What would you do? Gay PDA

Jennifer - posted on 08/28/2010

ditto what Kati said

Johnny - posted on 08/24/2010

As Sarah said, religion will inevitably enter almost any debate in which moral issues arise, since some people derive all their moral knowledge from their religious faith. Everyone is welcome to their own religious faith, but no one is exempt from having their moral choices criticized. Some Christians choose to criticize people for being gay, and thus other choose to criticize those Christians for being intolerant. We each have a choice in what we believe, and we can not expect others, particularly on a debate board, to pussy foot around us because our values stem from religion. If one is truly confident of their faith and their beliefs, then having them criticized by non-believers (in their specific ideology, not god in general) should not bother anyone.

If people choose to condemn homosexuality, they are not condemning a choice, they are condemning a person's identity. It is the same as condemning someone for being Chinese or having large bosoms. A large number of people, including very many Christians, think it is unacceptable to criticize someone's person, rather than their beliefs, opinions, and choices. And thus those who choose to condemn homosexuality will continue to find themselves the targets of criticism. Regardless of whether it is religious or other beliefs that lead one to that choice to condemn, no one has to accept or support that belief.

And yes, condemning homosexuality is judging. From the Cambridge dictionary:

Definition

judge verb
/dʒʌdʒ/ v [I or T]

• to form, give or have as an opinion, or to decide about something or someone, especially after thinking carefully

So far, he seems to be handling the job well, but it's really too soon to judge.
It's difficult to judge whether the new system really is an improvement.
The meeting was judged (to have been) a success.
You shouldn't judge by/on appearances alone.
I'm hopeless at judging distance(s) (= guessing how far it is between places).

judging by/from (also to judge by/from)
used to express the reasons why you have a particular opinion

Judging by what he said, I think it's very unlikely that he'll be able to support your application.

I'm fairly certain that stating that homosexuality is a sin falls into that definition, regardless of how one comes to an opinion, whether it is informed by religion, hear-say, etc, commenting on another person's identity and existence as a negative or positive thing is a judgment.

Sarah - posted on 08/24/2010

Well, I guess the reason so many of these debate end up talking about religion is b/c they revolve around morals, and if you're religious then that is were your moral code is coming from. It is interesting that so many things fall across these lines. And I guess CoM doesn't have a lot of moms of other faiths? Or atleast they're not interested in debating- lol!
I am trying to think of a way to say this- i guess it's that if you are religious and you want to teach your child that being gay is a sin, well- that's your business, I disagree, but whatever. If however, you are one of those people who likes to complain that the "gay agenda" is being pushed on you/your kids through media, anti-discrimination policies, etc or you don't just explain to your child what gay is and that it's against the bible, you call it, sick, disgusting, perverted, etc then I have a problem. It's like with the Boy Scouts- they will not allow gay members, and that is hateful- if I have a boy he will not be allowed to join b/c of this policy. And I think it's a fine line and sometimes people don't realize the things that they are saying/doing are offensive to the gay population and the gay friendly population, which is every-growing.
As a bisexual woman, I hear shitty comments about being gay all the time, and it is hurtful to me. When someone says that being gay is against god, or an abomination it's essentially like saying that I am a terrible person. And don't even get me started on the whole gay= pedophile thing. I could preach on my soap box forever.
I guess what I am trying to say is there is a right and a wrong way to teach your kids that being gay is a sin, if that is what you believe. The wrong way ends up breeding more hatred and bigotry.

Starr - posted on 08/24/2010

We should name this group To be or not to be a Christian. Because most of these post have beenheading towards religion. So here is how I see it. First to answer the question. My kids are going to see it at some point nin time so I will just explain it happens. I mean how old are these kids we are talking about? baby girls kiss mommy and boys kiss daddy so unless they are going way too far it really shouldnt be an issue. Second, I think its so funny how the non religious people are always accusing Christians of being judgemental or not thinking for themselves. Just because someone may not agree with homosexuality does not mean they are judging. But it sounds like they are being judged by the non believers. Its not discriminating because you dont find being gay acceptable. Its discriminating if you dont befriend someone only because they are gay or if you don't give someone a job only because they are gay. So whats the big deal anyways because someone has faith and believes in God? It doesnt mean they are going to turn their backs on their children. Some will, some wont.

Rosie - posted on 08/24/2010

and your opinion IS glorious dana!! :)

Jenny - posted on 08/24/2010

Shannon, you better pray one of your kids aren't gay or you could be causing irreversible mental damage to them.

