Here's your name tag -- tell us a bit about yourself!

Kirsten - posted on 11/29/2011

My name is Kirsten and i am momma to Connor who just turned 4 and Jacob who will be 2 months December 3rd. I found this forum on another thread and wanted to check it out for any tips to follow. My husband travels usually once per month for a week or two, and my 4 yr old can really test what little patience i have. It feels like we are constantly yelling b/c he is never listening and wants to just do his own thing. I have been trying to read a book- Have a new kid by Friday- for weeks to see what i can change, but just can never get past the few pages i am up to. So i am really looking forward to hearing (or reading actually) what advice everyone has.

Renee - posted on 10/26/2011

Hello, I am a 29 year old mommy to a 4 year old girl. She is amazing, smart, beautiful... you know, all the great things ALL of our children are :) I know I am not the most patient, or understanding,and I tend to overreact sometimes... I am trying to work on it! My daughter keeps me hopping all of the time, but I wouldn't trade her for anything!

Tabitha - posted on 10/13/2011

Im a 22 year old mommy named Tabbi with a 19 month old daughter, Melina- Ann, who will be 2 on march 8th =) She is a very active little girl, who takes gymnastics classes every saturday morning that helps her with her with coordination, learning new things from sports things to learning her abcs, colors, sharing, and interacting with other kids her age but also younger and older than her. that way she nos how to treat them. I found this site when i found out i was preggo (at 4.5 months) and starting using it for support and reading other peoples post with advice to help prepare myself for when she got here. now 25 months later since i first started on this site i still use it for advice,k i dont post very often, because alot of my questions are asked and answered already so i read through post to help with discipline for toddler hitting, biting, tempers, etc and i have learned so much and have found so many answers And responses soooo USEFUL. So i want to thank everyone on here for being so open and honest. Being a single mom with not many friends, this is one place i can turn for support.

Angela - posted on 10/05/2011

Hi all! My name is Angela and I have a beautiful 3.5 son. I believe in positive parenting but my husband is some what on the fence and believes that spanking and yelling is okay. We are at odd with each other over our different parenting styles and it is beginning to affect our sons behavior. I joined this group for two reasons: 1. To connect with other moms who feel the way I do and to share experience and ideas and 2. so my husband can see the positive parenting does work! I have tried getting him to read books and articles about the subject but he thinks (these are his own words) that they are "bunk". Hopefully he can see things from the parents points of view not just the advice of doctor who has written a book on the subject!

Janeta - posted on 09/29/2011

HI I am Janeta I am the mother to a beautiful fourteen month old baby girl. I found this website through facebook and was curious to see what it was all about and have not been able to get enough of it. I love all the support and opinions I recieve! I like spending time with my husband and daughter! We go on family dates walks park bike rides ect. I finished high school in Oct 2010 and I walked the stage in May 2011 I am starting college in January to become a RN in an NICU unit. I am a stay at home mommy for now! I love being a mommy and a wife! I am married to my high school sweet heart and the daddy to our baby! (: I love my life! I could not be happier!

Tabitha - posted on 09/29/2011

Hihi Everyone :)

I'm Nikki and I'm the mom of 3 kids who are constantly trying to damage what little sanity I have left. They are ages 6, 4, and 2 (yes, we have a thing for even numbers).
My kids are pretty destructive, however mostly only when their dad is away for work. I've tried everything and at this point I'm looking for ANYTHING! that will help. I do a lot of painting, writing, and sculpting in my free time, and the kids love to destroy whatever mommy is working on. I've tried giving them their own supplies, but that doesn't seem to help really. They get tired of it and it's back to wrecking mommy's stuff. I've tried locking my office door at nights - worked for about a week until they figured out how to Unlock the doors. I've tried hiding my supplies and gear, they found it. In fact, I'm STILL! trying to track down all of my beads and little miniatures that I made in my son's room two weeks after he dumped the entire box on his bed.

SO! I'm here for advice! Any help is greatly appreciated !!

