How to discipline a 15 month old with love?

Chatty - posted on 06/21/2011

YAY! Congrats on the new bundle. So exciting! We're here if you have anymore questions or just need to chat.

Salime - posted on 06/21/2011

Jennifer and Dana: Thanks for all the advice! I'll take in consideration every one of your words. It's frustrating not being able to fully communicate with my LO, and I imagine he must feel as frustrated as I do when he's unable to tell me what's on his mind. Being able to know where he stands and how much he is truly capable of understanding is a great relief, specially now that his little brother is arriving any time now :)

Jenni - posted on 06/21/2011

First of all Congrats on the soon-to-be new addition to your family. :))



And I agree with what the other ladies have said; distraction, baby proofing, removal from harmful situations is the keys at this age. It is the age of 'cause' and 'effect' so he needs a safe environment to explore. He may understand what 'no' 'don't touch' etc. mean. But lacks the impulse control to stop himself, and doesn't understand consequences or *why* he should listen to you. At 15 month he is still half baby/half toddler. So you'll have to set your expectations a little bit lower, for now. There's no rush to discipline so just start off slow. You can start ignoring negative behaviours (as long as their not damaging to himself, other's or property) and praising him for positive behaviours.



I know, I was in the same boat as you when my son was that age. If I don't start nipping these behaviours in the bud now, I'm in for a world of trouble when he hits 2 years old. But what I learned is these behaviours at this age are not to be 'naughty' they are to explore and understand his environment. So with that in mind; channel him towards positive behaviours.



There will be plenty of time for more reactive disciplinary measures when he's two-three years old. He'll have more control over his actions and a better understanding of consequences for negative behaviours and rewards/praise for positive behaviours.



Try to lose the idea that he is 'deliberately disobeying you'. As he doesn't fully conprehend yet that you're an authority figure, that his actions can have negative results and how to control himself. He's just interested in finding out for himself at this age.



When he is around 2 you can start implementing logical consequences instead of just natural consequences. You can also start using time outs to teach him to harness his emotions when he is overwhelmed. Time outs will teach him how to calm himself down when he experiences runaway emotions (which usually leads to negative behaviours like; hitting, toy throwing, biting etc).



But for now just relax and let him explore his environment as much as possible. Remove him where safety is of a concern. Distract him away from detrimental behaviours.



Avoid saying 'no' for now and it won't lose it's power when you really need it, the tenacious twos.

Chatty - posted on 06/20/2011

The best advice I can give you for a child that age is to model appropriate, ignore negative behaviour, praise good behaviour and redirect.

AND BE CONSISTENT!

Good luck!

Salime - posted on 06/20/2011

Thanks Lissa! I'll definitely take your words in consideration. It helps knowing that he's not doing things simply to upset me but because everything seems to be a game :)

Lissa - posted on 06/20/2011

At this age most things are just a game for him, you need to redirect his attentions. If he is touching things you don't want him to touch keep them out of reach, if this isn't possible explain that this is not a toy for him and give him something else explaining he can have that instead. If he is throwing toys take them explain we do not throw toys if he does it again simply take them away. Don't tower over him when talking get down on your knees look him in the eye and say we don't do ....... we do this instead. For instance don't hit we use gentle hands, show me gentle hands then if he hits again put him down and walk away. At this age he isn't deliberately going against you he is just discovering the world and playing you just need to show him how to do it nicely and safely.