What type of sex ed?

Starr - posted on 09/14/2010 ( 213 moms have responded )

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It falls down more than if someone agrees with abortions or sex before marriage. The reality is young kids are having sex and will continue to.
So, are you for abstinence based sex education, contraceptive based education, or leave it out of schools and for the parents to teach sex education?

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User - posted on 09/19/2010

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Before I quit my job this past June to have my daughter, I was a high school biology teacher. Let me share some of my insight on this:
1) I honestly had sophomores in high school who did not know that it only took one sperm to fertilize an egg and create a baby. This came out when we were covering meiosis. This was also the same year that I had 2 pregnant sophomores and a freshman who got pregnant before the end of the school year.
2) The abstinence only sex ed class that was taught at the high school where I taught was completely useless to probably two-thirds of my students who were sexually active. Somehow or another the word got spread around that condoms didn't work so why bother using them at all (this came from the abstinence-only program)? That didn't sit well with me at all, and, needless to say, my 1st period class got set straight on that that day. It irritates me that sex ed. has been pushed over to the health teachers when, as a biology teacher, I am MUCH more qualified to teach it.
3) This past school year, I had 3 pregnant freshmen girls and 3 other freshmen girls who had pregnancy scares (I know because I bought the pregnancy tests for them).
The year before that, I had 2 pregnant freshmen girls. One of them started school 4 months pregnant, the other got pregnant right after school started. I also had one actively trying to get pregnant. She is pregnant now, btw. Her issues go deeper than a lack of information, though.
Literally, everyday I could walk down the hallway and see a new girl who was pregnant that I'd not seen before (my school had 1500 students--it wasn't hard to do). The sad thing is that a lot of these girls were intelligent, beautiful girls who knew better.
So, yes, it is the parent's responsibility to educate their kids about sex, but either it's not being done at all or it's not being done soon enough or it's not being done thoroughly enough. A 14-year-old who is not interested in sex or who hasn't heard much about sex is in the minority. Unfortunately, the HUGE numbers of teen parents isn't just a life issue. It's an academic and social issue. Teenage moms have a much more difficult time completing their high school diplomas and going on to college or trade school--thus, our populace is becoming less educated making them less able to function in the workplace. Many (not all, but many) parents demonstrate to the educational system on a daily basis that they are not capable of teaching sex ed to their own kids.
So, for those of you who don't want the school to teach your kids sex ed, remember that not every parent does and those are the kids who need it the most because they are usually the most at-risk for everything.

Johnny - posted on 09/17/2010

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Um... I hate to bring this up, but since the whole PP bullshit conspiracy has been dragged into this thread... Shannon, do you not show abortion videos to your 5 year old daughter? I find it odd that you would want to shield her from knowing about sex and only share with her one of the worst things that can happen as a result of sex in graphic detail. Are you not concerned that it will scar her to the point that she will never comfortably be able to engage in sex, not even with her husband for the purpose of procreation? It just seems like the most backward ass way of starting sex ed that I've ever heard of.

Krista - posted on 09/15/2010

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I am for comprehensive, fact-based sexual education. There is nothing political or immoral about the bare-bones facts about sex, any more than there is anything political about explaining that the sky is blue.

You can inform a child that some people are gay, without making any sort of moral pronouncement upon it -- if the parents wish to put moral pronouncements upon those facts, that is their prerogative.

As Carol said, "I do think kids should have the value of abstinence (safety, freedom from STD's & pregnancy, being "ready" for it) explained to them clearly. In fact, I think in some sex ed programs it should be far more stressed. However, I do believe that children should also receive a very comprehensive education on all aspects of sexuality and sexual behavior. Starting with body parts and body functioning, including sexual issues, development, masturbation, etc. Moving on to making babies and all aspects of sexual activity. And including the emotional and spiritual aspects of sex. I think information on all types of sexualities, straight, gay, transgender, bisexual should be in there, because all children deserve to learn about themselves, regardless of what their own preferences are. There could never be too much education on the risks of STD's and contraceptive choices. "

To add to that, I think there should be a major segment about sexual pressure and rape, explaining VERY clearly what rape is. This is one section where I DO think moralizing should come into play, and I think that it should be explained clearly to the kids that if a man tries to force himself on an unconsenting woman, that makes him an asshole who deserves a stint in jail and a swift kick in the nuts.