Amy - posted on 09/29/2011

I have an 8yr old boy, I'm 28, husband is 26, we have been married almost 9yrs. I joined because my husband & I were raised worlds apart...I was spanked (btw don't hate my parents for it just don't think it's the way I want to parent) & he was never disiplined for doing wrong just abused when his dad was drunk or high. We neither one wanted to be our parents so we try to find middle ground. We have spanked my son (less than 5 times lol) mostly we use taking privledges & talking about the situation etc. my son has actually asked before "can't I just get a spanking instead" which is how I know that spanking is not what works for him :) it is an easy out (lol also tells me that thankfully his "spankings" he has had were not hard enough to damage him) I love getting feedback that is positive & helpful because we are still just mere mortals & I don't always have the answer right now :) Sorry so long :D

Nomsa - posted on 09/07/2011

I am 26 years old, i have a 20 months old son and a 12 weeks old baby boy. Just getting to that point of frustration as my son is getting naughtier by the day.really need help, as i have not found any method of discipline that works for him.

Liyah - posted on 09/02/2011

Hey everyone my name is Liyah I turn 23 in 5 days and I have a 3yr old daughter who is being assessed at the moment due to her behaviour, what brought me here is I really want to be able to discipline my daughter without smacking, yelling, and throwing my own little tantrum lol as for what makes me tick lol the shortest list would be what doesn't make me tick lol I am originally from New Zealand but I live in Australia feel free to ask me any questions.

Lissa - posted on 08/14/2011

Hello and welcome to the community Kiley, this is a great community with some lovely ladies. You sound like a very busy lady!
Like you we are all positive and passionate so I hope you enjoy the community.

Kiley - posted on 08/12/2011

Hello Everyone,
I am a mother to a very verbal and creative 2.5yr old girl and am 14wks pregnant with #2. We have two dogs, Norman and Bijou and my husband's cat, Karen. I have a BAs in Linguistics and French and my CA Preschool Site Supervisor Permit (6 more units until Program Director). I am passionate about Positive Discipline, early childhood and bilingual ed. I am fortunate to teach at a site where PD is used, my husband is very supportive too, but beyond that our families are relentless on attacking PD..so I was excited to find this community!!

Jenni - posted on 08/08/2011

Hi Aicha, nice to meet you! :)



My two are approximately the same age difference as your younger ones. A lot of it just takes time for your older one to adjust to their new sibling. Even then.... sibling riverly may be a lifelong battle. But there are a few things you can try to weaken it.



For this age:



Make sure you are spending one on one time with your toddler.



Involve her in her new brother's daily care. What helped my son was having him preform daily care on a baby doll. I'd give him real diapers, baby spoons and bowls, bottles to imitate what I was doing.



Praise her on helping you with the new baby or when you see her being gentle. Try not to draw too much attention for negative behaviour towards your son. Most of her actions are a ploy for your attention because she now has to compete for it with her new sibling. And children don't care if they get negative or positive attention as long as they are getting it! So don't feed in it but give her attention for her positive behaviours.



You could remove her from the situation if she hurts him, in a timeout. Address the behaviour that landed her in timeout. Ignore her for 2 mins. And then address the behaviour again. Basically, she needs to learn those negative actions towards her brother is not going to get the attention she's seeking.



But yes, it will take time for her to adjust. Especially, with siblings close an age. She still needs a lot of mommy's time and now has to share it with a new little one.



My son (3 now) went through the same. It gets better! But even he still has his moments.

I try to treat my older two (SD 4) and (son 3) like a team. When they fight/argue I address the negative behaviour. But they both get split up until they are calm and can address the conflict rationally. I try not to pick sides and see myself as their referee or mediator.

Aicha - posted on 08/08/2011

Hi Ladies
I am a mother of 4 my 2 older children live with their father they are 12yrs and 10 yrs old . then I remarried and I have a daughter 23 months old and a 6 month old son ( they are 17 months apart and my daughter is still jealous of her brother she bites , hits and pushes him for no reason and I am at my wits end on how to get her to be nice any suggestions I will try

Alison - posted on 07/14/2011

My dad and husband actually moved our stuff to Washington while our daughter was still in the NICU and it ended up being the biggest snow storm here in 10 years! They got pulled off the road and had to shovel the steps to our apartment the next day. :O) Anyway, I promised my daughter I'd take her to the store and it's getting quite late (still have sleep issues with this one) so I'd better go. Thanks for the chat.

Chatty - posted on 07/14/2011

Glad to hear you had help.

Moving went relatively smoothly I suppose. I was lucky to have a lot of family to show up and help and my dad drove the moving truck with my brother.

