How do you dare to pamper yourself once in awhile?

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Molly - posted on 03/03/2011

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I am horrible about neglecting myself. We are a single income family of 5, just bought our first home, and recently pruchased a 2nd vehicle. I am the one that handles the finances and once the bills are paid and groceries bought there is not a whole lot left over that we don't NEED for other necessities or just savings. However here recently my husband has been forcing me to do for myself by getting me non refundable gift cards to do clothes shopping for me or a spa treatment. I have come to realize that the money is there as long as it is only an occasional splurge here and there. I have truly enjoyed being able to do for myself alittle and it makes me feel better about myself and in turn be a better wife and mama. I still feel a littel guilty sometimes because I can't help but think about the "OTHER THINGS" I could have done with the money but what it boils down to is that mama's as a whole aren't selfish enough sometimes and it is important to reward yourself for the time, money, and effort you put into making the house, husband, and kids happy and healthy.

Jacinta - posted on 03/02/2011

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its important to take time for ur self once in a while i go about once a month and have me time i get my nails done and a spa pedicure. i do this on days that my kids go to daycare it doesnt take all day u still get everything else done but its something for u and u look forward to it and it makes u feel good once there done

Katie - posted on 08/07/2011

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By sitting up late with a movie..Painting my nails. giving myself a massage, taking a long shower, all the things that are hard to do when my son is awake. Devotion time and meditating. It could be brushing my cat, as long as it is un interrupted time alone.

RONNELL - posted on 03/04/2011

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Me time is anytime you take for yourself. Sometime I do get pedi,massage or just reading a book when know one is home. Laying on my couch watching life and all three kids with my hubby. You don't have to spent money to get that quiet time. I go to the gym three days a week for one hour. That is great time to destress myself. But if you don't take care of yourself and take me time. You will not be any good to your family. People make moms feel like taking time for yourself is a bad thing and its not.

Herna - posted on 03/02/2011

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Massages are the BEST! Especially when you've found a masseuse you really like and can go to once in a while. I also love the occasional shopping therapy while the hubby is home with the kid! :)

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Melissa - posted on 08/31/2011

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Today hubby and I treated ourselves for the first time since January! I had a scheduled ultrasound and because of our schedules he hasn't been able to go to ANY with me yet (we're currently 24 weeks) so my brother agreed to sleep over last night so he could stay with the baby this morning, allowing us to go together. After the ultrasound we decided to take advantage of a quiet afternoon and went to Olive Garden for a quiet little lunch just the two of us. Our son (soon our sons) go with us everywhere - Valentine's Day, our anniversaries, birthdays, we include our children in every special occassion because we are a family and we work as a family. We co-sleep, we've worked our schedule so one of us is ALWAYS home with our children so we never use a sitter, there is literally not a moment in any day of any week of any month that our child is not with at least one of us. And that's the way we prefer it, but that doesn't mean that we don't crave SOME alone time every once in a while. It's funny because at lunch today we barely even talked lol, I think we both just enjoyed the quiet! We also got there RIGHT when they opened so we were the first customers there, so it was even extra quiet lol. The next time I "pamper" myself will be in January. I'll no longer be pregnant and I've had plans to go out with a girlfriend to a nice dinner and then out for some drinks. We plan on dressing to the 9's and having an outrageously fantastic time!

Dee - posted on 08/31/2011

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I disappeared... not as in milk carton disappearance, but took back my life! The greatest form of pampering possible. I wrote about it below:

So What Do You Say to MIA?

I've gone missing. Really and truly what-ever-happened-to, you'd-better-return-my-call. bad-PTA-parent MISSING. Last December I was beginning to embark on a new position in my paying job. The job involved some travel, some additional education and a bit more time. I was really was excited to start, and have loved the sense of accomplishment and fulfillment I've gained from the endeavor.

What I didn't realize was that the job would cause me to disappear from my social life, my blogs and even the fun and interesting woman who cuts my hair every six weeks. I am over scheduled. My hair is a hot mess. I am missing in action. And I am not apologizing for it.

After a job, a house, a husband, four kids, three dogs, a cat, two fish and a frog, I am accepting that I am done, and its OK. While in my twenties, I tried to be superwoman and made myself (and everyone around me) stressed out and miserable. All I had to do was to look to Martha Stewart to realize that my options were divorce, jail or a fabulous line of personal crafting supplies. She chose all three. I chose to keep trying to have the parties, the exercise classes, the parent meeting and the fully balanced dinners. Then one day, I grew up.

