What's your opinion....

Sharon - posted on 06/25/2012

My opinion? It's her business what she does, and in her mind she probably felt she was doing what was best.

Sapphire - posted on 06/24/2012

Like the others said, it is hard to formulate an opinion based on the limited knowledge of what the OP stated. We don;'t know the circumstances of the woman, what she was thinking, the status of their marriage, their financial status, birth control status, the woman's mental health, etc.

And for the record, it is no one else's business what another woman does with her body, and that includes any legal medical procedure.

Mariah - posted on 06/24/2012

I will answer generally as I agree with other posters who address the lack of all the nuanced facts involved in the specific story given. In general I am very against women having abortions without informing the father of the baby. I think the amount of control given to women over a child that is 50% someone elses' simply because that person is male and was not born with a uterus is unfair and is degrading the value of fatherhood and male parenting roles in our society. Should a mother be forced to bring to term a child she doesn't want to carry so that the father who wants it can raise it? Although in some cases I wish this could happen I know it will most likely never gain support. The tragic part is the fathers who would say to these mothers that they would never have to be involved with the child if only the father could be given the chance. A man who desperately wants his unborn child yet has no say in it's life or death can do nothing and I can't imagine the devastation and powerlessness of knowing the child you so desperately want the chance to have is going to be destroyed. I am pro choice as I understand there are many situations in which an abortion is a reasonable or even necessary choice. I understand a woman has rights to her body and what she chooses to do with it, but men were not given this choice, they were not given the option to carry a child in their bodies, so we as women and partners, spouses, and co-parents need to treat with intense respect their rights to their offspring and deeply consider our choices when it comes to creating life with another person. Whether intended or not the man who has created life inside you must put that life in your hands and trust you to fulfill his wishes. These wishes should not be discounted simply because you happened to be born with a uterus and they did not.

Jurnee - posted on 06/24/2012

Wow! Just seems like a terrible relationship to me. I cant really judge her, not knowing if hes abusive, a drug addict and maybe she felt she had no choice? It just seems like an insane decision to make without your husband, you would think since they are married they had some kind of idea about having children or birth control.

Krista - posted on 06/23/2012

I agree with Johnny. The only thing we CAN conclude is that there are obviously some difficult dynamics within the relationship. But other than that, we know absolutely nothing, so without those details, we can't judge.

Johnny - posted on 06/23/2012

Not knowing the whole story, it's hard to comment. I mean, were they using protection that failed? Did he know she didn't want a child? Is he trying to 'make' her do something she doesn't want to do? What is the power balance in their relationship?

I have an acquaintance who has two children by her ex-husband and aborted the third and fourth without his knowledge. He was a violent, controlling man with whom she did not want to have any children with because she wanted to get out of the relationship. When she tried to take birth control, he beat her. Before she could flee, she got pregnant and was too scared to leave. She managed to abort the 3rd and4th while he was at work and later fled to a women's shelter. In the 5 years that the relationship went on, no one knew what he was like. Even to this day, many people don't believe her because he's "such a great guy" (which is obviously why she lives in hiding in another city under an assumed name with police patrols by her house).

So just keep in mind, you've got to have the whole picture to really have any idea. To me, your OP sounds terrible, but since I don't know her, her husband, or their life, I really can not form an opinion. It just makes me sad.

Mandian - posted on 06/21/2012

I don't think it's right for a woman to have an abortion if she is in a relationship with a man that wants kids. If she didn't want a baby, she should have taken the proper measures to make sure she didn't get pregnant. I feel horrible for her husband. She could have given the baby to him to raise.

Sherri - posted on 06/20/2012

I am fine with it. I know someone that did the same. Personally I wouldn't but honestly the only one who has to know is herself, nobody else gets a say as to what she is going to do anyways.

Sharon - posted on 06/20/2012

I seem to have mixed feeling on this one. Although I am prolife, I think I am glad she did that.

Now before anyone beats me with a stick . . .

She was obviously not prepared to become a mother. She knows at some level that there are problems in her marriage. It wouldn't have been fair to bring the child into this.

AND, I consider her ignorant (derogatory) in that she should not have even made it an option!!!
The father should have had equal say. There are too many negatives on this one to even go on!!

WOW!!! Really don't even want to think about this or comment on it, simply because I cannot wrap my mind around the thought process involved (assuming there was one)