Need to Vent!!!!

Concerned(AK) - posted on 02/11/2011

There r a lot of people who wll do anything to have child and there r others who don't know how to look after them!

Marylea - posted on 02/08/2011

This was a topic in the debating mom's comunity. For the most part the mom's there felt it was child abuse but a few thought it was perfectly okay and said they did the same with their children. And there was a middle group of women who felt that this woman shouldn't be punished because after all she went on the show for help not to be condemed. I didn't see the episoide of Dr. Phil but I went online and read what happened on the show and got some back ground info on this woman and her circumstances.



After reading the things I did I came to the conclusion that this woman deserves everything she gets. She's not some first time mom having a hard time. She's a mother of 6, 4 biological children and adopted twin boys. Her husband is a patrol cop. They should know better. This woman made it very clear that in her house she is boss and her children are to bend to her will and I think that's very wrong. She made remarks about how when she spanked her adopted son (the one she abused in the video) he would give her a look that said "is that all you got?" She talked about making him do jumping jacks to the point of exhaustion and how that didn't change his behaviour either.



Based on everything I read and saw in clips from the show it was made very clear to me that all this woman cares about is control. She wants her children to be her little soilders and for them to act and behave the way she wants. Her words were that the only child that is a problem in her house is the boy she gave hot sauce too (Kristoff) She refered to his twin as a good little boy but refered to him as a bad little boy. Children are sometimes bad they can't be perfect all the time. The thing that made me believe that this woman had not been truly listening to what anyone on the show was telling her was her response when Dr. Phil explained to her what needed to change. He asked her if the changes he described sounded like a plan and she responded with “My only question is do I lower this arbitrary bar for all of my children or just for Kristoff?” Are you kidding? Everyone told her she was abusive. The audience was bawling and she still didn't get it. Of course you had to stop abusing all your children not just one of them.



When I saw the video my heart sank but when I read further into the situation I only got sadder. I don't understand how someone could hurt a child. Its just awful. I heard on the news when these charges first came about that "hot saucing" is becoming a new disciplinary parenting trend. Its just so sick.



Marylea

Jess - posted on 02/08/2011

I saw that episode on Dr Phil. I cried ! And then went and hugged Ava despite the fact she was having her mid day nap.

This women was clearly not screened carefully enough before being allowed to adopt.

Meghan - posted on 02/07/2011

I have a close friend who used to do this with her 3 and almost 2 year old. I know she was at her wits end. A few times she even told me that she wished that she didn't "have to" and wanted her kids to just behave as well as my son-which is silly cause J can be very VERY naughty at times lol. I bit my tongue until the day she did it in front of me. I really didn't want to seem condescending, but my heart just broke for those kids. I sat her down and asked her what she was trying to accomplish, and explained how it wasn't a natural consequence. I also let her know that I am always there for her, if she does get that overwhelmed or upset I can come help. Since then I am pretty sure she has changed her perspective on it.
Parenting is probably the hardest thing any of us will ever do. How we raise our kids really does have a ton to do with how we were raised and how the people around us raise their kids. It isn't the be all/end all though. It can be a real struggle for some...I know I have to struggle almost every day with it. But there is always the choice to give kids the same respect level we would give anyone else and fight urges or break cycles.

JuLeah - posted on 02/07/2011

I agree

Emily - posted on 02/07/2011

I'm glad she was charged. I saw that show and immediately thought of COM due to hearing other moms brag about how the hot sauce or cold shower punishments "work for them." Flat out child abuse. Sadly this happens in too many homes.

Kelly - posted on 02/07/2011

I'm right there with you!
When my son was 3yrs old, I think, we were eating at a local restaurant that keeps this really, REALLY HOT green sauce on the tables. It is in a jar with a tight lid on it, but my son grabbed for it and got a hold on it. I took it away almost immediately and didn't think much of it b/c the lid was on it and there was no spill or anything. 10 seconds later, he put his finger in his mouth--not for any reason, just one of those kid things--and SCREAMED. He cried for over an hour going between whimpering and full on crying. I tried to comfort him, but there was really nothing I could do--they gave us milk and bread (supposed to work better than water), but it didn't help.
And all that was just from the dry residue that was on the lid!! Granted, it was REALLY HOT sauce, but I would never, ever purposely put my little through that.