Life stress and Behavior management correlations

Haley - posted on 04/22/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi everybody. I was wondering if anyone has noticed a correlation between their level of stress and the way they have handled their child. For instance being short fuzed on bad days etc.

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Jaime - posted on 04/25/2010

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Absolutely...I think it's a direct correlation. Stress is not inherently negative, in fact, some stress causes us to improve and inadvertently reduce our stress significantly. But for the most part, and particularly in today's society, stress is not easily seen as an asset, and more of a burden. Economic recession, war, loss of faith in the political systems running our respective countries...though they are on a grand scale and produce stress on a national level, they still affect us at home.

I am a single mom, on assistance with absolutely no financial or emotional support from my son's father...HUGE stress...at first. The difficult thing about stress is not actually stress itself, it's knowing how to jump over the hurdles that cause stress to accumulate to such monumental proportions that we find ourselves venting our frustrations at the easiest target--namely, our children/family.

When I first had Gray, I was a mess...emotionally, physically, mentally---in over my head! And as the months wore on, the stress built and built and built, and all the while I kept directing my frustrations (and consequently my stress) at my son. Eventually I realized that stress is always going to be present because it is a fundamental part of life...it lets us know our limits so that we can either make changes or make a new plan altogether. So I have since found other outlets for my frustration in the form of counseling, parenting support groups, playgroups for my son, and of course this forum.

For about the last month I have noticed significant changes in my attitude and the way that Gray responds to me when I'm disciplining him or trying to help him with something. He is now recognizing that I'm calm, so it helps him to be calm, which naturally reduces the stress without much effort. Basically it's about taking small steps to bring about big changes. It will vary for everyone depending on what point in a person's life they decide to make changes...but all of the possibilities for success are there.

Life stress doesn't have to dictate behaviour management unless we allow it to.

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Karen - posted on 05/04/2011

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I have noticed that when I have something on my mind, stressed out about something, or just plain tired....I have a shorter fuse with my kids. Anyone any tips...I'm open to suggestions.

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I'm sure there's definitely a difference......fortunately for me, I'm a SAHM and don't have a lot of stress! I'm sure Roxanne appreciates it because trust me, no one wants to encounter a stress out version of me! I remember those days and I'm sooo thankful and grateful they're gone!

Riana - posted on 04/24/2010

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DEFINATELY, of all the people in the world my daughter (Annika) is most sensitive to my mood swings. I have tried hiding/avoiding it but it is impossible she lives thru the ups and downs in my life as much as I live thru the ups and downs in hers. My son (Kobus) is much less bothered will sometimes randomly come to hug and kiss me when I MOST need it though!

Charlie - posted on 04/23/2010

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Most definitely !!

Being pregnant , emotional and hormonal ive had to watch my emotions getting the better of me because ive noticed when i am getting tired and frustrated i start to feel stressed and it makes a big impact on how i handle myself .

Nikki - posted on 04/22/2010

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It makes a HUGE difference!! Sorry don't have much time right now to elaborate, but yes, your mood can be a large factor in your child's behaviour.

Meghan - posted on 04/22/2010

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I do!!! My main stress in my life (at the moment) is dealing with my ex...it takes one text msg from him and I am SET OFF!!!! I try my very hardest not to take it out on Josh, and I try SO hard to act like I am not totally pissed off but I think no matter how hard you try, babies can sense there is something wrong or mommy isn't as happy as she was 10 mintues ago!! I do find that going to work is free time for me (crazy huh?) and in a way I am refreshed afterwards (even though I work until 2 some nites). I look at it as time away from Elmo and Dora, and poopy diapers. Anyway, I have has almost a week of those stressful moments so done with the bent! I wish you the best of luck with everything!

Haley - posted on 04/22/2010

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I ask this question because I will soon be graduating college, ending my semester long internship within the first week of July and quitting my job as a delivery driver at domino's also in May. I have been incredibly stressed out from all of these factors and have at times been short fused with my daughter. I do not know what to expect going into the professional work place, but do anticipate less stress. Has anyone else noticed that the tighter you are would the less patience you have?

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