Alison - posted on 07/14/2011

That's crazy our stories are so similar. Did you have a hard time moving so close to your due date? Some of my family members thought I was crazy for even thinking about it, but my husband was really close to having a job here and I didn't want him to have to move without me and then miss the birth. He almost missed the birth anyway because he was out of town for a job interview, but he made it and i had my mom and sisters there to help me so it all worked out.

Chatty - posted on 07/14/2011

:( Sorry to hear you had such a rough go.



Your story is UNCANNY. I wasn't out of shape but I did gain almost 80lbs with our daughter, AND we moved (longish distance) not long before we had her. She was in the NICU for a week with low blood sugar.



Edited to add: my water also broke at home with meconium in it. We had to rush to the hospital and it was just a string of shitty events leading up to her birth.

Alison - posted on 07/14/2011

We're grateful for modern medicine. :O)

Alison - posted on 07/14/2011

I don't mind you asking. I think with my daughter it was a combination of me being out of shape and under a lot of stress. I gained 60 lbs that pregnancy, we were in college and I wasn't sure where I was going to end up having our baby etc. I developed toxemia and my water broke 6 weeks early. We actually had a U-haul rented to move that weekend, but ended up having to postpone. With my son, my water broke early as well, but my doctor thinks I developed gestational diabetes. I barely passed the first blood glucose test and he was still 7 lbs at 4 weeks premature. I was in the NICU when I was born for pneumonia I believe and my husband was premature, along with two of his brother's kids, so I'm thinking it being genetic is also a possibility. I'm trying to lose weight before we try for another one to reduce the chances of another NICU baby.

Chatty - posted on 07/14/2011

Do you mind me asking why your kids were both born prematurely with under developed lungs? Is it genetic?

Alison - posted on 07/14/2011

I live in Pasco--the tri-cities area by the Columbia River. Nice to meet you too. :O)

Chatty - posted on 07/14/2011

Nice to meet you Alison. Out of curiosity, where in WA are you? I live in Canada, just across the Sumas, WA border crossing.

Lissa - posted on 07/14/2011

You probably know everything about me already as I never shut up!
I'm 31, married, have three children (14,6,5), live in Scotland and I also have a dog and two fish. I am starting college in a few weeks, so is my husband so I probably wont have much time on here for quite a while.
I sometimes think I know what I'm talking about, I am somewhat opinionated, I have had to learn tact it does not come naturally. I love this group there are lots of ladies with some great advice.
It takes me forever to make decisions like which car to buy but I married my husband 13 weeks after meeting him. I laugh all the time yet I'm actually quite pessimistic, actually I'm an optomistic pessimist, I hope for the best but always have a plan and back up plan,knowing the best is not actually going to happen.

Alison - posted on 07/14/2011

I'm a 25 year old stay-at-home mother of a 3 yr old girl and a nearly 2 year old boy. I've been married almost 6 years. My children deserve better than my mothering so far, but I'm trying to do better. Our kids were both born prematurely and had stays in the NICU for underdeveloped lungs. We moved to Washington (state) on our daughter's one month birthday and have been here since. I'm a church-going, non gun-toting, conservative. And my extra 50 lbs accumulated since I got married is, I hope, going to disappear with a new diet and exercise plan. :O)

Chatty - posted on 07/13/2011

HAHA! THAT would have been hilarious. I would have gotten a really excited call from my MIL.

Good Day! - posted on 07/13/2011

Dana, I'm glad I didn't post a 'congrats' on your facebook...lol!

Shannintipton - posted on 07/13/2011

I was thinking since you didn't reply one way or the other, it was a yes. That is how rumors get started. LOL

Chatty - posted on 07/13/2011

Ohhhhh, haha! I just got the question about being pregnant now. I'm not sure how I missed it the other day. No, I'm not pregnant. I was referring to my pregnancy with Roxanne. LMFAO! I'm DEFINITELY flighty!

I don't drink coffee either, Sara -- never have. I make my own iced green tea if I need something different to drink or need a caffeine kick. I use stevia/xylitol to sweeten it.

Good Day! - posted on 07/13/2011

I think it's coffee...as stupid as that sounds. I drink coffee to make it through the day. I don't pay attention to how much I drink or how late it's getting. I discussed it with my husband today.

Chatty - posted on 07/13/2011

We certainly could NEVER hate you, Sara! ♥ Since I posted here about my accident, I wonder if my sometimes being forgetful, spacey and random is related to my injury? Hmmm. I don't know now...

