to add to the grave shift subject....

Karen - posted on 02/13/2009

yeah i dont recommend a scanner! i couldnt imagine being dispatch either!..i had a hard enough time hangin up one time while we were talking when he said he had to go and threw the phone down and began a chase! The phone didnt hang up and i listened for a while but i forced myself to hang up cus it was killing me listening to him radioing dispatch on his speed and location, etc!

Valerie - posted on 02/12/2009

I used to get quite nervous, since my husband doesn't usually get home til about 3am. I finally had to make the choice to leave my husband in God's more than capable hands, because there is nothing I can do good or bad. It's been a slow process but now I am able to sleep much more peacefully at night. That doesn't mean I don't get a scare here or there when he is exceptionally late. But fortunately my husband has been very good at ducking away to answer if I'm calling, even if its only to say "Busy, I'll call you back".

Bridget - posted on 02/01/2009

I think it's completely normal to get that sick feeling.  Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat thinking something happened or wondering where he is. I think it's worse because I'm a dispatcher for the same dept he works at so I know all the things that can go wrong. I try to stay positive though & tell myself that someone would call or be at my house right away if anything ever happened. I usually try to distract myself with t.v. shows or I'll get up & start picking up around the house, even if it's 4 a.m.! Oh, & believe me ladies, whatever you do, do NOT get a scanner. You will never sleep peacefully again if you know what really goes on out there. Take my word for it! Trust that they are trained & that God is watching over them.

Audrey - posted on 01/20/2009

I go thru this often and I don't think its any different when they work days...at least its not for me...I was very happy to find this group because I go thru very extreme anxiety over my husbands job and being pregnant...well, THAT intensifies EVERYTHING, LOL!!!

Janelle - posted on 01/12/2009

All the time. There have been several times when it has been work related, but in my case he is normally just talking. Thankfully we are a small area and we are very close with several other officers ( one is his best friend) and I have been reassured if anything happens that I need to know about he will be the first one to call me, or find me. I don't know that you ever get used to it, you just learn to deal with it.

Karen - posted on 01/10/2009

Mine is the Police Chief in our town so he gets called out all the time..Yes it is nerve racking for sure when you havent heard from them after when you expected them. especially when he goes running out without saying what he is running to!..i know i pray for all families of police officers..not just our family..oh i was on the phone when he started a pursuit and he must have thought he hung up but he threw his phone onto the seat so i could still hear him...i kept telling myself to hang up but i listened for a little while but it was making me too nervous! Im better off not knowing what is going on!!

Kelli - posted on 01/09/2009

YES! I do know how you feel. My husband worked that shift for 4 years when our kids were babies and when he gets held over Yes worst part is when he did not answer the phone. I even had Police knock on my door at night before THAT I have to say is THE worst feeling EVER..

Naomi - posted on 01/09/2009

The 1st two years of marriage I slept with a scanner on so I would know if anything bad happen I would know right away. That just made things worse and drove me crazy plus I drove my hubby crazy calling non stop.lol But after putting the scanner up in the closet I relaxed over the six years. And then I had a really bad scare....

Back a couple years ago my hubby was at work and I could not sleep so I was watching tv hoping I would doze off. Well the news came on and reported that a officer was shot and was in critical condition the officer was being rushed to the hospitial that was all they knew and was not relessing any names at that time!!! My cellphone started ringing it was my mother. I told her I would call her back as soon as I got ahold of Ray Or knew something. As soon as I hung upthe phone rang again My bestfriend was yelling into the phone asking was he ok. I just hung up on her  and with shaky hands I called My husband he picked up on the 1st ring THANK GOD! I had never been more thankful for anyting in my life to hear him say " baby i'm ok I love you". Then as he filled me in on what happened to his fellow officer my heart was filled back with sorrow and pain for the officer that didn't get the chance to talk to his wife and kids again. Everytime my husband go's in to work I kiss him goodbye and tell him to be careful and after I hear his car pull out of the driveway me and my daughter says a pray for his safety and for him to return home each morning. I think that has helped alot to calm my nerves and that this job is what he was born to do he loves it and I have peace knowing that this is the job he plans to have. I still call and tx msg him a good bit to check on him I dunno what I would do without my cell. 