I realized, I didn't have to do it all. I wasn't Martha, and in that light-bulb moment, I was relieved. I suddenly understood that there would be moments where I couldn't take on one more thing. Moments that I had to just say no, or perhaps not even pick up the phone or sign on to Facebook and say just that. At those times I began to disappear.

I disappeared from the have-to social obligations. Oh yeah, I missed a lot of great things too, but I realized that, unlike the song, sometimes it was too hard to have too much fun. I didn't sort through the 300+ emails that mysteriously would fill my box in a day and a half. I gave myself permission to let the dishes sit in the sink, to use baby powder to fluff up my less than pristine hair and to acknowledge that I wasn't a bad parent if I let someone else volunteer for whatever school event was upcoming. In disappearing, I had the energy to take care of myself, be with my family, focus on my job and be happy being less than perfect.

Disappearing was a good thing. Being missing in action didn't diminish my tour of duty when it came to being a mother, a wife, a daughter and a friend. It allowed me to have some perspective and realize that I wasn't all that vital in the scope of the world. Things proceeded just fine without me. My real friends understood that I just needed time to reflect and take care of me, my family and my new position. The Facebook friends survived as others moved forward to fill their status with exciting events and insights. I learned how large an email box can get without emptying it for 3 months. An social experiment in living in the new world of instant social media gratification without interacting was invigorating.

So I am back now, somewhat. I will probably never return to my previous level of connection, but am content with my decision to drop out for a bit and drop back into my life and the lives of those I love so closely and deeply. I am here, not MIA, but I now will only do that which I can and wish to do.

Martha, take note. I'm glad I did.

Feel free to follow me on my blog http://dcmomsense.blogspot.com

Tara - posted on 08/30/2011

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"Me" time is a myth, LOL. I go to my work Christmas Party in December and my boyfriend takes me out for my birthday in April, thats about it. The rest of the year its kid time, BF time, family time, work time, bed time ........

AMANDA - posted on 08/29/2011

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To a lil shoppong spree n my hair n nails done!!! and of course girl time nothin better than that!!! thanks to my hunny while he watches the kiddos

Emma - posted on 08/29/2011

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when my husband is home i take a long hot shower. he complains (more like picks on my for taking such long showers) but i know what i go through during the week as a SAHM. so that long shower is my reward :D

Nikole - posted on 08/28/2011

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Honestly... I get my husband to watch the kids... lock myself in the bedroom and sleep. lol

Ashley - posted on 08/28/2011

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I have a hard time pampering myself without feeling guilty & selfish. My son is 3 1/2 years old & only now am I realizing that "me" time is very much needed. It`s not so much about being selfish, But more about needing it to stay sane. Lol. Thanks for posting this. All this ideas are really helpful ! (:

Shauna - posted on 08/28/2011

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My husband and I go rent a private hot tub (with free tea and ice water) for an hour. It only costs about 24 bucks for the two of us to get some secluded "us" time to luxuriate our bodies and cuddle and relax. This was also an amazing retreat when my breasts felt like they were being bitten off as my daughter started getting her teeth!

Monie - posted on 08/26/2011

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with a 99p facemask from superdrug or lighting a candle in a boiling hot bath and putting the light off. Other than that washing my hair once a week now lol

Summyr - posted on 08/23/2011

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for being short on cash and not getting "me" time sometimes I demand it by taking a hot bath... I go to the dollar store and get bath crystals, light all the candles (like 20), read at least 3 chapters in a book I have put down (I have 3 right now I am trying to read lol) and when bath time is over I lotion up my whole body and if I have time I'll take all my polish off and do my nails in a "new" color - and I'll do all my hair removal then too lol... hey, it's a pampered life ;) I'll take what I can get!!

Victoria - posted on 08/22/2011

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I set aside "me money" (its a secret from hubby) but i need it because i like to treat myself to whatever I feel like when I get me-time. Wether its a new outfit, new jewelry, mani/pedi...wutever! I think all moms should do that so they dont neglect themselves, which is a recipe for disaster! You have to make yourself happy FIRST, and then those around you will feed off of that energy :) have fun ladies!!

