Sad

Elise - posted on 07/12/2011

My husband's friend was shot and killed last october. It hits you very hard and leaves you speechless. This is not the first loss to our freind list,so it gets harder each time. Luckily we can talk to each other and know how each of us feels when he leaves for work. there is not one day where we do not at least talk once or twice during the day(and say "Ilove You"). He is my best friend>

Danielle - posted on 12/03/2009

It is perfectly natural for you to feel sad and afraid. We in law enforcement are a tight knit community. The guys that my hubbie and I work with are like family to us. Not only are you losing a family member but you are also being reminded that life is fragile and your husband is putting his on the line everyday to keep others safe. A lot of people think that as the wife of an officer you know this already and you have somehow prepared yourself for the loss of your spouse long before it happens. In reality no one is ever prepared for that. As the wife of an officer you hear the news and you know the facts but you don't say to yourself well that might be my husband tomorrow. What you do say is that won't happen to my officer. Not my officer. It's one thing when the death of an officer occurs half a country away. Yes we still pray for the family and we feel bad for their loss, but when it happens to an officer within our "family" it not only feels like we have lost a friend and family member but it shatters our mantra of "not my officer". It hits home harder than if you were married to an attorny whose partner passes from a heart attack because you know that if it had been a day later, a shift change sooner, or maybe even an OT shift not filled it might have been your officer. What you're feeling is normal and the only way to really get through it is hold your family close and make sure you say " I love you" every chance you get. Try talking to some of the other wives in your department too, you may be surprised how many of them share your feelings.

Laurel - posted on 04/20/2009

It is never easy to hear about a death or injury in the law enforcement community....it is hard to not feel it personally...definitely a feeling of community....when one hurts, we all hurt, on some level. The majority of my family doesn't understand what it is like to feel this way.....they act as though my husband faces no more danger in his job than anyone else....I suppose you need to live it in order to understand it.....

Candace - posted on 04/13/2009

It will be 8 years this June for me.. My son just turned 4 years old when his father was killed. He was not on duty, but on his way to see my son when he struck a moose on the highway. I live in a small northern town in Ontario, Canada. Where the moose are everywhere. My son is going to be 12 years old in June and he is looking more and more like his father as the days goes by. It is tough.... Everyone told me that things will get better, but i am still waiting... My worries seems to grow daily. My son also has 2 heart problems as well, so my worries are huge.. I just hope that what i am doing for my son is enough.. I am doing my best but feel very guilty at the same time.. I guess i feel very cheated for my son, even though it has almost been 8 years i guess i still have some healing to do myself... My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a loved one. Now all my son wants to be is a police office like his father..... I will be proud of my son whatever he wants to do......

Rebecca - posted on 02/15/2009

Hi Keri,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your husbands co-worker.  I do understand.  Two years ago coming in June an officer that my husband worked with was killed doing an OT speeding enforcement detail.  It was very tragic especially considering that the dept. my husband works for is on the smaller side with only about 400 officers and they don't lose officers like that often at all, unlike larger departments we are next to like Baltimore City, not that that should make it easier.  He left behind a wife who he had been married to less than a year.  Then only blessing was that they didn't have any children yet.  It affected me deeply.  This officer was just leaving for a few hours to go pull some OT to bring in a little extra and never came home. 

Everyday we send our loved ones off to work and even if its not in the for front of our minds the thought that something could happen while at work is there and we have to deal with it.  Its incredibley hard and it takes a very strong woman to be able to do it day in and day out.  People that don't have to do it don't understand, and how could they.  For most, like you said, they chalk it up to part of the risk of the job.  Yes death happens, but doing the job that our husbands do, death comes around a lot more often wether it be a call they go on, or a fellow officer falling too soon.  Our husband put their lives at risk everytime they go to work and unfortunately the only people that will truly understand are those of us that live it daily.  Take this unfortunate death as a reminder to send your husband off to work everytime with a kiss and a smile.  It is definitly a reminder to me.  I forget sometimes and don't send my husband off the way I should.  Stay strong, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and the rest who are affected by the Deputy's death.