In hindsight....

Nikki - posted on 06/11/2010 ( 100 moms have responded )

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If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of information about being a parent before you had children what would it be?

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[deleted account]

Oh, and.....more about pregnancy and labor......did you know that when your water breaks it's not just one big one time gush of fluid? It keeps leaking.....WTF? How come nobody mentioned that shit to me? LOL! Like it's not bad enough worrying about fluid gushing from your vagina but not knowing it KEEPS leaking pretty much right up until you give birth.....SO gross! Would have appreciated a heads up!

[deleted account]

Dont feel guilty to leave them for a few hours.....i couldnt leave her,the guilt would set in if i did go for a few hours....but what i wish i had of known was a healthy balance is key and thats not going to hurt me or my baby.It would do us both the world of good.



In her five years of life i left her for 6days while i was in having her little sister and it was hard for us both but i felt worse because that healthy balance wasnt put in place from the get go and it is so very important, and it was making her anxious being away from me.My fault but i learnt and i didnt make the same mistake with baby number 2.

:-)my oldest is really good now and shes not anxious to have me gone anymore for a few hours once in a while.:-)

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My advice to myself... when you're first in very early labour, don't think that you have to stay awake in case you suddenly jump to hard-core labour... instead go and have a sleep. Over 50 hours awake is not fun.

Nikki - posted on 06/14/2010

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I thought I was wetting myself Dana! I wish someone had told me about the lack of bladder control in the last month! I had a really bad cold and EVERY TIME I would sneeze I would pee myself, it was horrific! When I got to the hospital I kept apologising and the nurse was like "no your not wetting yourself" ohhh.

With the placenta thing, do you guys get the Vitamin K injection? I didn't feel my placenta at all, they give you an injection here to remove it from your uterus, so I wonder if that makes a difference or if I was just lucky?
One thing I wish someone had told me about labour is that contractions are not always regular, mine were not until I was 2 minutes apart and in the transition phase, no one believed I was in labour, "oh it's just braxton hicks" braxton hicks my ass!

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Becky - posted on 07/14/2010

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Well, I can't pick just ONE piece. Hell, I'd write myself a whole novel. Okay, top 10.

1. Get the facts on circumcision!
2. Its okay to breastfeed (long story) so give it a real effort.
3. Don't believe everything the doctor tells you. He's not God.
4. Yeah, forget sleep honey. Its over.
5. Don't worry so much about hitting milestones. Every baby is different.
6. Enjoy those sweet little newborn baby snuggles, they only last a blink. The dishes can wait.
7. Don't sweat the small stuff. Seriously.
8. Make time for your husband. He started this whole thing. lol.
9. Its okay to take a little "me" time too.
10. Last but not least, don't worry so much about who your children will become. They are someone today (yep, stole that straight from a quote, but its so true!). Enjoy them! Have fun with them! Love them! They'll turn out just fine ♥

Becky - posted on 07/13/2010

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I know what is up with this post. I wrote 10, but it only showed 6. When I clicked edit, I saw all 10. Crazy. Well, I reposted it :)

Caitlin - posted on 07/13/2010

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Labour wise:
-Your water breaking does not mean rush to the hospital the baby is about to fall out (and yeah, it keeps leaking, kind of gross)
-When they tell you to puch for the placenta - they don't mean as hard as you were pushing for the baby - apparently the doctor had to throw out his shoes, because it missed the bucket thingy..
-You usually crap yourself while pushing (eww)

-Unlike other stitches - you and ENCOURAGED to take a bath with an episiostomy (i didn't know that the first time, twas HELL)

About parenting more specifically:
-Get used to dinner conversations revolving around eating/pooping habits
-No matter what problem you child has, you will be able to deal with it
-The capacity to love your child is even greater than you imagine
-Meconium is not only the dark poo the baby has after they are born, it is the evil substance that requires an ice scraper and 16 wipes per diaper change to remove...

Jaime - posted on 07/13/2010

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Ditto with the stool softeners AND the squirt bottle and I still had to pee in the shower for about the first 6 weeks after Gray was born. I didn't manage a #2 for quite some time and it sucked balls because I had hemorrhoids and I developed a fissure inside (it's like a migrane in your butt hole)...I would rather endure a thousand labours again than experience another fissure!

Meghan - posted on 07/13/2010

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Aw, JL...sounds like it was pretty bad! I was able to pee...they give us a quirt bottle when we leave the hosital and say to fill with warm water to spray down there while you pee...probably to calm the pain AND get the urine going...I had to use stoll softners for like 3 weeks after too...just to give you all WAAAY tmi...LOL

Jaime - posted on 07/13/2010

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LOL Megs! You crack me up. The reason it's so difficult to pee and it burns is because during delivery there can be significant trauma to the bladder...if it's bruised from being head butted by a baby, then it's not so inclined to play nicely when you have to go. This was horrible for me when I had Gray. I didn't pee for about a day and I was drinking so much water. It was the most uncomfortable and painful feeling because I wanted to pee and tried to push to let my bladder go, but because of all the trauma it was a no go. I had to pee in the shower...and I was in there for almost an hour, bouncing up and down (gently) and swaying back and forth to try and coax it out...and I cried a lot!

