Cynthia - posted on 09/13/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )
Okay, so here's my problem.
My 10 month old son just started Daycare almost 2 weeks ago and I'm already running into a few issues with one of the care givers. A little background, my son goes to a home daycare with a husband and wife team. The wife looks after the 1 & 2 year olds while her husband handles the 3-5 yr olds. The husband is the disciplinarian and the wife is the softer touch who I like very much, her husband on the other hand is giving me pause. A few times he's made cracks about my son's size (he's almost 24 lbs and 29 1/2" long) he even went as far as to call him an American size baby (no offense to the Americans on this forum). The last time he made that comment I looked at him and jokingly said "What? He'll work you're pipes and get you good and strong". He hasn't made a comment about it since then. LOL One day last week it had taken an hour to put my son down for a nap (can happen sometimes) and when I went to pick him up he asked if I hold my son to sleep. I told him I guess given that I feed him his bottle and have to HOLD him while I do that. He then informed me that they can't do that because they have 9 children to look after. His wife said that when she would leave the room my son would fuss but would stop when she went back into his line of sight. I told her he can be like that sometimes and as long as he can see you he'll drift off to sleep. Well, her husband pipes in again saying "She can't do that, we have 9 children to look after." I just looked at him and then further ignored him because he is not the primary care giver to my child there, his wife is. Then last Thurs he had to mouth off again about my son and this is what really did it for me. I go pick up my son and while I was talking to the wife about my son's day the husband butts in and asked if I let my son in the kitchen. I looked at him and told him politely that he goes in there occasionally but I usually have that area gated up. He told me that my son continuously kept going in their kitchen which is off limits and would not listen when he was told no and kept going back there (they can't gate up their kitchen because of the layout) and then while they were cleaning they gated the children in the playroom and my son was whining to get out and when they wouldn't he went to the play table and swiped all the toys off the table in a temper tantrum. My son has never thrown a temper tantrum with me or his father. He may get upset and cry because he's hungry or tired but he's never thrown anything in a temper, just while he's playing...lol. Yup, he's a true boy, likes to throw his toys around. Just on a side note here, all the kids had a bad day that day not just my son, must have been the weather or a full moon.
Anyway, I guess my issue about the husband is all he seems to do is complain or have negative comments about my son, he never says anything to me if it's been a good day or with anything positive to say. Does he really expect a 10 month old to know that the kitchen is off limits and to obey when he's told no? Is he behaving negatively towards my son? He's in a new setting and it will be an adjustment for him as well as the care workers but if all I hear are negatives about my son do I really trust the husband with the care of him? His wife is the one I communicate with about my son's day and she'll tell me about how his day went, good and bad. I don't really need the husband to bust in the conversation with the negative aspects of the day. I guess he feels that his wife won't say anything so it's his job to do so.
I would yank my son out of this daycare now if I could but unfortunately we are stuck with this place for now. Where I live there is a 2 yr waiting list for daycares which SUCKS because it leaves you limited with options. The only saving grace of this place is the wife because I really like her and so does my son, he responds to her well.
I guess for now I need advice on how to deal with the husband. I know I need to speak up and say something to him the next time he feels it necessary to complain about my son. What is the best way to go about it without getting into a conflict? I'm a hot tempered individual so I have to be mindful of what I say because it can go from warm to hot in a matter of seconds with the possibility of explosions. lol And when it concerns my child...grrrrrr!