Yikes about the insomnia......any idea what the culprit is? How long has it been happening? Maybe you should talk to your doctor?

Oh, and P.S. SO glad you joined. Jump right in.

Good Day! - posted on 07/13/2011

Okay Dana...I'm dying to know if you are pregnant! And I never knew that you had a head injury. Shannin, I think I've seen you mention it before, but I didn't know how serious it was wow!

I'll tell 'my' head injury story now. It's really my husband's and it happened years before we met. He had been working outside in mid-summer heat all day with no food or drink (he is the type to get busy and not stop to eat). He had a heat stroke and fell and hit his head on the water spicket. He was unconscious for four days and almost had brain surgery. He is incredibly forgetful and sometimes spacey, but I don't know if that's a result of the head injury or if it's his personality. I've never known him any other way.

Okay, so on to the OP...finally...lol...

I'm Sara and I have two kids. Eliza is three and Jacie is almost 4 months old. I'm here to learn. We spank on very rare occasions (don't hate me!), but I'm hoping to avoid those occasions as much as possible. Lately I've been more relaxed with my parenting and not so worried about what 'other people' think. I find that we are happier as a family. I don't get up to pee, but lately I've been suffering from insomnia. It's 2 am and I've been up since 8 am. CANNOT SLEEP. And I know that as soon as I fall asleep the baby will wake up to nurse. Sigh.

Shannintipton - posted on 07/12/2011

I was wondering if I had missed something too. But didn't want to ask. So I will just wait. lol

Becky - posted on 07/12/2011

Wait, Dana, are you talking about your pregnancy with Roxanne, or are you expecting your second???

Chatty - posted on 07/12/2011

WOW! You're a busy lady, Becky! Glad you're here.

Shannin, I don't think anything was actually affected by my head injury, although my memory is the shits. I'm not sure if that is a result of the injury or not? I've really noticed a change since I got pregnant, so I'm assuming it's more to do with hormones, and pregnancy than the accident. I was EXTREMELY lucky. Just a pretty visible scar. Part of it is hidden in my hair, but the part that goes from my temple and up across to the middle of my forehead (before going straight up and into my hairline about 3 inches) is pretty big and noticeable.Meh, doesn't really bother me anymore. It's part of who I am. AND, if I really want to hide it, I just have to style my hair to cover it.

Becky - posted on 07/11/2011

I am (as of today) a 35 year old mother of 2 adorable, active, and hilarious little boys. Cole is almost 3 1/2 (next month) and Zach is 22 months. And I am 10 weeks pregnant with our third. I've been married for 4 years - got pregnant with Cole in our first month of marriage! We live in Calgary, Alberta. I am a stay at home mom, although I also do home assessments on contract for a private adoption agency. I'm a social worker and before I had kids, I worked in child protection, first as a Child protection worker, and then as an adoption worker. I grew up in West Africa and went to boarding school for 8 years.
I was raised with spankings and after working in child welfare for 8 years and doing a lot of research into attachment and child development, decided that that was not the way I wanted to parent. I think just about everyone I know spanks though. So it's tough to get support for other forms of discipline. That's why I joined this group. I really haven't been active here, but with 2 toddlers and being exhausted, hormonal and nauseous with pregnancy, I'm struggling these days, so you'll likely be seeing a lot more of me.
Oh, and I don't actually get up in the night to pee yet, but my 22 month old still wakes at least once in the night if not more, and I always find I have to pee when I'm up with him!

Laura Zoey - posted on 07/10/2011

Well I like you Shannin :) you're one of my fav here!

Shannintipton - posted on 07/09/2011

Yes all of the above was affected. No memory what so every. Cant focus for to long and lack of concentration. You can see the scar a little bit. It goes from ear to ear about one and half inches into my hair line. So it is pretty well hidden. I look normal what ever that is. But after talking with me for a few minutes they can till something is off. I don't respond appropriately. Always putting my foot in my mouth. But I never mean to be mean. Just trying to be funny. That is all.

How has your accident changed you mentally? What were you like before the accident? I am also glad you are okay. Scary how things can change in a heart beat. I never knew you were ....odd too. ha ha. :)

Kelly - posted on 07/09/2011

Wow, Shannin! That is fascinating! I love learning about the way the physical components of our brains make us "who" we are. I don't know why, I've just always been intrigued by it...