Krista - posted on 10/21/2010

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I agree completely. There is not a thing wrong with encouraging kids to wait to have sex, mainly due to the fact that like it or not, there IS a lot of emotional baggage that comes with having sex, and hopefully with years, would come the maturity to more readily handle that baggage.

Personally, I think sex ed doesn't go far enough, because it leaves out a lot of the emotional and societal issues. I think it should also touch upon relationships, love, self-respect and self-confidence, and the other factors that really determine whether sex is a fulfilling or demeaning experience.

[deleted account]

There is absolutely nothing wrong w/ teaching abstinence.... as long as that isn't ALL you teach....

This conversation has been closed to further comments

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Nataschia - posted on 03/26/2012

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Sex Ed should be taught by the parents it is a very intimate discussion which should be discussed with great detail and open mindedly

The points needed to be discussed

1. What is it an act of affection a beautiful thing it creates life there is nothing wrong with it as long as all parties involved are consenting and to not be forced or to feel pressure

2. What happens semen enters the vagina and penetrates a womans egg then forming an embryo

3. When is it ok that is a difficult question things happen in the heat of the moment I lost my virginity at 13 I have no idea what to say for this one but at 13 I won't condemn my son for having sex which brings me to

4. should the parents know yes I want my kids to know that they can tell me when they start having sex I'd rather know than it be shock

5. What to do to prevent the bad that comes with the good birth control condoms or abstinence

6. And what to do in case of pregnancy I personally think abortion is a way to get out of responsibility I would understand if in a rape case but I feel it's murder adoption I feel you should only give your child to some one who could better care for it and keeping it never throw your teen out they and the baby will need you if your teen ends up with child you need to teach them to be responsible for themselves and the child and how to be a good responsible parent

Communication is a key part of your kids growing up if your open and honest you'll have a better chance of a happier more loving home and kids who turn out to be caring and responsible

6. where it's a private thing in the bedroom

Rebecca - posted on 10/22/2010

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I honestly think that sex-ed should focus more on the dangers of unprotected sex, than abstaining. My first day of freshman orientation at college, we were all shown slides of STDS. We looked at maps that showed the population in our area infected with HIV and the AIDS virus, and that had an effect on me. I lived in a small town in East Texas, and I would have never guess that there would have been that many people with HIV/AIDS. I have since wondered why they never taught those things in public school. I've noticed that some schools do not even teach that there are other kinds of protection besides latex condoms. You would be suprised to find how many kids think that they cannot have protected sex because they have latex allergies. I think that schools have more access to information along those lines than parents do, and they should use it! But I also think that parents have a responsibility to inform their kids (to the best of their ability) about what unsafe sex can lead to.

Rebecca - posted on 10/20/2010

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contraceptive. kids ae going to have sex no matter what. i was shocked that my 5th grade 10yr old niece has already been taught sex-ed. but alot of parents are too uncomfortable to talk to their kids about sex, so leave it in!!!

Barb - posted on 09/21/2010

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It has to start with the parents. The science is for school. And it all differs person to person. My mom's sex ed talk with me at age 12 consisted of "when you are ready to go on the pill, let me know" what?! what pill? a pill for what?! i was raised with 3 older brothers, at age 12, i WAS a boy LOL< for me, they were still rock targets.



Now for my son, at age 4 he was out playing with the neighbor's boys who's mom was sitting on my porch swing with me while we watched them play. He waved me over in that "i need to talk in secret with you mommy" wave. I sat down on the steps with him and he said "did i come from your tummy?" I said "no, you came from a part called the uterus." then i showed him where my tummy was (up by my ribs on the left) and where my uterus is (by my jeans zipper) So he said "do i have a uterus?" and of course i answered "no, only girls have a uterus" Then he asked "when i came out, did I have cottage cheese all over me?" and i answered "when you were born you were the most beautiful person I'd ever seen in my entire life." Then he asked, "can i have a cookie" and i knew our conversation was over.



at 4 he wasn't in school but he was surely getting an education that day on the steps. As was i.



I would rather the school teach him about sex. how to keep himself and his partner safe, i know i have let him know that masturbation is ok and gave him tissues and a trash can and said "from now on, you are washing your own sheets!"