Kelly - posted on 08/18/2011

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i buy myself something here and there but i make sure my kids have what they need first. all of us mom's need to pamper ourselves once in a while it's ok to don't feel guilty. just make sure ur kids have what they need first

Vanesa - posted on 08/16/2011

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I take a day (every blue moon) and splurge on what I want. It could range from a drink from Starbucks to a new pair of shoes. It always includes getting my hands and feet done though.

Marjolaine - posted on 08/14/2011

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i get myself a chocolate bar every once in-awhile i dont really know what its like pamper myself since ive had my son... and now that im expecting number 2 i find it even more highly rare for that chocolate bar but i enjoy every moment of masticating it lol i savour every taste

Michelle - posted on 08/12/2011

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i like to get my nails done and my hair done and my alone time is when i lay out or when i go swimming by myself.

Kristina - posted on 08/12/2011

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When my husband gets home I tell him our son his responsibility for an hour and I take a nice bubble bath with salts and calming music and read my books. Its free and its a great way to relax after dealting with my terrible toddler lol :)

Heather - posted on 08/10/2011

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You have to find time for yourself, even if it is five minutes of sipping almost warm tea. I am horrible about asking for help from anyone... not a good thing! Now that my boys are 5 and 7, I can ask them to play in their rooms or in the backyard for 10 minutes so I can at least sit and relax for that time.

Also, my mom many years ago introduced me to a weekend camp called Camp GetAway. It is in Southern California and an entire weekend of no kids... not easy to swing at all, but it's not too pricey and fun. I loved the camp so much I now help out at it (I don't own it.)
Also, taking evening walks or bike rides is a free way to have time alone. After dinner, when possible, I take a walk or spend time crafting if the boys are cooperative and the hubby is not working. It's not every day, but each time I get to do this, it helps.

Lisa - posted on 08/09/2011

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I HAVE to have my bath time! that is my one way of taking time away from the kids and read a book and soak! It is my favorite thing!!

Jenny - posted on 08/09/2011

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You don't need to have extra money to pamper yourself. There are lots of spa type products (body scrubs/lotions, nail polish, foot scrubs/lotions, face masks, etc) that you can buy at your local drugstore or even grocery store. Don't buy everything at once if you can't afford it, but one thing a month for a few dollars will allow you to give yourself a little something nice for a long time for just a few dollars. I have done this for many years.



I give myself an at home "spa day" with a deep hair conditioning, face mask, foot scrub and body scrub. I love just hanging in my bath robe for a bit with my hair pulled back while I let face mask, foot lotion, body lotion soak in before doing a mani/pedi myself. If you have little ones do it while they are napping, older ones can keep themselves occupied long enough (usually) if you shut the bedroom/bathroom door and pamper yourself. Sometimes I can only manage it once a month, but it feels great and knowing a one time expense can last for 4 treatments or more is awesome! Although going out for these things is nice, it's not in the budget for most of us these days but they are still possible to enjoy at home. :)



Treating yourself to your favorite candy bar or sweet treat WITHOUT buying something for the kids is also fun and not much money :)

Ruth - posted on 08/08/2011

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I like going to a coffee shop and reading. I think that doing little things like this regularly, as well as occasional pampering is good. It helps me to recharge because I need time alone. I think the needs we have before becoming a Mom are still the same after we become a Mom, and it is important for us to recognize this so that we can be refreshed, and in the short term and long term, be good Mom's and human beings : ) My Husband agrees, and encourages me to take a break when I need it : )

Katalina - posted on 03/28/2011

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I have six kids under ten, so finding time to pamper myself is rare - very rare! Somtimes my husband will brave a day of watching all the kids on his own and he lets me treat myself to a little day of pampering. (shopping, mani/pedi.)

Katalina - posted on 03/28/2011

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I have six kids under ten, so finding time to pamper myself is rare - very rare! Somtimes my husband will brave a day of watching all the kids on his own and he lets me treat myself to a little day of pampering. (shopping, mani/pedi.)

Stephanie - posted on 03/28/2011

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I take a bubble bath while either my boyfriend is watching the baby or she is sleeping. Sometimes that means leaving the dishes in the sink, but what's a few more hours.

Julia - posted on 03/25/2011

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Every day I do one little thing for me every day weather its a bubble bath or some reading or computer time.

