Would you let your child skip a year of school?

[deleted account] ( 24 moms have responded )

My husband recently asked me what I would want if my daughter's school suggested we skipped her forward a year. His business partner has just had this happen and it turns out that whilst he thought it was a good idea, his wife was dead against it.

I said it depended on my child's temperament and personality at the time. If she is quite socially outgoing and mature then possibly yes. But if she was shy or immature, then no. My husband agreed. My MIL was skipped ahead and hated it, so she wouldn't let my husband be skipped ahead but then she changed her mind for my BIL and it seemed to work ok for him.

What do you think? Would you skip your child a year ahead at school? Do you think those children are socially disadvantaged or it has no impact?

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[deleted account]

I would not let my son skip a grade because I feel that the schools can teach advanced students in their own year group, which will not disturb their socialisation skills. I was advanced and was treated as such, we had separate lessons (for everything except maths where I suck and needed extra tuition) where the work was equivalent to higher year groups work, so I was always challenged and kept interested in my lessons.

[deleted account]

Yes i would most defiantly..if your kid is ahead it can cause them to become distracted in there class due to being bored of what the already know etc the need to be challenged at there own pace..a class ahead for them is what the need..or if the teacher gave extra clas& homework like reading and written work from the next year to your child whilst the stay in there own year..keeps them challenged and not bored.Also giving them the chance to mature if needed and to also stay with there friends and progress to the next year together.

Jenny - posted on 09/13/2010

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For sure, Teresa, it all depends on the individual. I do agree the social aspect is important, just not as important as the academics (to me). I guess it's all about what the parents and school figure works best for your child.

LaCi - posted on 09/13/2010

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I would absolutely allow my son to skip a year. It's only one year. A kid isn't being extracted from his peer group with that small of an advancement. It may have an impact if they skip several years, prodigies and such, but I see no harm in a single grade level. I think it's much more harmful to keep a kid in a grade level in which they are far more advanced, until they end up getting bored and completely losing interest in school because theres no challenge. Kids need to be excited about school, forcing them to review what they're already capable of will not maintain any enthusiasm.

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Lizzy - posted on 02/17/2012

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I skipped a year of school myself, and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I was always mature for my age, and did work ahead of my age so I had already basically covered the work. When I moved schools at the end of year 4, they put me straight into year 6 as I had already covered the year 5 work. I agree completely with the 'If she is quite socially outgoing and mature then possibly yes. But if she was shy or immature, then no' statement. If my child wanted to skip ahead as they were feeling unchallenged by the work, then I would say absolutely.

Sherri - posted on 09/13/2010

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The one boy I am thinking of was skipped two grades so you have him in the 8th grade w/13 &14yrs old when he is only 11 yrs that is such an enormous difference. What 14yr old wants to hang around w/an 11yr old that isn't a family member.

Starr - posted on 09/13/2010

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I agree Sherri. I don't know if I would let mine skip because like you said the ones in my school who did were misfits. It appears that a maturity level raises as well as a grade level. If one is skipped well then you kinda fall behind socially. It's sad but true.

Sherri - posted on 09/13/2010

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Never there are a couple of children that were skipped ahead in our district and honestly they are social misfits simply because they are so much younger than the other students. They are picked on, have no friends and tend to be lonely and miserable.

[deleted account]

Interesting. I think possibly one of the reasons they do occasionally skip children ahead here is that we are a small country, population wise, and so there aren't that many gifted and talented programmes out there. I do know that you can access extra correspondence work and there are one day a week gifted schools in big areas but on the whole, all you can do, especially for primary aged children is skip them ahead. At high school they do usually have 'streamed' classes which are advanced classes and individual subjects can be taken ahead. I think if you skip a year it's usually the younger children.

For my daughter, as she's born in October, she'd only be 3 months younger than the next youngest child, so that is also a factor. For us, school is equally about the social side of things. If I thought it was 100% about education, I would possibly (though not likely I must admit) consider homeschooling. But I feel school is about socialising and experiencing difference cultures and ideas.

[deleted account]

No, I would find another school for him to receive his education. Most likely, kids that are "skipped forward" are gifted children and don't necessarily need to skip a year but rather need to be educated in a different way to challenge them.

[deleted account]

I have a young child, so I was thinking this was about skipping an early elementary grade. I have a big problem with that, but I would be willing to consider my daughter skipping a grade in high school. The reasoning behind that is that it doesn't matter how "smart" you are (unless you are a pure genius, I'm sure) your brain is still developing in some areas. For example, until a child is about seven, things like logic, conservation and sequencing haven't been fully developed. At age seven, most kids are in 2nd grade. The second grade curriculum includes these concepts. A six year old who had skipped first grade will have trouble with some of these things. So, in the case that my child is advanced (which I'm thinking not, she seems pretty normal) I would opt for a gifted program instead of skipping a grade.