But it's a co operative effort between the parents and the schools. If they don't learn about it in the class room they are going to learn about it from a less educated source and that could prove dangerous for them

Morgan - posted on 09/21/2010

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i beleive they should teach it in school and parents should also teach their children about abstinecnce

[deleted account]

My oh my Jodi! And that op had been posted by someone who was at LEAST 20! That is sad and pathetic, but a great example for why comprehensive sex ed should be mandatory.

I was thinking about this earlier, especially about Starr's attitude that it wasn't an issue for her so might not be an issue for teenagers. For me, comprehensive sex ed is like having home insurance or a civil defence kit in case of natural disaster. Your house may never burn down. You may never be in a hurricane/volcano eruption/flood/earthquake, but does that mean you shouldn't be prepared JUST IN CASE? It's the exact same logic with sex ed and teenagers. They may never come across oral/anal/vaginal sex. It may never be an issue, but just in case, JUST IN CASE it does, wouldn't you rather they were had enough knowledge to say no or do it safely? I know I 100% do.

Kate CP - posted on 09/20/2010

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Jodi: THAT is scary. I mean...really it shouldn't even BE a "method" of birth control. :/

Kate CP - posted on 09/20/2010

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Krista: That's why I think condom dispensers in schools is a good idea.

Jodi - posted on 09/20/2010

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I just find it interesting that when you convert these statistics into teen pregnancy rates, you get the most conservative having the highest teen pregnancy rate in the world:



Teen birth rates, 1996

per 1000 women 15–19



United States - 85.8

Germany - 18.3

Sweden - 25.4



The other countries weren't listed in the study I looked at, but don't you think this is a result of the conservative attitude of the US toward discussing sex and sex education? I am sure if I had time I could come up with all the figures, BUT the US has a teen pregnancy rate that defies belief. Yes, only a correlation, BUT, still of concern enough to say that ALL children should have sex ed in school.

Krista - posted on 09/20/2010

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Sherri, think about how many grown women you know who are embarrassed to buy tampons. How many adolescent girls do you really think have enough self-possession to purchase condoms at a public drug store?

Sherri - posted on 09/20/2010

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It is from I believe 2007 and contraception is very easily obtained for teens. Condoms at any local pharmacy and also you do not need any parent consent to be put on the pill either.

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@Sherri, East and West Germany? When are these stats from? the 1980s? And your other stats-

"Initial sexual intercourse
Percent Of Those Aged 15–17 Who Claim To Be Virgins[3]
Year Boys Girls
1988 50% 63%
1995 57% 62%
2002 69% 70%

The average age of first sexual intercourse in the United States is 17.0 for males and 17.3 for females.[21]Among younger teens, the majority claim to be virgins, and this percentage has risen over time.[23]"

When they say 'sexual intercourse' does that mean vaginal sex only or include anal and oral sex? Did the people surveyed even know the difference? I'm sure there are a lot of teenagers out there, who have been misinformed and don't consider oral/anal as sex. and therefore they won't be picked up on these stats.

And anyway, just because you're conservative doesn't stop teenagers from experimenting, it just encourages them to keep it quiet and be unprotected because they can't easily and discreetly access contraception.

Jenny - posted on 09/20/2010

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I support mandatory sex ed at various levels throughout their schooling. I don't want your kid giving my kid false information because you won't have sexual conversations with them. Overall, parents do a crap job in this department. By all means instill the morality of sex at home but leave the science to the professionals. Comprehensive sex ed is a public health service to the whole community.

[deleted account]

WHAT? Did I read that right? You're saying that teens are waiting LONGER to have sex NOW? Absolutely NOT!

Sherri - posted on 09/20/2010

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Compared to when I was a teenager. Teens are certainly waiting a few years longer, then they were 20 yrs ago.

Krista - posted on 09/20/2010

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That age is actually the norm in ALL comparable developed countries, including Sweden, which according to your stats, is very tolerant of premarital and under-16 sex.

So evidently, attitudes towards premarital sex don't have much bearing on actual incidence of premarital sex.

Sherri - posted on 09/20/2010

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Never said they weren't but I do think they are waiting a little longer it seems 17 tends to be the norm age to have sex which for a lot of kids will be there senior yr in HS. It is being discussed we just opt to wait till a little older than 10yrs old to discuss all the same issues you do with your children.