Amanda - posted on 03/25/2011

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At first, it was just for a couple of hours. Alone time was so necessary to my sanity. When the baby is little and daddy is untested :) you might have to be selective about those pampering sessions. But you have to remember that it is GOOD to let daddy do the work and be totally responsible for the baby for awhile. He needs it as much as you do. And a little at a time will give him good experience while allowing you peace of mind. But eventually you will need to give yourself some real pampering, date nights, and time to be something other than "mommy." Relax, your baby will be fine. Just make sure that you trust the person you leave your children with. And the time that you take for yourself will make you a better mother in the end.

I would like to add to anyone who is concerned about what pampering means: money, massages, manicures, etc are not necessarily pampering. I have a friend who hates to be touched, so those would be torture for her. Pampering can be anything that you do for yourself. Go for a nice long walk. Plan window shopping with a girl friend. Read a good book, have a long hot bath, enjoy some time for yourself or for you and your husband to be together. The time that you take to make yourself feel beautiful and/or relaxed will stay with you and make you feel better in all your relationships (money spent or no).

Jennifer - posted on 03/25/2011

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me time for me consists of my hubby watching our little boy or he is in bed, i get to relax and have bubble bath or letting me sleep in once in awhile (as my boy gets up at 6.30am).

[deleted account]

I'm a single mom so its a bit more complex but i have little splurges and things i find necessary. My daughter is almost 9 so when i get my hair done.. i get hers done by another person at the same time..

i have things around the house like these special bath salts that are very relaxing i suggest karma sutra oceans of the sea.. my gosh so relaxing..

if you can manage to get out.. or have a grandparent babysit get a girls night out even if its once a month! a nice dinner a movie, anything that can take your mind off :)

i love and enjoy reading, and now that my daughter sees me we have quiet time where we both go in our rooms and enjoy our favorite books..

its more about what u enjoy and how you like being pampered then you can go from there!

Teresa - posted on 03/20/2011

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Oh i always pamper myself because if Momma Aint Happy, nobody's happy!!! I use skin care line called Sense by Usana! I love it!

Joy - posted on 03/18/2011

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a simple relaxation is enough. that's how i pamper myself. i also treat myself a nail and hand pedicure once in a while.

Cindy - posted on 03/17/2011

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I was not only a mommy? I was a foster parent, a working mom and wife. We didn't have a lot of money so you have to think wisely to pamper yourself! I tried to take long hot baths and yes that was hard becausd every 2 seconds you had someone knocking at the bathroom door! So no that was not pampering! Join clubs if possible like my husband was on the fife dept for over 26 years, so when my children were younger I join what they called the firecrackers! Wives of the fireman, yes it was work, but for me just getting away from the kids was pampering remember just wanting to talk to adults once in awhile is pampering (with no kids) even if it is only once a month! We had a lot of fundraisers, that helped the firedept and made cookbooks to sell, and so on. But once a year we would do something for us, like go out to eat just us weman... are vote on what we do. That's an example I know a long one lol just try to do some volenteer work, but don't think of ig as work. I hope you go the picture?! :) sorry if my spelling is messed up I have 1 inch fingernails lol

Angie - posted on 03/17/2011

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I make it a point to have a good spa (feet and hand with manicure and pedicure) at least once in 2 weeks and a very relaxing massage once a week. We work had everyday, we deserve to pamper ourselves.

Amomof2miracles0207 - posted on 03/17/2011

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and what if you don't have the extra funds to have it done then what? there are some of us that don't have money readily available to do the things we "want" after the bills are paid and the groceries are bought there isn't anything left over for want's then what?

Nicole - posted on 03/17/2011

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No matter how old the kids get we always seem to put ourselves on the back burner,it's part of being a mom.But in doing so we seem to let ourselves forget that we are also important.Spoil yourself when you can.I just went out and got my nails done,it felt great! Find someone you can leave baby with and enjoy the "you" time

Janice - posted on 03/16/2011

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I love spa treatments! I also, enjoy going to the gym. Oh and spending time with my 2 great friends who are not married not have kids. We all envy each other. :)

Amomof2miracles0207 - posted on 03/16/2011

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The only time I treat myself to something more then just a haircut is when my sister gives me gift certificates for my birthday and Christmas. She usually puts a haircut, pedicure and manicure or haircut, manicure, massage and pedicure. That is the only time I splurge on myself. Otherwise there just isn't any extra money to do any of this.

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