Of course, I'm with everyone who says public groping is not ok but I don't bat an eye at showing of affection between couples.

Chatty - posted on 08/24/2010

I just want to add one more thing....In my glorious opinion, it's one thing to advert their attention or feel uneasy about seeing it but completely different to openly encourage your child to discriminate.

Chatty - posted on 08/24/2010

What do you mean by public displays of affection. I don't appreciate ANY couple groping and slobbering all over each other in a pornographic manner if I were sitting in a restaurant BUT if you're refering to holding hands, or a quick kiss on the lips then no, I wouldn't advert Roxanne's attention. I don't see anything wrong with it no matter what someone's sexual orientation is.

Shannon, sorry to pick on you some more but you said, "my kids would understand". How do you know that? What if they don't? What if the just completely disagree? Is it your way or the highway? I'm trying really hard to understand.

Brittney - posted on 08/24/2010

I truly believe there is a place for God in our lives and tolerance. At least there is in my life. I Choose not to pass judgment and I don't assume I know how God feels about anyone. I'm pretty sure he loves everyone. Everyone sins and if you see it as a sin that's fine. All sins are the same to God weather you tell a lie or you kill someone. I have no problem with what the guys in the video were doing, but the straight couple in the restaurant were just gross! I wouldn't want to be out with my daughter at dinner and have to watch that!

Jessica - posted on 08/24/2010

I was in theatre for alot of years and I have alot of Gay friends, Peyton will grow up knowing that there is nothing wrong or even different, love is love, just no make out sessions in front of the kids, for any couple no matter there sex preference. And Shannon you asked if the chance that going to hell is really worth it? Hell yes! I would rather live a life full of love and acceptance in this life and have my children do the same, then teach them fear and intolerance just so they MIGHT not go to hell. From the sounds of it, IF it exists it's gunna be the happening place. As far as I'm concernd, good christians or not, no one can live up to that book or "god" so we are all going there anyways and besides if "god" wants to condemn and have us treat people like shit for being different, sign me up for hell anyways, I don't want to meet that "god"... but thats just my opinion. :)

Sarah - posted on 08/24/2010

@Shannon- I'm sorry if I seemed a little irritated and I certainly don't mean to belittle your religion. I tend to get overly annoyed with this subject and it has way more to do with my brother than with Christians at-large. LOL
I honestly just have to leave this one alone! See you on another board :)

Krista - posted on 08/24/2010

Supporting my child, and having him know that he is unconditionally loved and accepted for who he is?

I could not do otherwise.

And if there is a god, and he wants to send me to Hell for being a good parent, then so be it.

Besides, out of the bazillions of after-life possibilities out there, I figure that the odds of there actually being a Heaven and Hell are so slim as to be not even worth worrying about. I might as well sit here and worry that after I die, my bodily particles will wind up on some distant planet in the Andromeda Galaxy and used as food for the Snugelflorkens who live there.

It's just as likely to happen.

Shannon - posted on 08/24/2010

Granted.. But what if it IS true.. Is eternity of Hell really worth it all?

Amy - posted on 08/24/2010

ahh ok sorry, as i said im not religious in the slightest, just thought it was one of them...

although i am very glad i chose not to be...i would rather my children be happy and live their lives as they wish rather than live a lie in the name of 'god'

Krista - posted on 08/24/2010

I see that often as well, Carol, and it baffles the heck out of me. How can someone put their faith, which no matter what people say, is NOT proven and very well may be a complete fantasy, over your very real child's well-being?



I just don't get that. The religious could be completely and utterly wrong about their god. For all that we actually, factually KNOW, there very well may not be a god. And yet you have these religious families who would disown their child and tear their family asunder because of something that they THINK might be true? Maybe I'm weird, but the idea of putting religious belief ahead of my own child is just obscene to me.



Unfathomable.

Johnny - posted on 08/24/2010

Well then, I really and truly hope that your children are not gay. I don't like to see anyone go through that kind of pain. I've had friends who are gay and come from very religious families. They now live their lives without those families, and I know it is a unique kind of loneliness. Most of them, with the exception of one, has completely rejected any notion of god because of it.

Shannon - posted on 08/24/2010

"God's Ten Commandment"

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me (worship only the true God)

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image (do not worship "things")

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

5. Honour thy father and thy mother

6. Thou shalt not kill

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery

8. Thou shalt not steal

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor ( do not lie)

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house or thy wife ( do not be envious)



So, no His 10 commandments isn't do not judge. But, yes we are not supposed to judge. That is Gods place only.