Initial sexual intercourse

Percent Of Those Aged 15–17 Who Claim To Be Virgins[3]

Year Boys Girls

1988 50% 63%

1995 57% 62%

2002 69% 70%



The average age of first sexual intercourse in the United States is 17.0 for males and 17.3 for females.[21]Among younger teens, the majority claim to be virgins, and this percentage has risen over time.[23]

Krista - posted on 09/20/2010

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To me, that just means you're not talking about it. I don't believe for one second that it doesn't go on. Your views are conservative and you're not willing to talk about these sensitive subjects but that doesn't mean kids aren't having sex.

Exactly. I mean, I'd bet dollars to donuts that a large percentage of people in the US think that porn is wrong. But isn't the US also one of the largest consumers and producers of pornography?

What people SAY is wrong, and what they actually DO, can sometimes be miles apart.

Besides, that survey was of adults, averaging age 46. I'd like to see an identical survey, but with the respondents ranging from ages 15-19. Of COURSE the adults are going to say that premarital sex is wrong, because a lot of them probably have teenagers, and are appalled at the idea of them having sex. But if you asked the kids themselves? I'm guessing you'd see some different stats...

Krista - posted on 09/20/2010

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And my children will know that oral sex and anal sex can cause STD's just as quick if not quicker. But, they will know these things because I feel the time is right and I want to tell them.

And that's fantastic that you plan on doing that.

But there are some parents out there, for whom the time will NEVER be right. There are a lot of parents out there who are not comfortable discussing ANYTHING to do with reproduction, but yet, don't want their kids taking sex ed. So what happens then? You have all these kids out there who are utterly ignorant. You have pre-teen girls who think that they're dying because they're bleeding from the vagina. You have teenage couples who think that you can't get pregnant if he pulls out. And you have adults who think that you can only get AIDS if you're gay.

And there are absolutely no repercussions against those parents who send their kids out so woefully ignorant.

So what to do?

[deleted account]

"See what you can't see to all grasp is some countries, areas of the countries etc are much more sexual conservative." ~ Sherri

To me, that just means you're not talking about it. I don't believe for one second that it doesn't go on. Your views are conservative and you're not willing to talk about these sensitive subjects but that doesn't mean kids aren't having sex.

Sherri - posted on 09/20/2010

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See what you can't see to all grasp is some countries, areas of the countries etc are much more sexual conservative. Sex is not a topic that is openly discussed as you brush your teeth. So depending on the country things are handled much differently and our views themselves significantly differ. Once again another cultural difference. So although we can't seem to understand why we all differ in our opinions about when, how much etc to teach our kids I am betting more than anything it is because we are in different counties and our countries views are different.

INTERNATIONAL SEX SURVEY

Premarital sex was the most accepted of these four types of nonmarital sex. On average, 61% of respondents across 24 countries agreed that premarital sex is not wrong at all. On the other hand, only 7% of respondents across the 24 countries agreed that there is nothing wrong at all with teenagers younger than 16 having sex. The countries most tolerant of both premarital and under 16 sex were East Germany, West Germany, Austria, Sweden and Slovenia. The most sexually conservative country on all four questions was the Philippines. Five other countries considered sexually conservative were the USA, Ireland, Northern Ireland and Poland

Other countries that showed more tolerant attitudes towards extramarital sex and their percentages of both responses (only sometimes or not wrong at all): Bulgaria, 30%, Czech Republic, 30%, Italy, 20%, Hungary, 18% and Germany and Australia, 17%.

To focus on the conservative USA, 1447 people (59% female) of average age nearly 46 years old responded to the questionnaire. Americans were least conservative about premarital sex but not very much so: 29% answered always wrong, 12% almost always wrong, 18% only sometimes wrong and 41% not wrong at all. Only the Philippines was more conservative on this question. Responses towards under 16 sex were 87% always or almost always wrong; towards extramarital sex 94% always or almost always wrong

Starr - posted on 09/20/2010

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"I guess I just don't understand your objections. I would presume that you have an open relationship with your kids. So if they come to you and say that they'll be taking sex ed in school, why not just go over the materials with them afterwards, and if there's anything in there upon which you'd like to make moral pronouncements, you can do so at that time. So your kid can learn in school that oral sex has no risk of pregnancy but CAN transmit things like herpes, and then when he gets home, you can also tell him that it's not a moral act. That way, he's educated about the facts, and also has your moral guidance. Isn't that win-win?"
Oh I could do these things but I don't feel I have to. I don't have to because I don't need someone else to teach my kids. I will tell them when I think they are are ready to hear it. And my children will know that oral sex and anal sex can cause STD's just as quick if not quicker. But, they will know these things because I feel the time is right and I want to tell them.