Meghan - posted on 07/13/2010

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I wasn't prepared to hurt after...I guess in my nieve little mind I thought the baby would pop out and my crotch wouldn't hurt...and peeing-I didn't even have any "work" done down there during and it still felt like I has an std (um...not that I have ever had one, but I have heard some burn...wow enough talking Meghan)

Amie - posted on 07/06/2010

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Hey! Erin! Bleeding out secrets around here, there goes their image of my innocence. =P

Erin - posted on 07/06/2010

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Holy wow how did I miss this thread??

Ok firstly.. Amie swears like a sailor. Try chatting to her on MSN and you'll see what I mean lol.

As for what I'd tell myself, I would have told myself to calm the friggin hell down. Going overdue is horrible, but crying and stressing about it is not going to help.

I would have told myself to labour for as long as humanly possible at home, thus avoiding the antsy doctor who pressured me to let him to break my water when I stalled for a couple of hours at 5cm (my labour was relatively painless until that point).

I would have warned myself about the recovery. Everyone knows labour hurts, but I was not prepared to be so sick and sore afterwards (a haemaglobin of 78 and 3rd degree tear will do that to ya!).

I would have told myself that although it seems like they are going to cry until they're 45, they won''t. It's impossible. They will go to sleep at some point.

I would have told me to believe other mothers when they tell you 'it's just a stage, things will go back to normal soon', even though it really won't feel that way.

Johnny - posted on 06/21/2010

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I'm with you ladies on the holding thing. I rather wish I hadn't carried Michaela around in one of those infant carrier seat thingys. It took me a while to figure out the wrap and the sling, and I wish I'd tried harder earlier. Now that she's so big, I wish I'd spent more time holding that precious little baby in my arms. i never believed in the whole "spoiling" thing, my dad drilled that into me, lol. But I just saw everyone carrying their babies around in those things and I just thought that was "how it was done". And besides, those infant carriers are HEAVY!

Jaime - posted on 06/20/2010

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Awesome point Kim...and I agree! Although before I became a parent I thought the same about spoiling. I don't know if I carried Gray around enough, I didn't bond with him until he was 4 months old. Don't get me wrong, I loved him from day one...but the bonding wasn't instant.

[deleted account]

Ohhh, I thought of another one, Jess' comment reminded me... when people tell you not to continually pick up your newborn because they'll "get used to it and expect it all the time" a great comeback is "they've been carried around for the first nine months, they're already used to it".

Jess - posted on 06/19/2010

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I would tell myself:

Demand the epidural the minute that second pink line appears on the wee stick.... maybe then it will arrive on time ! Natural labour is not as fun as it sounds in the brochures !!!

I would have also held my daughter more, I thought I would spoil her if I held her too much.

I would also tell myself that there is no shame in taking the drugs.... all the drugs. There is no medal for going through natural labour.

Also, I would tell myself to do what feels natural, your pregnancy, your labour, your baby NO ONE else can tell you whats right because only you know.

By far the most important would be to have actually smacked out that bitchy midwife when I had the chance because I totally regret not doing it now ! She better hope she isn't crossing a road anywhere near me. My car may get a quick lesson on accelerating rapidly !

Tanya - posted on 06/19/2010

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douche canoe Priceless

So I would tell my self that all the iron may make you poop blood. When I was 8 months it happened to me and I freaked out. Only after that did I hear it was normal. I have made it my mission in life to tell every women this.

For the actually Labor I would say eat something. I am so jealous of you ladies who stopped for something. I had my son(Jan 220 on the day before my birthday (jan 23). My Appointment was on Jan 21 and they sent me to be induced. I had only had a hot dog all day because we were going to go out for my b-day dinner after. I knew I didn't want to take the chance of going into labor without a fancy meal. So I ate a hot dog at 2 pm on thursday jan 21st and didn't eat anything else until 6am Jan 23. Oh what fun. I had a c section so no food.

You ladies are very funny

Johnny - posted on 06/18/2010

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Just to start... I hate Timmy's and wouldn't even appreciate it if you bought me a donut from there. IMO their coffee is swill and their sandwiches taste like I imagine a douche canoe would. And I hate NHL hockey. I like junior hockey and love those little peewee kids, but I'd rather go through labor again than be forced to sit through every game of the play-offs. According to a recent study, most Canadians actually could care less about hockey. I felt vindicated.

As for the OP (wow this thread was amusing, lmao @ twatwaffle) I think I would have actually told myself all the things I know now about breastfeeding. I could have save myself a whole lot of agony and sleepless nights. Otherwise, having done foster care, much of the stuff came as no surprise. Although somehow when the child that you squeezed out of your vajayjay starts yelling and throwing things at you, it really is much more insulting.

Riana - posted on 06/18/2010

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My advise to myself... Being a perfect mom does not mean that you will have perfect children.

You do not need to be perfect and neither does your children, who cares what the rest of the world thinks anyway, instead spend more time enjoying them and less time worrying if your doning it right. Parenting is impossible to get right, its the hugs and tickles and laughter that counts the most so take time to enjoy it.