Do you like your new personality? I do. I always like reading your posts :)

Sometimes I think about what it would be like if we knew enough about our brains to purposefully alter things about ourselves through surgery. It could be like plastic surgery for the personality, or it could be used for more serious issues--imagine if we could cure chronic depression, borderline personality, OCD, and other chronic mental illnesses with a single surgery instead of life long treatment. It could even be used to target addiction......

Chatty - posted on 07/09/2011

Meh, I've always known that you had some type of brain damage, but I was always afraid to ask you about the details. Just wondering if your concentration, focus, memory were affected?

I was in a bad accident in 2002, and my head was ripped open and I have a horrible scar starting at my left temple and going up across my forehead and into the middle top of my head. I get people commenting all the time, asking what happened, and they always want to know what long-term damage or affects it's had. Does that happen to you?

Shannintipton - posted on 07/09/2011

I have been with the same man since I was 18. We have had our share of ups and downs. For years at a time. I think we are lifers. But sometimes not sure I guess as in any marriage. We have been together 27 years. We were together 19 years before we had kids. It has been a challenge. And thank you for the kind words. Do things make a little more since now? ha ha. :)

Chatty - posted on 07/09/2011

:(

Were you married before or after this happened? I think it's amazing that you're alive. You should be proud surviving something like that. I didn't have brain surgery and almost die and I've suffered with depression, definitely have OCD, and I bet some people would even say I'm bi-polar!

I don't know what you were like before, but I think you're great. You're super funny, and I think it's impossible to be mad at you......for long, anyhow! ;)

Shannintipton - posted on 07/09/2011

My head hurt all the time. I felt a pin prick in my head. I was throwing up all the time. Did a I think a cat scan first and then MRI's. Found a huge blood mass and when they went in that is when they found the other one. I use to be shy and not say anything to anybody. I have sort of changed in that area. Unfortunately. I speak first, think later. I will usually say the first thing that comes to mind without even thinking. It can be sort of a problem. And I don't catch on to things quickly. I take things the wrong way most of the time. It is a real problem. Thanks for asking.



As far as mental issues, I have depression, bi-polar and a little (a lot) OCD. But smart, nooooo way. That ship has done gone sailed. I just get by the best way I can.

Chatty - posted on 07/09/2011

How did they come to know about the first one bursting? That's some pretty scary ass shit, by the way. Glad you're ok.

Mental issues? What types of problems do you have? It changed your personality? What did you use to be like? ;)

Shannintipton - posted on 07/09/2011

AVM burst in my brain. I am lucky to be alive. It is called an Arterial Vessel Malformation. Easier to say a blood clot. When they did the surgery they found another one on the other side of my frontal lobe so I had two. That one had not burst so they removed it. It only changed my personality. I was never paralized or anything like that. Just mental issues.

Chatty - posted on 07/09/2011

Can I ask what happened for you to have to have brain surgery when you were only 27 years old, Shannin?

Shannintipton - posted on 07/09/2011

I am a 46 year old mom with an 8 yr old boy and a 4 yr old girl. I love them with my life. I don't believe in spanking or yelling (a lot). I had brain surgery when I was 27 so I do have some logic difficulties. So I like coming here for the answers.

Stifler's - posted on 07/06/2011

I am Emma from Australia... I have an 18 month old and a 5 week old. I used to be pro-spanking but since CoM I have discovered there are other ways to discipline kids so I joined this for tips lol

Chatty - posted on 07/06/2011

WOW! You fascinate me!

Cori - posted on 07/06/2011

I had to be thick skinned but it was great. I looked so young right out of college and a lot of my parents were court ordered to take parenting to get their kids back. They'd come in a look at me like I was crazy for trying to teach them. I'd have to lay it down, "Look, this isn't me pulling advice out of my bottom. These are curriculum created by parents and doctors. Their strategies work." We also did continuing education with foster parents. It was neat for them because they had to relearn a lot from how they parented their own kids. They weren't allowed to spank foster kids and it was really different for a lot of them. Before that I did my internship with Child Protective Services and volunteered at a youth correctional facility with the teen girls. Those experiences were amazing. Before I started staying home full time, I was substitute teaching for a bit. Regular teenagers seem a lot less scary after dealing with juvenile delinquents!

Chatty - posted on 07/06/2011

WOW! Cori, that sounds like an amazing opportunity. Kudos! Congrats on your baby bump, too!