Krista - posted on 09/20/2010

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Starr, my apologies for blaspheming.

Then again, when I said that, how do you know I was referring to the Christian God? I didn't capitalize it -- I could have been blaspheming Zeus. He's a god too.

Anyhoodle, I digress.

Unfortunately, we can't depend on kids to infer what we're saying and apply it to other things. We really have to spell stuff out for them. So if you say that various STDs can be transmitted via sex, they're going to take it to mean vaginal sex. They will NOT automatically assume that you also mean oral and anal. That's not how their minds work. So in order to teach them properly, you've got to be REALLY specific. And yes, that might involve discussion about sex acts that you (but not everybody) find immoral.

I guess I just don't understand your objections. I would presume that you have an open relationship with your kids. So if they come to you and say that they'll be taking sex ed in school, why not just go over the materials with them afterwards, and if there's anything in there upon which you'd like to make moral pronouncements, you can do so at that time. So your kid can learn in school that oral sex has no risk of pregnancy but CAN transmit things like herpes, and then when he gets home, you can also tell him that it's not a moral act. That way, he's educated about the facts, and also has your moral guidance. Isn't that win-win?

Jodi - posted on 09/20/2010

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Laura, I think that's probably the ONLY time teenagers paid any attention to politics, when their President got a blow job :)

[deleted account]

Your own ex President pretty much said oral wasn't sex. What did Clinton say? "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" and yet we all know they had oral sex. What does that say to teenagers????

Isobel - posted on 09/19/2010

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and when the little bugger that sits behind them in math class tells them that anal isn't really sex...and oral isn't really sex...so you can't really get anything from that??? (and yes...there are people out there who believe that)

how are they to know any different?

Starr - posted on 09/19/2010

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Ladies. Sex, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, they all have the same common word, SEX. So we educate them that a disease.. a SEXUALLY ttransmitted disease comes from SEX. Thats it. If parents(and it might be a really good idea too) want ot educate beyond that, then they should. At home. Not at school. but, this is MO. I have no idea what is being taught now days in sex ed here.

Isobel - posted on 09/19/2010

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I must admit...I am always curious about the immorality of oral and anal sex (between a man and a woman...I know your feelings elsewhere)...but what is the origin of oral and anal sex being morally "wrong"?

serious question, not being a smarty pants, I promise.

[deleted account]

Starr, you can't say, "Well, there's a possibility that they won't need to know, so I just won't tell them just in case". That's the point. You don't know which kids are going to stumble over oral/anal sex and give it a go and which kids are not. So you need to educate THEM ALL. There will be some kids who experiment and fool around regardless of the amount of education they receive. We're not talking about that minority. We're talking about the majority who will take it what they've learned into consideration as long as they've been given the OPPORTUNITY to learn about it in the first place.

Starr - posted on 09/19/2010

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Post another commentOh and my MIL was bought up a strict Catholic and went to Catholic school with nuns and everything and she's a lesbian. It certainly was not because 'a seed was planted'
Yes, A woman who best expalined was a second mother to me was also a very strong Christian woman and is now a lesbian. That is not want I mean about seeds being planted. I'm talking about SEX ED. It can help, or it can blow up in our faces. We don't really know. The SEED Im referring to was the sex ed seed. It's not about sexual preferences.

Jodi - posted on 09/19/2010

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"and let's try to protect our children from STD's."

Which includes discussion about oral and anal sex. Just the facts, doesn't need to be details, but a factual discussion about the transmission of diseases should include this discussion as well.

