Erics getting worse. Im SO angry and frustrated

Lise - posted on 12/27/2011

it could be sensory - i had a client tell me once that cutting his nails felt like somebody poking knives into his nail beds. what about filing them or using scissors?

Danelle - posted on 10/28/2011

Yeah, I would try to do it while he sleeps. However, (and it probably sounds 'bad') if you get someone to help out to 'hold him down', he will eventually stop fighting you about it. Our youngest doesn't like it either but, we sing songs and work really, really fast... ;)

Renee - posted on 10/28/2011

Is there anyone that can help distract him? Seems like anytime I can get someone to get my daughter talking, it's almost like the rest of her body is in a different room than her head, so she can talk talk talk to whoever, and I can clip nails, and it's like she isn't there to fight me!

Tara - posted on 10/15/2011

Feet tickle!!! My son went through the same sort of thing too. He is great with his finger nails but it can sometimes be a struggle with the toe nails. I let him do it first and then say it's my turn now and this works well. I have also said to him let me do this and you can have a chocolate. Bribery I know but it works and it's just a little piece of chocolate that he gets. I have also let him watch me do mine and he likes to mimic what I do a lot of the time. There is nothing wrong with him I am sure!!! Just sounds like he doesn't like his feet touched or its his age?! They like to be in control of things and do things on their own terms. You could also say, once you let me cut your toe nails then we can go and play.....etc. Otherwise stating that there will be no playing or anything else until that gets done. I have also told mine that his toes will hurt if they get too long. Good luck, it will pass!

April - posted on 10/15/2011

Zachary used to be bad like that too, but then I started letting him "do it himself first." Now he just wants me to hurry so he can play with the bath toys, lol!

Nikki - posted on 10/15/2011

That's awesome the sleep cutting worked! Hopefully it's just a phase and he won't mind it in time to come.

Laura Zoey - posted on 10/14/2011

Half his nails are painted blue right now :) I should try a more detailed mani pedi while he watches I think. good idea!

Angela - posted on 10/14/2011

Elfrieda's post reminded me a trick I did with my son. I gave myself a pedicure and let him watch. Trimmed my toes, filed them, buffed them and painted them with a sparkley top coat. I did a lot of positive talking along the way. "Trimming my toes feels so nice. Now my nails won't be scratchy, they won't be so long that they break or get caught in my socks" I just made a really big show of how great it was and how pretty my nails looked afterwards. It worked my son wanted a pedi too! If you don't like the idea of painting his toes with sparkles or a color go for a clear coat!

Laura Zoey - posted on 10/14/2011

I managed to get them cut in his sleep! Not a permanent solution but I'm thinking I'll do it in his sleep for long enough to get his fear gone. I'll pretend to cut his nails so he sees it's painless and no big deal and hopefully after a while he will let me actually cut them while he's awake!

Elfrieda - posted on 10/13/2011

What about just filing them for now? If you use one of those big nail shapers, you could grind them down without actually cutting. But if it tickles his toes that might be just as bad.

If he was mine, I'd probably (I assume you gave him a closed nail cutter to hold, put in "bob the builder" or similar and it didn't distract him) get my husband to flatten him and hold his hand or foot while I quickly did it, and then do something fun as a family right afterwards, like playing outside.

Georgia - posted on 10/13/2011

Exactly, Kate! I let Wyatt cut his own nails, but he's not old enough yet to actually cut anything, but he cuts then I cut. Or if I can get him "cutting" his toe nails I'll work on the free hand and then we switch.

For most things I've enlisted the "helper" mode. Get the kid to help you do whatever it is and they willingly participate (most of the time).

Toni - posted on 10/12/2011

I don't think there's anything wrong with Eric Laura, a lot of kids are the same, like nikki's issy Ethan used to fight me so much then when we went to my sil's she sat him down and he just let her cut them....it isn't an option for us. To get her to do them though as she lives 3hours away. But since then he has a little resistance but generally just let's me get on with it.

Have you tried asking what he wants as a reward? Or maybe a reward chart where he gets a star or a sticker For letting you do it?

If it's distressing him I wouldn't hold him down as it'll probably make the situation worse. I have found that if I leave ethan's nails too long that makes him edgy probably because it's uncomfortable for him when I touch them, but if I cut them regularly he is far less resistant. Idk if it's the uncomfortable or just that's he's used to it?

Liz - posted on 10/12/2011

Have you tried showing him a favorite DVD?

