Compromising the rules

Meghan - posted on 05/09/2011

We have been going through a similar situation and the one thing I find helps is getting him to help me get dinner ready. He gets a little tv time before we start cooking, then we turn a music channel on (or the tv right off) then he comes into the kitchen and I let him help-season,stir,mash,cut,wash etc. Then I help him serve up his own plate. The whole time I make a huge production about how much he helped mommy make a yummy meal. It usually gets him excited enough to sit and eat with us. :)

Bridget - posted on 05/03/2011

I would record her favorite and play the day before's before the other two so it is over when dinner is ready.

Georgia - posted on 05/03/2011

LOL I know exactly what you're talking about Jess! (as she sings, "1 - brush your teeth! chu cha chu cha.... " My youngest (28 months) loves that and "the Iggle Piggle Show" too. Unfortunately, I got into the habit of dancing along with Jimmy, so now I'm stuck trying to cook and do the dance! lol



I turn off the tv during any and all mealtimes (if it happens to be on). So as soon as the song is done the tv goes off. Mind you, my boys don't do anything (not even blink, I swear!) if they are looking at the tv. So if it were left on, I'd have 2 catatonic kids sitting at the table and I would be saying over and over "Please eat your dinner"... and most likely getting a little louder each time.



Or, if I'm really on the ball I cook dinner during Playschool (which is one of the only other shows they are allowed to watch) and we eat a bit earlier so that dinner is done by the time Giggle and Hoot come on. Those are rare times unfortunately.



If Ava is actually eating whilst watching Maka Paka and crew, then maybe let sleeping dogs lie for now and just be ready for a possible fight in future.



LuAnn, In the Night Garden comes on at 6.30pm, so delaying dinner would mean not eating until 7pm which is a bit late for some... although not really so uncommon in Aus.

Chatty - posted on 05/03/2011

You know your kid best. I'm confident that breaking Roxanne of the habit as she gets older, or if our situation changes and we're actually able to eat more meals together at home as a family, won't be an issue with her. She's pretty easy going and she definitely knows who's in charge.

I suppose not every child is the same so for some families allowing the tv at dinner might pose a more serious problem.

Jess - posted on 05/02/2011

Thanks Dana, I'm thinking that eating is most important. Its hard to teach good healthy eating habits, and while Ava is so happy to eat bowls full of veggies I think doing it in front of the tv is a compromise I can live with !

Thats a fight we can have with her when she is older. I just wasn't sure if compromising the rule was a wise idea, but its the lesser of two evils I think !

Chatty - posted on 05/02/2011

Depends what's more important to you.....her eating?.....or the rules?

We had the same rule growing up but our lives today don't really allow for it. Chad sometimes isn't home until Roxanne is getting ready for bed, and I'm often busy doing chores and getting things ready for the next day, but Roxanne NEEDS to eat and TO ME it's more important that she eat a proper healthy complete meal so ya, I let her watch tv sometimes while she's eating. I hate to admit this but she eats SO MUCH BETTER when she's in her own little world eating and watching tv. When we do have family dinners and we're all there chatting etc. she's more easily distracted and tends to not eat as well.

At Roxanne's young age (2 1/2) eating IS more important than the rules. As she gets older, things WILL be different but for right now this is one thing I have decided to compromise on. FOR NOW! ;)

LuAnn - posted on 05/01/2011

Is there a reason you can't push back dinner till the end of her favorite show? With the clear understanding, of course, that the television goes OFF as soon as that show ends, and you all eat dinner together? Seems like it would be a good way to show her that families work and compromise together to make everybody happy. You've acknowledged that she loves her favorite show, and in return, she sits down and eats dinner with the family immediately afterward to make you happy.

Jess - posted on 05/01/2011

I forgot to mention that she is 20 months. This is the only show she watches. I can record the shows like In the night garden, but the giggle and hoot part is listed as "extras" and can't be recorded :(

Its just so perfect because it steps her through getting ready for bed, keeps her busy so I can make dinner and being winter here now its far to dark and cold to be playing outside.

I'm just worried that if I slack off on the dinner rule now, it will be impossible to enforce later or worse still if I push it and she won't eat at all for me. At the moment she will happily eat bowls full of fresh vegetables but she can't sit still to do it. At day care, they said she will sit and eat if everyone else is. As soon as 1 child moves from the table Ava is right behind them ! Its like she simply can't sit still and eat.

JuLeah - posted on 05/01/2011

Can't you record it and watch it later? If this is the only show you have issues with, I'd work around it. But if there are many things she won't do (play outside, play with other kids ...) because of the TV, I'd get rid of the TV

Jenni - posted on 05/01/2011

hmmm... I see your point. This could go in so many different directions. I'll just throw one idea out there for you, maybe one you don't want to hear ;) If eating dinner as a family is a priority in your house, I'd turn the TV off around dinner time. I'm not sure how old your daughter is? But what I do is engage my son in colouring or playing with playdoh at the kitchen table while I'm preparing meals.

I know what you're saying though, Dora use to be on around the time I was making dinner and it was so easy to fall into the trap of letting my kids watch it at that time. And I too, found the aftermath to be rather detrimental to meal time.

Also, it could be a very long time before your daughter understand the tv is just paused. Even when she does she may still fight with you to watch it instead of siting down and eating dinner.



I personally don't have high expectations for my preschoolers to sit through an entire meal. They generally finish their meal long before my husband or I do. In our house I don't have a problem with them leaving the table when they are finished. (Although when they know they're getting a treat after dinner that night, they stick around lol). I encourage them to stay seated at the dinner table for the whole meal... but my son is antsy and tends to leave his seat a lot. Which means for me, elimanating distractions is a must around dinner time.



Also, make meal time fun. Something she looks forward to. Make funny faces out of the food on her plate. Engage her in dinner discussions; talk to her about her day and the things you and her did that day. Talk about your plans for the next day. Use this time to throw in educational games with eating involving numbers, colours, creativity. Be really enthusiastic and laught a lot. That's why we share dinner as a family in the first place, isn't it? :)