Stephany - posted on 09/13/2010

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@ Laci- I was just saying that, as a parent, I would feel less comfortable sending a 17 year old to college than I would an 18 year old. I want them to be able to go to any college they want- even if it's 2500 miles away. I wouldn't feel comfortable sending an underage 17 year old that far away, but at 18 I would feel that they would at least be responsible for themself. Obviously there's more to it than just age, but that would definitely factor in to the decision for me. And I agree with your argument about boredom, but most schools now offer sub-categories within grade levels- advanced classes, TAG, and other opportunities.
Socially my kids will always be behind, so that's not as much a concern for me. They have to be pushed out of their comfort zones everyday- regardless of what class/grade they are in. It's a decision that each family has to make for themselves, but for us I wouldn't allow my kids to skip a grade.

LaCi - posted on 09/13/2010

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"I'm not sure. I don't think I'd be okay with my child skipping a year, mainly because I wouldn't want him to be the youngest in his class. I would feel more comfortable sending an 18 year old to college than a 17 year old. I know it's just a number, but an 18 year old is a legal adult whereas at 17 they're still a child. "


I would have loved to have skipped a grade, it wasn't an option at my school. There were also no advanced classes. It was boring. My friends were in the grade above me. I graduated at 17 without having to skip a grade. Had they let me I'd have been out at 16 and probably finished college before the age at which I was an adult and decided I didn't feel like going to school anymore, so I'd take a break-during which I got knocked up so theres the wrench in that brilliant adult scheme.

[deleted account]

Funny Jenny, well not funny, but.... I was always the youngest in my class and it WAS a problem for me. I think it's more personality though since I was the extreme opposite of outgoing. Holding me back til I was one of the oldest in the class PROBABLY wouldn't have made much of a difference.... who knows.

I do agree that academics is more important, but you also can't negate the socialization. Kids do need to be able to handle the social pressures and such of their peers. Of which I, admittedly so, can not do. Sure makes it tough trying to teach MY kids how to deal w/ social situations. I'm 25 years older than they are and don't have any better idea than them.

Again... I'm rambling. ;)

Jenny - posted on 09/13/2010

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Yes, I would. When it comes to school, I value the education more than the social interaction. Putting them ahead a year is not likely to traumatize them, I was always the youngest in my class and it was never a big deal. I advanced a few subjects in high school (went from science 9 to Chem 11 and English 10 to AP English 12) and it was the best choice for me.

[deleted account]

My kids... not a chance. Of course, they started K when they were 4.5, so they're already younger than just about every kid (I think there is ONE younger... out of three 4th grade classrooms) in their grade. They are very smart and very outgoing, but no.

So unless my child was already older than most of his/her classmates and extremely outgoing... I'd probably say no regardless.

Stephany - posted on 09/13/2010

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I'm not sure. I don't think I'd be okay with my child skipping a year, mainly because I wouldn't want him to be the youngest in his class. I would feel more comfortable sending an 18 year old to college than a 17 year old. I know it's just a number, but an 18 year old is a legal adult whereas at 17 they're still a child.
Also, I think maturity levels and social skills can be worlds apart with one year difference.
I was involved in talented and gifted (TAG) programs as a child. I always took advanced classes and took every AP my high school offered. However, as a result a lot of the basic, fundamental learning blocks were skipped. I've nearly got a minor in mathematics but I've never been taught how to do long division- we just jumped to geometry. There are good AND BAD things about even TAG programs.

[deleted account]

NO, I wouldn't do it. It doesn't matter how "smart" you are, the brain is still developing in other areas, and a 5 year old (for example) isn't ready for what is expected of them in grade one. If it turns out that my daughter really is advanced and they want to skip her (which I've never heard of here) I'll suggest she gets tested for GT, gifted and talented classes, instead.

Krista - posted on 09/13/2010

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I'm not keen on it. If they're able to take a few advanced classes, or enter into some sort of gifted child program, then I'd be fine with that, though. That's what I did, back when I was all smart 'n' stuff...

Jodi - posted on 09/13/2010

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Personally, I think there is a bit of a danger in doing this. I do think there may be some social disadvantage, maybe not in the immediate future, but perhaps further down the track. As children reach puberty and move into those teenage years, emotional maturity can be a big deal, and a 2 year age gap (and in some cases, that is the age gap it would be) is HUGE.



I think it does depend on the child, but it certainly isn't a decision that should be made lightly and I don't believe it is one which should only be made because of a child's academic abilities.

Erin - posted on 09/13/2010

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This rarely happens here in Australia either. Usually what happens is that the child will enter into an extra accelerated program with other gifted students. This way, the really bright kids are challenged and stimulated, but they are still part of their regular peer group for most of the school week. We also have academically-selective schools (I actually attended one) that caters to the top 10% of students.



I would have no problem with my daughter participatinng in any of these programs for gifted students, but I do think I would probably be very cautious about pushing her forward an entire year. School is about so much more than just academics, and by skipping a grade you are potentially removing them from their friends and placing them in an unfamiliar environment with children at a different stage to them. It would depend greatly on my daughter's overall experience at school, not just whether she was smart enough to cope with the work.

[deleted account]

Generally here in the UK that doesn't happen often, usually what happens instead is that some children once in secondary school (aged 11-16) they can do GCSEs earlier. However, on the other note a lot of children seem to be held back a year - in my year at school there were 4 people who had been held back a year at primary school.

If I was advised that my child was bright enough to skip a year, yes I would agree to it, providing that's what he wanted. If anything it would make my child more socialable because he would have to make new friends of a slightly older age.

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