Jodi - posted on 01/21/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )
My usually laid back, calm and quiet, roll with the punches husband is yelling...a lot. Here's our situation:
I am 33 weeks pregnant with twins. It has not been an easy pregnancy, for any of us! Being in my third trimester as a stay at home parent is exhausting, and my nearly 2 year old no longer takes naps...which means mommy doesn't get naps either. So, my husband wakes up with our daughter at 6 a.m. everyday, and has been for a month or two now. (I do get up with her once...MAYBE twice a week to let him sleep him, but I'm extra crabby and hormonal those days!)
The last couple of weeks I've been getting up earlier and earlier because she's downstairs whining or crying and he's yelling at her. Not quite yelling, but definately a good step or two above a "firm" voice...and he's saying no in nearly every sentence, he's stopped giving her hardly any positive feedback for anything. So I get up, my daughter does not deserve that as much as I hate to make him seem like a bad guy, she simply deserves better than that.
What do I do? Even though I go to sleep when she does around 7, I'm up basically every hour using the bathroom and inbetween just trying to get comfortable. Not to mention those midnight cravings because if I don't eat every few hours I get hunger pains. I don't understand why, for just 2...MAYBE 3 hours he can't keep from getting frustrated with her.
I've never had any problems with her, she doesn't whine with me, she listens very well, is very well behaved and I rarely get seriously frustrated with her...and he's always been the same way, until recently. I've told him he needs to give her more positive phrases, use "no" less, keep his voice appropriate etc etc. Getting up so early to diffuse these situations leaves me in tears most days because it's upsetting I can't rely on him and I'm SO tired! What are we supposed to do when TWO more babies come along?! If he can't handle one toddler for a couple of hours on a full night's sleep with lots of breaks (I often take her out so he can get alone time) how is he going to handle two more?
I'm really concerned...and tired...any advice, support or encouragement...or insight on the male brain would be HUGELY appreciated! Thanks ladies!
(P.S. he's a really good father 99% of the time, and as long as I'm there to meet her needs or "discipline" her, he plays with her, gives her positive feedback etc etc, it's just when the care for her is all on him he can't handle it, and only recently!!!!)