How to discipline a two yr boy who would not listen??

Toni - posted on 05/13/2012

He sounds like a typical 2 yo to me.

Instead of saying do not come in the kitchen which is a little wishy washy to a toddler, try do not come past here (while showing him where you mean), it gives a direction and a visual for him.

I agree with elfrieda though my son is far better behaved when he can help because he wants to learn about cooking, it stops me being surprised he's there because he is with me and he loves it. It is good to get them cooking early, each him safety...do not touch the hob or knives, do not play with hot liquid or pans etc and he'll be fine.

Also give him short directions do this..., don't do that....it keeps his attention better.

He's running ithe supermarket because it's fun, give him instructions how you expect him to behave, no running off etc and praise him for following them. If he starts to get bored be silly with him, jump down an aisle like a bunny, sing a nursery rhyme, look for anything coloured yellow, make up a story about what you're doing "we're going under the bridge what will be there? The yogurt monster, quick can you see your yogurts?"

Time outs work great with my kid but they only started to be really successful a couple of months ago, he's 2 1/2 so it may be that your son isn't quite there yet, be consistent with them and they will work.

I also find my son listens to me far better when I go down to his level and talk to him about what I want him to do, without shouting or raising my voice. Finally stop hitting him it teaches him nothing.

Katherine - posted on 04/30/2012

Ignore the bad behavior and praise the good. Don't say "No", it means nothing to them at that age. When shopping bring a snack or something to occupy him.

Like Elfrieda said, let him "help" you in the kitchen by doing non dangerous things.

DON'T spank! He is only 2. You could really hurt him if you spank out of anger. Or at all, for that matter.

Stop the yelling. Ask ONCE, if he doesn't listen calmly take his hand and remove him without saying a word.

Make a chart. Give him stickers every time he does something good. Let him put them on. Never take one off. Praise him for his good behavior ALWAYS!

Alison - posted on 04/19/2012

First, I've spanked my kids before and felt horrible about it. You're doing the right think by asking for help and advice. At two, I think distraction and time outs and modeling appropriate behavior are the best options. It's SO frustrating, but at this age, life is a big experiment. He's figuring out how everything works and what gets him attention, positive or negative. Try to involve him with your life and chores as much as possible. Put him in a highchair near you while you're cooking so he's safe but not in the way. Think about why he might be mad or crying, not just about how annoying it is. :O) I would take him to time out for hitting and biting and kicking, try to distract him when he's whiny and mad by playing with him or getting him involved with a toy. He might just be bored or needing attention. If that doesn't work, you can ignore him. He'll stop eventually if he's not getting attention. IT takes a lot of effort at this age: they have short memories and inquisitive minds. But it's worth it to guide him in a positive way. You may try and read a parenting book with his father or go to parenting (or anger management) classes. Hitting him hard, especially as often as it sounds, is not appropriate and I don't think he will even make the connection between what he did and the punishment. A good book I've read is Parenting Young Children by Dinkmeyer and McKay.

Christina - posted on 03/12/2012

i somewhat agree with the other posts and i disagree at the same time. i dont agree with my kids being in the kitchen if cooking is going on. that is my preference after seeing my mom get 2nd and 3rd degree burns from cooking. my kids ARE NOT allowed in there if cooking is going on period. but i also do agree with the spanking to a degree. my son who is adhd needs to be spanked on some things he does. with your kitchen being open try giving him a coloring book and have him color at the table while you cook. or have him play with some toys at the table. the running around while shoppin. my 8 year old does that and hes a little big for the cart so usually i will take him in the bathroom and pop him on the butt. my son also knows what no means at 8 but he dont want to listen. i dont do time out with my son because usually if he gets a time out something gets distroyed. my walls have numbers names the alphabet or holes dug in my wall. and since i rent my house the time out doesnt go. alot of what you are explaining is why my son was diag with adhd at the age of 3. good luck

Elfrieda - posted on 03/06/2012

My 2-year-old is much better behaved when he's "helping" me. For example, if I'm in the kitchen baking something, I put a little flour in another bowl and give him a whisk and a chair to stand on so he can do what I'm doing.



He helps me put the laundry in the basket and carry it to the washing machine and put things in and out there.



He likes holding the dustpan for me to sweep the pile of dirt into, but I have to really help him when he tries to dump it into the garbage because he just whacks it and the dust flies everywhere.



If I'm making the fire (we heat with wood) he carries the box of kindling, scrunches the newspaper, and today he even lit the fire with me helping and then we both blow on it to make it grow. (not sure if that was the wisest choice...)



I'm not very good at disciplining, I mostly just say, "No, you leave that door closed", stand in front of it and ignore him and let him cry about it for a while and then ask, "where's the kitty? Is she under the bed?" to distract him. So I mostly try to keep him out of trouble in the first place by asking him to help me.



Maybe you won't need to discipline him much if you keep him busy with all the interesting things that you are doing? Example: give him the (unbreakable) groceries to put in the cart.

Prabha - posted on 03/05/2012

Thanks Louise. I keep trying timeout... but all he does is scream and cry and cry and cry. I let him cry but after a while he comes running back to me without stopping crying.

Louise - posted on 03/05/2012

Number one stop the hitting, all this is teaching him to do is lash out at others. Number two once you start shouting your son will not listen!



At two he is old enough to understand time out. Either put a stair gate in his room or place a chair in a quiet corner and when he is getting out of control warn him he will have to go to time out and then if he continues take him to the naughty chair. If he moves take him back and back and back until he has done his two minutes. After a while he will get the idea that bad behaviour gets him time out. So he will start to behave more and more. He is still a baby so go easy on the disciplin unless he is being dangerous.



Always end the two minutes with a cuddle. Very important and always explain to him why he is at time out so he knows for next time what he did wrong.