I would imagine if both parents are alive, together, fit parents, and you don't have documented proof that withholding visitation with you is a detriment to the children... you won't have much luck. I could be wrong though as I have no actual knowledge on this subject. ;)

Good luck!!

Kristi - posted on 07/20/2012

From my understanding, grandparents don't have many/if any rights, especially when both parents are alive and when they are both fit. To save yourself some money, I would Google Grandparents Rights in whatever state you live in, as Tah recommended. If what you find out gives you any hope for getting visitation rights, I would make a list of questions for an attorney and seek out a few who specialize in this area. Many of them offer free consultations, call a set up appointments and take your list of questions with you. I do know it is an expensive, uphill battle. I wish you the best of luck, I am sorry you have to go through this!

Tah - posted on 07/19/2012

research the rights of gradparents in your states, some may not have them, since they are the parents or they may not give much, but it's worth a try..