accidents

Haley - posted on 04/14/2010

WOW. I mean wow. If the child is little, it could be normal. If there has been a change in the family it could be psychological for example if there's a NEW baby etc. However if they are older, like Dana said it could be TRAMA of sorts. I would not feel comfortable with that in a child over....say five or so.

Nikki - posted on 04/12/2010

I agree, I would take her to the doctor just to get a check up, good luck, I hope her father listens to you :)

Ashley=) - posted on 04/12/2010

Emilie bring your daughter to the doctor she might have very bad constipation and need a stool softener so see can go.Also it shouldn't matter if she wets the sheets her father shouldn't be spanking her for accidents.

Jessica - posted on 04/08/2010

I have heard a lot of times about constipation causing fear/issues with young children not wanting to use the potty. I don't know about the mucous thing, that sounds strange. I'd ask her doctor.

Emilie - posted on 04/08/2010

I am the one that posted the thread about my daughter wetting. She is supposed to go to her fathers house tomorrow and she will be there for 2 days. I have bought a pack of pull-ups to send with her to wear at night. I am sure he won't spank her if she dosen['t get the sheets wet. Also I am going to talk to him about his behavior, and pray that she dosn't have any day time accidents. I think sometimes she is nervious about going poop in the toilet because it hurts her. I have noticed the past couple days that she is complaining about her bottom hurting. What could that be? We was at the store and she said she had to poo poo. So we went to the bathroom and she did nothing. A little while later she said she had to go poo poo we went to the bathroom again, she did nothing. Later at home she was saying that her bottom was huting and she went to the bathroom and was crying and when I wiped her it was like mucous. Could she have bowel problem from stress? What could this be?

Jessica - posted on 04/05/2010

OMG how terrible, that makes me so sad that a parent would do that. I don't know much about potty training but I do agree that it needs to be a positive experience for them. I don't think "disciplining" a child for accidents is the right approach at all. No wonder she's scared, and that kind of stress will make it worse. If I were her mother I wouldn't even let the father see her until he stopped doing that. I might be wrong but 3 is still pretty young to expect them to be totally accident free for good, right?

I went through a phase when I was older, 8 or 9 maybe where I'd wet the bed at night. I never understood why but looking back I think it was stress/anxiety related, I was going through a lot of crap back then.

Kimbeley - posted on 04/05/2010

I sooo agree with you about pull-ups! I hate them as a toilet training technique, the only thing I think they are good for is if you have a child who will NOT lie down for nappy time... and then they are used as a nappy anyway, not toilet training.
As far as I can see, pull-ups are just telling the child that if you can't be bothered going to the toilet it's okay cause the pull-up will absorb it anyway.

Katherine - posted on 04/05/2010

Yes, I am so glad I ran into Nikki :)

Chatty - posted on 04/05/2010

OMG! This topic makes me sooo sad! That poor lil' girl! Her mother needs to eliminate the problem! Maybe daddy will get the hint when he doesn't get to see his daughter for the next couple years until she's accident free?!! Ugh! Sooo frustrating!

Nikki, once again you summed everything up quite nicely! :)

Nikki - posted on 04/05/2010

I forgot to add one of the mother's suggestions on another forum for getting a five year old to stop wetting herself and her bed was to make her wash all of her own clothes and bedding if she wet them! She said she did this with all of her children! I couldn't believe that anyone would even consider that! Yes if they make a mess with their toys, or draw on the walls get them to help you clean it up but can you imagine a poor little 5 year old trying to wash sheets!

Nikki - posted on 04/05/2010

Poor little girl, that's so sad, my husband wouldn't be getting anywhere near my daughter with that attitude!

Regressive toilet training behaviours are normal and quite common in young children, there is quite a few reasons why it can happen. Stress is a big factor, parents separating, any form of abuse, moving house, a new baby, starting day care or school, change of routine, any changes in their life can set off the regression.
Quite often children at that age can just become so involved in what they are doing they just forget to go, or they may feel like they are going to miss out on something so they soil themselves instead.
It can also be caused by medical factors, bladder infection, constipation, these two especially can be detrimental to toilet training efforts because they can be painful therefore the child becomes afraid to go.

It can also be an attention seeking behaviour if it continues on for some time.

Toilet training needs to be a positive and encouraging experience for the child, and even if they have been toilet trained they will still need reminding from time to time, especially if they are regressing. This poor little girl might be scared and ashamed, it would be so much easier and kinder to offer her some understanding and compassion. I feel for her mum.

I was actually reading a similar post on another mother's forum where this mother had made her 5 year old miss out on Easter because she kept wetting her pull ups! I couldn't believe it and most of the other mother's agreed that it was fine to punish them and even smack them, poor little things.

I think pull ups were a rather large step back for toilet training parents, they were and are advertised in a way that made parents think if they bought them then it would be easy to toilet train their child. While I believe they are great in certain situations, they don't work and they prolong the process of toilet training.

I think parents just need to remind themselves no matter how frustrating it becomes, they need to keep their cool, after all it is a learning process not a (well generally speaking) negative behaviour.

Brenda - posted on 04/04/2010

I a little girl who's mother spanked her every time she had an accident, at school, at home, and then at her checkup the doctor did a check, and come to find out she had a problem with her bladder. Her mother appropriately felt bad. But again, you can't take that back. She was seven almost eight when they found out and had had this problem since she started school.

Kimbeley - posted on 04/04/2010

Thanks for that link, I've just made some comments on there! That poor mum and daughter being put in that situation!!!

Katherine - posted on 04/04/2010

How horrible!!!!

Jess - posted on 04/04/2010

I just posted direct that thread, but I thought I would re-peat some it here. I knew someone who at 10 was still having accidents. Her parents would spank her everytime and the more it happened the more they spanked. She got really sick one day and was in the hospital where they discovered that she had an extra tube that connected her bladder to her vagina, So when wee enter this extra tube it would flow down into her vagina and out, causing her to "wet herself". Her parents can't ever take back those spankings. It makes me soo angry when people resort to spanking for anything but especially this. If I was that women, my daughter wouldn't be visiting her dad !

Katherine - posted on 04/04/2010

http://www.circleofmoms.com/welcome-to-c...

Chatty - posted on 04/04/2010

Could be a sign of trauma in their lives?!! I don't know the whole story obviously but I don't feel it's EVER appropriate to smack a child! I'm curious now to know the whole story?!