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Hockey..mmmmm... liked playing it when i was in high school never really had the chance to watch it as i'm in australia and its not a big game over here.
Never heard of Tim Hortons but i think by the sounds of it i'd like to try it.
Yes it is a NSW jersey, I didn't watch the game because my hubby did and he supports QLD and i didn't want the whole i told you so thing to happen.

Nikki - posted on 06/16/2010

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Aww Shannen is that a NSW jersey? if so you must need a bit of a cheer up today ;P he he

[deleted account]

How bout you Shannen.....hockey? Depending on where you're from you may or may not have Tim Hortons.....you're surrounded by Canadians, eh?!!

[deleted account]

My husband reminded me that my first meal after giving birth was a bagel belt and a tea from the timmies on the main floor of the hospital.
Which was a good thing because the breakfast was cold and not appealing.

Jaime - posted on 06/16/2010

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I am not a coffee drinker...I am a lover of all things 'tea'. And yes, Tim Horton's tea is all the more better because it's in a paper cup damnit!

Amie - posted on 06/15/2010

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I don't get a coffee high. However if I don't get enough of it in a day I'll get a wicked migraine. I suppose it's a good thing I rarely get enough sleep to not need it in the morning? LOL!

Meghan - posted on 06/15/2010

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I never used to get a coffee high until after having Josh. Damn kid screwed up my caffine tolerence.

Katherine - posted on 06/15/2010

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Cherish every moment, and whatever it is, it's not that serious!!!

Jaime - posted on 06/15/2010

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Nicole...on the east coast they say "hackey"...lol. I'm not from the east coast, but it's still fun to say it that way. And Tim Horton's must be loved by all Canadians or else!

[deleted account]

Hey I'm Canadian and I say Hockey not hackey ... hacky sacks are something entirely different ;P

Though I can honestly say I am not a huge fan of Tim Hortons, but then I am not a coffee drinker...

Well okay I am a closet coffee drinker. I started drinking coffee about 6 months after William was born. It was the only way I made it through the work day without falling asleep while standing up.
My Mom always told me there would come a day and I would start drinking coffee. I never believed her.
She laughed so hard the day I told her I started drinking coffee.

Jaime - posted on 06/15/2010

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You shut your mouths when you're talkin' to me about haaaaaaaackey! LOL...that was my best Canadian accent!

Jaime - posted on 06/15/2010

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LOL...technologically-challenged...I think that'll be Alzheimer's for the future generations...if you can't work an electronic device, you're going into a nursing home!

[deleted account]

LOL Could have been worse. My parents brought their camera (new to them) and had finally purchased a memory card only to learn the card they had wasn't compatible with the camera (due to age the card was too big for it to read). My sister saved the day and switched cards with them as hers was a newer camera, but my poor technologically challenged parents...

Jaime - posted on 06/15/2010

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oops, I'm lying...I do have a few more from D day and hours before delivery...but those are of me and not my son. Effin' digital cameras and their effin' memory cards! Donkey fuck! LOL

Jaime - posted on 06/15/2010

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I don't have those pics of my son either Nicole. I got a brand new digital camera from my friend as a baby shower gift and I forgot to buy a memory card...the camera's default card only holds 10...I have his first shot all bundled up after he came out and that's it. The rest were the day after and so on.

[deleted account]

*giggles*

I just wanted to add I was SO glad my water didn't break until after I arrived at the hospital.
My friend was visiting when I made the call to go to the hospital because I was starting to feel ill and having major pelvic pain when I tried to stand or move.
Her car was brand spanking new and 3 days old. I made her put three garbage bags and a towel on the seat just in case.

My husband beat me to the hospital because he was on the bus to play a game at another friend's house and he was 3 blocks from the hospital when he got the call.
Thankfully he knew I was with our friend so he called her cell to find out which door he should wait for us at.

As to the placenta, I was so exhausted and relieved and happy that William came out alright (there was some question as to whether or not he would be okay at that point) and I think forceps also complicated things further and they probably pulled it out with those.

If people told you that things can go wrong and what could go wrong we'd probably be too terrified to have children.
I just count myself lucky and thank the OB on call that morning and the powers that be that everything worked out for our munchkin.

The sad thing was we were so relieved and dead tired that my husband, the shutter bug, forgot to take pictures of our son until about 2 hours after everything was all said and done and I was too tired to remind him to take pictures.

So I think out of all our friends who had children within 6 months of our son we have none of our child being weighed etc.

Amie - posted on 06/15/2010

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I dunno. If there's a douche that's as big as a canoe though, I'm SO glad they are no longer recommended for use. ROFL!!

Amie - posted on 06/15/2010

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LOL! I think the best part about the swearing is my oldest two. If they hear me swear, they'll stop what they're doing, hands on the hips, look me dead in the eye and go "Mommy those are BAD words, you don't say them."

Ya, ya. Go play. LOL!

I'm really bad for the son of a bitch! when I hurt myself. LOL!

Oh and I read something hilarious on the people of walmart site. They have a special section for hate mail. Some psycho came on and called everyone twatwaffle douchecanoes. ROFL!!! I still laugh when I think of that one. LOL!!

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