Behaviour Charts?

Kelly - posted on 04/24/2011

This worked well with J when he was throwing tantrums. Not sure if that's an issue for you, but you might be able to make it work some other way too. I liked it because it was so simple and I could actually keep up with it (I was horrible about remembering to put the stickers on)

I took a manila folder, cut a hole in the front and stapled the sides together. I let J decorate it, then inside, I put a Red, Yellow, and Green pieces of construction paper so that the piece in front showed through the hole I cut in the manila folder.
We start each day on Green. If he has temper issues, it turns to yellow. If he has a full blown temper, it goes to red. If he says on Green all day, he got an extra story at night (no punishment for going to red, except only getting one story because the object for us was to teach him how to deal with the emotions causing the tantrums, not just punish him for the tantrums, but if you use it for some other issue, you can have him loose a privilege if it goes to red, if you want)

When it was on Yellow, he could get back to Green by coming up with a good way to express his angry emotions, or coming up with a good compromise. If he ended the day on Yellow, it was just like he got a green....Yellow was like a freebie.

The other good thing was that it started over every day. It seemed when we tried to go for a week, if he messed up on Tuesday, the whole week was shot for him.

Nikki - posted on 04/20/2011

Good luck

Jenni - posted on 04/19/2011

No not yet. Busy with Easter last weekend. (celebrated it early b/c hubby is working this weekend). I'm planning on starting in the next few weeks. Will let you know how it's going once I start.

Nikki - posted on 04/18/2011

Have you tried the chart yet Jennifer?

JuLeah - posted on 04/15/2011

Pick, not more then three, behaviors you want to focus on. He gets dressed by himself, he brushes his teeth with help, he feeds the dog ... whatever.
Talk with him about what you expect and show him the picture that represents the behavior or chore you have agreed on.
Show him how to put a sticker on for each day he does the chore ... you will have to help him for a time and keep the stickers out of his reach ... at this age, the stickers themselves are reward enough

Jenni - posted on 04/13/2011

Thanks Nikki. Great advice! He has an obsession with putting money in our piggy bank right now. So I think I'll incorporate that into it for sure. Maybe buy him his own little piggy bank. I don't see it as bribing either because as you said, we adults work for our 'rewards' ;)

Nikki - posted on 04/12/2011

I think 3 years is a great age to start. My opinion of reward charts is that the child needs to have a really good understanding of the concept in order for it to work.

So I would start off by coming up with some house rules together. Keep it simple with 3 or 4 rules, such as we pack away our toys, we use our gentle hands, we use kind words, we listen to mum and dad etc. Work out a few things that are most important to you. Discuss the rules with your son and talk to him about creating a sticker chart for when he follows the rules.

I think it's a good idea to make the reward chart together, buy some coloured cardboard, special markers and create a chart he can understand. Using pictures for each rule really helps.

I would start off simple, have a row for each day of the week and then columns for each rule. Really encourage positive behaviour and maybe lower your expectations for a few days until he gets a few stickers on the chart. Each time you put a sticker or a stamp on the chart I would give him one too as a visual reminder of his good behaviour.

I would have goals as well, so once he fills all his stickers in one day you could look at giving him a small reward you choose together, then when he gets all stickers for 3 days he gets a bigger reward. Then a weeks worth and finally a months worth earns the big reward.

They don't have to be materialist rewards, it could be a special outing or an activity he enjoys. Otherwise if you wish to use materialistic rewards, start small then choose something together that he really wants, have a picture of it on the reward chart. When he finished the final reward go shopping and buy it together.

It's important to be really positive about any good behaviours and make a huge deal out of each small step he makes.

Once you finish the month long chart you can extend it to 3 months etc.

Another option is to get a money bank, each time he follows a rule, give him the sticker and put an agreed amount in the piggy bank. At the end of the reward chart he can go shopping with the money he has earned to buy something he likes.

Keep reminding him of the goal at the end.

A lot of people have a problem with "bribing" children, I don't have a problem with it because I feel it teaches a valuable lesson. We all have to work hard and at times do things we don't want to do in order to earn rewards. In a adults case, we go to work and we are rewarded with an income. We may not always like doing it but we do because we like the outcome.

I also think along with materialistic rewards positive encouragement, praise and cuddles are really important. Children want our approval and the love to hear they have done something to make us happy.