Erin - posted on 10/12/2011

There's nothing wrong with him Laura. He's just a toddler! They get something into their head and there is no reasoning with them.

Milla is good with her fingernails, but toenails are a struggle. Because she's such a girly girl, the nail polish reward works here. But it still takes a lot of reassurance. She just genuinely dislikes people touching her feet (she even squirms when I wash them) and I can understand that. I hate people touching my feet too!

I don't think there is any one solution. Obviously they need to be cut, so all you can do is keep trying with the rewards, games, songs, explanations and modelling behaviour etc, and if all else fails, have your hubby hold him while you do it.

Kate CP - posted on 10/12/2011

Maybe try letting him cut a nail on you or hubby? Or try letting him do it himself? Obviously if he's too young it won't work but I'm not sure how old he is. If he's around 5 he's probably capable of doing it with some help.

Georgia - posted on 10/12/2011

Doesn't your hairdresser have like a portable dvd player or something for kids?? Most of the places I've been to have them specifically for kids. Mind you, I've been cutting their hair for a long time now and I just make them sit on a sawhorse outside and play with the spray bottle.

Yeah, seeing daddy doing it would work way better! Hairdressers should know the tricks if they deal with kids frequently.

Stifler's - posted on 10/12/2011

The hairdresser was dumb and made Logan sit in the men's section while Damo got his haircut elsewhere. They should have made them sit together so he could see daddy getting it done. Maybe if you cut your nails to show him it's not scary he will let you without a fuss?

Georgia - posted on 10/12/2011

Nah, some random boy wouldn't work... but a kid he knows might.

Georgia - posted on 10/12/2011

Peer pressure works well for many things (like toilet training), so it might. I know Wyatt is happier doing stuff if Seth does it. Nail cutting isn't quite the same though.. he may let me start, but usually about halfway through he's over it.

I wouldn't say it was sensory issues, he just doesn't like his nails messed with for some reason unknown to you. Unless he exhibits other sensory issues, I think it's just the way he is. Both my boys went through the stage of hating nail cutting (at about the same age, which is why Wyatt is still sometimes a problem), but after continuing to do it at a slower pace and trying to make it more fun... the fights stopped once routine was established.

Stifler's - posted on 10/12/2011

Peer pressure didn't wor for Logan at the hairdresser I'm like "Look at that boy he's sitting there being good getting his hair cut" and Logan just continued to scream the whole time.

Stifler's - posted on 10/12/2011

Damo and I do the nails together and one holds him and the other cuts

Laura Zoey - posted on 10/12/2011

I've wondered about peer pressure, if he watches another toddler sitting calmly maybe he would chill too. I'll try it in his sleep but I'm worried it will wake him upin a fury!

Nikki - posted on 10/12/2011

Isobel is exactly the same, she screams blue murder when I get anywhere near her nails. So I have always done them when she is asleep too. The other day I mentioned this to my sister in law while she was cutting her sons, so she tried and Issy sat there perfectly still and let her cut them!!! So it's Aunty Brynnie's job now. lol

Georgia - posted on 10/12/2011

I used to do nails while sleeping when the boys were infants, but switched before 1 year so that they could get used to it.

This is something I still sometimes struggle with Wyatt. Nothing wrong with him, he just doesn't like it and I think Eric is probably the same. What I do is have 2 pairs of clippers, exactly the same. I give Wyatt a pair to play with (closed) for maybe 5 minutes while he sits on my lap. He'll usually start pretending to cut nails and even say "chop chop" (it's a thing I've always done from when I first start cutting their nails as babies, I'd say "it's time to cut the nails, chop chop" and every time I'd cut I say "chop chop" in a sing song way). Then I open them for him to experiment with. While he's busy cutting his nails I get my pair out and start cutting. If I have to, I'll sing the "chop chop" song... just something I made up. I encourage him to "keep chopping the nails and help mummy."

He's really, REALLY bad with toes and I have no idea why. But if the nail clippers have lost their magic, I'll take a break for a few minutes to let things calm down and then we sit back down with a book. I let him pick TWO books, one we read before and one we read after toenail cutting. OR, I give him a small piece of paper to use his clippers on and he cuts the paper while I do his toes.

If all else fails, I just stop and try again later.

Good luck!

Cynthia - posted on 10/12/2011

try to do it while he is sleeping. it works for my son. good luck

Laura Zoey - posted on 10/12/2011

I've never wanted to spank the h*** out of him so bad.