Starr - posted on 09/19/2010

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"And Starr, I was educated about contraception, masturbations, abortions etc etc and I've never had an STD, I didn't get pregnant til I was 29 and I'm married to a man. Your point is moot."
Well I guess it is moot if it was not taken the way I meant for it to be. "...I was explaining my situation to show that it's not always best to plant the seed. I didnt have the conversation and all turned out great for me. SOme kids do have the conversation and they still end up with std's, and alive and dead babies. So Im just saying, give the well needed facts, but leave out what can be morally wrong. "
There I quoted myself. Im saying it can go either way. It can be for the best to educate or it could be for the worse to educate on sexual issues. This is why IMO it should be left up to the parents, if it is a moral issue. I never said leave it out alltogether. I agree with abstinece and contraceptive based sex ed. But keep it general on subjects that EVERY parent can agree with. Wich is, let's try to prevent unwanted pregnancies, and let's try to protect our children from STD's.

Jodi - posted on 09/19/2010

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Oh, but Laura, that's ok, they will not only figure out about oral and anal sex on their own without us telling them THE FACTS that they exist and are just as disease prone, they will also figure out ont heir own that diseases can also be transmitted that way......ok, so they may learn the hard way, but nothing like a little tough love letting them figure it out for themselves......

Isobel - posted on 09/19/2010

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but...I'm so confused...you think that they should be educated about the ways they can catch diseases...except in the most common ways that people catch diseases? diseases that NEVER go away...like herpes and aids...when you tell them about those diseases should it be mentioned that you can catch them through anal and oral sex???

because if you tell them the other ways that they can catch these diseases and leave these particular ways out, I think their natural response would be to believe that anal and oral are safer, and that you don't get diseases that way.

Jodi - posted on 09/19/2010

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"@Sherri, at the very least I'd want my child to know that masturbation is normal. I'm not saying give them a step by step account of how to achieve it, I'm just saying a quick conversation saying it's normal, everybody does it and if he has questions, to ask. The last thing I'd want is for my child to think she was a freak."

That's exactly what I am referring to. Masturbation was never even mentioned to me when I was a kid. I did have sex ed, it wasn't overly comprehensive, but I did know about a lot (back in the day when HIV wasn't included because it didn't even exist!!). BUT I do wish someone had told me that masturbation was normal, because for a long time I thought there was something wrong with me, and I didn't feel I could talk to anyone. That's all it needs, a quick mention of what it is and that it is normal. I had sexual hang ups for a while because of this. It took some time before I got past those. And obviously now, I am totally ok with it, BUT I do believe the knowledge that pleasuring yourself is acceptable may well mean that there is less of a need to seek a sexual partner without the emotional attachment that we all hope our children will form before they embark on a sexual relationship.

[deleted account]

Oh and my MIL was bought up a strict Catholic and went to Catholic school with nuns and everything and she's a lesbian. It certainly was not because 'a seed was planted' in her head as a child. Quite the opposite really. That kind of comment is actually quite offensive.

[deleted account]

Starr, what you think is morally wrong is not the same as what I think is morally wrong. I think it's morally wrong NOT to educate teenagers about all this stuff. Educating is not the same as endorsing.
And I will say it again. You don't have to be taught about anal/oral sex to end up doing it. Innocent experimentation can easily turn into the not so innocent. I'd rather teenagers were educated and recognised what they were doing so they could stop or at least protect themselves than ignorantly engage in acts with no protection at all.

And I can not believe the stupid things that are illegal in the US. Though I don't know why I'm surprised, it really is still the land of the Puritans isn't it. Illegal to own a dildo?! WHY? Oral sex illegal? WHY? Who is it harming?

And Starr, I was educated about contraception, masturbations, abortions etc etc and I've never had an STD, I didn't get pregnant til I was 29 and I'm married to a man. Your point is moot.

@Sherri, at the very least I'd want my child to know that masturbation is normal. I'm not saying give them a step by step account of how to achieve it, I'm just saying a quick conversation saying it's normal, everybody does it and if he has questions, to ask. The last thing I'd want is for my child to think she was a freak.

Jaime - posted on 09/19/2010

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"You can choose more respectful words to use when you are replying to me or any other lady on here. NOW, you said it right 'JOB as a parent and educate them properly'"

*points eagerly to the blatant finger-wagging, brow beat-down*

I mean, nothing spells out respect more than seething condescension!

