Do you yell at your kids?

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[deleted account]

I agree, Riana -- our children need to understand that NO ONE is perfect. As parents if we don't make mistakes, how can we teach our children to be compassionate and understanding. We need to teach them how to humble themselves, admit when they're wrong and apologize.

Riana - posted on 11/19/2010

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Yes, I do yell, very seldom but I do. When I loose my temper I ALWAYS apologise afterwards and we'll discuss better ways to do things. Lets be honest parenting is challenging and it's not always about setting an example to never make mistakes sometimes there is a much more valuable lesson in how we deal with our own imperfections...

Nikki - posted on 11/19/2010

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I am loud too, but I really think there is a difference between being loud and aggressively yelling. I think it has a lot to do with your tone of voice as well.

September - posted on 11/18/2010

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I do not yell at my son. There is just no reason to yell, it accomplishes nothing imo.

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Smatsatsa Sa - posted on 01/16/2011

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please help, my 3 year old(soon to be 4) drives me crazy, she seems to be enjoying to misbehave just so i can shout or smack her, but when i do smack her she will be apologising and giving me endless hugs and telling me she loves me and promise to listen and stop misbehavin, and the saga continues, its worse in public places, im sometimes not enjoying going out anywhere with her because i get tired of calling her to order, it seems its all i do, is there something wrong i am doing? am i paying too much attention to her( maybe thats y i notice all her misbehaving) i am told she is being a child and i should stop paying so much attention, but i know sometime yes she deserves a smack for being out of line, how do i handle all this without shouting and stressing so much, plse help parents

Amanda - posted on 11/30/2010

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I do not agree with someone who yells constantly at thier child for every little thing and for no reason half the time...

Amanda - posted on 11/30/2010

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yelling is a last resort for me..I really try not to and my mother was the same way, try everything else first, like talking nice, encouragment, bribery even...time outs or groundings and taking things away and sometimes that don't work but I really try not to yell and If i do I always appalogize to my child after...

[deleted account]

I don't yell i speak in a stern raised voice but its never a yell no matter how much he tests me...there is i might add a fine line between raised and yelling

Meghan - posted on 11/29/2010

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lol, Laura...you are so right. The few times I have done it I feel SO relaxed at first...then its like "ooops!" It is a long road and it takes A LOT of patience, but our little ones will thank us for it one day!

Merry - posted on 11/29/2010

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yes i yell, and yes i hate it.
i was not ylled at by my mom, but my dad yeled a TON
and when i got to highschool my dad only ever spoke to me in a yell. or so it felt.
i know how bad it is, and i never think its right. but its so hard not to when its wired into you like that.
and even when i do i hate it how i feel better once i just let it out. i get calmer if i lose my temper for a bit.
so im working on calming down without yelling first!
ill get there.

Cat - posted on 11/21/2010

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I have yelled on occasion, and that was me acting on pure frustration. I did learn an interesting technique at a parenting class that I'd thought I'd share with you. Try WHISPERING! My kids were in the middle of a yelling match once and instead of yelling at them to be quiet I got their attention and started whispering to them. They immediately went silent and almost perked their ears up like little dogs. It was pretty amazing. Once it was quiet and their interest peaked I was able to talk to them and and work out the problem. Of course I don't always remember to use this technique but when I have tried it seemed to always work. :)

Jaime - posted on 11/19/2010

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I don't yell constantly, but there are moments of frustration where I find myself speaking to Gray in a raised voice and, on rare occasions I yell. I am really working at eliminating yelling from my disciplining strategy because I agree that it accomplishes nothing and only makes me feel like shit for having not been able to control my emotions in the heat of frustration and anger. When I think back to when I was younger and had a bin full of pre-conceived notions about parenthood, it never would have crossed my mind just how much stress is put upon adults that have children. I mean stress in general...good and bad. What's bothersome to me nowadays is the fact that we are so fast-paced in our respective societies, that stress of any kind is perceived primarily as negative and it only adds to the little quirks and frustrations that we might be able to overlook if we learned to slow down and appreciate a five minute coffee break.

But I digress...I think that like spanking, yelling does little to contribute positive strategies to the techniques of discipline and so I truly appreciate articles that address these issues and offer insight into the changes that can be made to eliminate such negative forces.

Deborah - posted on 11/19/2010

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i do feel really bad when i yell at my little i dont mean to do i sometimes cry after it, its just a reaction i do take when she acts up, i have recently started givin positive attitudes towards her and she seems to be behaving better, if i feel a yell coming on i stop and count to 10 and it works

September - posted on 11/19/2010

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Although I've never yelled at our son I have raised my voice in front of our son when having a disagreement with my husband. I always apologize to both my husband and our son. You're right Dana, no one is perfect and I do not want to raise our son to believe so.

Meghan - posted on 11/19/2010

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I always make sure to apologize if I mess up. Empathy is a big thing too, and it of course is hard to teach a toddler that.

[deleted account]

I have my moments, for sure. I was raised in a loud environment where yelling was totally normal.

Jess - posted on 11/19/2010

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I tend not to yell, our house is just far to small to be yelling in. The neighbours would be able to hear my screaming all day !

I find my tone with Ava can we quite poor at times, which is something I've decided to work on. I know my mum can speak quite rudely when she is annoyed and I've started doing that, and trying to redirect Ava I get fed up and just start spinning her around and telling her "go away", and then I feel bad!

So I'm working on that too !

Meghan - posted on 11/18/2010

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I am a very loud person and I have found myself yelling to J but rarely at him. He doesn't respond like he is afraid.

September - posted on 11/18/2010

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Discipline is calm, and gentle. Discipline has a nurturing tone of voice. Discipline teaches through communication. I LOVE THIS!!! Just sayin....:)

[deleted account]

Thank you for posting this. I am a yeller (as was my mom) and it doesn't work. I have really been trying to handle things differently with them. Yelling is my first impulse but I need to slow things down and be more calm and find a better alternative. Thanks again.

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