just need to vent!

Amy - posted on 08/25/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

So I had to work today. I work only 1-2 days a week. My hubby takes care of the kids. WHY???? I worry about them while I am at work. I talk to my hubby and he's drunk. I get home and 2 of my 3 are still awake. at least an hour after their bedtime. WHERE IS DAD??? SLEEPING!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me? my oldest is 7 he has school in the morning. my youngest is 1 (at least he was in bed) they shouldn't have to put themselves to bed and I shouldn't have to worry that my kids are getting taken care of. especialy when its their father of all people.

He called me at work "do you care if I invite my parents for dinner tomorrow?" "No I don't mind" I cleaned the kitchen really good and there is just a few things to pick up and the bathroom to clean I'm thinking. hell NOOOOOO! when I get home my house is trashed. sticky stuff all over the kitchen floor. clothes strung out all over the house. Dishes EVERYWHERE!! HELL I only worked for 6 hours (2pm-8pm). That is just 1 meal he had to feed them. Why are there dishes everywhere I am sure he fed them in frony of the TV if he fed them at all. My son told me they didn't eat dinner. but with the dishes I guess they had something.

I really don't know how much more I can handle. I am at the end. and I am sorry I know things could be a lot worse then they are. He has a job that he actually gets to and I think he is trying. although most of the time I think its just enough trying to get me off his back and leave him alone. He quit chewing tobacco and has been off of that for almost 5 months. I love him. he is a good guy & has a big heart. I just don;t know what to do. I don't want to quit my job I need it just in case. and we need the money. but how do I leave my kids with him? He promised me he wouldn't start drinking until I got home. WHY DO I BELIEVE HIM? my poor babies they deserve better. but if I left would it be better for them? Where would I go? How would I pay for things? How would I survive I have 3 small kids. on the other hand how do I stay and keep exposing them to this? Its not healthy. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

sorry I just really need to vent.