Suzi - posted on 01/08/2009

Once when we were first married and I was pregnant w/the first, he was supposed to be home by midnight and it was when he was a rookie and he didn't have a car yet so he was driving his own veh. I woke up at 3am and he wasn't there. I got the keys and was headed out to make sure he wasn't in a ditch somplace and as I was racing down the stairs ( in my p.j.'s) he came through the door. I was crying so hard that he promised that he would call me from then on if he was gonna be that late.  It was pre cell phones when that happened, but  since then, and after we had cells (thank God for cell phones)he has always managed to find a way to call me no matter what shift he was on, 4 kids and going on 23years later.

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2009

Very normal...so glad my husband is on first shift now.  That may change soon however.  But I do get that feeling often since he is on the Tact Team and gets called out often in the middle of the night, for God only knows what.

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2009

Very normal...so glad my husband is on first shift now.  That may change soon however.  But I do get that feeling often since he is on the Tact Team and gets called out often in the middle of the night, for God only knows what.

Arin-Marie - posted on 01/05/2009

Hi Tina, I'm right there with you! Your heart stops, jumps a beat, you can't seem to catch your breath for a moment. Yeap, I've had those freak out moments. I'm not sure how long you've been married, I wish I could say it'll get easier, but it doesn't, because then you add kids. Don't worry, your normal. It just means you really love your husband. I've had times when I really thought something was wrong and I called just to make sure. If he doesn't mind, call him to settle your nerves, so you can go back to sleep or get on with your day. It'll be okay.... we've all been there on occasion.

Holly - posted on 01/01/2009

yea that has happened a few times and then i normally threaten his life if he doesn't call me. lol. ;) not much u can do really. except if ur religious say your prays and know its all in God's hands. And the 'gentle' reminders that a phone call would be nice doesnt hurt either.

Deirdre - posted on 12/27/2008

Yes, it's normal to freak out. I've been married to a cop for 23 years and I still get worried, however it's gotten a lot easier. I have had a few late night scares. I worry more about him driving tired than work related problems. He works as a homicide detective and his hours are very long..sometimes days on end with no sleep. We do have a plan.. he is supposed to call my cell phone with updates and if I wake up and worry, I can check my phone and see what his schedule is looking like. Hope that helps. D

Lisa - posted on 12/27/2008

it's normal to get the ick feeling when they're late or don't answer their phone, just don't run out and get a scanner -- that just makes it worse -- especially when you casually listen then overhear your hubby in a high speed pursuit! (learned the hard way)... Just trust that he's well trained to do his job and will react the way he's supposed to.

Jenn - posted on 12/18/2008

yep...that happens quite a lot. It's been 5 years now, so I'm a little bit used to it. I don't worry now unless he's more than an hour late. Plus, with him working until 8am now I'm usually gone before he's supposed to be home anyway, so I don't know if he's late or not. The fears in the back of your mind never go away I don't think (every time the phone rings my first thought is "how fast can I get to the hospital") but you get better at dealing with them.

Rebecca - posted on 12/18/2008

Yes, yes, yes.....I used to, and still do every once in a while get mad when he doesn't call to let me know he is going to be late. Since he got his Sgt.'s promotion I don't worry as much when he is late because I know he is held up with paper work from what the other guys on his platoon did that night.

Coral - posted on 12/17/2008

Yes, I have had that happen several times. That's why I have some of the other officers cell #'s stored in my phone that he works with. It is totally normal to worry about him. My husband works 5pm-3am he always makes late arrests and gets held over. I used to know the minute he was supposed to be home and wake up but after being together for 5 years i've gotten used to it... that or my son wears me out so much I sleep through it. I sometimes dont even knwo he's home until I wake up from my son crying see my husband sleeping next to me. Ofcousrse there are stil times that I wake up and its 5am and he isnt there then I get a little panicky and call him. Usually by that time he's on his way home 30 min commute. But there have been times i had to call somone else 0another officer) b/c he was on a call or in the middle of an arrest and couldnt answer his phone.