Explaining to my children that gay is against God is not judging. For our family it is fact.

Amy - posted on 08/24/2010

I wouldn't have a problem with it, I would explain to my children that they love each other regardless of same sex.. I'm teaching my children not to judge others peoples life choices! as it isn't doing anyone else any harm and after all its their lives.

@ Shannon... I'm not religious in any way but isn't one of the commandment 'I shall not judge' ?? or something like that... yet being homosexual is also a sin and religious people judge them ??? kind off contradicts itself there....

Sarah - posted on 08/22/2010

ugh- I have this issue with my brother, he is super religious and teaches his children that being gay is wrong, meanwhile, my best friend and her partner are Auntie's Jess & Katie. It honestly makes my blood boil that my poor innocent nephews are being taught to hate and discriminate.
That being said, I don't want to see anyone making out, save it for the bedroom. I don't make out in public (unless very drunk, and kids aren't allowed in bars ;) ) but my lo will grow up understanding that all people are different and that it is not our place to judge. Some girls love other girls- no biggee.

Shannon - posted on 08/22/2010

I would explain what just happened & add that it is wrong & against God.. My kids would understand.

Stephany - posted on 08/22/2010

Your post only mentions kissing, not overtly groping one another, therefore I assume in this case you mean they are displaying socially acceptable PDA, not anything pornographic.
In this case, and if my kids asked me why two boys or two girls were kissing, I'd tell them that they must really love each other. I'm raising my kids to see no difference between heterosexual or homosexual relationships. If two people are in love they deserve the implicit benefits that companionship provides, and it's not anyone's place to tell them otherwise. I'd be pissed if a gay or lesbian person approached me and cussed me out for kissing my husband, so I can only assume (and respect) that, seeing as they are also human, would feel the same way.
I'm a strong believer that people are born gay- it's not something they choose for themselves. In this case, how would someone feel if all their children's life they've been making homophobic comments and it ends up their child is gay or lesbian? How would that child grow up to view themselves? No thank you! Regardless of their sexual orientation, I want my children to know that I love, respect, and accept them for who they are- PERIOD!

Sally - posted on 08/21/2010

I would just say some people do that. I Think PDA is wrong for anyone. I would not make a big deal of it. But I would answer any questions. Questions about same sexed relationships are going to come up early from my daughter as she notices everything and I have family members in same sex relationships. I have to be ready. Not all that different than race questions to me. Everyone is different, we all like different things. I don't get it, but I don't really have to.

Carolee - posted on 08/21/2010

I would keep walking by. If my children ask about it, I'd tell them the same thing I would for a straight couple... they love each other, but don't have the tact to keep their PDA's in the non-groping catagory. If it was something that I would have approved of a "hetero" couple doing, it wouldn't be anything new or different. If you're being gross about your PDA (no matter the couple) I'll say something.

Rosie - posted on 08/21/2010

wouldn't care, wouldn't mention it. if my kids asked why 2 boys were kissing i'd simply explain that boys can like boys and girls can like girls. who cares unless they're completely making out hardcore, in which case i'd avert their eyes if they were heterosexual or homosexual.

Lyndsay - posted on 08/21/2010

It depends on the situation. If I happened to be in a kid-friendly area, like a Mcdonalds with a playland where I'd be forced to watch indefinitely, I would tell the people off regardless of their sexes. If I was just walking down the street and saw it in passing, I wouldn't do anything either way.

Toni - posted on 08/21/2010

It makes me uncomfortable when a couple are really going for it and practically eating each others faces in public and groping each other regardless of their sexual orientation. I would avert mine and my son's eyes but IF he questioned it I would explain that those people love each other and are just showing each other that they love each other but we do not need to watch them.

If they were just holding hands, snuggling or giving little kisses etc I wouldn't think anything of it, their doing nothing wrong.

Joanna - posted on 08/20/2010

I don't want to see full-on making-out/groping by ANY couple, regardless of their sexual orientation. If it was full on like that I'd avert my and my child's eyes. But if it's normal affection that all couples show, little kisses, hugs, holding hands, etc, there is nothing wrong with that.

Rita - posted on 08/20/2010

I would avert my childs eyes. I don't think it is behavior that should be displayed by anyone in public. I mean a nice peck on the lips, sure why not but full blown PDA eeww and Im sorry but it is especially eeww FOR ME if they are of the same sex.