Starr - posted on 09/19/2010

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". But I'll be damned if my kid will make bad choices because I didn't do my goddamned JOB as a parent and educate them properly"

First Krista, really?! How disrespectful are you being using G-damned? Aside from myself you know that their are other Christian women on here. You can choose more respectful words to use when you are replying to me or any other lady on here. NOW, you said it right"JOB as a parent and educate them properly"
your words! it's a parents job to educate properly. I know that not all parents do so, so this is why I think that sex ed should be in schools. But, at the same time...I was explaining my situation to show that it's not always best to plant the seed. I didnt have the conversation and all turned out great for me. SOme kids do have the conversation and they still end up with std's, and alive and dead babies. So Im just saying, give the well needed facts, but leave out what can be morally wrong. And as long as we explain sex, diseases will be covered. We do have to go into full detail about situations like anal sex..it's still sex wich can lead to STD's.

Sherri - posted on 09/19/2010

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I don't care if they feel masturbation is pleasurable. I don't care if they do it or don't do it. It just isn't important to me. Teaching them things that will save there lives or the lives of there potential mates or even if it is not life or death but can significantly decrease there health or change there lives forever, Now that is important. Masturbation isn't important. If they choose to do masturbation that is a private thing and it just isn't something that I need to teach them about. They don't have to think it isn't normal and I am not telling them it is or isn't.

Jodi - posted on 09/19/2010

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So correct me if I'm wrong, you don't think masturbation should be pleasurable, and therefore, our children shouldn't believe it is normal and is acceptable? I'm just trying to understand where you are coming from.

Jodi - posted on 09/19/2010

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Sherri, you may be surprised how much masturbation actually relates to the sex life later on. By ignoring it as an issue, it can affect how comfortable we are in our later sex lives. Masturbation can essentially be the road to sexual satisfaction, because it is a way that we learn about our bodies and what satisfies us. Unfortunately, allowing a child to learn about it on their own is likely to teach that it is not something that can be talked about and it is not something that should be enjoyed. Refusing to acknowledge it as part of sex ed speaks volumes. Don't you think we SHOULD enjoy masturbation, and not feel guilty about that pleasure?



I just think it is sad when it is treated like a dirty secret, and our children should recognise that it is a normal thing, and that there is nothing wrong with it. But that's just me.

?? - posted on 09/19/2010

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What bothers me about this whole debate is the "me myself and I" sentiment.



I don't care if YOU are going to teach your child about one thing or another. I do care if you aren't going to teach them about one thing or another.



You might not think that it's necessary for your child to learn about any particular aspect of sex ed - but your child has the right to learn about those things from someone who will present it in an unbiased, factual manner.



Sherri, as much as I disagree with letting your sons learn about masturbation on their own, I honestly believe that you are teaching them about most things - and I am glad to hear that you would be involved enough to go over the information that will be presented and would allow your children to be involved in a sex ed program.



That is what I wish for all parents to do.





Unfortunately - and this is my point - as much as you teach your child about sex and STD's and anal sex or oral sex -- there are A LOT A LOT A LOT of parents that DO NOT.





All children, teenagers, humans are subject to peer pressure and caving into the pressure of wanting to fit in, wanting to feel special, wanting to be 'the cool kid' and overall being put in the position to make a very hard choice that could have very bad consequences.



Not teaching your children about oral sex, anal sex, masturbation and STD's puts them at a higher risk of not having the proper information to make the BEST decision possible for themselves.



You should arm your child with information. So that if or when that situation arises where lil Sally says "Danny, I want to watch you masturbate and then give you oral. Don't worry, it's not sex and it's not bad, but it feels realllllllllllllly good." And you haven't discussed ANY of this with your child... how are they supposed to KNOW it's dangerous? Children don't just automatically know these things. And you might have said "Do not do these things with other people, it's wrong." But we all know, peer pressure, wanting to fit in, wanting to do these things to make others feel good... are deciding factors, more so than "mom said this isn't something I should do."





If lil Danny is educated, he can explain to lil Sally WHY it's not safe to do those things. Danny could help Sally realize that she's putting herself at risk and that she should talk to someone about what she's doing to make sure that she's not sick.



Those are all reasons that *I* will be arming my son with information. So that he can make good decisions, and he can help others make good decisions when they are misinformed, or not informed at all - because mommy and daddy don't think they need to know about that stuff.

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